I looked away from him, unable to hide the sympathy I had for him. I loved him, but not in the way he needed me to. I tried to judge Landen’s emotion to see if I felt the jealousy rise again, but he was holding it at bay for my benefit - for the benefit of Livingston; if there were one soul that could set Drake on the right course, tell him not to push the leeway Landen was giving him, it would be Livingston.
He isn’t ready, Landen thought. He feels too guilty. The closer he gets to Marc and Chrispin, the harder it is for him to think of their dad.
I nodded, understanding that Drake’s family had been through more than I could ever fathom.
I tightened my arm around Drake’s and said, “When you’re ready – and I don’t care if it’s the dead of the night – tell me, and I’ll go with you. He loves you, and he has no sorrow. He’s always watching you, and he’ll continue to do so until you’re happy...until all of us are.”
His slight smile grew, and he leaned closer to me and gently kissed my temple. “I know,” he whispered.
I closed my eyes and let a breath out, trying to block his touch as I stood to go to Landen’s side, knowing if I didn’t distract him from Drake’s innocent kiss that they’d fight again - and I didn’t have the strength to stand between them. “Do you think it’s safe enough for us to go on the roof? Are they watching?”
He shook his head no as he reached for my waist and pulled me against him. “It’s not safe. I can feel a wild mix of intent and emotion all around us. I think Dane is right: there are spies here. They’re watching the palace closely. I don’t think any are in here, but I can feel the intent for them to question the workers on why those windows are broken.”
“We need to tell them you broke them,” Drake said, standing. “That it was your rage when you discovered that Willow was taken. This will be a lot easier if they think Olivia is Willow. They need to be as confused as possible, and we have to choose our words carefully around...around everyone,” he said, looking at Landen.
I knew he was referring to Dane, and I was so over the idea of them not liking him. For all they knew, he could be the key to solving all of this. In my mind, he’d already paid the ultimate sacrifice for me: he let go of Clarissa – half of his soul.
Ashten came to the doorway, sorrow and worry completely consuming him. As Landen waved him closer to us, he eagerly came, surprised and humbled that Landen needed him.
“I need you to tell those workers that I did that, broke the windows. You have to be convincing; they’ll be questioned when they leave the palace,” Landen said quietly.
Ashten nodded, agreeing with him. “They’re almost done, and I’ll make sure everyone knows to convey that thought. I was asked more than once if it was Olivia or Willow when we were outside.”
“How did you answer?” Drake asked quietly.
“I just told them that either way, our family was in grief, but that we would not only find her - but the others as well...I understand there are even more,” he said, looking at Landen, “and I understand that what you’re planning to do isn’t advised by Alamos.”
Landen’s jaw tightened as he felt Ashten’s intent to persuade us to find a different way – or at least stay behind whilst our family went to bring back Olivia.
“Perodine believes differently, and I can’t tell you everything I know. I need you to trust us; no one is going but the three of us.”
“Chrispin will go...he may already be there,” Ashten said, looking to the steps that led to the roof.
“He’ll listen to me,” Landen said firmly. “He isn’t going to do anything that will hurt Olivia or himself; he’s just trying to find a way to get there. I can feel them...their confidence is growing.”
Ashten nodded. “Is it just him and Marc up there?”
“No. Brady is there, too. Dane is outside.”
I felt the disapproval rise inside of Ashten; it was clear that he was furious with Dane, as any father would be if someone had hurt their daughter.
“I’m going to go and talk to these workers. I’ll get Jason and August to walk the streets with me, and I’m going to insist that Rose and Nyla move to Pelhan’s world. I may need your help; August is afraid that storms may emerge in the string, and I want to make sure they’re safe.”
“How fierce?” I asked.
Ashten looked down, then up again at me. “We don’t know. The rings are under water now, so I don’t think they’d be the same. We all seem to think it will be more like a wave of energy that pushes through; I wouldn’t say fierce, but it could make navigation harder. I don’t really think it’s a good idea for us to pass though more than needed.”
Landen nodded in agreement. “We’ll make sure everyone is where they need to be, then stay here until Olivia is safe.”
Ashten looked at me, then at Landen. “You have to find a place to rest tonight – and I know you won’t here. Stay at Pelhan’s.”
“No,” I said before anyone else could. “For all we know, a wall could rise again, and we won’t be able to get back to help.”
“She has a point,” Drake said, looking at Landen.
“We won’t stay long, and we’ll find our rest one way or another,” Landen said as he pulled me closer to him.
Ashten didn’t try to argue; he just nodded once, then left with the intent to convince the workers that I’d been taken.
Landen looked at Drake. “Where’s this passage that leads to that island?”
“In Donalt’s chamber here. It’s not even the string; it’s more like a port hole. I’ve stepped through it before. He had countless ceremonies there and enjoyed making a dramatic appearance.”
“If it’s here, then why is Alamos worried about the time you two will be together? I mean, it sounds like you step inside each other, then step through the port hole?” I asked.
“He thinks that when we merge, it’ll be excruciating. Even if we move past that point, we still have to step through the passage and wait for the ceremony to take place. They’ll speak words, read from old passages, and begin to chant long before Olivia is brought in. The energy there is near demonic, and if we show any weakness, they’ll attack before Olivia is even brought in – and I’ll be seen as a traitor once and for all.”
“I say we all just step in and show them who’s really in charge,” I said as anger consumed me.
They both shook their heads no. “We have to play this carefully. We have no idea what’s next, and we all have to survive this. Alamos said if any one of us falls, they’ll see it as a victory,” Drake warned.
“Well,” I said, crossing my arms and looking at Drake, “at least we all plan to survive this time.”
I still carried an anger for him to so willingly ask me to kill him a few days ago.
“Right – all of us,” he countered, moving his eyes to my chest, the place where I’d pushed the knife through me.
“Our timing has to be perfect,” Landen said, breaking the building tension. “Whether that passage is part of the string or not, Willow and I can’t be divided by it for more than an instant; that added pain may be what will bring us down.”
“It’s literally a direct path; as long as she’s in Esterious, it shouldn’t matter,” Drake said.
“You don’t realize how painful it is,” I said, running my hands across my arms, remembering the tearing sensation I’d endured when Landen and I had let the string divide us.
“We’ll find a way to time it,” Landen promised, trying to reassure me. “Can you see that island from here? I’m more worried about her getting there than us.”
“Not clearly. You can see structures that lead to it. I even think there’s a passage to the string below the lighthouse on the shore...maybe we could see from there.”
“There is; I’ve stepped through it before,” Landen said. “I bet that’s one of the places where Brady and Chrispin are looking now. I don’t want Willow to go there yet; it’s too dangerous.”
“Well, I can’t go either. I have no i
dea who’s watching, and obviously you can’t because of this attachment issue the two of you have,” Drake said in a frustrated tone.
“It’s more than an attachment,” I said under my breath.
“Brady and Chrispin will be our eyes,” Landen said before Drake could find the words to counter me.
Preston came to the doorway. “All clear now,” he said, waving his tiny arm for us to follow him back into the study.
His calm, carefree emotion gave me hope, and I smiled slightly and walked to his side. He took my hand proudly. I felt Landen lagging behind, and I looked over my shoulder to see him and Drake talking quietly. I pushed down my frustration, my jealousy; I knew they were talking about me, and I didn’t find it fair that I was left out of the conversation. It made me feel weak.
Alamos and Perdoine were working quietly at the table, and Beth and Stella were walking in from the other direction. I slid out of my coat and laid it across the couch that faced the fireplace.
“Are you guys OK?” I asked Beth and Stella.
I could feel Beth’s concern, but she always seemed to feel that way, so it was hard to judge how she was taking all of this. They both seemed to nod at once.
“Are you?” Beth asked, moving closer to me.
I nodded.
“Ashten said you were going to Pelhan’s in a little bit,” Stella said, smiling down at Preston, who was still shadowing me.
“As soon as they spread the word that I’m gone...I think then, but only for a minute. Are you coming?”
“I want to stay here this time, but Preston did ask to go with you,” she answered.
I looked down at him and smiled. “You miss Libby?”
He smiled but didn’t answer.
“We’re going to go outside with the others,” Beth said, reaching to tuck a lock of blond hair out of Preston’s eyes.
“Be careful,” I said quietly.
Stella glanced at me and patted my shoulder as they walked by.
I sat down on one of the side couches, and Preston curled up next to me. I looked down at him. “I wish there was a way for us to tell them they’re gonna be alright,” I complained as I pulled him closer to me.
“They know,” he assured, looking up at me.
I sighed and relaxed into the couch. Drake and Landen came in a few minutes later.
Interesting conversation, I thought as I looked over my shoulder at him.
We were just going over the possible ways to get there, he thought, clearly hiding something from me.
I watched Drake walk to the table and sit next to Alamos. If only I could feel him, I’m sure I’d understand him, find a way to reach him, save him from his foolish emotions.
Landen came to my side and reached his arm around me. Silence took over for a while, and I caught myself drifting to sleep more than once. I could feel Landen’s intent to let me drift and rest, but I’m stubborn, and I didn’t want sleep – not now.
I felt my dad coming closer, so I sat up. Preston had fallen asleep next to me. I stretched, then got up to grab my coat and cover him up.
“I’ll go find him a warm blanket,” Landen said as he stood and left through the doorway that led to the hallway.
I walked over to the table. The only one that looked up when I came closer was Drake.
“Did I see you sleeping?” he asked quietly.
“No, but she needs to,” Perodine said as her eyes moved to meet mine.
I held a calm expression, but they were all driving me mad.
My dad came in a second later and surveyed the room.
“Where’s Landen?” he asked.
I nodded my head to the other doorway just as Landen walked in with a blanket to cover Preston.
“Where is everyone?” I asked my dad.
“Ashten and August should be back any minute; they decided to bring everyone here so the two of you won’t be in the string that long.”
“Who’s still in Chara?”
“Nyla and Karsten. Rose is at the docks with the captains’ families; she’s managed to calm them down.”
I thought I felt Dane, but I wasn’t sure; whoever it was had the emotion of anger and was in pain. I stepped closer to the door, but before I made it there Dane came through the threshold. A gaping gash was under his eye, and blood was running down his face.
“What happened?!” I said in a gasp, rushing to his side.
Landen and my dad came to him as well.
“They know I’m a part of this family now, and I was pulled into an alley and paid the price for knowing you,” he answered in a scornful tone.
“You couldn’t protect yourself?” Landen asked disbelievingly.
Dane’s eyes moved to him. “I didn’t see it coming.”
“You have to heal him...this is deep,” I said to Landen.
“No,” Perodine, Alamos, and Drake said at once.
Dane peered over my head at Drake. “Let me guess: I don’t deserve to be healed?”
“Very original words,” Drake said shortly.
“Stop it. This is serious – I can see the bone of his cheek,” I argued, trying not to get sick at the sight of so much blood.
Alamos and Perodine came closer, but Drake kept his distance.
“Landen,” Alamos said quietly, “you need your energy – do you understand me?”
Landen looked over Alamos, taking in the emotion and intent he felt coming from him. His eyes then moved to Perodine, who nodded once as if to agree. I felt a dread and anger rise in Landen.
“Landen,” I said to get his attention. “This is bad.”
Not vital, Landen thought. I have enough trouble waking up as it is.
I started to argue, but then I stopped myself; as bad as this was, I wasn’t going to let any more dark energy inside of Landen.
My dad looked at Alamos. “I can stitch this. Do you have a medical kit – anything I can use?”
Alamos nodded, then looked at Landen once again; Landen held his stare as he left the room.
What are you feeling from him? I thought.
A warning, Landen thought bleakly.
My Dad was closely examining Dane’s eyes. Out of his good eye, Dane looked back and forth between me and Landen, then settled on me.
“So what’s the verdict? Am I not worthy?” he said quietly.
“You’re worthy. You’re just not dying, and we need to make sure we can save all of those people,” I answered, not hiding the fact that I was terrified for him; he’d become a target for more than one member of this family.
“Lucky for me,” Dane said, squinting as my dad touched his skin.
Alamos came back in with a black bag, and my dad urged Dane to sit at the table. As my dad began to work on him, Chrispin, Brady, and Marc came in.
“What happened to you?” Marc asked, almost amused.
Landen looked at him and shook his head, telling him to stop before someone got really mad.
“Did you find anything?” he asked them.
“We can see the island. They have Olivia on the boat with the children; it’s like they want us to see her,” Chrispin answered.
“I’m so sorry...” I said, looking up at him.
Chrispin carefully walked to my side. “She told me this might happen,” he whispered so low that only I could hear him. I looked up in shock at him to see his eyes full of the courage and pride I felt.
As he gently pulled me into the hallway away from the others, I felt my heart race and dread build in me.
“If she knew, why didn’t you tell me?” I asked breathlessly when we reached the hallway.
He leaned his shoulder against the wall and looked down, then up at me. “She didn’t know this would happen. She told me that right now you were in danger and that no matter what happened to anyone else, you were the one that was at risk, that whatever we were put through would be the distraction while the devil had his way with you. She told me last night that no matter what, I had to make sure you were safe and that you liv
ed through this. If we lose any one of the three of you, this world has no hope.”
I moved my head from side to side. “I have no choice but to go after her...I can’t just stay behind.”
He nodded. “I think...I think you’re already fighting with this devil, that the trial isn’t the moment of the ceremony – it’s already begun.”
“Everyone thinks I’m losing it, that I need rest,” I said under my breath, seeing that he could very well be right.
“I think you need rest - but no one thinks you’re crazy – I promise,” he said as he tried to smile.
“I don’t know how you’re handling this,” I said, lowering my eyes.
“I know you can feel my heartache, my grief and fear – but you must also feel the confidence that we will prevail. Evil never wins – at least not for long.”
I took in a deep breath.
“Something else is wrong,” he mumbled as his concerned eyes cascaded over me.
“It’s shallow compared to what you’re dealing with.”
“We are all one, Willow. Tell me. I need you to be focused so you can bring her home to me.”
I bit my bottom lip as my thoughts took me to random moments over the last few weeks. “Do you think...do you think Landen is changing?” I finally asked.
Confusion filled his innocent, boyish expression. “You both are.”
“No, not like that. Like...he seems...he seems more fierce to me.”
Chrispin let a vacant smile come to his lips as he adjusted his lean against the wall. “Listen, most travelers go out, face what they face, then come home and fall into the bliss of Chara. They never mix work with pleasure. This family is different...Landen is different...it’s one in the same for us, and the moments of bliss are becoming fleeting.”
“How is what travelers do not blissful? They bring soul mates together.”
His grin grew. “Parts of it are blissful. Do you honestly think that Marc and Ashten are naturally defensive? Protective? They’re not. A traveler has the most dangerous fate of all: they fight the storms in the string, they’re taken to worlds that are harsh, and sometimes they even find themselves in the wake of war. They have a vast knowledge of all mythology and lore, and they have to be prepared for anything at any time.”