“Nothing like this,” I said as I looked around the palace hallway.
“We all see our soul mates differently, and we tend to overlook the more brash personality traits. You and Landen may have dreamed of each other your entire life, but you’ve only been side by side for a few months. Landen is a warrior at heart. I’ve watched him fight with his father, with anyone who stands in the way of something he sets his mind to doing. Honestly, when he first found you, I was shocked at how calm he was - we all were. We’ve been waiting for him to come back to who he was: a man that doesn’t take no for an answer, who’s prepared to defend whomever is in his charge, even if it means death. He’s not changing; you’re just discovering more of who he is.”
“The dark side,” I mumbled, hoping Chrispin was right, that I was just learning more about him, that healing Drake hadn’t changed the peaceful soul I knew he was.
“We all have one, but seriously, I give him credit; he’s put up with a lot of stuff that you’ve helped him with. You give him caution, and that’s good because before we found you, I would almost call him reckless, traveling the most dangerous paths, daring to invoke change and deep thought in dimensions that are nowhere near ready for it. Marc used to tell me he was rebelling against Ashten, that Landen knew his limits. I think he was right because when it came time to use caution, you came into his life, gave him a reason to think twice before he walked fearlessly into the unknown.”
“Some might say I’ve done more harm than good,” I uttered quietly as I thought of the original fight I had with Clarissa when she told me that bringing me home was the worst thing Landen could have done; you always say what you really mean when you’re mad.
Chrispin smirked. “We all knew it was going to take someone on the edge to really love Landen, someone who showed no fear of change. He knew that, too. He’s fine, I promise - not even close to what he was before he found you.” His smirk vanished. “I don’t know if they taught you this about astrology, but your sun sign is who you are, your rising is who you were meant to be, and your mid-haven is who you will be. Landen isn’t the peaceful dreamer that a Pisces would lead you to believe; Aries is his rising. He was born for this; he’s acting completely normal.”
Hearing the truth in his words, I reached out to hug him. “I’ll bring her back,” I whispered.
I turned to walk back into the study. My dad had finished stitching Dane’s wound, and he was cleaning his face so he could put a bandage on it. Dane looked at me, and though I couldn’t feel it, I could see in his eyes that he felt outnumbered, unwanted - and that made my heart cry.
I walked over to his side and put my hand on his shoulder. “Maybe you should go to Pelhan’s. That’s where Clarissa is. You need to mend all of your wounds now that your alliances here have fallen.”
He eyes reflected anger. “Not all of them. I’m staying here.”
My father put the bandage across his wound, then handed him three pills. “This will take the pain away – from all of your injuries.”
Dane swallowed them whole without any water.
“Go find a place to rest; those pills will put you to sleep for a while,” my father warned.
Dane stood in protest and tried to cough them up without success. “You can’t get me to go home – so you’re putting me to sleep?!” he yelled, glaring across the room.
I felt an anger rise in my father. The emotion was so foreign in his soul, it caught me off guard. “Dane, rest. Stop this nonsense before you really get hurt,” my dad demanded, looking over his shoulder at Landen and Drake, who were leaning against the back of the couch.
I gritted my teeth, knowing my dad was right. They were just waiting for an excuse, and honestly, they already had one; I just wasn’t going to listen to them when they tried to convince me to use it. Dane shook his head, looked down at me, then walked to the doorway.
As he left, Ashten and August stepped in.
“What happened?” August asked as concern filled him.
“He’s just having a hard time finding balance,” I answered before anyone had a chance to say otherwise.
I felt the anxiety rise in the room; it was almost more than I could bear. I walked to the couch that faced the fireplace, trying to keep my head high and avoiding eye contact at the same time.
Landen followed me, and Drake took a seat next to Preston’s sleeping body, caressing his tiny face as he slept.
“How’s everything out there?” Landen asked, turning so he could see everyone in the room as he sat next to me.
“Not good,” August said. “I don’t think they believe us. They keep asking where you are.”
“Landen,” Alamos said, “you should walk the streets. The spies will be watching, wanting to know for sure if they have Willow,” Alamos said.
I turned to look behind me to judge Alamos’ expression.
Ashten spoke up. “He’s not going out there – are you insane? If they took Olivia, they’ll take him; we have too much at risk here.”
“You should all go with him,” Alamos said, looking at Ashten. “We still have no idea who’s on our side and who’s against us in the court. They aren’t after Landen; they believe Drake is Guardian...if anything, they fear Landen as the devil.”
I looked nervously at Landen; I knew he wanted to fool the spies, to find them – and destroy them.
I dare any of them to take me from you, he thought, returning my stare.
I breathed in and fought back anger. If you think it’s safe, I trust you.
Landen looked at Drake. “Can you keep her safe while I’m gone?”
Drake glanced at me and said, “Yes.”
I looked at Landen, judging his emotion, trying to see if he heard truth in Drake’s answer. I felt his trust rise and his intent to leave me here.
“Alright,” Landen said, looking at Alamos, then his father. “Everyone comes with me. We’ll walk through the streets to the wall, talk to whoever wants to talk to me, then we’ll make sure everyone gets to Pelhan’s.”
“Landen,” Ashten said pleadingly. Landen looked sharply at his father. “We have to know who they are. We’re all at risk until we figure that out.”
Ashten gritted his teeth, holding back his argument, then nodded.
Landen leaned closer to me and tenderly kissed my lips. I’ll be back soon. I love you.
Love you, I thought, pulling him closer.
Perodine came to the back of the couch where I was sitting. “We’ll keep her safe,” she promised Landen.
Landen glanced at Drake and nodded once. He then slowly let go of me and stood. I watched as they all left, then took a deep breath and turned to find Alamos staring at me.
Perodine put her arm on my shoulder. “You need to rest; you look weak.”
I turned forward and stared at the flames in the fire. “My father says rest isn’t what I need; he says I need to dream, and that’s something I can only do in Chara,” I said, relaxing into the couch as my anxiety of Landen being on the streets of Delen began to rush though my soul.
Perodine leaned over my shoulder and smiled slightly as she reached down for my medallion. “Fear no more,” she said, looking into my eyes. “I will always protect you. Rest.”
“I’m not tired,” I mumbled, looking away.
She sighed and calmly walked to Alamo’s side with the intent of finding a way of doing just that – protect me.
I began to stare at the flames, thinking they would hypnotize me enough to ‘rest’, or at least calm my nerves. I could feel Drake’s stare, and from the corner of my eye I could see him moving to my side. As he sat next to me, I looked into his mesmerizing, dark eyes and found alarm there.
“I don’t need anyone else to tell me I need rest,” I whispered.
He smiled slightly and moved closer to me. “Then I won’t tell you - I’ll ask you: will you let me protect you while you rest?”
My eyes questioned him.
“Nothing can hurt you while I’m near you. I’ve
proven that in more than one life,” he whispered, leaning back and reaching for the pillow behind him, then laying it across his lap, catching my gaze again.
I did feel safe at his side, and my mind was tired. I slowly laid my head on the pillow and stared at the flames across the room, fighting the guilt of being at his side. A moment later, I felt his fingertips gently outlining my cheek. The hum of his skin was so warm, I closed my eyes and began to drift against my will.
Chapter Thirteen
At first, my dreams were absent. I could only barely hear the echoes of voices in my mind, the arguments and opinions of others that I could never find a way to completely agree with. Then my heart began to race, and I felt a warm, mesmerizing adrenaline course through me. I felt myself gasp, then felt an undeniable passion explode from my soul. The emotions caused me to feel strong arms holding me, and I felt lips kissing my warm skin - but when I opened my eyes slightly, the face in front of me wasn’t Landen; it was Drake...a sickening guilt absorbed me.
This dream was somewhere in time – when I belonged to him. The guilt caused me to push away from him in the dream.
The dream moved, and now I was watching myself somewhere further in the past. It was the dead of night, and I opened my window to let Drake pass through. The moment he reached me, I pulled him through, and we rolled to the ground. I could feel our emotions, the passion, the gratitude for the stolen moment – how sacred his touch was to me as his strong hands moved across every inch of my body. I let myself feel those emotions – not because I enjoyed them, but because I could feel Drake. I’d felt him in my dying moments, but never in a moment like this; he seemed so real, so passionate that it was almost heartbreaking. The dream took me away again, and I watched as countless times he held me – and I pulled him to me.
The seductive moments faded, then I saw why those moments were so precious to us. I watched him dress his flawless body in every uniform I could imagine. I watched him lead thousands into battle, stand before me and lay his life down. We always seemed to know that our moments alone were fleeting, and our passion not only for each other, but for the world around us made us cherish each other and live as if we would die at any moment.
I fell to my knees in my dream as my soul cried. It almost made sense. In my lives with Drake, I was willing to risk everything, fight until my dying breath. I knew that in this life - and I assumed in every life that I had with Landen - I wasn’t willing to live without him, that I’d rather use wisdom than strength. In a way, I thought I needed both now. I needed the wisdom and patience that Landen would give me, and I needed the fearless desire to lay my life down, the courage that Drake would give me - but it didn’t seem fair, not for everyone.
Drake’s image appeared next to me, and gently reached his hand down to help me up. I held his stare, unsure as to whether or not I was still dreaming.
“That was beautiful...passionate...but we can’t have that now...we can’t...”
In the dream, he pulled my lips to his and kissed me with a tender passion; somehow I held my guilt down for only a moment and kissed him back. Once the guilt refused to be suffocated any longer, I pulled away and looked down.
“How do you know?” he asked quietly.
I looked up at him. His dark eyes captured mine, and I felt myself being gently pulled in by the mystery I found in his soul. His expression pleaded for a connection that I couldn’t completely feel.
“When Landen looks into my eyes...he sees...he sees right through me. You can’t...” I said quietly, breaking our gaze.
He gently reached to pull my chin up, catching my gaze again. “I see...you’re not looking back.”
Before I could protest, I heard the muffled voices of Landen and Brady. I managed to pull myself out of my dream and sat up slowly. Taking in the fading images, I felt a sick guilt build in me. I glanced to my side to find Drake asleep and touched his shoulder to wake him. His eyes opened slowly.
“Was that real?” I whispered.
He didn’t answer me; he just held my gaze. I looked away before my mind had a chance to make the dream a reality.
Must have been some dream, I heard Landen say in my thoughts.
I nervously caught his stare. Why do you say that? I thought timidly.
His eyes filled with pain as jealousy took over his emotion. I felt passion in your emotion, he thought, tilting his head, yet your energy has depleted.
Now you see why I hate to dream, I thought before I could stop myself.
Why is that? Does he often appear there? he thought with a sting in his tone.
I stood abruptly and walked to him, then put my hands on either side of his face and pulled his lips to me. At first he refused to kiss me back, but my sheer force demanded that he did. As his lips moved against mine, I thought of his touch, his love, everything about him that left me breathless. His arms pulled my waist against him, then held me tightly.
Never doubt where you stand with me, I thought as I slowed my kiss. You're not only the man of my dreams, but the one who shares my soul. I felt a release in his emotions; the jealousy subsided, and the desire to end this curse absorbed him. He bit my bottom lip gently as he pulled away.
Realizing that we’d displayed passion in front of others - in front of Drake - caused my skin to blush, and the agony of being stuck in the middle of them took over. I refused to look at anyone as Landen held me against him.
“How convincing were you?” Alamos asked after a few seconds went by.
“Hard to say...there’s a building on the edge of the city. I didn’t go in, but I could feel a dark intent to defeat me,” Landen answered, locking stares with Drake. “We have people from Chara watching that place, so we should know who’s there before long.”
“Bring them to me. I have no issues killing anyone who’s a danger to Willow,” Drake said coldly.
I glanced in his direction to see anger engulfing his expression. I could swear I heard a taunt between his words, like he was accusing Landen of not having the same courage.
Landen’s jaw tightened as his hand fell into mine. “Everyone else has left for Pelhan’s. I told them we’d follow just in case.”
I squeezed his hand and avoided looking into Drake’s eyes again. Marc reached down and picked up Preston, who opened his eyes as he was lifted. “Shh,” Marc whispered. “We’re going to say goodnight to Libby.”
Preston’s sleepy eyes looked for me, and I smiled when they found me. “I’m coming, too,” I said quietly.
Landen squeezed my hand. He's grown attached to you, he thought. He looked over my head at Perodine and Alamos. “We’ll be back within the hour; if Pelhan has any advice, maybe two.”
“I don’t think he does,” she said quietly before looking at me. “Do you feel rested?”
I didn’t answer; I just pulled Landen closer and nodded slightly as we made our way to the passage.
Brady came to my side as we entered the string. I felt his intent to protect me in there, and I assumed Landen must have told him how I’d acted before. I didn’t care that he didn’t see it; the devil was toying with me then.
I could feel Landen’s dread building. I knew he wanted to talk to me about Dane, but he didn’t know how. I decided I wasn’t going to give him a chance, and as I made my intent, he looked down at me; I held a solemn expression but leaned closer to him.
I looked to my side at Brady. “Are you gonna stay? I’m sure Felicity would want you to.”
He glanced at me. “I’m sure she’ll insist that I stay with the two of you. The only reason I’m going now is because you are.”
“Is everyone already there?” I asked.
“Chrispin, Beth, Stella, and Rose are staying in Esterious. By now, everyone else should be here,” Brady answered.
I looked behind me at Marc, then up at Landen. “The string seems calm.”
“Things aren’t always what they seem. Other travelers have already felt what we feared.”
“How bad is it? Did anyone get
hurt?” I asked, squeezing his waist.
“Not bad. They said it’s like a wave; you don’t realize you’ve been moved, but as long as you keep walking the way you were going, it should be fine. Nothing like what we’ve lived through,” Landen explained.
“I don’t trust it,” Brady commented, looking all around us.
“It’s not the storms that bother me,” I said under my breath.
I felt the tension and concern build in the string, but I ignored it and looked forward, prepared to defend myself if that demon was foolish enough to provoke me.
It didn’t take long for us to reach Pelhan’s. As we stepped in, I counted the emotions around me and found that everyone was safely here. Marc let Preston down, and he took off in a sprint toward Pelhan’s house. Aora and Felicity were waiting at the gate.
“Where’s Allie?” Brady asked as he pulled Felicity to him.
“Asleep, but I want to wake her so she can see you,” Felicity said, pulling Brady’s lips to hers before guiding him toward Pelhan’s.
Aora looked at Landen. “Pelhan and the others are just over there,” she said, nodding to a distant tree.
We both felt her intent to talk to me alone. Landen kissed my forehead before walking to meet them.
Aora looped her arm through mine, and we walked in the opposite direction of Landen. “Your time here is short,” she said quietly.
“We just wanted to make sure everyone made it here,” I answered, trying to gauge the distant mood of Landen and the others.
We settled on a short stone wall. I took a deep breath and looked all around me at the beauty of this dimension. I could never get over how stunning it was here; the sky alone and the moving sea of light blue pearls were breathtaking.
“You’re troubled,” Aora said after countless moments of silence.
“Aren’t I always?” I said, trying to smile.
“Restless dreams?” she said, trying to hold my attention.
A sickening feeling of guilt absorbed me.“Very...they’re cruel.”
“I’m listening,” she said quietly.