I refused to feel bad for him.
Amber
The next morning at breakfast, Matt came sprinting into the mess hall faster than I’d ever seen him run. Rylen and I were immediately on our feet.
“Meeting,” Matt said to the room at large. “Now.”
Breakfasts were left right where they were, though some grabbed bites and coffees to go.
Everyone jogged to the main building with the biggest meeting room. It must have been where ceremonies were held, because it had chairs and a small stage. Top and Colonel Latham were waiting when we all piled in.
J.D. sat with me in the back again. I could sit up front with essential personnel, but I liked to keep J.D. company and let the fighters sit together.
“Those who were in the Dugway bunker with me,” Top said, “are going to shit yourselves when you hear this. We received Morse code communications early this morning that we believe was from First Lieutenant Linette Thompson.”
I slid to the end of my seat, not believing my ears. A hum of adrenaline began beneath my skin as chattering rose up in the room.
“Oh, my God,” J.D. said.
“Here is what we know. Her code was not the best.” Small laughter. “There is a human encampment on Nellis Air Force Base. She is joined by Sergeant Jacob Tate and civilian Remy Haines.”
A sound of shock and elation sprang from my chest, and I covered my mouth with both hands. I felt J.D. rubbing my back and laughing with joy as a cheer rang out in the room. My vision swam with tears, and the loudest sobs in history rose from my soul. I fell forward, begging myself to calm down, but finding it utterly impossible. Two seconds later, I was scooped into a pair of strong arms, and Rylen’s voice was laughing in my ear, his voice choking up.
“Pepper, holy shit!”
I looked up to see tears falling from his eyes, too, and I grabbed his cheeks, kissing him, and hugging his neck as hard as I could. I could hear people around the room murmuring brother and best friend.
We wiped our eyes and I saw everyone turned, beaming at us until Top went on.
“If we deciphered her code correctly, the mating definitely begins in three days time. There are approximately one hundred humans on base willing to fight, and there are, or were recently, cells of humans outside of base rebelling. On average, there are ten guards in the encampment, though that number could be lower during mating. She’s not sure of the total number of enemy, but the base is fully stocked. Our plan is to have a handful of paratroopers land inside the camp with weapons for the prisoners.”
I couldn’t stop smiling. Tater and Remy! Other humans! Unbelievable.
“Sir,” New York Josh called out. “Do we know how she was able to communicate if she’s a prisoner?”
Top shook his head and chuckled. “My guess is that she got her hands on a radio and converted it to a transmitter, then used the relay method to bounce the signal.”
Everyone in the room grinned at this, nodding their appreciation. I had no idea what any of that meant, other than Linette was a genius with ovaries of steel.
“We’ve got two days to complete preparations,” Colonel Latham said. “At 0300 on day three, we travel. A handful of soldiers will remain here to man the base. Everyone else will have specific jobs to carry out. Every single man and woman is essential. There will be no wiggle room for mistakes. We train all day today. Hooah.”
“Hooah,” we repeated.
Everyone stood to go, many of them patting my shoulder and shaking Rylen’s hand in congratulations. I couldn’t imagine what Remy and Tater had gone through in their time with the Baelese. My brother was already mentally brittle before he was taken, so it seemed like a miracle that he was still alive.
When Devon and Shavontae came over, I hugged them both. Shavontae looked well, other than dark circles under her eyes.
“How are you feeling?” I asked her.
“Girl.” She shook her head and laughed a little. “Not good. But I’ll be all right. I’m staying here with Tyree and J.D. when y’all go.”
My eyes widened in surprise. “That’s what you want?”
She gave a slow nod. “Not at first, but yeah. This base needs protecting too.”
“Yes, it does,” I said, hugging her again.
She held me tight and said into my ear, “If my man gets hurt, you fix him, okay?”
My heart squeezed. “He’ll be a first priority. I promise.”
Remy
Lack of concentration and shot nerves had become a way of life while I worked with the children. It was the day before the “mating celebration”—gag—and I had no idea what was going to happen. I hadn’t talked to the Senator one-on-one since the day the prisoners were killed. All of the Baelese were tense, rushing around, whispering, shutting themselves inside of offices and board rooms.
“My goodness,” I said to little Milna when she turned in her timed Algebra worksheet. “There seems to be a lot of excitement in the palace today!”
“Yes,” she said, jerking her head toward the doorway where two soldiers ran past. “The Master Vessels are coming early.”
My heart slammed, and I leaned both palms on the desk to steady myself. She had no idea not to tell me that. I think the Baelese often forgot that the children had access to a human. If someone had told her not to tell me, she wouldn’t have. This is exactly the dumb luck I’d been hoping for.
“That is exciting,” I said. “Do you know when?”
“Three days,” she told me, making my heart slam even harder.
“Will the . . . celebrations still continue?”
“Oh, yes. They must. The remaining adults have formed greeting committees. Even us children will help.”
“How wonderful,” I said. “Enjoy your lunch.”
Milna left me, and my skin tingled head to toe. I had to find a way to get this information to Linette. Three days? I pressed a hand to my abdomen and forced myself to stand straight. In three days, the United States would be overrun with aliens. Once they arrived, our chances of ever getting this place back was slim. In two days, we would have no hope.
I jumped, startled at the sound of the Senator’s voice, calling my name as his dress shoes clacked against the tiles.
“Sir, hello.” I stood taller, but one of my hands still held the desk.
He looked preoccupied, in a rush.
“We have decided to give you and the children a small break for the next four days. No school.” He cleared his throat. “Things will be busy here. It might even be best for you to temporarily return to Primo Town, at least for a couple days.”
Dumb-freaking-luck.
“Oh,” I said. “Of course. Whatever you need. Will I go today?”
“Um . . .” His eyes darted around, in thought. It was the most frazzled I’d ever seen him. Even his hair was mussed. “No. You will remain one more day. Tomorrow evening you return to Primo Town.”
Crap! I tried keep the panic I felt from reflecting on my face. I need to warn Linette ASAP. And that meant I’d be stuck in the palace on the first day of mating. Gross. I wanted to be far away from there.
“You have nothing to worry about,” he assured me.
I stood straighter and gave him a small smile. “Of course not. Will I be working tomorrow?”
“No. The children will be in a special lesson with a Baelese teacher.”“Okay.” I twined my fingers and tilted my head. “What will I be doing, then? If I’m staying here?”
He tugged the collar of his shirt and cleared his throat. “Your presence calms me, Ms. Haines, so I’ll have need of you in my office.”
My eyebrows went up, and he swallowed, looking away.
“We will share meals, and talk.”
“Of course,” I repeated, suddenly nervous.
He lifted his chin, taking a breath. “Good. I’ll retrieve you from your room in the morning.”
He left me wondering what the hell I’d gotten myself into, and how I could possibly fix it.
Amber
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I hated not being in the same plane as Rylen, but he was flying a fighter, of course. The plan was to land at an abandoned regional airport a hundred miles north of Nellis Air Force Base. Matt’s job was to scramble signals that would warn the Baelese of air traffic. Our fighters were ready if it didn’t work, and hopefully we would be joined by other teams from around the U.S., if gas supplies worked out. Around the world, other human ally groups would be doing the same, trying to take back their bases and kill the Baelese while they were vulnerable.
All of the stars had to align perfectly for us to win this.
Afterward, we’d focus on taking down their ships when it was time for them to arrive. That part gave me the creeps.
Emotion burned the back of my eyes as we entered Nevada air space at sunrise. Looking down at that naturally scorched land, miles of dirt and hills and piles of rubbles where stadiums, hospitals, and homes once were. I could practically feel the dry heat on my skin just looking at it. Nostalgia and homesickness overcame me as I touched the window.
The entire cabin was silent, though I knew they were all scanning the skies and ground for enemy aircraft and vehicles. Top was alert up front, listening for news. Absolute tension filled the space as we came in for landing, all of us staring out of the windows. Each minute that passed without any sign of the enemy felt suspiciously miraculous. I didn’t know how military personnel dealt with this kind of mental stress on a regular basis.
Top stood when we came to a stop. “Everyone off to stretch your legs and grab a MRE.” Ugh, more packaged military food. How quickly I’d been spoiled by the fresher stuff on Elmendorf base.
It’d been harder than I expected to leave Alaska. J.D. cried, which made me cry too. Watching him say good-bye to Sean was hard. I couldn’t imagine staying behind if Rylen was going. And don’t get me started on Devon getting teary-eyed as he left Shavontae and Tyree. I would never forget overhearing their last words.
“Kick their asses, baby. You hear me?”
“For our future, Tae. We got this.”
Rylen and I hadn’t said much, just held hands tightly until the very last possible second. Words eluded us both. We just knew we had to win.
I jogged to where Ry was climbing out of his bomber, taking off his helmet and cracking his neck. He took me straight in his arms and kissed my head.
“Welcome home,” he said, and I smiled into his chest, breathing in the hot summer air.
“You too.” I peered up at him. “Maybe I shouldn’t say this, but I have a good feeling. It just feels . . . right, being back here.”
He nodded, looking out at the landscape of rugged mountains and dessert brush. “Yeah. This is our turf.”
Exactly. I took his hand and we joined Tex, Carmen, Josh, Matt, and Devon for our quick meal.
Matt sidled closer to me. “That’s really awesome about your brother and Remy.”
I smiled at him, feeling a warmth of joy all over again as I remembered they were still alive. “I just hope they’re okay emotionally, you know?”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “They’re strong. We’ll get them out.”
My heart fluttered nervously at our fragile situation. I closed my eyes and inhaled, exhaling slowly. The plan was to attack in the middle of the night. We were fairly certain we could keep them off our scent for the duration of today since they’d be busy mating and all. And in the meantime, our troops would scout the area.
Someone from one of the planes called for Matt, so he jogged away. A minute later, he came sprinting down the steps toward Top. Everyone moved closer to hear what was happening.
“—small aircraft coming from the east, making a straight line for Nellis. It’s not one of our allies.”
“Just one?” Top asked.
“Yes, sir. If it keeps its progress as is, and our data scattering tech keeps our location hidden, the aircraft shouldn’t be able to spot us since we’re north of the base.”
Top didn’t look pleased. He gave a terse nod. “Have them keep a constant eye on it. Tell all pilots to refuel and be ready to go at a moment’s notice.”
“Yes, sir.” Matt jogged away.
Top rubbed his jaw. “What are those fuckers up to now?”
Remy
I jumped at the soft knock at my door. I’d hardly slept last night. My brain would not turn off, and the tossing and turning had made my wavy hair into a wild, blond mane. I opened the door and the Senator peered at me through equally tired looking hooded eyes. His collar was undone. His rolled sleeves looked like he’d pushed them up too many times to count.
He said nothing, just gave me a small incline of his head, and turned, knowing I would follow. I noticed as we walked that he didn’t have an entire entourage of guards. Only one guard stood at the corner where each hall intersected. The female one tensed as the Senator passed. A weird feeling was in the air. Was it always like this when the Baelese made babies? Blech.
It was a relief to get inside his cozy office and close the door. A tray of hot tea and scones was on the coffee table in front of a leather loveseat, and he motioned to it. “Hungry?”
I was too nervous to eat, but I went forward and poured two cups as he sat in the swivel chair at his desk, staring out of his window. The sun was already bright. It would be a hot day.
“Do you take sugar or cream?” I asked him.
He absently shook his head, so I placed a cup in front of him and added one sugar to mine. Sugar was a rare commodity. Cream even rarer. In my old life, I used two sugars, plus cream, but I knew even one sugar would seem super sweet now, and I was right. I sat on the small sofa and took a sip, letting the sweetness and caffeine gently wake me up. I placed a scone on my plate and broke off small bites. The taste of it brought my appetite back to life. As I ate, the Senator continued to stare from the window.
“Is everything okay, sir?” I asked.
“Everything is going according to plan.”
I brushed crumbs from my fingers. “And how long will the, um, celebrations last?”
“Four to five days.”
I took another sip, and he turned to me, absently running his pointer finger over the rim of his cup. The movement was strangely sensual. Unhurried. By his dazed expression, I don’t think he meant it to be.
“Ms. Haines,” he said softly.
“Yes, Senator?”
“I am sure you know your friend Jacob Tate was given The Helper.”
A million emotions surfaced, making me flushed and frazzled. I clenched my hands in my lap and stared at my half-drunken tea on the table. No words came to me.
“I had a word with him after the procedure, when my guards had stepped back.”
Oh, no. My body pressed harder into the loveseat. Where was this conversation going?
“You were there?” I asked.
“I was.” He looked at me now, and my heart accelerated. “He admitted to having relations with you while in Primo Town.”
Oh, God. Help me. My hands went clammy, and though I was sitting, I felt faint. The scone became a brick in my stomach.
Denying what happened would be useless. So, what was he going to do to me? To Tater? Public execution, like the others? Or worse? This was personal. Would he feel like I betrayed him?
I stared at him, unable to drag my eyes away from the sadness in his own. My hands trembled, and I swallowed, looking away and gasping for a breath. I had to explain. I had to do something to try and earn back some portion of his trust.
“Do you love him?” he asked.
My jaw opened. I licked my lips. That was the loaded question of my life since the night in the tent. Did I love him? I didn’t want to. I’d tried to block him out. But he was always there, in my heart, and that’s not something I would tell the Senator. I chose my words carefully.
“It’s always been complicated between us, but there’s a comfort of familiarity and safety there. I was . . . lonely. I went to find him, to tell him about the uprising so he could be ready to fight.” I swa
llowed hard again, desperate. “I don’t think I’m handling the ‘no touching’ rule very well. For some people, it’s fine, but for others, affection is sort of a necessity. But I know, over time, my self-control will get better—”
“Or worse.” His soft, low voice sent a shiver up my spine.
“Sir,” I whispered, at a complete loss. “I’m sorry I disobeyed your rules. I swear I will never, ever—” I covered my mouth, choking up.
“The only reason he is still alive is because he is young, strong, half-Hispanic, and virile, and because he is a friend of yours.”
Being a friend of mine helped to save his life?
“That’s right,” he said, reading my face. “You are not the only one with weakness. If another Baelese had heard his confession, you would both be dead.”
My insides quaked. Our eyes locked from across the desk.
“Thank you,” I breathed. I pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes, wiping them hard, my head suddenly pounding. Linette’s voice was screaming in my ear. For the first time, I didn’t want to shush her. I understood her need to use any weapon possible to defeat the Baelese. Like it or not, I knew what I had to do.
I had to make an attempt to save us. “It . . . it wasn’t him I wanted. But I can’t have . . .” I couldn’t look at him, but I felt his eyes on me. My chest heaved with nervous breaths. What was I doing? I was out of my league. He would see right through me.
I jolted and looked up when I heard him stand. I’d never been more nervous or scared in all my life. He held my eyes as he walked around the desk, approaching like some sort of predator stalking its timid prey. My breaths were coming in short, shaky spurts by the time he sank into the cushion beside me, our knees an inch apart.
He was going to call me out on my bluff. Did he have a gun? Would he use voice control? And really . . . were my last words to him a complete lie? What did it say about me that Tater was in my heart, and yet I still felt this strange lure toward the Senator?
He draped an arm across the back of the loveseat, his hand inches from my shoulder, and he faced me. That familiar wave of heat circled between us, keeping me unsteady.