Andrew peeked through the slit in the blinds he gingerly held open with two fingers on his right hand. Watching in the dark, silent and still, he studied the movements of the man across the street. He looked to be in his late thirties or early forties, a bit older than Andrew. His sandy blonde hair glistened in the summer sunlight, and his tan, clean-shaven face grimaced and beaded with sweat. The man’s snug t-shirt did little to hide the flexing muscles underneath as he worked tirelessly, struggling to carry out his agenda. Andrew wasn’t sure what to do. Should he make a move or wait for a better opportunity?
Unsure what to do, Andrew reached to his left, not taking his eyes off his target. His left hand pawed around in the dark, finding nothing but empty air until the skin on his palm grazed the object of his desire. He felt himself relax as his hand wrapped around cold metal. Slowly raising the object, he prepared himself…this was going to be sweet.
Suddenly the lights flicked on and a voice startled Andrew as he quickly let the blinds shut and fell backwards from his crouching position and onto his butt. He glared at the woman the voice belonged to.
“Andrew Dean, what are you doing in here in the dark?” Andrew picked up his overturned, metal travel mug off the floor, delighted to find it still contained some Mountain Dew Code Red. Glancing at the carpet, he saw a red stain left from what had spilled from the cup. Oh crud, Andrew thought. When it came to the house, especially the carpets, his wife was completely anal…and not in a good way. She would kill him if she saw the stain. He shifted to his left to obstruct his wife’s view of the stain before responding.
“Well my dear Ellen, I was watching our new neighbor struggle with a very large box from his moving truck, trying to decide if I should go help him and introduce myself. But now I am defending my actions to you and trying to calm my frazzled nerves from your abrupt, and very rude I might add, entrance.” He put the mug to his lips, tipped it back, and felt the cold, refreshing burn of his favorite drink fill his mouth. After guzzling to his heart’s glee, he wiped the back of his forearm across his mouth and let out a satisfied sigh. Ellen just rolled her eyes, trying to hide a smile.
“You are such a weirdo…and a creeper. I’ve told you not to watch people through the blinds, especially in the dark. Now get your butt over there and just say hi already, please. That way we can get on with our day.” Andrew shot to his feet, embracing his wife as he towered over her. At six foot, he was a good foot taller than his blushing bride. He gave her a kiss and rubbed his nose into her soft, red hair, breathing in the intoxicating aroma of salon shampoo.
“Point taken, my lovely, fair-haired maiden. No more creeping, except on you of course. Most likely while you suntan…and shower.” She huffed and slapped his arm, pushing him past her. As she turned to follow him, the soda stain on the carpet caught her eye and she literally saw red. Clenching her fists, she let out a scream of rage.
“Annndrewww!” He hurried out the front door and across the street, stifling a laugh as he made his way towards his newest neighbor.