Jack knew that it was going to be a while before he got a turn. This was Tuesday and that was the day for the ladies luncheon. Before the evening was over Jack would know everything he wanted to know about the other ladies in the group and even many things that he didn’t want to know. The hard part was to pretend that he was listening and still hear what she was saying. Melody had long since figured out his “yes dears, and nodding head motions,” but Jack had learned what key phrases that she would be looking for to signify that he was listening. “Sylvia got a new hair style was one of the good ones, and then there was, Sheriff Bill’s wife bought a new set of glassware, the clincher in the conversation was Susan left ____ for _____. After years of practice Jack had gotten good at listening for these phrases; although he did confuse them once and had Sylvia leaving Sheriff Bill. That caused a whole ruckus because Melody thought her husband had heard some bit of gossip before she had and if Jack had not backtracked on his statement it would not have been long before the queen of gossip would have sent that news out across the airwaves.
“You didn’t tell me that they had spiders for waiters.” “It was supposed to be a surprise, my dear.” “Well you know that I can’t stand spiders, they think they are so much better than we are, and they used to eat us.” “That was long ago before the peace treaty.” “I still don’t trust them, did you see the way that our waiter was eying me?” “I’m sure that it was nothing.” “So you think I am imagining what I saw.” “That isn’t what I said.” “That’s what you meant.” I could see that something bad was brewing here and so my next response was: “I love you””Don’t change the subject.” “I love you” “What did you mean, it was nothing?” “I love you” I demand that you defend my honor.” Now I was in trouble, what was I to do? “Some strange spider insults me with a look of indecent origin and you say it was nothing, and then you say that it was my imagination. Well, say something, what are you a fly or a human?” “I think…” “You don’t love me; if you loved me you would be fighting that spider right now instead of thinking.” “Let’s be logical Melody.” “Oh, now I’m being illogical am I, well either you confront that evil spider and fight with him to defend my honor or I am going home to mother and taking the kids with me. I am faced with quite a dilemma here. If I fight the spider then I most certainly will lose, but if I do not then she will go home to her mother and take the kids with her. I really love her and I love my kids, perhaps if I do nothing she will be gone long enough to cool down and then when she realizes that we can’t be apart she will come back home.
While I was sitting there thinking Melody flew away with a trail of smoke following her. “She was really mad,” said the spider. “She said that you were eying her.” “I was””You fiend,” I said as I slapped the spider on the face.
Power Play
The argument was the same as it had always been and it didn’t seem as though it was going to change anytime soon. “Why do I have to be third in line?” questioned the letter C. “That is your place and will always be your place.” Letter A stated firmly. Back and forth this constant squabbling went on; day after day and night after night; and it never ended. There was Letter B stuck in the middle of the argument, trying to settle the conflict. “Couldn’t you just let C lead for a short while?” “No, he might enjoy it.”
Narrator: “Okay guys how long have you known each other?”
Letter A: “For as long as I can remember.”
Narrator: “How long have you letters been fighting over this issue of leadership?”
Letter A: “About a year now.”
Narrator: “Couldn’t you just let C be first for one day?”
Letter A: “If I did and he liked it, then what is to say he would give the lead back to me?”
Narrator: “A written contract would do the trick.”
Letter B: “Hey I suggested that once and A or C would not agree to it.”
Letter C: “If you don’t let me be lead for one year then I am going to quit.”
Narrator: “Wait a minute; we are talking about one day here, not a year.”
Letter C: “One year, 365 days from today or no deal.”
Letter B: “You can’t quit, what about all of the words that count on you?”
Letter C: “That is not going to be my problem.”
Narrator: “What about teamwork and tradition? If you were to take the lead role C, millions of people would have to learn a new alphabet. Thousands and thousands of school books would have to be changed at a cost that would bankrupt the economy.
Letter C: “Again, that is not my problem.” “What if you had to be third all of the time, would you like it?
Letter F: “Hey did you hear the scoop, C is quitting.”
Letter Z: “Why would he do that?”
Letter J: “He wants to be first and A won’t let him.”
Letter M: “A has always been first.”
Letter O: “I know, doesn’t C realize that he is in the place where the creator put him?”
Letter R: “Sounds like rebellion to me.”
Letter E: “Evil thoughts that what causes this type of trouble.”
Letter Z: “You know what; I’m tired of being last. I think that I want to be first.”
Letter I: “Hey Z, Why don’t you be third and let C be first?”
Letter Z: “Then where does that put A?”
Letter F: “He gets to be last.”
Letter Z: “He wouldn’t go for that one in a million years.”
Letter Q: “Why don’t we just get into a big cup and get shaken around and then dumped out on a table and whoever is the closest to the left gets to be first?”
Letter T: “Q you have been playing “Scrabble” for too long.”
Letter D: “Quiet everyone her comes C.”
Letter S: “Hey C, how goes things?”
Letter C: “Ok, I guess; why do you ask?”
Letter S: “Just being polite, you don’t have to be such a grump. I got a new sweater see and look there on my left sleeve is the number 19.”
Letter C: “And just what is that supposed to mean?”
Letter X: “Hey you know that S she is always bragging about something new that she has.”
Letter Y: “What’s the matter C, trouble at the top?”
Letter C: “Just leave me alone.” C walks away from the group muttering something about “I’ll show them.”
Letter W: “Good job Y, remember what D said.”
Letter Y: “Sorry but C has got to remember to be satisfied and do his best in the position that he is in. Everything must be done in order or else nothing works right.
Letter V: “I heard that B started all of this because he was tired of being in the middle of A and C and if C were to take out A in battle then B would have dibs on lead letter.”
Letter K: “That is not how the system is designed.”
Letter U: “Well what is the contingency plan if something like this occurs?”
Letter P: “I don’t think that there is one, there has never been a need for one.”
Letter L: “Not until now, that is. We need to have a conference with A and see what he is doing about this act of rebellion.”
Letter G: “I’m calling him at this moment. Hello A, this is G listen we other letters have heard that C is quitting the alphabet. He can’t quit, doesn’t he realize that he is very important to many words. So he is quitting and taking his little brother with him. Is there no one that can stop him?
Narrator: “Listen to me C; while you may be third on the alphabet list you are first in a lot of words. There is the word Car, Cow, Caravan, Climate, Clock, and Cookie; you are important to the alphabet. Imagine for a moment if there were no Letter C; Car would be ar, Cow would be ow, a Caravan would be called an aravan, a Clock would be a lock and that would not help boys and girls learn to tell time. Think about this one, a cookie would be an ookie and I’m sorry no one want
s to eat an ookie. Thousands of words would be misspelled and spell check programs across the world would go berserk.
Letter C: “That is not my problem, you know what my demands are, and you have 24 hours to comply with them.”
Letter F: “What does H have to say on this matter?
Letter P: “He hasn’t said much, he only cries and cries.”
Letter B: “Don’t we have some sort of contract that we have to abide by to prevent C from quitting?”
Narrator: “I have not been able to locate one anywhere, I am afraid that if C leaves there is nothing we can do to stop him from going. If that happens, D you will move to the third spot and the rest of the letters will move forward also.
Letter B: “I heard the stress of this was weakening A’s heart and he might not make it through the night.”
Letter V: “That was all part of your plan wasn’t it.”
Letter B: “I’m sure that I don’t know what you are talking about.”
Letter V: “If something happens and A can’t fulfill his role as leader you automatically become head letter.”
Letter B: “I assure you that I had nothing to do with this mess, remember I tried to get A to let C have the lead role from the beginning.”
Letter V: “I’m just saying that out of all the letters you have the greatest motive to get C and A moved out of the alphabet.”
Letter B: “Strictly circumstantial evidence V and nothing more than that.”
Narrator: and on the other side of the room while this debate was going on another one was brewing in scholastic land.
Number 4: “Hey I