“He’s never forgiven me for telling you about Stella, and about the shootings. I’ve never regretted it, just so you know. He was my friend once, but you’ve been there for me…” He blows a long breath out. “Well, you know how I feel about you. I couldn’t leave you in the dark like that.”
I put my hand on his arm. “I’m grateful for that.”
He looks at me, fear swirling in his eyes. “He’s obsessed with you, Lilith.”
“He’s been quiet for two years,” I insist.
“The Santellis never let anything go.” He looks away and I step closer to him and lean my head against his.
“Work out whatever this is with Nico. Make your peace with one another. It’s the only way.”
“I have too much on him to make any peace, Lilith.” He rubs my back and I hear all that he isn’t saying.
My heart pounds in acknowledgment and I back away, nodding. I kiss his cheek and he turns and gives me a long kiss.
“Sure you can’t stay a little longer?” he asks when I pull away.
I roll my eyes and pat his face. “Your wife,” I repeat. “She’s beautiful, Bentley. Treat her right. I’ll always be your friend, but you don’t need me anymore.”
“I need you more than ever.” His shoulders drop and he kisses my cheek, lingering there for a moment.
I give him one more glance before I leave his office and walk down the hall, passing Lori. She scowls. I stop at her desk and a tiny bead of sweat pops out on her forehead.
“Next time we can paint nails and braid each other’s hair,” I say. “Later.”
I’m calm as I ride back to the house. Somewhere between panic and dealing with Lori, I got some of my backbone back. I don’t believe Nico’s obsessed with me. He didn’t even fight for me when I broke up with him … and he’s never had any shortage of women. He was probably just trying to intimidate me earlier and doesn’t intend to keep strong-arming me. With anyone else, if I was shown such disrespect and a forceful hand, I’d only have to say the word and they wouldn’t be allowed back in the house. Whatever has Nico breathing down my neck again, I’m done. I won’t put up with any threats from him. I’ve survived too long in this cutthroat city to be afraid of any man.
Some of my favorite memories with Nico were in the early days, when we’d track down old books in our favorite bookstores. We’d go to Jackson Square and sit in the grass, reading the day away. It’s hard to reconcile the man I saw today with that man who’d laugh so hard when I tried to read aloud in different accents. I thought he loved me then, which is a joke to think about now. Neither of us have ever known anything about love.
A few pedestrians step out in front of the driver and he brakes hard. I grab the front of the seat and look out the window to make sure everyone is okay. No harm done. I must have passed it hundreds of times, but it’s just now on my radar: we’re stopped in front of the community center. A crowd has gathered to watch a basketball game. I look for Soti, but I don’t see him. I wonder if he’s as decent as he seems. No man ever is.
There’s a tug in my chest when we pull away. When we stop a few blocks later, I reluctantly climb out of the car and walk toward Maison D’amour. I’ve never dreaded going inside so much. I try to muster up that earlier boldness and barge in the door. When I reach my bedroom, I storm inside. My mom stands up. I open my closet door. No sign of Nico.
“Where is he?”
“Gone.”
I sit on the bed to catch my breath and study my mother. “What have you gotten us into?”
“I—” She paces in front of the windows, wringing her hands. “I need you to try to understand, honey…”
“You never ‘honey’ me—don’t start now. What does he have on you?”
She keeps walking. “I promise I’ll tell you everything soon. I just need you to keep seeing him while I get things sorted out.”
“I’m not seeing him again,” I say firmly. “He’s a different man now. I knew he was changing, which is part of why I got out before I had to witness it.”
I stand up and move in front of her. I’m nearly a foot taller than she is—my dad must have been tall. I wouldn’t know—and I don’t think she knows either.
“You have to keep seeing him,” she whispers.
I put my hands on her shoulders. “You have to tell me what’s going on.”
“I will. I promise I will. He left and I’m not sure when he’ll be back. He said to tell you to be waiting for him. I need you to do this, Lilith. Just one more time.” She actually pleads, rather than her usual way, which is to demand.
Her lips tremble.
“You’re scaring me. I’ve never seen you like this.” I rub her arms and she shivers.
“Trust me—I don’t want you to see me like this.”
Her lip quirks up, and just like that, her mask goes back on. Alexis Fontenot doesn’t get rattled, so it’s the first time I’ve ever realized my mother knows some of the same tricks I do. Maybe I even learned them from her. I’ve hidden my true feelings for so long, I can’t remember.
She pulls away and pats her perfectly-in-place hair.
“You need to freshen up, Lilith. You smell like the outdoors.”
She doesn’t wait for my response. She turns and does her glide out of my room.
I wait. A knife lies under my pillow, and a switchblade is tucked behind a box on my nightstand. The gun is under my mattress, loaded. I’m ready. A few clients ask for me, but I tell my mom to give them to the other girls. I’ll be waiting for Nico. That relieves her and she leaves me alone.
Around eleven p.m. I get under the covers. I didn’t expect him to take so long. It’s almost time for the last call of the night. Sessions go until midnight during the week. I suspect he could still find a way inside.
I wake up to a kiss on my bare shoulder. I jump and collide with a face.
“Ahhh, dammit!” He holds onto his nose.
“Bentley?”
I sit up and stare at him. His suit is rumpled, hair going every which way.
“What happened?” I ask.
He wobbles a finger at me. “I tried … I tried to save you.”
“You’re drunk? Why? You’ve been sober for so long…” I lead him to the other side of the bed.
He plops down and falls back, mumbling curses and nonsense.
“What are you saying?” I groan.
“I should never have listened to her,” he says.
“Who?”
“You’ve always been my weakness. Too much blood on my hands.” He stops and holds his hands out, watching them shake.
“What happened?”
He nestles into the pillow and doesn’t answer. Within minutes, he’s asleep. One of his arms falls heavily across my chest.
I put a pillow over my mouth and scream until some of the frustration drains out. And then pull out the knife. The light hits the blade and makes it glow. I move out of Bentley’s grasp. He turns over and I freeze. When I’m sure he’s sleeping, I tiptoe out of the room and down the stairs to my other bed. At least an hour passes where I stare at the ceiling, knife in hand, waiting for whatever trouble might come. But it’s quiet and sleep eventually finds me.
A heated argument shakes my dreams; I know something is wrong the second I open my eyes. It’s in the hallway, but then my door opens. Someone bumps into the wall and curses. I feel around for my knife but can’t find it. An anguished groan pauses my search and I turn on the light. Nico turns to face me, bloody and wild-eyed. He’s holding my knife and blood drips onto the floor.
I’m shaking before I even look down. Bentley is lying on the hardwood floor, blood seeping through his clothes, and eyes wide open. I rush to him, feeling his pulse. I lay my head on his chest and sob. He’s dead.
“Get. Out. Of. Here.” Nico’s rage becomes a living, breathing organism, the ugliness of it choking out my breath.
I stand and back into my bed and he jerks my arm hard. “No, you have to leave. Now,” he snarls. He doesn?
??t look at me when he says, “Don’t stop for anything. Do you understand?”
I nod and run out of the room. I reach the end of the hall, but instead of leaving, I go upstairs to grab a few things. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and am shocked by all the blood on me. I shove Nico’s instruction out of my mind and take a shower. I should be scared of him. I am scared of him. He killed Bentley. Bentley, a man who was once his friend. I swipe the tears off of my face. None of this makes sense. My body trembles until I’m shaking so hard I can’t stand. I slide down the shower wall until I’m sitting and let the water wash it away, losing track of time. My brain tells me to get up and run, but my limbs are weights that won’t budge. I can’t stop thinking about Bentley’s body downstairs.
The bathroom is thick with steam when I get out. I open the door to my bedroom and am shocked by the smell of smoke. My room is full of it. Someone screams and I hurriedly get dressed. I pause by the bed when I can’t find my gun. It’s gone. I start shaking again and lean over, hands on knees, trying to get a grip. The fire alarm isn’t going off, but I hear sirens. When the sound blasts outside the window, I finally kick into action.
I don’t stop for anything. I run into the hall and fire is already licking the walls at the end of the hall, coming toward me. I pound on Alexis’s door and Jonell rushes out, terrified.
“She’s not in there,” she yells.
“Go to the balcony,” I yell back, grabbing her hand.
The fire is nearly reaching the door to the balcony, the midway point in the hallway. When I open the door, the air is relief, but we don’t stop to appreciate it. The view is clear down the fire escape, and I tell Jonell to go first. I’m right behind her. We reach the bottom and run to the clearing. Neighbors and passersby stand watching the house burn, as firefighters hose it down. Jessica and Talon are on the grass, crying.
“Where is everyone else?” I don’t wait to hear an answer. I run to the front door to search for the others, and a firefighter steps in front of me, blocking my way. His words don’t penetrate because another walks out carrying Angel. I change course and follow them. It’s then that I see Lexy and Tricia lying on stretchers, with the medics working over them. From the looks of it, it’s too late for Lexy. I stumble backward and hands grip my arms on either side.
I hear the Miranda rights being said and it’s not until I register the feel of the cuffs around my wrists that I realize I’m the one being arrested. Darla, Priscilla, my mother … and Nico … I never saw them come out of the house.
Chapter Four
SOTI
Remove the blinders that prevent you from seeing those who make your heart ache.
I’m up early, eating Cap’n Crunch and groaning over the damn shreds it always gives the roof of my mouth. This crap’s painful. I flip on the news while I put my bowl in the sink. There was a fire during the night—I stop to look at the screen when I hear the location. Not too far from here. As I watch the footage of the house burning, I recognize the place. I’ve admired the French architecture many times. It’s been around forever.
And then I freeze. There she is. On the screen. She appears to be fine, but very little emotion shows on her face, so it’s hard to tell. She must be a neighbor … no—she’s being led away in handcuffs.
Ti ékanes?
I move closer to the TV. Breaking news scrolls across the bottom of the screen.
“Maison D’amour, one of the French Quarter’s oldest dwellings, had a deadly fire early this morning. At this time, we know of two casualties, which cannot be disclosed at this time. Long suspected of prostitution activity, the spa has been under investigation for months. Four employees were arrested this morning and are awaiting sentencing for bail; another employee is still in critical condition. Sources are unsure of where the fire originated. If you have any information concerning this, please call our hotline…”
The news moves on to something else, while I sit with my head in my hands. All this time and she’s been so close. Without thinking it through, I gather my ID and the cash I keep under my mattress, and go down to the police station. I know a few of the cops, having come here before to bail people out. I wait around until I see Rudy and I tell him what I want to do.
He raises one eyebrow when I describe her, smacks his gum, and gives me a cheesy grin.
“Didn’t know you were into that sorta thing, big guy,” he says.
I cross my arms over my chest and give him the stare-down.
“Sorry, man.” He lifts both hands in the air and shakes his head. “We been after these girls a long time. Come back tomorrow. Her arraignment is in the morning.”
The next morning I’m at the station a few minutes before the time Rudy recommended.
He grins when he spots me. “You’re serious about this one, I see.”
My jaw clenches and I don’t say anything.
“Thousand dollars bail. You got it?”
I nod.
Then I sit and wait and nearly walk out the door a dozen times. I think of all I want to say to her, but none of it seems important when I actually see her.
She walks out, her hips swaying and the curve of her body drawing the attention of every male in the building, including mine. She comes to an abrupt stop when she sees me. Her stare is unnerving, but I am determined not to blink first.
Rudy directs his thumb my way, still grinning. “Mr. Toes here has so willingly covered your bail.” He looks back and forth between us. “You two make a fine lookin’ couple.”
I want to plant my fist in his jaw, but instead, I put my hand near her elbow where it hovers awkwardly in the air around her.
“Are you done, Rudy? Is she free to go?”
“Sign this right here and you’re free to go.” He places a paper on the countertop and points to the pen beside it.
She signs her name: Lilith Fontenot. Lilith. It doesn’t fit.
When we finally step outside and brace ourselves against the wall of humidity, I chance another look at her. She stops walking just outside the building.
“I don’t know why you did that—Mr. Soti Toes? But thank you.”
“You remember. Soti Christos. Rudy thinks he’s funny.”
“Ah, well … thank you.” Her eyes are wary and she looks exhausted.
“I heard about the fire on the news and recognized you. Thought you might need a place to go. There’s an open apartment at the place I was trying to tell you about, not too far from here. It’s yours if you want it.”
She looks around and I wonder if she’s looking for someone or just avoiding me. When her eyes finally light on mine, I falter. Those eyes. I could so easily drown in her.
Her gaze travels past my shoulder and suddenly her body goes completely still.
“Are you okay?” I turn around to see what caught her attention, but the street is full of people. I don’t see anything unusual.
Her hand on my arm makes me turn back to her quickly, my heart skipping all over itself.
“I need to get out of here,” she says quickly. Her eyes are frantic. “Now.”
I put a hand on her back and one behind her thighs and pick her up. She yelps, but then buries her head in my neck as I run. When we reach the gate a few blocks later, I slow to a walk and set her down, feeling like such a brute.
“Sorry about that, I didn’t think, just ran.” I look at her feet. Even her toes are pretty. “Didn’t jostle you too much, did I?”
“What are you? You’re not even out of breath.” She says it like it amuses her, but her eyes are chilly.
I apologize again.
“No need to apologize … you got me here. Thank you.”
I nod, trying not to stare at her fantastic legs—they’re endless. I want to wrap them around my back and say fuck off to my conscience.
The basketball game out front stops when they see her. JT’s mouth hangs open and I whistle, making him jump. I motion for them to continue playing. Still in a stupor, JT tosses the basketball to anoth
er guy and they slowly start moving again.
“They’re harmless,” I tell her. “I know all of them really well, and they’ll stay out of your way while you’re here. The apartment’s on the top floor. Would you like to see it?”
The sound of the basketball and tennis shoes on the asphalt underlines her silence. Finally, she folds her arms over her chest. It takes everything in me to look away.
“Seems like a nice place.” She takes a breath and puts a hand on her hip. “I don’t want to sound unappreciative of all your help. I am. But let me make it clear: I don’t trust anyone. And I’m not sure why I keep turning around and finding you lurking. I don’t have time for a stalker.” Her voice has gone glacial.
I open my mouth to speak and she holds her hand up.
“I’m glad to be out of jail. I need a place for the night, to regroup, and then I’ll be on my way. But, if there’s a knife in the building I will find it, and I don’t care how you helped me today, I won’t be afraid to slice you open if you try anything.”
It doesn’t help matters when I snort. Her eyes narrow on me and nail me to the sidewalk.
“Jeez. You’re a little uptight,” I say softly.
Her eyes become even tinier slits. I clear my throat.
“Which is completely understandable,” I add. I tuck my chin and look at her. “I tell you what … when we get upstairs, I will give you my knife. It’s yours. If you like the place, stay. If not, I can help you find something else. You can even take the knife with you.”
She lifts her head in acknowledgment.
“I can introduce you to everyone later.”
She nods again.
I lead her upstairs the back way, narrowly escaping Miss Jez and Miss Christine. I stop by my apartment and get the huge ring of keys that opens every door in the building. She looks around.
“Not much to see,” I say.
“It’s not bad.”
“You can stay here tonight. I’ll sleep on the couch in the lounge area. The empty apartment is next door. I can find furniture for you in a day or two if you want to stay there.”