“No crossed veins.”
“Cross your heart and hope to die?”
“Cross my heart and hope to die.”
“Swear on your mother?”
“On my mother.”
“What did you say to her?”
“I said the LFFFFH was watching over her.”
“The what?”
“The Foreign Legion Force of Forgotten French Heroes.”
“You said LFFFFH.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Frankie, it doesn’t work out right. The-T, Foreign-F, Legion-L —”
“Come on, Mario!”
“What else did you say to her?”
“That we’re going to look after her.”
“We are?”
“The F and so on. That’s what heroes do, help people in distress.”
“Maybe she can help herself.”
“Mario, if people could help themselves, they wouldn’t have invented heroes, right? She needs Chet Barker. And you, Skipper O’Malley, my faithful sidekick.”
“How we going to do it?”
“On the way home I figured out a whole plot.”
“You did?”
“One of the things heroes do is get the guy and the girl together, right?”
“Yeah….”
“So, first, I figured that if we could get Miss Gomez married with Tom, he wouldn’t be so unhappy.”
“But you said he doesn’t want to see anybody.”
“I’ll figure something. Okay, after they get together, since she’d be my relative, I wouldn’t get into any school trouble.”
“How come?”
“Her husband — that would be Tom — wouldn’t let her treat me bad. But here’s the best part. See, they couldn’t get married unless they had a place to live, right? Okay, so they would have to get out of my room because it’s too small. Okay? Well, that means they would want to move into Tom’s old room. Because it’s bigger. Except that means we have to get Mr. Swerdlow out first, which is good. Because if Tom and Miss Gomez get married, they wouldn’t have time to do much except, you know, talk to each other and, you know, stuff.”
“Oh, wow!”
“So, the way the adventure ends is, I get the radio.”
“Frankie, that’s so neat. How did you get it so it works like that?”
“Miss Gomez says I have a lot of potential.”
“I wish I could make up stories like that.”
“This isn’t merely a story, Skipper. It’s what every real red-blooded American boy wants. A chance to help others in a selfless quest for justice and the triumph of the Allied forces, because nowhere in the pages of history can one find greater champions of justice. Are you with me?”
“I don’t know….”
“I tell you, Skipper, this will be our toughest case. Crack this one, and every public enemy in America will live in constant fear. But wait a minute!”
“What?”
“ ‘Green Hornet’ time.”
“The Green Hornet!
“He hunts the biggest of all game, public enemies who try to destroy our America.
“With his faithful valet, Kato, Britt Reid, daring young publisher, matches wits with the underworld, risking his life that criminals and racketeers within the law may feel its weight by the sting of the Green Hornet!
“This program is brought to you by the makers of Ovaltine, the famous food drink that is a favorite with millions of Americans, young and old. Ovaltine is a favorite food drink for two reasons. First, because it’s so downright good. You’ll love its rich, satisfying flavor. So different from any other drink you ever tasted. And you’ll never grow tired of it. Second, because Ovaltine is so good for you. It brings you loads and loads of valuable vitamins, minerals, and other vital food elements that help build strong, healthy bodies, gives you the pep and energy to be wide awake and husky.
“So tell Mother you’d like to start drinking Ovaltine every single day.
“And now, ride with Britt Reid in the thrilling adventure Woman in the Case! The Green Hornet strikes again!”
“SAY, TOM?”
“What’s that?”
“How come you’re always just lying back on your bed, listening to that love-stuff music and smoking cigarettes?”
“I like it.”
“But it’s kind of … sappy, isn’t it?”
“It’s okay.”
“You know, ‘The Lone Ranger’ has great music.”
“This is okay.”
“Does your leg still hurt?”
“A bit.”
“That still the reason you don’t go anywhere or see anyone?”
“I just don’t feel like it.”
“You know what you could do?”
“What?”
“Put a sword in your crutch.”
“A what?”
“A sword. In case you get attacked.”
“The war’s there, Frankie. Not here.”
“What about guys in the rackets?”
“Oh, sure….”
“They’re all around us, you know.”
“If you say so.”
“I mean, like Mr. Swerdlow —”
“Frankie, nothing’s wrong with Mr. Swerdlow.”
“Tom, did you ever talk to him?”
“Sure.”
“Well?”
“He’s just an ordinary guy.”
“That’s only what he wants you to think. Tom?”
“What?”
“I wish you’d tell me what it was like.”
“What’s that?”
“You know … the war and all.”
“Sometime.”
“Steve Trentman’s dad just got out of the army. Nelly Ubell’s did too. He was telling the kids all about it. Really neat stuff too. About —”
“Come on, kiddo, scoot. I want to listen to this music.”
“Tom?”
“What?”
“Can I ask you one more thing? Something really important.”
“Depends.”
“Do you have a woman in the case?”
“A what?”
“You know, a girlfriend.”
“Frankie, do me a favor and get lost.”
“I mean, some heroes are allowed to have one, right?”
“Go.”
“Iceman has one, Pixy Fontane. Tom, you know what I figured out? He’s twelve thousand one hundred and twenty-one years older than she is, and they get along swell.”
“Out!”
“ALL RIGHT, class. Today, in geography, we’re going to start a whole new project. As I told you, each of you will pick a country and do a project on it. Remember, I asked you to read in your geography books and think about which country you’d like to do. Perhaps some of you have already made up your minds. Yes, Henry?”
“Can I do Russia?”
“Well, yes. One of our allies. What makes you interested in Russia?”
“I like Russia.”
“Well, then, good idea. Yes, Bette?”
“Can I do Mexico?”
“Our next-door neighbor. And what makes you want to do Mexico, Bette?”
“It’s warm there. I don’t like being cold.”
“Fine. Franklin! Nice to see your hand up. What country would you like?”
“Transylvania.”
“Transylvania?”
“Yeah.”
“Franklin, I believe Transylvania is a region of Romania, not a country.”
“But that’s where Dracula comes from.”
“Class! Franklin Wattleson, you may go stand in the corner.”
“And its principal product is blood.”
“And you will stay after school.”
“FRANKLIN …”
“Yes, Miss Gomez.”
“What am I going to do with you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Franklin, if your behavior doesn’t improve — and improve fast — I’ll tell you what’s going to happen.”
/> “What?”
“You’re going to repeat sixth grade.”
“You mean … be left back?”
“Yes, left back.”
“Oh.”
“How do you think your parents would feel if I called them and told them that?”
“I told you — we don’t have a phone.”
“I could always visit.”
“If you did, it would be a good time for me to haul my freight out of here.”
“Where do you get these expressions?”
“Radio.”
“Franklin, I am trying to talk to you seriously.”
“If I got left back, would you be my teacher again?”
“Not likely.”
“Why?”
“Franklin, I want you to consider what I’ve been saying. It’s important. Being left back means a whole year wasted. You don’t want to get stuck, do you? Life will pass you by. People should move ahead. Accept disappointments and look to the future. Now I want you to think about that for a moment, then tell me your thoughts.”
“Miss Gomez?”
“Yes?”
“I’ve thought about it.”
“That was very quick.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“That depends….”
“It’s about accepting disappointments and looking to the future.”
“Fine. What about it?”
“Do you have another boyfriend yet?”
“Franklin!”
“Do you?”
“Franklin Wattleson, do you want me to visit your parents?”
“Well …”
“Then not another word!”
“Miss Gomez?”
“Franklin, I’m trying to grade papers.”
“Can I speak?”
“Is it important?”
“The fate of the entire universe depends on it.”
“Go ahead, then.”
“Maybe I could get my parents to call you. Then you wouldn’t have to visit.”
“Do you think they would call?”
“If I said you wanted them to.”
“I’d be happy to talk to them. They can reach me here, at school, after three.”
“They both work.”
“I thought it was just your father.”
“My mother’s thinking about the war effort.”
“I suppose I could give you my home number.”
“It would save you a visit….”
“Very well, I will.”
“FRANKIE, why are you home so late?”
“Miss Gomez kept me after school.”
“It’s nice you come home to sleep….”
“You know what, Ma? I think she likes talking to me.”
“Don’t flatter yourself.”
“Honest. She does. Because she’s a lonely, desperate woman and I think she finds me interesting.”
“Frankie!”
“I take her mind off what’s bothering her.”
“What’s bothering her?”
“Her boyfriend got killed. Can I ask you something?”
“What?”
“How’d you meet Pop?”
“What kind of a question is that?”
“I’m curious.”
“We were introduced.”
“By who?”
“My brother.”
“Uncle Charley?”
“Yes.”
“Ma?”
“What?”
“What happened to Uncle Charley?”
“Nothing.”
“Did Mr. Swerdlow have anything to do with it?”
“Don’t be absurd.”
“Well, then, where’d Uncle Charley go?”
“Somewhere.”
“I know that. But where?”
“Curiosity killed the cat.”
“Satisfaction brought him back. Is he dead?”
“I don’t believe so.”
“Think he’ll ever come here again?”
“I … I don’t know.”
“You don’t? Why?”
“Frankie …”
“Ma, please tell me! In the basement — the wires and the radio stuff, and the codes — was he on some secret mission? Or … he wasn’t an enemy spy, was he?”
“Franklin! Don’t even think such a thing!”
“Just asking.”
“Frankie, please go and do your homework.”
“You want to know what I think? I think telling me to do homework is your way of saying you don’t want to answer me. What are you making?”
“Apple dumplings.”
“Can I have one?”
“When I’m done. Now, just go.”
“MARIO, we’ve got to act fast.”
“About what?”
“Our plot. I’m going to be in big trouble if we don’t.”
“How come?”
“Miss Gomez is going to leave me back. She even gave me her number so my parents could call her.”
“Did they?”
“You crazy? Think I’d give her number to them?”
“Come on, Frankie, she didn’t give you her number.”
“Here it is.”
“I bet you stole it.”
“I did not!”
“Frankie, adults don’t like it when kids mess around with them.”
“You know what your problem is, Mario?”
“What?”
“You don’t have faith in the American way.”
“I do too!”
“The American way means fighting for what’s important. And it’s important that I have my own radio, right? Well, I just have to work harder.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Skipper, I’ve been doing some snooping around. Laying the groundwork. But now, it’s time.”
“Time for what?”
“Time to go down to Pearlman’s so we can telephone Miss Gomez.”
“Are you kidding?”
“Skipper, I don’t reckon I’ve ever been more serious in my whole life. The future of the entire universe is at stake.”
“IT’S HOT in this phone booth.”
“Mario, just give me that nickel.”
“Frankie, you’re going to get us into terrible trouble.”
“Heroes take chances. Shhh! It’s ringing.”
“Hello?”
“Is this Miss Gomez?”
“Yes.”
“This is the French Force of Lost Foreign and Forgotten Heroes. The F-F … Mario!”
“L.”
“L.”
“F.”
“F.”
“F.”
“F.”
“H.”
“H.”
“The what? Who is this?”
“Chet Barker, Masked Avenger.”
“Who?”
“Don’t worry. We still intend to help!”
“Help what?”
“Accept disappointment and look —”
“What happened?”
“She hung up.”
“Frankie, I feel sick. I’m going home.”
“OH, HI, Mr. Swerdlow.”
“Good evening, Frankie.”
“Think it’ll rain?”
“Not a cloud in the sky, Frankie.”
“Don’t be fooled, Mr. Swerdlow. A storm could strike just as quick and deadly as the Silver Fox.”
“Ah … good-night.”
“Mr. Swerdlow?”
“Yes, Frankie.”
“Want me to carry your package?”
“Thanks. I can manage.”
“CHET BARKER calling sidekick Skipper O’Malley! Come in, Skip. Come in, please. This is urgent!”
“What is it?”
“Meet me out front!”
“Why?”
“Swerdlow just brought a package home.”
“FRANKIE, I don’t know. Maybe it is just a package.”
“Mario, the last time we saw him he was getting into the backseat
of a car that belonged to the Dark Hand Gang, right?”
“You made that up.”
“Then the next time we see him he has a package.”
“It was days apart!”
“The thing is, it could have loot in it. Or a bomb. Or secret plans. All we have to do is find out, get the info to the FBI, and we’ll be heroes, right?”
“I suppose.”
“And see, Mr. Swerdlow would have to move out, right?”
“Yeah …”
“Which is the first part of our plot, isn’t it? Skipper, somebody has been listening to our prayers.”
“I’m not going into his room again.”
“Got it!”
“Got what?”
“Wheat Chips presents Chet Barker, the masked super spy, along with his always faithful and loyal sidekick, Skipper O’Malley. The world thinks they’re just Frankie and Mario. But the criminal underworld fears them as Chet Barker and Skipper O’Malley, two gallant and resourceful boys who struggle increasingly against the sinister forces of evil. Tonight, the Adventure of the Apple Dumpling!”
“HEY, MA …”
“What is it? Oh, hello, Mario. How are you? How’s your mother?”
“She’s working.”
“You say hello to her for me, will you? I never get to see her anymore.”
“I don’t get to see her much either, Mrs. Wattleson.”
“What is it, Frankie?”
“Mom, are there any more apple dumplings left?”
“A couple. Why?”
“Could I bring one to Mr. Swerdlow?”
“Well … what makes you think of that?”
“He just came home. And I said hello, and he said hello. But remember that time Mario and I were looking at the skeleton in his closet?”
“Yes, and I told you —”
“I think he’s still mad at us. So, I thought if we could bring him one of those dumplings and say we’re sorry again —”
“Oh. That is a nice thought. I bet that was Mario’s idea.”
“Oh, no, Mrs. Wattleson. It’s Frankie’s.”
“Well, it’s nice. Frankie, I like it when you’re considerate of other people. Here, take this one. It’s the best.”
“OKAY, SKIPPER, we’ve got the hypnotic pill.”
“Where?”
“The dumpling, dummy!”
“What’ll it do?”
“It’ll cloud the mind of that murdering polecat and make him reveal the mysterious contents of the package. Now all we have to do is parachute down into his Nazi bunker. It’s a thousand feet underground. You say, ‘I’m right with you, Chet.’ ”