When the doors closed, our aloneness spread like a thick blanket of awareness through the room. Candles flickered, casting romantic shadows in the dim lighting. Through the window I saw that the rain had nearly stopped, but the skies were still dark.
The Senator lifted the cover off my plate, revealing stuffed chicken with pasta. It took all of my might not to tear into it. My hands shook as I cut it.
“Are you feeling well?” he asked.
“A little hungry and tired, but very well. Thank you.” I took a bite and held back a moan.
We ate in silence. He waited until I was nearly finished to ask me another question.
“Why are you sleeping on the floor?”
“Oh . . . I . . .” I shook my head. Did the guards tell him every mundane detail about what they saw me do?
“Is the bed not to your liking?” He was sincere. “Too soft?”
“No.” I set down my utensils. “I’ve been restless. I guess I got used to sleeping with others around me, and it feels weird to be alone. I was only sitting on the floor while I waited for the guards to come, and I accidentally dozed off.”
“It’s because of the girl, isn’t it?” he asked. “You miss her.”
I swallowed down a bout of emotion, and nodded.
“Your maternal instincts are strong.” He said it like a compliment, then sipped his wine. “I worry that if you become a mother by in vitro, you will have a difficult time allowing others to help you raise the child.”
Hot acid suddenly filled my veins. I knew I needed to get my emotions in check before I responded. I looked away, staring out of the window.
“I apologize,” he said gently. “This subject upsets you. It upsets me as well that you were given the treatment.” The treatment that killed my eggs.
I couldn’t help myself, I took my glass of wine and downed half of it. “I think some of the DRI have minds of their own outside of the Baelese cause.”
His jaw tensed, and he looked away. “Indeed. Some have wanted to undermine me from the beginning. They think I am . . . too soft. You see,” he twined his fingers on the tabletop. “After I was used as the face of our movement, many of my kind thought to be rid of me. To promote Vahni or another female in my place. I think many are irritated that I have fought to keep my position. But I am the only one who understands humanity.”
I took another gulp of the white wine and felt heady already. I had to be careful.
“I know you are sad,” the Senator said in a melancholy voice. “And when I take care of a few things, you will be able to visit Primo Town more frequently.”
Take care of what “things?” Tater and Linette?
I couldn’t look at him. I stared at my wineglass as he went on.
“The beauty of our way of life is that you will still be a mother. Each child is your adopted son or daughter. Please, Ms. Haines . . .” He leaned forward across the table, and his warm thumb swiped a tear from under my eye. Shoot. I’d gotten so good at holding tears back. And oh, my gosh. He’d touched me.
I shivered and looked at him. He had gone still again as he watched me. We stared for a long, tense moment before he sighed and sat back, looking away in thought. I downed the rest of my wine and wiped my mouth.
“Thank you for dinner.” As much as I knew I should take advantage of our time alone together, I was not in the mood.
He tapped his bottom lip. “Do you like riddles, Ms. Haines?”
I gave him a questioning look. “Sometimes.”
“Let’s see if you can figure this one out.” He sat up and cleared his throat. “Epare-pray or-fay ar-way.”
I snorted a laugh. “What?”
He repeated it for me twice more, a look of mild amusement on his face. I rolled the nonsense around in my head. All of the–ay sounds at the ends triggered a memory, which I thought about for a minute before blurting, “Pig Latin!”
A slow, tight grin came to him. “Very good, Ms. Haines. Now, tell me what I said.”
I rearranged the sounds, still smiling as I told him, “Prepare for . . . war.” My smile slowly faded. The Senator nodded, thinking, his jaw grinding as my abdomen suddenly tightened with awareness.
What had I just done?
“Smart girl,” he said softly.
Oh, no. Oh, no. I pulled my shaking hands into my lap. Where had he heard that? He’d tricked me! Whose communications had he intercepted?
“It is all right, Ms. Haines,” he promised me. “You have nothing to worry about. Just a riddle.”
I forced a smile and nod, though I knew I had just helped him with something he wasn’t supposed to know. My hands trembled fiercely without my permission, and my chest struggled to contain my short breaths.
“Look at me, Ms. Haines.” The Senator’s voice rubbed my anxiety like a balm, calming me immediately. A breath slowly released my lungs like a sigh, and I met his eyes. His passion-filled eyes.
“Tell me how my voice makes you feel.” The nerves in my body were frazzled, having gone from one extreme to another. The soothing sensation of his voice sent a rush of warmth to my core, like a massage to my soul. My inhibitions shattered and fell like rubble.
“I feel safe when you talk to me like that,” I told him. “And . . .”
“And?” He leaned forward.
“And turned on.”
His eyes sharpened, and his hands gripped the chair handles. We stared at one another so long that my sense of serenity began to wane, and cool awareness crept back into my head.
Holy . . . he was using that voice command with me!
I broke eye contact with a gasp, looking down and trying to catch my breath.
“W-why?” I stuttered in a broken breath.
“I have always been curious exactly how it affects a human. If it hurts or . . .” He shook his head. “I should not have done that.”
“I’m fine,” I said, sitting up straighter and feeling a streak of boldness coming on, spurred by some pissed off aggression. I wanted to punish him mentally, the way he’d done to me tonight. I gave a coy smile. “It’s a good thing I’ve got a room to myself now, isn’t it, Senator?”
The look on his face as he processed that was priceless.
“Thank you again for dinner, sir.” I stood, putting my napkin across my plate. “Good luck with your riddles.”
He sat very stiffly and made no attempt to stand like he usually did when I left. But that was okay. After tricking me, then mind-screwing me, I had no qualms about leaving him sitting there with his own temporary paralysis of sexual tension. He deserved it.
Amber
A knock on our door at three AM had Rylen and I scrambling out of bed. We’d already decided that we couldn’t go to sleep naked anymore, because we had to be ready to bolt at a moment’s notice. Hearing that knock sent my senses into overdrive. Rylen had the door open in half a second.
Top stood there, looking grave. “We’re on code red alert. The Baelese know there are bases communicating with one another. They intercepted England’s and they’re under attack now. It’ll take a lot more effort for them to get here if they’re suspicious, and based on their contact it seems like they’re still buying our ruse, but we’re on alert just in case.”
“Fuck.” Rylen ran a hand through his hair and paced. “What does this mean for their mating season? Will they cancel it?”
Top pressed his lips together. “So far as I can tell, it’s still on. They’re only allowing the bare minimum, though. So only about thirty percent of their soldiers will be out of commission.”
Rylen huffed out a breath. “It’ll have to work.”
“They figured out the Pig Latin pretty fast,” Top said. “But they only mentioned hearing one line in their comms—the one from England. Prepare for war.”
“So, they know something’s coming,” I said. “But maybe they don’t know when, or from where.”
“That’s my hope,” Top said. “In the meantime, I’ve added soldiers to more lookout points. If you
hear the base sirens sound, you get straight to the hangar,” he told Rylen, then looked at me. “And you go straight to the clinic.”
“Yes, sir,” we both said.
It was hard to fall back asleep after that. We spooned, with Rylen pulling my back tight against every inch of himself. I tried, and failed, not to imagine the sirens going off.
“Five more days,” Rylen whispered into my hair.
I held tight to his arms.
Five more days.
Remy
Prepare for war.
Dear God, where had that message come from? What was going on behind the scenes? How could I get word to Linette without the Senator or guards getting suspicious? I wracked my brain during the morning’s class.
Just before lunch, somewhat of a disturbance rose outside in the hall. A group of guards and soldiers rushed out of the building, getting in their vehicles and heading toward Primo Town. My heart flew into my throat. It was all I could do to finish my lesson. What was happening in the encampment? Had they found the radio?
By the time the children filed out for lunch, and the Senator walked in, my pulse was racing so fast I could hardly breathe. He looked sullen.
I was so lightheaded I wanted to sit down, but I couldn’t look suspicious. I leaned a hip against the desk and clasped my hands as he approached and stopped.
“Quite the activity today,” I said.
“Yes. Unfortunate activity.”
Breathe, Remy, breathe.
“Is everyone okay?” I asked.
He glanced toward the window, then back at me. “A woman in Primo Town has broken the law, and must be dealt with accordingly.”
I felt the blood drain from my face. No response was adequate. I waited for the rest of the information to drop, knowing we’d come so far. Only four days until the mating time. So close, only to be caught.
“Ms. Oliver, who worked in the kitchens,” he said.
It took two full seconds for my body to respond to what he was saying.
“What?” I whispered.
“Do you know her well?”
“No. I know who she is.” She was a tall, thin, brunette. About thirty, maybe thirty-five. Grumpy, but she’d never been mean to me. Then again, we’d never spoken much either.
“She is pregnant,” he said.
My mouth dropped open as that news hit me. I blinked rapidly, feeling ill.
“What will happen to her?”
“Well, if she reveals who the father is, and he is of a different race than her, we will allow her to live until the child is born.”
I covered my mouth against the harsh brutality of it.
“Do you know who she had relations with?” the Senator asked me.
I shook my head. “No, sir.”
“No matter. My soldiers will find out easily enough.” The Senator swallowed and nodded. “The sooner we can deal with this, the better for all.”
All I could do was stare at him in horror. He did look regretful, but it didn’t matter. He was going to kill her.
“Ms. Haines . . .” The Senator stepped closer. And closer, until we were near enough to touch. “If the child is biracial, I will recommend that you get to tend to it in its infancy.” A small smile crossed his lips, as if, in a morbid way, he were giving me a gift. “It is not generally how we do things, but I can have a crib brought to your accommodations. Just until the child is old enough to begin lessons. Two years? Perhaps three? Then he or she will begin life as a family unit within Primo Town.”
His head cocked, and God help me . . . his eyes were full of affection. He believed this was what I would want. A murdered woman’s child, as a consolation gift for having my own ovaries mutilated. I pressed my lips together against a sob, because I knew when it came down to it, I would raise that baby with all the love in my heart. But it was wrong. So wrong.
The Senator raised a hand, as if to lay it on my shoulder, only to drop his arm in defeat.
“There was a time, in the height of my congressional rule, when I became accustomed to touching. Handshakes, patting of shoulders, even hugs, and kisses on the cheek. But . . .” He looked toward the one guard at the door, then back at me. “This feels different.”
“It feels different for me, too,” I said in a trembling voice, and I meant it. I had never in my life had such ambiguous feelings toward another living creature. My emotions around him were muddied, and my body’s reactions were all over the place.
I feared him. I took comfort from him. I was disgusted by him. I admired him. I pitied him. I was drawn to him.
“Ms. Haines, in four days things will be much quieter around here.”
My breathing faltered and I managed an, “Okay.”
“My people will be celebrating an annual tradition. It is of the highest importance to our race. In years to come, nearly all adults will participate, but we must work up to that level of safety.”
I nodded, waiting for him to use the word “mating,” but he never did.
“I should warn you, those who do not participate will be overly aware of celebrations in the building. There will be high tensions, agitation, even animosity, so you will keep more distance than usual from the guards and be on your best behavior.”
“Yes, sir,” I said.
I met his eyes meekly, my heart hammering as I worked up the courage to ask the question Linette wanted to know. “Will you be celebrating, Senator?”
His eyes bore into mine, and I swear a torrid wave rolled in the space between our bodies.
“No, Ms. Haines. I will not.”
“Okay,” I whispered. “But . . . you’re not expecting any trouble during that time, are you?”
He gave me a small, reassuring smile. “None at all.”
“Good.” I returned his small smile.
A small walkie-talkie bleeped at his waist, and he pulled it out.
“Bahntan, we have the human male’s name. Martin Bishop. Caucasian.”
They were the same race. I closed my eyes and forced them open again.
The Senator’s lips tightened as he spoke into the handheld. “Gather the town members.”
It didn’t matter that he sounded unhappy. It didn’t matter that he clearly didn’t want to do this. He was doing it anyway, and that’s what mattered. I was not feeling drawn to him at this moment.
“We must go.”
“Let me stay. Please.”
His mouth tightened. “Every human is to be present. I cannot make an exception.”
“Senator.” My stomach rolled, and I pressed a hand to it. “I can’t handle watching.”
“Come,” he urged, temporarily stunning my system with a blast of calmness.
I followed.
On the ride to Primo Town, I wiped a trail of tears from my cheeks, and the Senator pretended not to notice. I felt like a automaton, dragging my feet as we went inside the gates. So many guards were present, surrounding the crowd of humans. In the front of the spectacle, Ms. Oliver from the kitchen was standing on a rectangular hay bale, her hands bound in front of her, and a gag in her mouth. Her filthy face was streaked with tears, and worst of all . . . I could see the lump in her thin belly where she was showing.
On a hay bale beside her was Mr. Bishop, his head high, though it looked like he’d been dragged through the dirt, kicking and fighting, earning himself a blackened cheek.
“Remy!” My head spun toward the tiny voice of Kelsey, who was struggling in Linette’s arms. I ran to them, scooping the girl to my chest and forcing her head into the crook of my neck.
“Sh. It’s okay. You’re safe.”
“No touching!” shouted a guard. I released Kelsey and stood, wanting to scream back at the heartless soldier. The guard moved away, staring down the line as the Senator moved to the front of the crowd.
Linette crossed her arms. The tendons in her neck were sticking out from how hard she gritted her teeth as she stared through the crowd at Ms. Oliver. A small body collided into my hip, and I looked do
wn to see Ronaldo, wrapping his arms around my upper leg. I pressed a hand to his head and looked around for a guard, but none of them were watching us.
I found Tater on the other side, staring ahead like a zombie. My insides lurched at the sight. I watched as the Senator got to the front and raised a hand, which hushed the area into complete silence.
“You all know the rules,” he said in his polite voice. “Unfortunately, two members of town have broken those rules. There are to be no sexual relationships until you are given permission. There is a time and place. Humanity can no longer allow itself to lack self-control. Let this be a reminder.”
Tears streaked Ms. Oliver’s face as she closed her eyes. I swallowed hard, and closed my own eyes when I saw two Baelese soldiers lining up in front of them. Screw the rules. I pulled Kelsey tightly to my other leg and pressed my hand into Ronaldo’s back, pulling him closer too. Though I was prepared, I still jumped when the guns sounded and the sound of bodies falling filled the air.
All around me, my fellow humans were jarringly silent, hands covering their mouths, eyes filled with moisture or something stronger . . . anger and disbelief. Yes, malevolence filled the atmosphere. Could the Baelese feel it?
I glanced behind me to see the nearest guard about seven feet away, but ten people stood between us. I stepped closer to Linette’s back.
“Mating begins in four days,” I whispered. “The Senator is not participating.” She made no show of having heard. I smoothed Kelsey’s hair back, then tweaked Ronaldo’s chin. “Be good, both of you. Listen to Ms. Linette.”
They nodded with tearful eyes.
Linette bent to scratch her ankle, whispering without looking at me.
“Find out exactly when the other ships are coming. And the code to the gate.” She walked away, gathering the kids, not looking back.
Unless that information fell into my lap by dumb luck, there was only one way I could obtain it. At the moment, getting close to the Senator was less appealing than ever.
I joined the Senator in the back seat of the vehicle, this time with a steel coat of armor around my heart. I didn’t cry on the way back to the palace. He slumped in his seat, staring out. In his hand, draped across his leg, I saw a slight tremble.