* * *
After two days at sea the entire ship’s company was dreaming of the four mile beach in Port Douglas the following day. For the ones who wouldn’t have a chance to go ashore it was a torture; for the lucky ones it was a few hours in paradise with white sand, lukewarm water and cool drinks under the shinning sun. Sofia managed to get a few hours off thanks to the generosity of the senior doctor who had been everywhere and wasn’t much into the beach thing.
Denise, on the other hand, was doing back office cover and couldn’t go anywhere.
“I don’t get the point of working on a ship if you don’t have time to go ashore and enjoy the ports. I guess you’re not here for the great salary they pay you, right?” Sofia enquired when they stretched in the gym later in the evening. It wasn’t the first time she asked her friend why she was still there but until that moment she had never heard a straight answer.
“I work nearly three hundred hours a month and get paid in American dollars. If I did those hours in Switzerland I would make three times more money. So no, money has nothing to do with me being here.” She replied stretching her legs and graciously pushing her muscles to the limit.
“So why are you here then? You’re clearly not very happy.”
“I guess two things keep me here: my boyfriend and my pride, in that order. I could let go of the pride considering that I work with the worst team ever and my supervisors suck, but I don’t want to let go of Diego yet.”
Sofia couldn’t help admiring her. Being that determined in the middle of so many problems had to take a lot of strength and she wondered if Denise was aware of the extraordinary person she actually was. “Are the other ships like this too or you were really unlucky this time?”
“If all ships were like this I wouldn’t have survived my first contract. This is the worst I’ve ever seen. The people make the ship and the management here is really bad. It looks like they picked up the crappiest people they could find on the pursers department and dumped them all here to make my life hell. It’s impossible to motivate my guys to work harder when I have to drag myself to work every day.” Denise sighed.
Sofia was on a mattress playing with a two pound weight. “How were the other ships where you worked before?”
“Pretty great. Of course there are always people you don’t get along with, but here it’s unbelievable. I had a great time on my previous contracts.”
“Sometimes all it takes is one person to ruin a team.” Sofia observed.
“In my case all it takes is one team to ruin a person: me!”
Sofia chuckled. “Don’t be unfair. I remember you saying you had two good receptionists left. It’s better than none.”
“Yes, one is going home in Sydney and I’ve done my best to avoid for Sonya to resign. Leah decided to keep her on the front desk when she’s the most experienced and hard working person we have there. For Leah it’s a way to keep someone good in the reception, but for Sonya it’s a punishment. The girl is very depressed and it’s been hard to convince her to stay. But at least for the moment I have someone I can rely on.”
With some time left before it was too late for dinner, the two friends changed into their bikinis and went to the Jacuzzi for a few minutes just to relax their muscles.
“Did I tell you there’s a crew disco tonight?” Denise asked.
“What is a crew disco?”
“They lower the lights in the crew bar and get someone to play music like a DJ so that everyone can pretend they’re in a club somewhere and dance like maniacs until the night manager shows up around two in the morning and closes the whole thing down. Most people dress up like they’re going out on a Saturday night and sometimes crew discos are thematic. Tonight is Welcome to Australia disco and I know some people are going to come up with costumes. Ian and Anne were arranging hats with corks and I heard some of the dancers are going to dress up as aborigines.” Denise explained.
“Seems like fun. Tell me more.” Sofia was interested in anything she hadn’t seen yet.
“Crew discos are also a wonderful opportunity for those looking to get laid, to make new friends and to consume ridiculous amounts of alcohol and wake up with a gigantic hangover the next morning. Something tells me that half my receptionists will be missing on the early shift tomorrow.” Denise added to the description. That only made Sofia more enthusiastic.
“Why do I have the feeling you don’t particularly like crew discos?”
“I don’t. They start too late which means I won’t get my precious seven hours of beauty sleep, and smoking is allowed so you can imagine the place after one hour. It’s hard to breathe. Last time I went to one even my underwear smelled like cigarettes.”
“Well, I’ve never been so I think we should go tonight. What time does it start?” Sofia asked already thinking of what would be appropriate to wear.
“Never before midnight. Do we really have to go?” Denise pouted.
“Yes. If you don’t go with me I’ll get bored and if you come you can see who your guys are hanging out with and you might find which cabins to call if they are missing tomorrow morning.” Sofia concluded, not willing to take a no for an answer.
Denise looked at her with resignation. “All right, you win.”
On ships, the only thing that changes a lot is the landscape. Everything else remains pretty much the same cruise after cruise, day after day and it didn’t take long for Sofia to understand that.
The wardroom was full like in any other night, and like any other night, the faces were the same. Even the bartender was always the usual friendly Filipino with the spiky hair and a teenage face, even though he was twenty six. Sometimes in uniform, other times wearing their own clothes, some days in a good mood other just tired and annoyed, every day the people were the same, the talks were around the same subjects and even the music playing didn’t change that much.
In the usual corner Diego, Aaron, Ian and one of the receptionists whose name Sofia couldn’t remember, played darts and drank beers. In the middle section there were a few pursers, some cruise staff members ready to go back to passenger areas and do their thing and the production manager, all chatty and cheerful. On the other side, by the exit door the engineers sat in a circle by a table where the sparkling water bottles and the uniforms meant they were on watch that night. As soon as Denise and Sofia walked in, a number of heads turned in their direction.
Denise was what was called off the market, but as far as ship’s gossip went the baby doc was not taken yet and that would be a catch. Someone that pretty and with all those stripes is well worth the investment. That was what she understood from the conversation in Italian that went on while she walked towards the bar.
“Single doesn’t mean available, and don’t bother with the investment.” She answered loud enough so that the entire crowd in the room heard. “And yes, I do understand Italian.” She added to the embarrassment of the officer who had made the comment.
Everyone stopped what they were doing to laugh at the poor guy, who looked like he could use somewhere to hide but his humiliation only lasted a few seconds because Aaron managed to hit the bartender’s arm with a dart and everyone turned to him to make sure the damage wasn’t extensive.
“Good thing we have a doctor in the house.” Someone murmured.
Sofia checked the arm and it was only a scratch that she quickly disinfected and put a bandage on. Aaron apologized a million times for not paying attention to what he was doing and everything went back to the same except that his playing companions wouldn’t stop mocking him for a good while. He knew they wouldn’t let that go for a few weeks and prepared his mind to accept their scornful comments.
Sofia liked the hats with the corks she saw in the wardroom. The Australians in the room explained that the idea was to keep insects away and eventually it became one of the symbols of the country.
Amy told a story about meeting some strange character in Ayers Rock years before and the conversation moved on to h
er saying she had no intention to go to the crew bar because her husband finished his shift at midnight and spending time with her hubby was far more interesting than some stupid disco full of smoke.
“Amy, do you think your husband would show me the bridge one of these days? I was only there very briefly and didn’t get to see it well.” Sofia asked.
“Of course. I’ll talk to him and we can arrange some time for you to go up for a guided visit.” She replied cordially.
Sofia saw David and sat next to him on a tall chair by the bar.
“Look at this. It must be my lucky night. Can I offer you a drink my dear?” He asked with a gentle smile.
“Hello SETO, nice to see you too. I’ll have an orange juice, thank you.”
“No alcohol?” He asked surprised.
“Not for me. I know people drink a lot around here but I have to be smarter than that. We never know what can happen, right?” She still remembered her hangover after New Year’s Eve very well.
He nodded. “Very true. And you doctors need to give the example.”
Sofia laughed, enjoying his company perhaps because being older and married she knew he joked but it was all for fun and she had nothing to worry about. She had a good feeling about David.
“Are you coming to the disco?”
“Hell no!” He said immediately. “Someone would have to pay me a huge bonus for that.”
“Is it that bad?”
“I will let you draw your own conclusions but I’ve been at sea long enough to know where I don’t want to be.”
“So where are you going to spend the night?”
“Is that an invitation?” He replied teasing.
“Just curiosity…”
“My son sent me a new computer game. That’s the plan for tonight. The fellow wants to beat me next time I go home and I have to show him that his old man can still kick his skinny butt. Then the plan after a few hours of sleep is to anchor the ship safely so you can go and enjoy the beach. Duty before pleasure my dear.”
A few minutes past midnight a group of nine made their way forward and took the elevator to deck eight. There were only a few people in the crew bar. For the majority of the crew, it was still early. The advantage of that was being able to find a good seat; there were not many available and the layout of the room made it hard to sit a big group together. Ian took a piece of paper and started taking orders. Diego went with him to the bar to help him bring the drinks.
“Do you know there are people making jokes about if Diego is dating you or Ian?” Sofia asked to her friend’s ear as her boyfriend walked past the side door.
“I heard that, yes. People are stupid and mean. Ship’s gossip. It seems like entertainment isn’t good enough onboard so they need a few extras to fill in their empty lives.”
“People can be very cruel…” Sofia remembered when Carla told her that a few days earlier.
“And unfair. I don’t listen to them but over the years I’ve seen people signing off because of things like that. Not everyone lives well knowing the others say evil things about them behind their backs. Diego normally tells me everything he hears, before anyone else does. I never got upset over gossip because until now he never gave me any reason not to trust him. My boyfriend is far from being what I would like him to be, but until the day he lies to me I will never give any credit to other people’s wild imagination. One of these days they’ll start saying I’m dating you as well, just give it some time.” Denise replied and Sofia chuckled.
The guys came back with two trays of drinks and distributed them on the small table in the center. More people arrived and by half past midnight the room was full and the dance music started blasting on the speakers.
Sofia noticed the different groups that took shape here and there. By the main entrance Filipinos, mostly housekeeping and cleaning staff. Next to them the eastern European waiters, some of them still in uniforms because the restaurants had closed recently; across the room, the Spa team wearing a ton of makeup and leaving very little to imagination with their reduced clothing. Behind them a smaller group formed by some photographers, shop staff and random crew that she didn’t even recognize. The biggest group was hers.
A few Mexicans took over the dance floor and soon people from all different groups followed, with the Spa girls in the center where they believed they belonged and where everybody could observe their exposed legs and deep cleavages. Shortly after, their competition arrived as the dancers made their entrance wearing very interesting aboriginal costumes and body paintings that left even less to imagination. They went straight to the dance floor and mingled with everyone who was already there giving a certain glow to the party.
“What’s with the dancers and the Spa? Is there a competition to see who wears the smallest belt?” Sofia asked, referring to the skirts.
“Almost. The Spa girls wear those tiny pieces of fabric because they like to show off and the dancers like to show off even more and since they have nice bodies they seem to believe we all need to have a closer look.” Diego explained.
“Oh, come on, don’t be mean.” Ian protested from his corner. “Some of them look very nice”.
“Very nice and very naked. If my girlfriend ever wears something like that she can go look for another date.” He replied.
Denise kissed him lightly. “No worries on that matter. I like to keep decency and respect at reasonable levels. Competing with Spa’s and dancers is not in my plans.”
“They are no match for you.” Diego murmured in a subtle moment that passed unnoticed to most people, but not to Sofia’s sharp eyes. Part of being a good doctor was being a good observer.
The other thing Sofia’s sharp eyes didn’t miss was the amount of gay people. She had heard about it before, that cruise ships are a gay world, but it was only that particular night that she realized there were so many and so open about their sexuality. Many were seating nearly on each other’s laps, cuddling and in some of occasions even kissing, which she found inappropriate, not that she would ever find appropriate for straight couples to make out in public either. Some things should simply stay behind doors where they belong.
Ian noticed her discomfort and tried to explain that it was easy for gays to live onboard ships because there is a good acceptance from the other crew. In many places gay people are still seen as abnormal but on ships most people don’t really care and treat them as equals, which he found fair considering they worked as hard as anyone else and it was nobody’s business who they slept with.
Sofia understood what Denise was talking about when she mentioned the opportunities for getting laid. Several crew members seemed to get together and dance in ways that didn’t really strike as simple friendship. In Sofia’s world friends didn’t rub against each other like that and their hands didn’t touch each other’s body parts in such explicit ways. The excessive drinking was also evident. Normally there was a lot of drinking going on any night; on a crew disco the big only got bigger. There were still some left who were there just to socialize a bit after a long day of work, the ones who could keep a decent conversation and didn’t drink too much because they were aware of the responsibility they carried.
“The officers who have their own cabin always have better chances. For those who share a cabin things can get complicated, especially if the roommate doesn’t like the extra company.” Denise pointed out.
“Are you saying that people take someone else to sleep with them when the roommate is in the cabin?” She asked in astonishment.
“Yes, a lot of them do.”
“You’re joking!”
“No, my dear. Before I got promoted when I had to share my cabin, one day I came from the beach and my roommate’s curtains were closed around the bed. She slept on the top bunk and I didn’t even know if she was in the room. When I opened the door to the bathroom to have a shower before work I found this bartender she had been sleeping with wearing my bath towel around his waist.”
“That’s unb
elievable. How can people invade somebody else’s privacy like that?”
“They don’t have a choice. Some crew take their boyfriend or girlfriend to sleep in a tiny single bed in a room they share with someone else because that’s the only option they have. I know it sounds insane but when both share a room, privacy doesn’t exist.”
“And the roommates accept that?” Sofia enquired imagining a few different ways of killing someone who did that to her.
“Some do, some don’t. I never accepted it because my room is the only space on a ship where I get a bit of freedom and it’s bad enough to share it with someone else. Not to mention that those cabins are already small for two.”
“That’s totally surreal. I would never come to work here if I had to share a room with a stranger, much less adding a stranger’s boyfriend.”
“Most crew onboard share a room. Many work here for years and they never get their own cabin. It’s like everything else here, a matter of rank. To give you a better idea, if two waiters are legally married, they are still given separate cabins, she shares with a girl and he shares with a guy. The company doesn’t give them a private cabin because berthing is arranged by gender and that would create them logistic issues. But for example Amy and her husband, who are both officers, get one private cabin each even though they only need one. As long as they are both onboard one of their cabins is empty.”
“This ranking thing goes way beyond ridiculous sometimes. Why wouldn’t they give a private cabin to a couple who are legally married?”
“Because it’s easier for them not to. Crew can accept it or get a job ashore. Their choice.” Denise concluded and Sofia realized that the more she learned, the weirder things seemed and she felt relieved that a lot of that weirdness didn’t affect her directly.
7
The beach. A wonderful glorious day with a deep cloudless blue sky and warm sun. Sofia sunbathed and mumbled a word once in a while, feeling like she was floating in the outer space. It felt good. Kieran played with Jamie. They built castles but the sand was not wet enough and the wind kept blowing everything away. Every time one construction was ruined, Kieran looked at the shapeless pile of sand pretending to be displeased and Jamie laughed his childish happy laughter. He took the plastic bucket and ran to get more water to mix with the sand. Another castle was on the way.
Sofia glanced at them, sluggish. She moved unhurriedly and turned on her back to get the tan even. She could hear Jamie’s laughter on the background as she snoozed.
A scream. She opened her eyes in panic. Kieran was running towards the water. Jamie!
It all happened in seconds. Kieran got distracted looking at his stunning girlfriend. Jamie disappeared. Jamie died.
Sofia woke up in tears and it took her a minute to understand it was a nightmare. Only it wasn’t. Jamie was dead. But it wasn’t Kieran’s fault. It was no one’s fault he was sick…
She dragged herself out of bed slowly and had a cold shower, still with Jamie’s laugher sounding in her mind. A sound she would never hear again.
A chat with the tour office manager granted Sofia a ticket to the tour of the Great Barrier Reef. The day started with a big drama because a catamaran broke and one of the departures had to be cancelled. The tour office was hammered with complaints from angry passengers, but Sofia’s departure was still on and early morning she arrived in the catamaran, trying hard to put the images that woke her up away from her mind.
Sofia was the only crew member on that passenger’s tour and she found it of good sense to keep that information to herself. The last thing she wanted was to get medical and ship’s questions in the middle of her day off. With her cap, sun glasses and white bikini contrasting with her tanned skin, she looked just like any tourist on the boat that took the group to the platform above the reef.
The day was hot, the temperature of the water was perfect and Sofia put on the snorkeling gear and jumped in. Snorkeling in shallow clean waters, surrounded by corals and all kinds of sea life was breathtaking, almost unreal.
Sofia saw colored fish of all sizes and shapes, a turtle and even what looked like a shark swimming away, keeping its distance. The sun coming from above gave the water an impossible shade of blue beautifully enhanced by the rainbow of color from the corals and fish.
Spending a day in such a splendid place was far from being enough but Sofia found those few hours in the underwater Garden of Eden a great reward. It was not every day that someone had the opportunity to swim in the largest reef in the world, constituted by more than 2800 coral reefs altogether. She appreciated and enjoyed every minute spent in such a magnificent place.
There was an observatory in the platform and she stayed there for a while, escaping the dangerous sun. Someone said that Australia was the worst place possible to be under the sun because the ozone layer there was nearly gone. Sofia was under the impression that the gap in the ozone layer was not over one particular location, but independently of that being true or not, sunscreen was mandatory unless one wanted to add to the skin cancer statistics. Sofia already had a fair share of cancer tragedies in her life.
Before going back she took one last swim in the rich waters and admired one more time the stunning underwater world so that the images of beauty and perfection could last longer in her memory. She thought of how fragile all that was and of how much damage was being caused to those natural treasures. What a pity it would be if the future generations missed it.
By five o’clock when she was in her cabin again, Sofia couldn’t help feeling regret for the crew members that never had a day off. For them, being in the Great Barrier Reef, docked in Brooklyn or on the moon itself was only a matter of geography. She felt blessed for the opportunity she had to see such wonderful places.
After a while in the wardroom Sofia, Carla and a few pursers relocated to the officer’s mess for dinner and took over a big round table. Denise didn’t mind Ian and Anne, but she wasn’t very happy to share the table with Leah so she sat on the farthest seat where she didn’t have to look at her supervisor’s face. Sofia took a seat next to her friend and Diego found a spot next to Ian so they could continue their conversation about cars and engines. Everybody ordered French onion soup and it was so good that some of them had a second portion instead of a main course.
The conversation was not particularly interesting and the boredom in Carla’s face was clear so Sofia started talking about her exciting day and suddenly everyone had some story about snorkeling, swimming, jumping out of planes or safaris to tell.
Leah was the only one who didn’t share experiences. She opened her mouth only once to say that she hadn’t been out of the ship in two weeks. Carla and Sofia looked at each other with a no wonder she is so miserable expression on their faces.
During dinner they learned that Ian had to disembark a couple in Brisbane because a relative died in California and they had to fly back home. Anne immediately asked which cabin they were in so that she could move someone with a noise complaint. It was just like in animal world: one’s bad luck always turns into another’s lucky day. Turned out that the couple disembarking would leave a balcony cabin free, which was a major upgrade for the other passengers.
Diego made a comment about a fight between two Romanian waiters that afternoon. Both of them were going to be disembarked in Brisbane because the Captain’s standing orders were very clear about crew fighting.
“So tomorrow, they’ll be picking up chicken or beef on the flight home. They’ll go to Bucharest on the same flight. I just hope they don’t have phones onboard the plane.” He mentioned while pouring half the sour cream on his baked potato.
“What’s the problem with the phones?”
“When they were fighting this afternoon one of them threw the phone to the other one’s head. That was when things got really ugly.”
“See, this is what happens when people are stupid.” Ian said. “If you’re going to fight someone at least fight like a man!”
“So, apa
rt from passengers disembarking and crew members fighting, is there anything interesting onboard?” Sofia queried.
“Most of the time, not really.” Ian replied. “Honestly, life on board is not nearly as exciting as many people believe. Once in a while we have a crazy thing to talk about but the average days are pretty standard.”
“But some people stay for years.”
“It is a life style that suit some better than others. Personally I already left twice and both times came back.” He confessed.
Sofia gave him a puzzled look. “It didn’t work out ashore?”
Ian smiled. “It was all right but in the end I realized I was happier onboard so here I am.”
“What about you Diego? Any plans?”
Diego seemed surprised with her question. “I don’t know yet. I thought of leaving and of staying but I haven’t decided anything. If they promote me next contract I will probably stay a while longer.”
Sofia didn’t miss the sadness in Denise’s eyes when she realized that Diego was not even considering her in any of his plans.
After dinner Sofia took some time to reply an email from her mother and read another one from Ailish, giving her an update about life in the hospital and how she had spent two nights in a row sleeping on the x-ray table. Sofia chuckled thinking that was so typical Ailish and moved on to the next email, Kieran’s.
Dear Sofia, where are you? Why don’t you answer my emails? Your mobile is always disconnected. Why did you go away? Is this some kind of punishment? I’m sorry I didn’t show up. There was an emergency, a very bad accident. I had to save the woman and her baby. You understand that, don’t you? A million apologies. Please come back. Love, Kieran.
Sofia felt tears flooding her eyes and she didn’t fight them. I love you too, but sometimes love is not enough, she thought. Kieran wanted answers. Sofia painfully decided not to give them to him. If he really loved her he would find his answers and do something more than writing emails. What good were words without actions?
She meditated on how people talk too much and act too little. Talking is easy. Through words people can create what they want others to think and pretend to be someone they’re not. Anyone can say anything but ultimately, actions define who a person is. It was that belief that gave her strength to go on, to do the right thing.