Shane grabbed her arm and twisted her back to face him. She was angry. Her eyes were red from crying, and she looked like she was about two seconds from smacking him. She should smack him. He deserved it. He should have been there for her before this.
“Let go of me,” she growled.
“Levi doesn’t want you up there either. He said you’d be in the way. I’m to keep you here,” Shane said. “Alpha’s orders.”
Shane wasn’t thrilled with Levi right now. He wanted to be out on the mission more than anything. But Levi was right about one thing. Lily needed someone to look after her right now.
“He’s not my alpha,” Lily said, yanking her arm away from Shane’s grasp. She made for the door, but he blocked her. “Get out of my way. I’m going to find my son.”
“I can’t let you go, Lily,” he said.
“How do you intent to stop me?” she barked.
All at once, Shane’s bear lost control and pulled her into his embrace. He could feel himself on the edge of reason. He needed this woman. Needed her with all his body and soul. She gasped, showing her pretty neck. He sensed her pulse and smelled the arousal in her blood.
His lips crushed hers and she melted into him. He walked her backward across the floor and they bumped into the couch. She fell back to sit on the sofa cushions. She looked up at him with confusion in her eyes.
In that moment, he didn’t give a damn about anything but feeling his mate’s body move under his. He needed to be inside her. He needed to hear her moan with pleasure.
He tore off his shirt and went to his knees, claiming her pretty mouth again.
“We shouldn’t do this, Shane,” she said, but the words didn’t make any sense.
He was in a world of sensation where he could smell her need. He could hear her heart beating with desire. His grizzly growled and roared. Mate. Mate. Mate.
Unable to control the feral bear inside him, he nipped at her bottom lip and growled. His bear was so close, and the man barely had any control anymore.
His fingers hooked in Lily’s shirt and pulled it up over her head. He looked down at her round breasts in the pink bra she wore. Her eyes were full of longing. Longing for him. He could see his image in the pools of her eyes.
Shane crushed her hungry mouth and squeezed her breasts. Lily became a puddle of desire, melting into his arms as he leaned into her. They kissed frantically, as hungry as two starving people who could only be sated by each other.
His tongue dove into her mouth, caressing her hot tongue. Her nipples pricked under his hand. She leaned back and wrapped her legs around his waist.
Her arousal was thick in the air, making him painfully hard. The bear inside him drove him on, sending him images of sinking his throbbing shaft inside the soft human woman.
“Mine,” he growled.
“Yes, Shane,” she breathed.
“I can’t do this.” Shane stopped and turned away.
Shane felt paralyzed as Lily pulled her shirt back on. What had he done?
He’d lost control.
His human mind fought for dominance. He struggled with the bear inside him. He would fight, wrestling his demons until they yielded. He wouldn’t let himself be taken over by the feral beast inside him again. He wouldn’t make love to this woman while out of his right mind. Never again. No. Shane pushed the bear down, hard. It whimpered and crawled back into the darkness, licking his wounds.
“I have to go,” Lily muttered, grabbing her purse from the table.
“Lily,” he said, barely able to move. She opened the door and trotted down the path toward the lodge.
He’d found control of himself, but he’d hurt her again. “Wait!”
He yanked himself off the couch and flung open the door. Lily disappeared into the darkness. Dammit!
He started to run after her but his legs felt like jelly. He wanted to tell her what happened. He couldn’t let himself hurt Lily. Precious, beautiful Lily. He would never allow himself to break her spirit. That woman was a million times stronger than him, and he knew it.
Shane had fought back for control of his bear and won. Maybe he could be with Lily. Maybe they could be a family. This had been the first time he’d been able to take back control of his bear once it had taken control since he’d mauled his stepfather. It was a major breakthrough.
When the feeling came back in Shane’s legs, he realized what he needed to do. He wasn’t about to stand there like an impotent asshole and let his child stay missing in the wilderness. He would be damned if he’d let someone else find his cub while he sat in a cabin. Shane grabbed his leather jacket and walked out his front door.
The best thing he could do for Lily now was find her son, their son. He and Lily shared more than the instinctive connection of mates. They shared a child now. Shane would find Theo and bring him back to Lily. Then he’d know for sure if he had his bear under control.
He threw his motorcycle into gear and sped out of the parking lot. Shane knew the location of Alpha Station, but he wasn’t going there. Levi would send him away. He hated defying his alpha, but Shane was going to find his kid despite Levi’s orders.
This was one of those times when Shane had to live up to his code name Wild Bear. A wild bear didn’t always follow the rules. He made his own rules. Shane was in control now, and he intended to stay that way.
Shane drove his bike up around the park where Theo had disappeared. It was close to town but intersected with vast tracks of wilderness that could become dangerously rugged. His little bear was a lot like his old man. He ran wild.
After parking his motorcycle in a secluded turn out off on the highway, Shane started to walk into the forest. He stripped his clothes as he walked and started his shift as soon as the last piece hit the ground. Baring his teeth and growling, Shane landed on the forest floor. Night had already fallen and the temperatures were growing colder by the second.
The bear roared at the man within, angry to be given his mate. Shane fought to hold control. He would be the final word in his bear’s shift. He would not hurt his beloved mate a moment longer. He was a man, not a beast. It ended now. The bear flailed within, romping and roaring.
Shane held his control over the bear. He sent the beast images of the family together. The picture of Lily’s face. Their son playing at the park. The beast calmed. Backing down to Shane in submission. The bear didn’t want to hurt his mate or cub either. It was finally starting to heal, to let go of the past for the sake of his family. He would be a good bear for Lily after all.
He trotted into the woods, tasting the air with his tongue. Theo had disappeared east of his location. Knowing Levi, the crew were spreading out to search the entire region. Corey would be feeding him information from his probability simulator, or whatever the hell that computer was that Geek Bear used.
Shane knew something that the computers and his alpha didn’t know. He knew the deep rhythm of the forest. He also knew the wild heart of his son. He knew it intuitively, in his soul. The way only a father could.
A creek ran along this hillside. The scent of water was something that would draw the animal towards it. Shane charged up the hill, his claws sinking deep into the damp earth.
12
Lily could barely see as she drove back to town. He’d pulled away again.
What else could she expect from him? Her body had buzzed under his touch. She would have given anything to be with him. Even with everything happening around them.
She made it back home but couldn’t sleep.
She texted Levi, asking for updates. The crew was still on the mountain, but her son kept evading them. The cleaver little bear had thrown them off his trail more than once. Her precocious child wouldn’t let himself be found. Staying up all night, Lily watched the sun rise the next morning. Her head was numb and her body ached, but she had to work at the diner in just a few hours.
She picked up her phone and dialed in to work, wanting to call in sick.
“Fate Mountain Diner,
” Mr. Buckman said.
“This is Lily. My son went missing last night. I haven’t slept. I don’t think I should be at work today.”
“We can’t cover for you. Come in or you’re fired.”
She hung up her phone, and a tear slid down her face. If she lost this job, how could she support Theo? Even with Shane’s offer to help, she knew it was her responsibility. She was already going to be late on her rent this month. Forcing herself out of her apartment, she went to work, her eyes only half open. When Lily walked through the front door of the diner, Mr. Buckman was waiting there for her, as smug as ever. When she passed him at the host’s podium, he stopped her.
“Follow me, Lily,” he said smugly.
She tried not to groan as she followed him to his office. Inside, the place was a cluttered mess. Mr. Buckman slid his portly frame behind his desk and tapped his fingertips together as he looked at her.
“Did they find that half-breed son of yours?”
“His name is Theo. And no, they haven’t found him.”
“You look terrible today. The customers don’t like being served by a waitress that looks like a zombie.”
“I told you I couldn’t sleep last night,” she muttered, barely able to stand.
“Don’t let it happen again. I’m tired of having to say that, Ms. Mason.”
“I’ll remember that,” she grumbled, turning to go out the door.
Lily went to the back of the kitchen to clock in and put on her apron. Back out in the restaurant, behind the bar, she poured herself a cup of coffee and downed it as quickly as possible before pouring herself a second. She chugged that one too. Her fellow waitress Shannon walked up to her and put her hand on her back.
“I heard about your kid, hon,” the older woman said. “Are you okay to work?”
“Probably not, but I can’t lose this job. Mr. Buckman is already on my ass. There’s no way I can call in today.”
“No job is worth that kind of agony,” Shannon said.
“It’s the only one I can find.”
Shannon patted Lily’s back again and took the coffee pot out onto the restaurant floor. At least someone at her work understood how hard it was for her. Lily went through the motions at work like she was in some kind of walking nightmare.
As she took orders and refilled coffee mugs, Lily couldn’t help but think of Shane. She’d wanted him last night. She’d wanted him with all her heart and soul.
If only he hadn’t pulled away. Maybe they could have fixed it all. But Shane pulled away yet again. Lily knew now that it would never work.
When the rescue crew found Theo, she would have to consider if she could stay in this town. She loved Shane with all her heart, but he always ran away from her. She was done with it.
She stood at the counter where the cooks stacked finished plates. Lily’s order was up, and she started to place each plate on the tray.
Her mind was in a daze, and she lifted the tray on shaky arms. Walking out into the restaurant, she looked up to see a family walk into the diner. Her foot caught on a floor mat, and she went tumbling down to the floor in front of a table full of customers.
The family stopped short at the front of the restaurant. Mr. Buckman tore out from his office, shouting. Almost in tears, Lily stood stared down at the broken plates and spilled food. A streak of egg yolk smeared across her apron. She shot her gaze to Mr. Buckman, who was fuming red and about to explode. The family looked concerned and the customers at the table were dumbstruck. Shannon came out from behind the bar with a towel and a bus tub.
“Ms. Mason. This is the last straw; you’re fired,” Mr. Buckman said.
Lily gasped, not knowing what to do. She glanced around at the faces of the people staring at her and put her hand to her mouth. Her heart clenched, and she turned on her heel toward the kitchen. She didn’t stop until she was in the break room, where she tore her purse off the hook and ran out of the side door of the restaurant.
She heard someone call after her, but she didn’t stop. Lily could only take so much. She jumped in her car and drove back to her apartment. Inside, she flung open the closet door in Theo’s room and pulled out the boxes she’d left stored there.
Lily started to throw her things into the boxes as quickly as possible. As soon as they found Theo, they’d leave. She couldn’t hack it here. Maybe she’d go to Portland. She’d heard there were plenty of shifters there too.
As she threw Theo’s clothes in a box, her whole body went ballistic. They had to find her kid. He’d been gone for almost twenty-four hours. Even for a bear shifter child, that was a long time to be out in the cold. He didn’t know how to survive in the wild. Even a cub could get hurt out there. The last text she’d gotten from Levi that morning had said that they were closing in on his location. Had they found him? How did they know?
She picked up her phone and looked at the screen. No updates. In a rage of fear and panic, Lily tore apart her house, packing all her worldly possessions as fast as she possibly could.
If they didn’t update her soon, she was going to go out to find him herself. She thought these guys were supposed to be the best of the best. Yet, they couldn’t find a single bear cub?
She flicked her phone over to the Mate.com app where she had been texting Shane. There was nothing. And why would there be? He’d backed away from her the second he had his bear under control.
It was a lost cause. Lily refused to let Shane Keenan own her heart any longer. It was time to get the hell out of Dodge and make a fresh start somewhere else.
13
Shane followed a trail away from the stream that lead down the western side of the hill. He came to a grove of old growth red cedar. Wide trunks were surrounded by huge ferns. The branches dripped with moss and the scent of loamy soil filled the air.
The cub’s scent was in this forest. He could smell it under the scent of cedar. Shane tasted the air with his tongue. The cub was close, but he wasn’t on the ground. Then Shane looked up—a dark brown cub clung to the tree above him.
Theo tore up the tree and hurled himself to the next tree over. That little bugger had been hopping from tree to tree this whole time. Shane followed the cub, trotting under the trees as he went. Theo was fast as lightening, and Shane had a hard time keeping up. Finally, Shane jumped into his shift and landed on human feet in the cool, damp soil.
“Wait,” he shouted at the cub.
Theo stopped short and turned around, looking at Shane. He tilted his head back and forth, inspecting the human below him.
“Come on down, son,” Shane said.
His heart burst when he said the words. This child was his flesh and blood. Theo was his family, his heart. The cub hesitantly clawed his way down the trunk of the big tree and hopped to the ground. The big ferns that grew on the mountain surrounded the child as he climbed down to his father standing in the clearing.
Shane extended his hand to Theo. The cub sniffed the air tentatively and let out a high-pitched roar. The little bear walked forward and shifted mid-step.
“So, you’re my daddy,” Theo said.
Shane squatted down to his son’s level.
“I am,” Shane said.
“Where have you been?” Theo asked, cocking his head.
“I’ve had some things to sort out. I was at war, and then I had to spend some time alone in the woods.”
“I wanted to go to the woods like you, Daddy,” Theo said.
“Is that why you ran away?” Shane asked.
“I wanted to be like my dad. Like a shifter,” Theo admitted.
“Not all shifters take to the wild and leave your mama worried sick,” Shane explained. “We need to get you back to her now.”
Shane lifted the child up on his hip and began to walk back in the direction he’d come. Drew walked through a stand of narrow trees and lifted his walkie-talkie to his mouth.
“Brew Bear to Alpha Station. I have eyes on target,” Drew said. Then he lowered the walkie-talkie. “What are y
ou doing here, Shane? Levi will have your head.”
“You were taking too long to find my son,” Shane countered.
“Status?” Levi’s voice said over the walkie-talkie.
“That kid’s been giving us the slip all night. I finally realized he was hopping from tree to tree. That’s the only way I was able to finally track him here.”
Theo growled in Shane’s arms.
“Is that true, buddy?” Shane asked the kid. Theo started to shiver. They needed to get him home. Shifter or not, he’d been out in the woods for too long. “Why were you running from the nice men?”
“Mommy said you run away,” Theo said to Shane.
Shane took a sharp breath through his teeth. Drew’s mouth parted into a wide, bearded grin, and then he burst into laughter.
“What?” Shane barked at Drew.
“Karma’s a bi…” Drew started.
Drew stopped himself and pulled a thermal blanket out of his rescue pack. “Let’s get this kid warmed up and back to his mama.”
“Don’t judge me, Brew Bear. I’ve heard about the woman you marked after meeting her on Mate.com.”
“Shut up about that, Shane. Or I swear…” Drew barked at Shane as he wrapped Theo in the thermal blanket.
Drew picked up his walkie-talkie and threw Shane an extra thermal blanket. Shane wrapped the shiny silver thing around his waist and picked up his son.
“Brew Bear to Alpha Station. Target is cold but healthy. I’m warming him up and extracting him now.”
“Big Bear and Ski Bear will intersect with your location soon,” Levi said over the walkie-talkie.
“Are you coming in?” Drew asked Shane.
“Why shouldn’t I? I’m the one who found him.”
“Levi banned you from this mission. And aren’t you supposed to be at work in an hour?”
The sun was peeking out from over the eastern mountains and casting a yellow glow over the forest.
“I’m going to have to make things right with Levi, Drew. I’m done running,” he said.
It was time for Shane to find the courage to face his inner demons. It was time to learn to rule his inner bear. His human mind had to be in charge, or the broken bear would never heal.