She shook her head. “None. I told Detective Davies that I thought the guy was going to hurt the girl in the mask, and that was why I told him to let her go. I also told her that we didn’t know who she was. She didn’t push.”
Detective Davies had to suspect me now, especially with Zoe, Anna and Caitlin being involved. Didn’t she?
Zoe continued. “A couple of the male cops gave us a hard time for ‘putting ourselves in danger.’ Davies told them to back off. She said if it weren’t for the three of us—and the Vigilante—those guys would’ve raped that girl.”
I put the things I didn’t need for my first class in my locker and slung my bag over my shoulder as I closed the door. A couple of girls squeezed by us to get into their own lockers. Zoe and I stepped out into the corridor and started walking toward class. “Did they say on the news if the girl is okay?” I asked.
“She was on the news.”
I looked at her in surprise. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. She said she planned to press charges. Apparently the guys slipped something in her drink at a party. She also publicly thanked the Vigilante—and the three of us—for saving her from becoming a statistic. Apparently the college is going to conduct a review into their security since there was supposed to be a car patrolling that area.”
“I’m glad she’s okay.” Glad was an understatement compared to what I felt at that moment. It didn’t make up for me not being there when Magda needed me, but I felt like I had redeemed myself a little bit by saving someone else from going through what she had. “She really thanked the Vigilante?”
She shot me a sly look. “Yeah, she did. I don’t mind telling you that I’m convinced pretty much all guys are shit right now.”
“I know. I’ve seen the Not All Men posts online. There are good guys out there, it’s just hard to see them when you’re just looking for the bad.”
“Lucky for you, you have a good one.” She glanced at me—I saw her head turn out of the corner of my eye. “You don’t have do this alone.”
I nodded. “Thanks.” That was all I was going to say.
“I heard there’s a pit party this weekend. Everyone’s going.”
Anticipation danced to my stomach. “Yeah?” We stopped outside homeroom. By everyone I assumed she meant Adam and Drew and the others. “What time?”
“It starts at nine. We’re going if you want to come along.”
“I might.” She followed me into the classroom. Her desk was the one behind mine. I turned to look at her. “Thanks.”
Her eyes brightened, and I knew she understood that I wasn’t talking about the invitation. “Anytime.”
I turned around. Right then I made up my mind to go to the party, but I wasn’t going to let Zoe or anyone else get tangled up in my actions. My need to avenge Magda wasn’t taking anybody else down with it. I hoped Zoe would forgive me for cutting her out, but I wouldn’t forgive myself if another friend got hurt because I wasn’t paying attention.
* * *
I had homework to finish before going to Gabe’s. I didn’t want to do it, but I also didn’t want it hanging over my head for the weekend. Also, I was procrastinating. I was anxious about seeing him, but the longer I put it off, the more anxious I became, so finally I grew a pair and decided to go. I got to his house shortly after eight.
He answered the door in a T-shirt and jeans. He didn’t look angry, but he didn’t smile, either.
The house was quiet when I stepped inside. “Is your mom working?”
“She and Teresa went to my grandparents’ for the weekend.”
“Oh.” So we were totally alone. Whatever he had to say to me, he didn’t want anyone else to hear it, or see my reaction. Shit. “Look, I know you probably saw video of what happened last night—” I didn’t get a chance to finish, because he took my face in his hands and kissed me. It wasn’t a gentle kiss, either, but hard and urgent—the kind of kiss that made my heart pound and my head swim. The kind of kiss that lit my nerves on fire.
I wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my chest to his. I could feel his muscles beneath his T-shirt, firm and warm beneath my hands.
We were both breathing a little heavy when he pulled back.
“You’re reckless and brave, and I want to be angry at you for putting yourself in danger, but I can’t be mad when you are so fucking incredible.” He kissed me again.
It was like someone opened a window inside me and let the sun in. I kissed him like my life depended on it, and when he started moving us toward the living room, I kicked off my shoes without breaking stride.
We ended up on the sofa, facing each other. I was on the outside, but I wasn’t worried about falling off. As we kissed, Gabe ran his hand up my leg and over my hip, then up my back. It was like he couldn’t believe I was real and needed to make sure I was all there.
He kissed my face and my neck as his hand slid beneath my shirt. I gasped when his fingers brushed my skin. I grabbed at my shirt, pulling it over my head so he could touch more of me. It didn’t take long for his shirt, and both our jeans to follow. He held me tight, like he was afraid I might disappear. It wasn’t difficult to tell he was as into me as I was into him. I knew where this was going to lead, and it was like someone had dumped a bucket of cold water on me. I couldn’t let this happen without being honest with him.
I put my hands against the warm skin of his chest and pushed, breaking our kiss. “I have to tell you something.”
His hair was a mess from my hands. His eyes were like melted chocolate—warm, with the promise of something delicious. I don’t think I’d ever seen anything more beautiful in all my life than Gabe looking at me like he was at that moment. It made me feel both special and terrible.
“What is it?” he asked, coming up on his elbow.
“I’m not a virgin,” I blurted.
He smiled. God, he was hot. “Neither am I.”
“No, I need to tell you.”
“Hadley, it doesn’t matter. I’m not jealous—well, I kind of am, but your past is your past.”
“It was Michel le Duc.”
“The French exchange kid?”
I nodded.
“Mine was Christi Bennett.” He moved to kiss me again, his fingers slipping beneath the waistband of my underwear.
I grabbed his hand. “Don’t.” For a second—and only one—I was afraid that he wasn’t the good guy I thought he was.
Frowning, he removed his hand and leaned back so that we could see each other clearly. “What is it?”
“The night I had sex with Michel was the night of Drew Carson’s party. I was outside in Michel’s car.” I forced myself to meet his gaze, hoping he would fill in the blanks so I didn’t have to confess.
Gabriel didn’t disappoint me. “You were with him when Magda was attacked.” His voice didn’t even crack.
I nodded. “I was jealous that she was getting all the attention, so when Michel hit on me, I was stupid and I went outside with him. I didn’t even really want to have sex with him. I just figured, why not? Virginity is tedious. He was cute and safe, and once he went back to France I’d never have to see him again.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because if I hadn’t been a jealous bitch, I wouldn’t have gone with him, and I might have been there when Magda needed me.” A tear slid down my cheek. “I couldn’t let this happen without telling you the truth, not when the first and only time I’ve ever had sex was such a terrible night.”
“Did he hurt you?”
“No.” I swiped at my eyes. “He was nice. It just...it wasn’t what I hoped. When I went back into the party, I couldn’t find Magda. I figured she was having fun. When I found her—” My voice broke and suddenly tears streamed from my eyes. I sobbed so hard, my shoulders shook.
; Gabe gathered me against his chest once more. He shushed me as his hands rubbed gentle circles on my back. “It’s okay. Hadley, it wasn’t your fault.”
I hadn’t realized how much I’d needed to hear him say that. I’d been carrying that guilt with me for months, convinced that nothing would absolve me of it, and Gabe managed to do it with a hug and a kiss to my forehead.
Eventually, I stopped crying. I had to sit up to grab tissues from the box on the coffee table. My nose was so full of snot it was threatening to drip. Damn, I was sexy.
He sat up as well, and put his arm around me as I dried my face. “You okay?” he asked.
I nodded. “I think so.” I turned my face to look at him. “You don’t hate me?”
He smiled gently and gave my shoulder a squeeze. “No. I don’t think I could ever hate you.”
We sat there for a little while—until my nose cleared and my eyes stopped burning. I probably had makeup all over my face. Then Gabe rose to his feet and offered me his hand. I took it and stood up. He led me out of the living room to the stairs. I didn’t care that I was in my underwear—so was he. I wasn’t self-conscious or embarrassed because I knew he liked my body. More important, he liked me.
We climbed the stairs and went to his room. Streetlights shone through the window, casting a golden glow over the room that was almost like candlelight.
He took me into his arms again. “I’m sorry your first time was disappointing. I’d like to fly to France and fuck that guy up.”
I smiled. “It wasn’t his fault.”
“Yeah, it was.” He kissed me, and the moment his lips touched mine I felt that explosion of want in my stomach again.
He undid my bra and slipped it off my shoulders. It fell to the floor at my feet. I tried to press myself against him, but he held me back. “I want to see you,” he said. He wanted to touch me too, and I let him, because I wanted to feel his hands on my skin.
A few minutes later, our breath mingling, we were in his bed. Gabe rolled onto his back, taking me with him. “We’re not going to do anything you don’t want,” he said.
I think that was the moment I realized I was in love with him, when he left everything in my hands. I smiled. “I know what I want,” I said, lowering my head to kiss him as I slid my leg over his.
And this time I wasn’t disappointed.
CHAPTER 17
Before I left his place Friday night, Gabe informed me that he was going to be my date for the pit party. I wasn’t about to argue. I drove home with a stupid grin on my face. That night with him... Well, I couldn’t describe it. And the more I thought about it, the more mixed my emotions became.
What had happened with me and Gabe had been incredible. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was that I wanted to share this incredible thing with Magda. Okay, so she might be a little icked out by the fact that it was her brother I’d slept with, but we’d told each other everything. Almost everything.
And then I thought about the fact that Magda’s first time hadn’t been disappointing like mine, but tragic and violent. Because of Drew Carson and his friends, my best friend would never know what I was feeling at that moment. She would never know what I knew, that sex with the right person could be amazing. Knowing that made me sad, and when I crawled into bed that night—my own bed—I cried for her and all the things she would never experience. I cried for myself too, and all the firsts I would have and never be able to share with her.
The next morning I woke up to a text from Zoe asking how I was getting to the party that night. I texted back and told her I was going with Gabe, to which she replied that I was a “lucky bitch” and asked if he had a friend. I told her I would ask.
I got out of bed, showered, dressed and went downstairs. My mother was baking something when I walked into the kitchen.
“Look who’s up before noon,” she quipped, looking up from the mixing bowl. She frowned at me. “What happened to your face?”
My face? What the hell was she talking about? Oh, she meant the bruise from the guy at the frat house. How sad was it that I was becoming so used to having bruises that I didn’t even remember where they were?
“I had class at the dojo last night. I got hit.”
She was still frowning. “It looks awful.”
“It looks worse than it feels.” I went to the cupboard for a box of cereal.
“I don’t like you walking around with bruises on your face.”
I got a bowl, as well. “I’ll slap some makeup on it later.”
“Who’s teaching this class? I’d like to have a talk with them about what they’re teaching you.”
Seriously? “It’s Diane Davies. She’s a detective, you know, a cop.” I watched as her frown turned into a grimace.
“She should know better than to let the boys in her class get so rough with the girls.”
Didn’t she listen to anything I told her? I went to the fridge for milk. “It’s an all-girl class.” It didn’t matter that a guy had actually given me this bruise. It could have just as easily come from a girl with a good right hook.
“She shouldn’t be teaching this stuff anyway. I’ve seen the news reports about that crazy pink-masked girl. And now I see that three girls got into an altercation at a college party a couple of nights ago.”
I took my cereal to the table and sat so I could see her. “So you think girls are to blame for what’s been going on in this town?”
Her blue eyes narrowed as she looked at me. I think it was the first time in my life that my mother ever actually saw me. “All these stories about groups of girls going around beating guys up. What do you think that’s going to solve?”
“First of all, those girls saved another girl from being raped. In fact, the one thing all of these ‘stories’ you’re talking about have in common is the fact that the guys—the ones you seem to think are the victims—have all been sleazebags who had sexually assaulted somebody in the past, or were about to.”
She paused then. “Really?”
“Yes, Mom.” God, I sounded so patronizing.
“The news made it sound like it was all random.” Her gaze narrowed at me. “How do you know so much about it? Hadley, tell me you aren’t going around beating up boys.”
My heart kicked my ribs. “What if I was?”
Her eyes widened. “I...I don’t know.”
“Would you be proud of me for standing up for what I believe in? Or would you be mad? Would you call the police and turn me in?”
“I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Would you call the police?”
She looked completely thrown off. “No. No, I wouldn’t. Are you beating up boys?”
“Yes,” I admitted. Shit, it felt good to let it out.
Whatever she was making was forgotten for a moment as she slumped into a chair at the table. “Oh.”
“I have to do it, Mom.”
“This is about what happened to Magda, isn’t it?”
I nodded. I thought she might start crying.
“Your father would blame me for this.”
“Dad’s a douche bag.”
She actually laughed. “I guess since we’re confessing, I can tell you I filed for divorce.”
That was more surprising than it ought to have been. I guess part of me didn’t believe she’d actually break it off with him completely.
“Can you afford a divorce?” I asked.
“Yes. I had a job interview last week, and they called yesterday to offer me the position. You and I are going to be just fine. Better than fine.” But as she spoke, a tear trickled down her cheek.
I put my hand over hers. “Are you okay?” I asked. Stupid question. She was shaking.
“I will be.” Her fingers tightened around mine. “Sweetie, you have
to stop this. Magda wouldn’t want you to get hurt—or worse, arrested.”
“Magda’s dead,” I whispered. “It doesn’t matter what she wants.”
My mother tilted her head as she watched me. “That’s what those boys thought.”
It was like a sucker punch to the throat. I literally couldn’t think—couldn’t speak. I pushed my chair back and stood up.
“Hadley!” Mom cried as I walked out of the room. “Hadley, come back! We need to talk about this!”
No, we really didn’t. I was done talking. Done listening. Everyone just needed to shut the fuck up and let me do what needed to be done.
* * *
The pit was an old quarry on the edge of town that was owned by the DOT. It was where they got the gravel to do road repairs, and where bored high school students had been partying for years.
Gabe and I went together, as he’d promised. There was no way he was letting me go alone knowing Drew, Adam, Brody and Jason were going to be there, especially since he knew the four of them were the only reason I was going.
I didn’t really have a plan. My ski mask, which was starting to look a little dirty, was tucked into the waistband of my jeans. It was a cool night, so I had on a jacket that concealed the bulk beneath my shirt. Other than keeping an eye on Drew and his minions, I didn’t know what I was going to do. I suppose I’d figure it out if the opportunity arose. It hadn’t steered me wrong so far.
What I knew for certain was that I wanted to get Adam before Drew. I was saving Drew for last, though I hadn’t realized it until that moment. Drew was the one who had given Magda the spiked drink. He was the one who took her upstairs. And in all of those awful photos, he was the one who had degraded her the most.
So, yeah. He was going to be the grand finale. I wanted him to know I was coming for him. I wanted him to look over his shoulder and wonder when I would strike.
We got there around nine. It was dark up where we parked, but everyone knew where the road into the pit was. We followed Zoe and her date—a surprise named Paul—and Anna down into the open area where someone had already got the fire burning. There were sticks set aside for hot dogs and marshmallows—sticks that had been there since before I started going to these parties—and magically these food staples always seemed to appear.