He was just going along with the song, not trying to tell her anything. She was telling herself that so her heart would calm, until he whispered in her ear again, only this time it wasn’t lyrics. “You’re driving me fucking crazy, Anna.”
Chapter 9: Something You Should Know
Nathan
Alright, so he said it. He’d already decided earlier if he got the chance he’d go for it. Make a move. And Nathan had never been one to hold in what he was feeling, not when it came to this kind of stuff. She was driving him crazy. The longer he stood there with his arms around her, taking in the enthralling fragrance of her hair, the more insane it was making him. Feeling what felt like the perfect-sized breasts pressed against his chest and closing his eyes imagining all the things he’d do to her had him rock hard too.
Nathan was aware that while he insisted this would only be sex—if she agreed to it—it still felt like a risk. Only after holding her that close, his mind had since begun to make another argument. Worst-case scenario, holding her the way he had as they’d danced and admitting what she did to him was as far as she’d allow things to go. Best-case scenario, things could move forward and get so hot the rest of their time here they’d melt the snow away themselves. How bad could that be? Once they were out of there they’d part ways because, regardless of how much he’d enjoy steaming up every window in that cabin, he’d be her rebound sex, but he would not be stupid enough to think he could be more. Not to mention he refused to deal with her best friend and roommate back home. But a few days of unadulterated fun he could definitely do.
As expected, she’d gone taut as his words seemed to sink in, and she said nothing at first. He squeezed his eyes shut when he felt her begin to pull away but then opened them quickly and smiled as their eyes met. “It’s true,” he said with a shrug. “I mean can you blame me? Look at you.”
She finally smiled—timidly—cautiously. “Thank you?” she said, tilting her head.
Nathan couldn’t help but smile. “I hope my admitting this doesn’t make you uncomfortable. I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. You’re absolutely stunning.”
No longer able to restrain himself and since he put it out there so bluntly, Nathan took her in again from top to bottom. Fuck if she wasn’t a sight to behold.
Instead of responding to his last comment, she held onto him a little tighter, taking one shoe off at a time. With an impish smile, she lifted a shoulder and let it drop. “Sorry if this takes from my stunning outfit.”
He shook his head slowly, unable to take his eyes away from hers. “It’s not just the outfit, Anna.” He smirked, looking down at the shoes still in her hand. “I mean don’t get me wrong. Those shoes are hotter than shit, but it’s not just about your looks. It’s everything else too.”
Aiyanna’s eyes widened in obvious surprise, and even Nathan had to gulp back saying more. What the fuck was he doing? Sex, Nathan. That’s the only goal here. In panicked reaction before he made any other impulsive declarations, he took a step forward, glad when she didn’t back off. She was staring at his lips now, apparently feeling what he was feeling too. The moment he saw her lick her lips he took it as an invitation and went for it.
It had to be their circumstances. It had to be that he’d never held off doing something he’d been dying to do for so long that had him feeling what he did when he tasted her lips. It’d only been just over a full day that he’d been around her. But his pounding heart argued that it’d been twenty-four straight hours he’d spent wondering what her lips might taste like. What it’d feel like to devour her mouth finally.
Nathan had kissed enough girls in his lifetime to know all those cheesy movies where the whole room seems to spin around a couple finally getting their first kiss were way off. But it was exactly how it felt. They might be alone in a remote cabin in the middle of nowhere, but they could’ve been in the middle of one of his brother’s sold-out ball games, and he still wouldn’t have heard, seen, or felt anything else but Aiyanna’s lips. He wouldn’t hear anything else but his own thudding heart and the arousing sound of their lips kissing.
This was insanity.
Just as he’d expected, her lips felt soft, full, perfect on his. Even more perfect was how right he’d been about being invited to do this. Not only was she not pulling away, as he’d pulled her closer—tighter against him—she’d dropped the shoes to the floor and brought her arms around his neck. Aiyanna was enjoying this just as much as he was.
A soft moan escaped her as he kissed her even deeper; their tongues tangled in perfect harmony. Not too fast. Not too slow. Not too crazed—yet. But Nathan could already feel himself coming undone. Hearing her soft moans and feeling her breathing accelerate weren’t helping either.
He leaned against the counter, bringing her with him as he separated his legs so she’d be even closer to what he wanted her to feel now. She leaned her body against his, gasping the moment he knew she felt just how much further he’d be willing to take this if she was.
It was the only moment her tongue slowed, and she finally pulled her lips away from him, breathing heavily as she continued to stare at his lips. He didn’t say a word as she stayed there, still pressed against his very obvious erection now. When she dove right back into their kissing without so much as pulling even slightly away, he picked her up.
Again she didn’t protest, instantly wrapping her legs around him as he began walking into the front room. For a moment, he thought of stopping at the sofa but then thought, Fuck it. She seemed willing enough, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could go without needing to be inside her, so he headed to the bedroom instead.
He let her down slowly onto the bed, never once removing his lips from her even as he lay down over her. His hands roamed down the side of her torso onto her thighs. It was only then that he felt a little resistance, and he reminded himself to slow the fuck down. But she made him feel completely feral. It was just the circumstances and how long it’d been since he’d been laid. Note taken. He’d never go this long without sex again. But that’s all this was.
Aiyanna finally pulled her mouth away from his. “Nathan,” she whispered hoarsely.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered back, bringing his hands to her chin instead of where they’d begun to roam and kissed her again softly. “I’ll slow it down,” he said, praying she didn’t end this.
He’d gladly kiss her all night if that’s all she wanted. He just didn’t want her to stop this now. Nathan hadn’t had nearly enough of her mouth yet. Changing his approach, he trickled soft kisses down her chin and her neck, sucking the delicious taste of her skin gently. Aiyanna arched her back, moaning softly in response, making him smile.
“You like that?” he asked then did it again.
A breathless, “Yes,” followed by even more squirming and more arching of her back, was her only response.
Slowly he worked down her neck, glad the plunging neckline offered enough skin for him to kiss his way down so much lower. “Nathan,” she said again as he ran his hand down her breasts over her dress.
He stopped short of squeezing them since he sensed her resistance again. “We’ll only go as far as you want,” he said, moving his kisses back up toward her neck again. “I promise.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” she said, making him smile again, and his heart beat even wilder.
Only there was something niggling at him now. Could he really do this? Was Aiyanna really like all the other girls he’d been with and walked away from so effortlessly? He gulped, listening, a little less excited about what she was saying and a little more anxious.
“It’s just that . . .” She paused and he slowed the kisses on her neck. “There’s something you should know.”
Instantly, he pulled his face away from her. “What?”
The overwhelming jealousy should’ve been his first clue. Was she about to tell him she was going back to her ex or that she really did have feelings for Scott? It shouldn’t matter, but fuck if it
didn’t make him want to jump right off the bed.
Searching her anxious eyes, the insane jealousy turned into anger, but he did his best to conceal it. “What is it?”
“I, um,” she said, furthering his exasperation as he waited, his eyes going from her eyes to her lips and back. “Jace . . .”
Just hearing the name had him pulling away from her and sitting up. She, too, sat up slowly, leaning back on her arm, the look of apprehension on her face only making the anxiety he was feeling double.
“What about him?” he asked, his patience running thin now. “You planning on getting back with him?” She shook her head, her brows furrowing. “You still have feelings for him?”
“No,” she said so unequivocally it calmed him a little but very little.
There were two things freaking him out suddenly, and he wasn’t even sure which alarmed him most: that she was about to say something he wouldn’t even be able to pretend didn’t matter to him or the fact that clearly it did. Maybe his brothers and sisters, who were always going on about everything happening for a reason, were right after all. Maybe it was best she was telling him this now before things went too far.
“Then what?” he said, pissed that he needed to know before he dared touch her again.
“He was going to be my first.” She chewed her bottom lip, as Nathan’s heart continued to hammer away but not in a good way. “As inopportune as the moment Jace’s ex came banging on his door felt, it was actually a good thing. If she hadn’t, we would’ve . . .”
She glanced away, and aside from the slight light of the fireplace coming in from the open doorway, it was hard to see. But Nathan was pretty sure she was blushing again. She certainly seemed hesitant about admitting this—almost embarrassed.
As happy as it made him to think not only had she not slept with her ex, but with anyone, ever, this only complicated matters further. She’d known Nathan no more than twenty-four hours, and she said she was willing to go further? Willing to give him her virginity? A guy who’d stupidly professed to not doing the relationship thing and being one of those guys? Moreover, she was saying she’d be okay with them doing this and going their separate ways
Nathan had to be smart. This was a girl who was going back to the guy she was originally supposed to be here with, someone she’d known for years. If she was willing to do this with Nathan, who she’d only known for a day, no way could he believe she wouldn’t have with Scott.
“You hardly know me, Anna,” he whispered, his heart still beating wildly. “I know it’s not that big a deal these days if you’ve already done this before. But your first time?”
“I don’t think I’ve met anyone who’s ever made me feel the way you do.” She shook her head, sitting up even straighter and leaning against the headboard. “No. I know I never have.”
Whatever expression Nathan was making at that breathtaking moment made her shake her head even more adamantly. “That’s not to say I’d be expecting anything more from you. I understand you don’t do relationships—commitment. It’s just that . . .” She frowned, looking a bit frustrated. “I’m twenty-two now. This whole holding-onto-my-virginity thing and waiting for the perfect guy has gotten so overplayed in my head. It almost feels like a burden I’d rather just get over with. Maybe it’s not something you plan out. Maybe it’s just something that’s meant to happen organically. The guy I so meticulously handpicked because he was everything I thought my first should be turned out to be a total jerk. I mean who am I kidding? Chances are you’re not gonna end up with your first forever anyway, right?” She shrugged again, lowering her voice a little. “Maybe it’s better if I get my first time out of the way with someone who it feels right to give it up to. Let it be about the excitement, rather than someone I think is right on paper.”
Nathan’s heart was still going a mile a minute. But what he was feeling now about this whole thing was all over the place. She’d just dropped a bomb on him, one he should be flattered about. Only if he’d had the slightest hesitation about doing this before, this added so much more weight to that hesitation.
He tried to make light of it by smirking. “So on paper, I’m not a good catch?”
She smiled too, almost as if she was glad he was changing the tone of this conversation. “Actually, from what I know so far, if it weren’t for your no-relationship rule, you’re probably perfect.”
Nathan inched closer until he was close enough to lean his forehead against hers. “Am I?”
The strangest feeling permeated his stomach suddenly. Was this what girls called butterflies? She nodded, smiling just as sweetly as she’d done all night, yet something about seeing her eyes brighten at that moment was so much more beautiful now. Even as whatever was going on in his belly began to swarm out of control, he bit his tongue. As much as it excited him to hear her say she thought he was perfect, he knew he shouldn’t say what insanely he was already thinking: that for her he might be willing to bend his no-relationship rule, if not break it all together.
But one ominous fact still remained. She was fresh off a breakup. Nathan would be her rebound guy. If not that, she’d said it herself. He’d be nothing more than someone she could get this over with.
Giving into the incredible urge to taste her lips again, he licked her bottom lip, closing his eyes as he willed away the unexplainable emotion he felt. This wouldn’t be the first time a girl saw fit to let him take her virginity. But this felt different. As much as his better judgment was screaming it’d be a bad idea to do more, it almost felt as if he should. If he didn’t, then his doing anything with her tonight would be so much more than just the sex he was originally supposed to be giving into. He needed to make sure this remained about lust.
“You taste so good,” he whispered against her lips then sucked her tongue as his heart pounded away. He pulled away, staring into her eyes as he slid his hand down her belly, pulled up her dress, and found the warmth between her legs. “I wanna taste every inch of you.”
Get it straight, he reminded himself even as he devoured her mouth, feeling far more than just the lust he knew he should only be feeling. If you do this, it’s just sex—nothing more.
Chapter 10: Banging in the New Year
Aiyanna
“Are you sure about this?” Nathan asked breathlessly against her lips even as his hand slipped into her panties.
Aiyanna swallowed hard. In a second, he’d know not just how sure but how ready she was for him. “Yes.” She gasped as his finger slid over her slick opening.
“You’re so wet.” He smirked against her lips then kissed her—hard. “But not enough for your first time.”
He pulled away to look her in the eyes as something strange swept through them though he seemed to catch it. A slow wicked grin replaced the strangeness in his expression, and suddenly all Aiyanna saw in his eyes was a smoldering that had her insides going even crazier than they already had been.
His fingers grazing and teasing her slick opening drove her insane. “Anybody ever do this to you?” he said, sliding a finger deep into her.” Aiyanna closed her eyes as her teeth dug into her bottom lip and she shook her head. “Anybody ever lick you down there.”
Feeling her mouth fall open, she tried to recover from what his question did to her. Only she was still too scandalized to do more than close her mouth and shake her head again. His fingers continued to play with her, and it made her squirm. She’d done so much damn research in preparation for her first time with Jace she knew all about the kinds of awkward faces feeling so aroused might have her making. Each time his finger slicked over that perfect spot, she knew she was that much closer to embarrassing herself.
Instead, she inhaled deeply, closing her eyes, unable to control her arching back as his fingers continued to work their magic. A moan escaped her as he circled the tip of one of his fingers just so. It was electrifying. Then he slipped a second one in and she moaned outright.
“You’re so damn tight.”
Aiyanna opened
her eyes, expecting to see the same smoldering gaze he wore earlier. Instead, a hint of unease flickered in his eyes.
“Real tight,” he said as if she might not be aware. “Does this hurt?”
He slid his finger in deeper, staring at her very closely. While there was the slightest discomfort, it felt too damn good to complain. Sinking her teeth into her bottom lip, she shook her head, spreading her legs wider before he could change his mind about this like she was beginning to think he might.
Unlike most virgins her age, who at this point might’ve experimented with other things—dildos or vibrators—the only thing she’d ever been penetrated with were her own fingers. While the thought of having what she could already feel bulging through his pants inside her made her the slightest bit anxious, it also excited her to no end.
The more time she spent with Nathan, the more convinced that this sexy beast of a man was definitely any girl’s dream first. Aiyanna would just set her feelings aside and let this happen. She’d be insane to pass this up, and she knew, now that she’d experienced his mind-blowing kisses, she’d regret it forever if she didn’t do this.
Nathan slipped in a second finger again, and this time there was a little more discomfort. Aiyanna tensed a bit as he continued to slip it in slowly. “I’m a lot bigger than this,” he whispered against her ear. “You’ll need to be a lot wetter for me.”
He pulled away from her suddenly, and his fingers were gone, leaving her gasping. Was he stopping? Had he changed his mind? How much wetter could she be? She already felt soaked down there.
“Take off your dress,” he said as he began unbuttoning and pulling his shirt off. “I want you completely naked. I know it’s cold, but that won’t be for long.”
Aiyanna gulped, not sure what was happening, but she complied, undoing her zipper and slipping out of her dress quickly. She watched as he walked over to the bedroom door and opened it all the way. “Not enough,” he said then walked out.