* * *
The Ocean Pearl was about to arrive in Christchurch and long before she docked Albert called Sofia, Carla and Mary and invited them to have breakfast with him in the buffet at five thirty in the morning. Keira was spared because she had been on duty all night.
Sofia arrived there still yawning. Mary seemed to be wide awake and Carla looked like a zombie.
“Can you please explain why we are up at stupid o’clock?” Sofia asked and Albert gave her his best triumphant smile.
“Because it’s a beautiful day and we should watch sunrise together”. He answered with a smirk.
“Are you still jet lagged?” Stifling another yawn, Carla checked her watch.
“No. I’m back in shape.”
“I was afraid of that.”
After breakfast, they went to the front of the ship, above the bridge and observed the sunrise like Albert wanted. The ship was approaching port and sailing slow, which made the wind easy to bear. It was a bit cold and they shivered a little but turned out that Albert had been right and the view was fantastic. On the left, the mountain peaks showed their majesty and behind the ship the blue sea became bluer as the sun raised higher up in the clear, cloudless sky.
Sofia was glad she had her camera and they took a number of pictures together. She knew they would only be together temporarily and wanted to have the memories well kept. As the girls posed and Albert pressed the button the ship made her final entry into the port and within a few minutes they made a full stop and the gangways were prepared so that people could go ashore.
“See, wasn’t it a good idea to get you out of bed early?” Albert asked smugly.
“Getting out of bed early should be against the law. But this is beautiful.” Carla admitted.
“Many people work on ships for years and they never make their way here to enjoy a moment like this. They watch the sunsets not realizing the sunrises are a lot more mesmerizing.” Albert said.
“That’s because they understand the concept of precious sleep.” Carla retorted, yawning one more time.
“I am happy that we came up here today. This is stunning.” Sofia affirmed happily.
“And later on I’m going fishing with the captain.” Albert added.
“Really?”
“Yes. We are out of here by eleven and we’re going to get a big, big fish.”
Mary glanced at him. “Are you going to bring the big fish onboard so we can cook it?”
“Of course not.” He said. “I’m going to take a picture and throw the fish back in the water.”
“What’s the point then?”
“The point is the fun of it. Big fish are hard to get. They fight a lot. We do it because we like the struggle.” He explained.
Mary gave him a wry look. “Men!”
“Would you like to come with us?” He invited sarcastically.
“No. I would probably kick your arse. I’m going on a boat ride and see the penguins.”
A moment later Sofia was called by Denise and she was seriously concerned when her friend told her about the previous night.
When the medical center closed the doors that morning Sofia paged Diego. He didn’t ask questions over the phone but it wasn’t difficult to guess why she wanted to talk to him.
Diego came into the medical center and walked slowly through her open door. She smiled warmly and invited him to sit on the chair across from her desk.
“Hi Diego, thanks for coming.”
“Hi. I’m guessing this is about Denise.” He started.
“Yes. She called me this morning. I need you to describe what happened last night.” Sofia asked, with his girlfriend’s file opened in from of her on the desk.
“What do you want to know? If she called you she must have told you already.”
“She did. But in this case I think you’re in better shape to give an accurate report than she is.”
Diego nodded. “All right. I was in the wardroom and she paged me. She sounded very stressed and I could hear she was having trouble breathing. I ran to the cabin and when I arrived she was crying compulsively and it was like the air wasn’t reaching her lungs.” He summarized.
Sofia took some notes. “What did you do?”
“I held her, put my hand on her thorax and helped her follow my rhythm until she was breathing normally again.”
“How long did that last?”
“I’m not sure, but it wasn’t long. I asked her if she wanted me to call you but she said no and I didn’t think it was a good idea to upset her more.”
“It’s okay, you did the right thing. Diego, do you have any idea if she ever had this before?”
“She said she did, but it was long ago. She’s been pretty tired and nervous but I’ve never seen her like that.” Diego added.
Sofia took her eyes of her notes and looked at him. “Do you have any idea why she might be having panic attacks?”
“She says she doesn’t know, but it seems pretty obvious to me. She’s been having a horrible contract and I think that situation yesterday with Rebecca probably trigged it.”
Sofia pursed her lips in deep thought. “What about you? What impact do you think you are having in her emotional balance?”
Diego paused and then told her he didn’t know. She believed him. He didn’t have the sensibility to understand someone like Denise, so it was only natural that he couldn’t figure out what was going on with her.
“Soon you will finish your contract and as far as I can tell that will also be the end for you and Denise. Don’t you think that adds to her stress?” She tried to make him think.
“Maybe.” He admitted. “I really don’t know what to do with her. Denise thinks too much, she worries too much. Everything is a big deal for her. No wonder she gets stressed!”
Sofia pulled her chair from behind the desk and sat in front of him. “Diego, you are a very intelligent guy, so think about this. Yes, Denise is stressed because of work, but don’t you see that she’s also hurting because she knows she’s going to lose you?”
She could see his muscles stiffen.
“Maybe she is, but that’s not my fault. You can think whatever you want about me but I’m not the cold son of a bitch who wants to hurt Denise. I care about her and I never wanted to hurt her.” He justified.
Sofia half smiled.
“You’re not a cold son of a bitch. A selfish bastard maybe, but let’s not be too dramatic. I understand that sometimes things don’t go as we expect. But now it’s one of those moments when you need to think about what you can do. If Denise goes on like this, as her doctor I will get her medically disembarked before she gets a nervous breakdown. This has gone far enough already. Now tell me, what kind of man are you going to be from now on?”
Diego felt nervous and uncomfortable. “What do you suggest I do?” His brown eyes scrutinized the room like he was expecting for some secret door to open so he could escape.
“First of all, you can start being there for her. Try to spend less time playing with your friends and play with her instead, if you know what I mean. Second, let me know how she goes. She won’t tell me because I informed her that if she has another attack I’ll send her home. For the sake of her health I need to know everything.”
“Sure. I’ll keep you on the loop. Just tell me one thing. If I become that nice boyfriend you think I should be, don’t you think it will be harder for Denise to say goodbye to me? Won’t that hurt her more?”
“Normally I would agree with you, but on ships normal doesn’t apply. Denise is already hurt. She’s getting a broken heart no matter what. I’m not sure why she didn’t break up with you yet, but if she needs you that much, being a decent boyfriend until the end of your contract will make her life a bit better. When you leave I’ll see what I can do, as her friend and as her doctor.” Sofia clarified.
Diego realized there was nothing else to say and got ready to leave. Before he opened the door he turned around and looked at her one more time.
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“Sofia, I know you think I’m a crappy boyfriend, but I really wish things had been different.”
Sofia glanced at him with her big green eyes. “Diego, YOU ARE a crappy boyfriend, and it doesn’t matter what you wish or don’t wish. Like I told you before, it’s what you do and not what you say that defines who you are.” She replied a bit more bitterly than she wanted to. “But I do appreciate you as a friend.” She added.
After he left, Sofia put the chair back where it belong and took some time to think. It was hard to talk to Diego like that. She actually liked him and it was difficult to lecture someone who she loved as a friend, but it was time someone gave him a wakeup call.
21
Thanks to her solid friendship with the tour office manager, Sofia had a tour in Hobart.
Despite docking in Tasmania every cruise, she had only been off the ship once in that port and only to have lunch in the popular district of Salamanca. Something always got on the way: drills, trainings or too much work frequently ruined her chances to see the home of the famous Tasmanian Devil.
This time Sofia made sure to get time off. When she arrived in the meeting point she found a familiar face.
“Hello night manager! Going on tour?”
Ian smiled and kissed her blushed cheeks. “There has to be something good about working all night.”
They compared tour tickets and realized they were on the same tour. With some sweet talk, Ian convinced the tour operator to let them travel together on the last bus, which only carried twenty passengers so there was plenty of room left.
History told that Port Arthur used to be a settlement started as a timber station in 1830 but everyone knew the place for being a prison. From 1833 until the 1850’s it was the destination for the hardest convicted British and Irish criminals and it was known as not much better than going straight to hell.
“So, I ask for a nice tour in Hobart and she sends me to jail.” Sofia observed with a mocking grin.
“That’s Natalie. She always knows how to make us feel special.”
The guide went on explaining that the peninsula where Port Arthur was located was a naturally secured site, almost completely surrounded by water, and rumor had it, infested by sharks. There was a strip of land only thirty meters wide uniting the peninsula to the mainland, and that used to be fenced and guarded by soldiers and hungry dogs. It was almost impossible for prisoners to escape.
After the closure of the penal colony in 1877 the area was renamed Carnavan. During the 1880’s the site and the land surrounding it were sold and a community established there. In 1895 and 1897 devastating fires destroyed many old buildings, but the new residents, despite the difficulties, strived and created a township.
After the settlement’s closure, tourism took over. With many people eager to see the horrors of the penal station, there was a new opportunity for business. Tourists brought a new source of income to the residents and by 1927 it had grown into a great local industry and the name was changed to Port Arthur.
“Always the bling, bling.” Ian murmured as they went into what was left of the main building.
When they saw more of Port Arthur, Sofia started to think that maybe Natalie was right after all. The place was beautiful, peaceful and there was a certain nostalgia scent perfuming the air. The grounds were much wider than she was expecting. It could take easily two days to do a complete tour.
Ian spent some time taking pictures of the buildings by the water with a very nice new SLR camera and made some great shots of Sofia who was happy to pose with the fabulous landscape behind.
He sat next to her on a big rock by the waterfront and showed her the pictures in the small screen of his camera.
“Beautiful.” Sofia said sincerely. “For a gay guy it’s incredible how you capture the best of a woman.”
“I might be gay, but I’m not blind. Besides, I love women.” Ian replied.
“How does that work?”
“I love women for many reasons. You girls have some amazing qualities. I just don’t like you in a sexual way, you know.”
She nodded negatively. “No idea. My mind is a bit basic on things like that. I’m still trying to understand that guys can like other guys and girls other girls. It’s too much sand for my little truck.”
Ian burst in laughter. Sofia took a bottle of water from her bag and drank half.
“Have you ever had a girlfriend?” She asked.
“Sure. Until five years ago I was on a long term relationship with a lovely lady. We broke up before I joined the ships.” He confirmed.
Sofia stared at him and didn’t hide her surprise.
“So you’re a recently converted gay.”
“If you want to put it that way…”He chuckled.
“That’s very confusing. How did that happen?”
“It’s not a religion that you can convert to. I was always different. Coming to the ships simply helped me to define who I really am.” He tried to explain, not very successfully.
“Could be, but the more I see onboard, the more I believe that being gay is fashion.”
“There are some cases, others are real.” Ian replied. “I do remember this engineer about a year ago that came onboard dating a Spa girl and left dating one of the housekeeping boys.”
“Seriously?”
He nodded affirmatively.
“If I were that girl I would have killed him!” Sofia said, imagining the humiliation the poor girl must have felt. “Only on ships!”
“Only on ships!” Ian snickered.
The next part of the tour was a ferry crossing, followed by a thirty minute walking tour of the Isle of the Dead. Like the name suggested, the Isle was a cemetery. It was where all of those who died in the prison camps got buried.
Sofia looked around and meditated on death and how with time people who died and were once loved ended up being forgotten; even the names on the gravestones faded away and eventually it would be as if they had never existed.
People lived, people died and everything was gone without a trace, just like her father. He had been a man who left marks. He had left a prosperous company, a scattered family and an image that wasn’t always positive. But he was a man who did things, wrong or right. His legacy still existed and it would likely exist for a while longer but in time it would disappear just like he did. What little was left of his body was buried on the ground the same way anonymous people were once buried in the isle where she was standing, and he too would be forgotten. Everybody would be forgotten. The thought made her gloomy until Ian diverted her attention with his easy talk.
On the ferry back, they heard someone say that Port Arthur was known for cases of haunting and ghosts.
Ian and Sofia looked at each other and grimaced. “So, prison followed by cemetery… interesting.”
“Yes it is. The Australians are almost as good at recycling places into tourist attractions as the Irish.” Sofia affirmed.
“How come?”
“In Dublin they converted an old church and an old bank into popular bars.” She explained.
“They put a bar in a church building?”
“Yes. In Ireland, anywhere is good to be a bar. The Church Bar is actually one of my favorites. Amazing place, great atmosphere.”
Ian giggled at the idea. “I’ll add that to my list next time I’m there.”
Back on land they had another walk around and took some more pictures with the sun in a position that made the water look like a flat golden mirror.
By half four in the afternoon they found the guide sitting outside the Broad Arrow Café, having a bottle of sparkling water. She was alone, waiting for the time to take the group back to the ship. Ian and Sofia sat with her and ordered some refreshments and snacks.
During their conversation the guide told them that on Sunday 28th of April 1996 a nut case armed himself with three automatic guns and killed thirty five people right there.
“He had a meal here, on this same deck and
then took out a rifle and began shooting. In ninety seconds he killed twenty people and injured another twelve. Then he moved to the parking lot, killed a few more there, got on his stolen car, drove north and in front of a store he killed another person, took a hostage and later killed the hostage too. The police got him, but his death toll was thirty five murders plus many injured.” The guide described with sadness in her eyes.
“I think I remember that. It was all over the news.”
“I remember it too, but I didn’t know it was here.” Ian said, looking around and imagining all those dead bodies and the panic and desperation people must have felt.
“I’ve tried to understand many times what makes a person snap and become a killer. Never got anywhere.” The guide said dryly.
Sofia nodded in agreement. “I don’t think we will ever understand. Nearly three years ago someone put a bomb underneath my father’s car and blew him out.” Sofia revealed, surprised with herself for telling that to a stranger and a colleague.
Ian and the guide stared at her. “Your father was murdered?”
“Yes, he was.”
“Why?”
“Could be many reasons. He made a lot of enemies over the years. The police never gathered enough evidence to convict anyone. The process was filed recently. I guess we will never know who killed him.” Sofia explained.
“I’m very sorry for your loss.” The guide replied.
Their conversation was interrupted by a group of happy passengers and Sofia felt relieved. Her father’s death was not a subject she liked talking about. The bus took them back to the ship and Sofia changed into her gym wear and wondered where she was going to find the energy to do a spinning class when her legs were already aching so much.
Ian rushed to his cabin to get as much sleep as he could before his shift started in just a few hours. Getting the day off in port was nice but there was still an entire night of work ahead.
Lying on his bed with a smile on his face, Ian thought about how insane it was to be a crew member. Working every day, sleeping fast or nothing at all, partying like crazy and sharing personal life details with strangers because family and friends were so far away. It was a wild life, but he loved it.
He saw people going home saying they weren’t going to come back all the time. Some of them did, some didn’t. They all had their reasons but every time he thought about it, despite all the issues and all the challenges, he couldn’t find a single reason to look for another life style when the one he had made him so happy.
His thoughts circled through his previous contracts and he recalled with joy the friends he had made, the people he had the privilege to work with, the incredible places where otherwise he probably would never have gone, the legendary crew bar parties, the insane corridor parties, cabin parties and other sorts of parties… Being a crew member always felt like being in a different dimension and for Ian, a much nicer one. It was on the cruise ships that he found the most incredible friends a person could ask for and where he also found an interesting, unusual and fulfilling way of living.
He was perfectly aware that ship’s life didn’t work well for everybody, but as long as it worked for him, he would go on enjoying life onboard.