Chapter 29
I slid the shower curtain closed, cringing at the scraping sound of metal on metal it made. I held my breath, my knees, nose, and eyes hovering above the bubbles.
“Lily?”
“Will!” I jumped and pulled the shower curtain open, so very glad it was him that I forgot for a moment that I was naked and up to my shoulders in rapidly disappearing bubbles.
He reared back,” Oh, sorry. I didn’t know…um, I’ll just wait for you downstairs…sorry,” he mumbled again as he backed out of the bathroom, his eyes large and round.
“Wait!”
He ducked his head back around the doorway, “Yeah?”
“Um…I’ll be down in a minute.” I tucked my chin below the suds and added, “I’m really glad you made it.”
His ears turned a bright pink and he looked away. “Thanks.”
Moments later, teeth brushed and hair towel dried, I threw on the clothes I’d found in the closet. Nothing that wasn’t likely from the teens or twenties, but the denim jeans and faded green tee shirt fit comfortably. I pulled on a pair of knee-high black leather boots and laced them up, admiring the well-crafted style. Aside from the worn sole, they were in good condition. I wiggled my toes in the extra inch of room, but couldn’t complain about the fit. Finally, I stood in front of a cracked full length mirror and admired the look of the snug jeans and how they gave my hips some nice curves I hadn’t noticed until recently.
When I made it down to the kitchen, Will had washed up in the sink and had some cans of tuna opened on the counter. His eyes brightened when I walked in.
“You look great! I mean…you must feel a lot better.”
I felt the blush creep up my cheeks. “I cleaned and filled the tub for you. There should be something in the closet that will fit.”
“Thanks,” he said, his eyes slowly working their way from my boots to my face again. He cleared his throat and nodded as he passed me. “I hope I clean up as well as you did.” He tossed back over his shoulder, “I’ll have a surprise for you when I get back.”
Will disappeared up the stairs, and I continued preparing what food I could find, all the while fighting the emotions that bubbled under the surface and wondering what on earth he could have up his sleeve this time. I was so relieved to see him safe and sound, I wanted to cry and not let him out of my sight again. At the same time, an aching pull had taken up residence the moment he’d left the room, knowing that the next few hours was all we had together. Worse was how I dreaded telling him I’d lost my pack—the thing we’d both risked our lives for. I slouched over the counter focused on my task.
Along with the tuna, there was a jar of tomatoes, some jam, an ancient can of something called cheese whiz, and a stale box of crackers. We’d have to make do.
A half hour later, Will appeared in the doorway, and my knees all but melted. Clean up well, indeed. His hair was neatly slicked back, his face shaven, and his eyes held a peaceful happiness that made the edges curve upwards to match the smile on his lips.
A “whoa,” escaped me before I could stop myself.
His smile grew, revealing slightly elongated canines I hadn’t noticed before. “You must be referring to this.” With one finger, he held up, of all things, my pack—stinky and tattered, but in one piece.
“Where…how…?”
He looked all too pleased with himself as he padded barefoot across the wood floor, his shirt open and jeans hanging low on his hips. He dropped the pack into the sink. “That’s why I didn’t meet you on the south bank. I saw this floating down river and went to retrieve it.”
My mouth hung open in astonishment as I dug through the pack to find the two canisters of Syntoxin perfectly intact. Next thing I knew, I’d thrown my arms around his neck, nearly slamming him into the counter. He caught me and saved us both tumbling. “Oh, thank you! I was so worried…I thought I’d lost it…I can’t believe you swam through all that stuff to save Sam’s medicine…I don’t know how I can ever repay you…”
“This is perfect,” he said softly as he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight, burying his face in my hair. I swallowed hard against a dry mouth as he pulled back and gazed into my eyes. My joy, relief, and gratitude poured out of me in a flood of tears. I looked away, feeling embarrassed and vulnerable. Just when I thought all was lost and that he was the biggest jerk on the planet, he surprised me yet again.
I stayed still as a rabbit, all jittery inside, as he studied my face. His fingers traced my brow as he pushed my bangs out of my eyes. “I’m glad I could help. Swimming in swill is the least I could do to make up for what I did.”
At that moment, all I could think about was how happy I was to have Sam’s medicine back and how good Will’s arms felt around me. I hugged him again, nestling my head into his shoulder and taking him in. He smelled of the same lavender bath soap I’d used. I pulled away, face mock serious. “You’ve definitely redeemed yourself—unless there are any other secrets you’re keeping.”
A moment of hesitation crossed his features. “It would be kind of pointless to keep anything else from you, right?”
“Right,” I said warily. I let my arms drop and stepped back, suddenly feeling awkward and suspicious. “So is there? Anything else I should know?”
“You know all the important stuff about me. Isn’t that enough?” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other.
“What about that scar on your back?” I asked softly.
His eyes widened. “I’d rather not talk about that if you don’t mind. Can’t we just forget all the bad stuff…at least for tonight?”
His evasion set off a trail of tingles at the nape of my neck. “I suppose for now,” I conceded. “I made us something to eat.”
He glanced over at the small round table. “This looks great.” He sat down and surveyed the small feast, obviously happy to escape the conversation. I let my apprehension fade. He’d gone above and beyond the call of duty or friendship to save the Syntoxin cylinders. I felt like a heel interrogating him. Under the circumstances, I could hardly hound him for details about a painful part of his life that he’d rather keep private. I slid into the chair across from him.
I’d fixed two plates with an assortment of dressed crackers—some with cheese, tomato, and tuna—the others with just jam for dessert. I’d found wine glasses in the cabinet and had filled them with cold, crystal clear water that reminded me of home, and an unexpected twist of longing and appreciation hit me. I’d be home in a day at most, and I had Sam’s potential cure back in my possession. My mind skipped to the other part of that reality and my spirits drooped again. By the time I got home, Will would be nothing but a bittersweet memory.
I stared at my plate, my heart thumping loudly enough that I was certain he could hear it. We ate silently, the shadows cool around us. I shivered and bit into another cracker. The candle in the center of the table gave the room an eerie glow and the rain that beat hard against the windows made it seem like we were the only two people left on earth. I wondered, if that were true, if I could even trust him then, knowing that he was capable of lying, stealing, and hiding who he was so effortlessly. I pushed away the thought, unwilling to be angry just because he wouldn’t tell me where the deep ugly scar on his back had come from.
Will stared at me until I couldn’t take anymore.
”What? What are you looking at?”
He glanced away and then back again, his eyes honing in on mine. “You have the most amazing eyes I’ve ever seen.” His cheeks flushed a shade darker in the dim light. “The green of your shirt and the candlelight seem to add to the iridescent quality. They’re almost glowing. They’re really beautiful, Lily.”
I hadn’t expected that. My chest tightened. I was so used to having to hide my eyes…hide who I was…I couldn’t form words.
Will saved us both as he lifted the last of the crackers and held it out to me. “The last one’s yours if you want it.”
There he was again,
being all noble and thoughtful. The gesture only made my chest tighter and my throat burn. I broke the cracker in half and handed a piece back to him. “Stop making this harder than it has to be.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You know perfectly well what I mean. You can’t be a sneaky traitor one minute and then a…nice guy the next. You’re making it very difficult to…stay mad at you.”
He gave me a crooked grin that sent my heart plummeting again. “So would you rather I just act like a total jerk all the time?”
My jaw dropped and then closed. I narrowed my eyes at him. “Oh, just eat your cracker.”
Will grinned and stuffed his half into his mouth. It was almost daylight by the time we finished eating and discussing our journey thus far. He explained how the tide carried him down river, and that by the time he had recovered the pack and made it to the docks, I was gone. He managed to escape the Guardians who scoured the town at every turn. Whether they were looking for us or just on patrol, Will couldn’t take the chance of getting caught, so he’d moved on to plan B, which was for us to meet at the safe house, lay low for a day, and then venture on to Claverack the next night where he would leave me to continue on alone. From there, it was likely I’d be able to hitch a ride with someone back toward Stanton or maybe even meet the caravan on their way through.
As dawn approached, I yawned heavily. “Should we take turns standing guard while the other sleeps?” I asked.
“I don’t think that’s necessary. But I do think we should stay together.” He blinked his eyes at me innocently.
“I bet you do.” My hands went to my hips. “I suppose you think it would be safer to share the same bed, too, right?”
“We could flip for it, but I wouldn’t say no to a warm bed and a nice soft mattress, and since there’s only one…but if you’d rather, I’ll sleep on the floor in one of the other rooms.” His voice grew softer as he looked down at his feet. “I just thought…with those bad dreams of yours, it might help to have someone close by.”
“How do you know…?”
“I heard you that last night back at your house. You screamed like you’d had the skin pulled off your bones.” He looked up at me, his eyes shimmering with understanding. “I wanted to come to your room but…well…I didn’t think Sam would appreciate finding you and me…alone together.”
My heart stopped and then my pulse thundered in my ears. “I…I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t need to explain. I have dreams like that too.” In that moment I realized it was Will who didn’t want to be alone. “I promise I won’t do anything…” he swallowed hard and looked away. I felt my resolve crumble. If I knew one thing about Will, it was that I could trust him not to hurt me—physically, at least. I nodded consent.
We took the big room with the queen-sized bed, the only other mattress being not much more than a tattered, mouse-eaten remnant in one of the smaller rooms.
We shook out the dusty blankets and climbed under the covers, both still dressed, though Will had taken off his shirt. As the gray of a cloudy morning seeped through the window shade, I lay still, my back against Will’s front, his arms strong and steady around me. His breath on my hair felt warm and reassuring, and he smelled of minty toothpaste and jam. At the same time, his proximity and the sensations that it brought coursing through my body had my head swimming and made it impossible to sleep. I lay silently listening to the raindrops as they pinged on the metal roof.
“It was at the work camp,” he broke the silence, speaking low over the sound of the rain, his voice whispering along my skin. “I’d been there for a few months. They pretty much starved us, expected us not to complain, and worked us for fifteen hours a day, repairing roads and bridges in Providence. It wasn’t the worst of jobs, but it was tough to keep going day after day with so little food.” Will’s voice hovered over my ear as he recounted the story. I listened intently, afraid if I took a breath he would stop, and equally afraid he would continue.
“Anyway, I collapsed one day, refused to get up, and the guard…beat me pretty soundly. He wanted to make an example of me, I suppose. When I couldn’t even move to get up, he used a length of steel cable….”
“Oh, Will…I’m so sorry.”
He rubbed his hand up and down my arm, a soothing gesture meant for him as much as for me. “They left me alone for a few days in the barracks, but as soon as I was healed up, they put me right back out on the crew. That’s when Agent Marx showed up. I was so happy to have a chance to get out of there…when he said he could get me to my father…I thought I’d lucked out in a big way.” His voice sounded strained. “I didn’t know…I swear I didn’t…”
I turned and wrapped my arms tight around him, my face buried in his chest as he let the tears come. “I know. I get it, Will. You don’t have to explain any more…not to me.”
I let my own tears flow, my heart aching for all he’d been through. How could I say goodbye to this boy who had so completely taken over my thoughts and scrambled my emotions like an omelet? Where would he go? What would he do? He was all alone in the world and had no one. He was on a hopeless trail that would likely lead him to his death and there was nothing I could do.
We lay like that for a long time, until we’d both run out of tears. Part of me—the part that wanted to see him as my enemy—reminded me not to care. But as he pulled me in closer, snuggled his cheek against my ear, and whispered, “Sleep well, Lily,” I felt my armor crack…just a little more. Because no matter what he’d done, I felt safer in his arms than I’d felt in a very long time.