Read What To Do If Trapped In A Lift With A Dentist Page 6
themselves
on not using 'the n-word' or 'the p-word'
and think that they have solved racism
Just because you don't talk about something
doesn't mean it ceases to exist
Prejudice and hate are not leprechauns
they are viruses
They don't fade away if ignored
they have to be dealt with
Deal with them openly
in a free market
Meanwhile, I reserve the right to disagree with your ideas
and I reserve the right to express ideas you may disagree with
that's called democracy
If I express something genuinely hateful
I will be admonished for it
and most people will turn against me
but I should not and will not be admonished
because someone disagrees with my ideas and values
There is and never will be
a universally agreed
set of moral principles
so we have to
accommodate each other
So long as I'm not harming you
and you're not harming me
then why can't we just
let each other be
and live in a world
of peace and harmony?
GET A LIFE
Do I have to live
life as it's been planned
childhood draws the map
freewill has been banned
I am not like you
I just can't accept
this is all there is
people so inept
we're all free to change
ourselves any time
sentence living death
but what was the crime?
Get a life
future in your hands
past all in you minds
so get a life
Define yourself as is
not as you once were
it's you who calls the shots
of that you can be sure
no one else knows what
is inside your head
follow your own mind
cos too soon we're all dead
No one else's opinions
matter when they say
things you know are false
so don't be lead astray
decide on you own path
and follow to the end
cos no one's walking with you
it's all just cruel pretend
No one knows each other
we can't communicate
except in black and white
and good and bad and love and hate
so banish useless stereotypes
put precedent in the bin
cos the past is killing us
the deadliest of all sin
Written by the winning side
all history is lies
so let's live in the present
lift the wool from our eyes
deal with individuals
not what you expect
think about all situations
and we can all get a life
ITEMS YOU SHOULD AVOID BUYING AT A CAR BOOT SALE
2nd hand underwear
a human spleen
foreign children
sight unseen
wigs that move
food priced in shillings
any sandwiches
with unidentifiable fillings
soiled bandages
clothes from an orange bag
cars with bullet holes
a swastika flag
packets of medication
adorned with foreign writing
mobile phones with
video footage of fighting
shoes that smell
of camonbere or bree
laptops stamped
'property of the M.O.D.'
KNOWLEDGE
Knowledge
is not
intelligence
intelligence
is thinking
for yourself
knowledge
is resurecting
the thoughts of others
history
is a corpse
leave it alone
it teaches us nothing
except how to repeat past mistakes
again and again and again
WAR
War
what is it good for?
Reinvigorating depressed economies
and winning elections
MIDDLE CLASS LAND
Some live in middle class land
with pensions a prime concern
conversations about investments
with high yield return
they'll move to another county
so Tarquin can have a good school
and grow up and work in the city
and join an investment pool
they drive their 2.4 volvos
around the corner to the shops
I'd like to give them a really
good smack around the chops
NO FUN IN MISERY
When I was thirteen
I thought my life was over
I locked myself in the bathroom
And cut myself with a razor blade
A sharp dose of reality
101 in negativity
But that path was not for me
There's no fun in misery
I really thought I would die in there
So I put on side two of a favourite album
The first song talked of heaven
And I cried 'cos I knew there was no such place
A sharp dose of reality
I thought in oblivion I'd be free
But that way lies insanity
There's no fun in misery
Depression was never a lifestyle choice
I never wore black or painted my face
It never made me more interesting
Just more annoying to be around
A sharp dose of reality
I wanted to see my blood run free
But I'm very squeamish, luckily
So I stepped back from stupidity
No prescribed identity
I have centre of gravity
Freewill and integrity
Know your own mind and you'll be free
OPTIONS
For sarcasm press 1
For irony press 2
For intransigence press 3
For insults press 4
For incomprehensible technical support press 5
To speak to somebody helpful
Press the hash key
Whereupon you will be given a list of alternative service providers
with a less ridiculous automated phone system
PERSPECTIVE
There are seven billion people on this planet
There are more stars in our galaxy
There are billions of galaxies
There are a hundred undiscovered species
for every square meter of ocean
The planet is four and a half billion years old
Humans have been here for a couple of million years
What makes you think we're special?
Yes, I know, we're the only species
that study the Universe
we've created societies and systems
we're the only ones with self-awareness and higher consciousness
but what have we done with it?
What have you done today with your higher consciousness?
Watched the telly?
Had an argument?
Made a sandwich?
Started a war?
If we're a species apart
then why do we behave like animals?
Because we are animals
we're monkeys with delusions
In anthropocentric ignorance
we treat the world as if it's been put here for our benefit
&
nbsp; It was here long before us
and it'll be here long after we've been snuffed out
or snuffed ourselves out
We cannot get perspective on our consciousness
because we view everything through our consciousness
and you cannot view a microscope through itself
Even if most people no longer think we're the centre of the Universe
many still think we're the most important species on the planet
We are not. We are just another species of microbe
bundles of protein in fancy dress
PASSING TIME
Passing water
is a polite euphemism
and so is passing time.
Pissing your life away
what a wasteful crime.
PROGRESS?
We managed perfectly well
without mobile phones and websites
How much more stuff
will the future bring us
that we don't really need?
All they do is feed
our misguided idea
that all progress is positive
no matter how dear
the cost turns out to be
for society
for you and me
eventually
INSIDE
Rain at the window
I'm here in my room
It's like a cocoon
A comforting womb
But I'm going out soon
so I'll need my umbrella
RANDOM THOUGHTS IN THE MIND OF A BORED TEENAGER IN 1989
Milk cartons
Terry and June
Happy Birthday
see you soon
weathermen
salt n shake crisps
Giles Brandreth
things that don't rhyme
Keith Chegwin
Anneka Rice
BBC Micros
Fire and ice
alcohol free lager
French cheeses
Citreon 2CVs
antisocial sneezes
graphic equalisers
black bow ties
Arthur Neagus
Ceri's thighs
nurses uniforms
soup in a cup
trying to finish this poem
without giving...
SEMANTICS
Once on the way home from school
I made the mistake of referring to my walkman
and a friend pointed out
that I should not call it that
because only those made by Sony are 'walkmen'
and mine was a different brand
"What is this then?" I asked
waving it at him
"A personal stereo," he said
"Is there any need to be that pedantic?" I inquired
"It's not a Walkman, it's a personal stereo" he repeated
It occurs to me that we cannot have been
the only ones to have ever had this pointless conversation
I expect that more recently
some younger people have had a similar conversation
regarding the i-pod/mp3 player situation
THE ALL TOO COMMON ROOM
Where do you go when you're bored out of your mind
There's nothing to do, as you will soon find
If you're looking for an atmosphere of gloom
Look no further than St. Cyres common room
It's always full of people killing time
It really is a dump, it really is a crime
Do they just let us in this awful place?
No, they make us prefects to save their face
THE FUTILITY OF FIRE DRILLS
There's going to be a fire drill in a minute.
I've put all my stuff away
and now I'm waiting...
waiting...
What is the point?
We all know there's going to be a fire drill
so there's no