He collapsed atop her, his weight heavy. He didn’t move, didn’t say a word. His breath fanned across her face, the only sound in the quiet night. Bea merely lay there reveling in the remaining pleasure, in her own seductive reality. She hadn’t expected it to be so … so strong. So amazing. She’d felt this before, when he’d touched her, stroked her with his tongue down there. But never … never had she imagined it would be like this. She felt one with Colin. She felt …
Her eyes widened. She loved him. Dear God, she loved him and her heart would break.
Colin pulled back and slowly moved from her. She felt his loss as if he’d ripped out her soul. He didn’t look her way as he picked up his clothes. He merely dressed as if she weren’t even there, lying upon the bed like some virginal sacrifice.
He slipped his arms into the sleeves of his linen shirt and, not bothering to button it, turned so his back was to her. He paused then, for one incredibly long moment. “You got what you want, Bea. I hope you don’t regret it.” Without another word, without a backward glance, he walked away.
Shocked and numb, Bea sat up, watching him until he merged with the shadows. Gone, he left her, just like that. And she was in love with the bloody bastard.
Colin kept moving, kept going forward even as his soul screamed at him to turn around. His heart thundered in his ears, his pulse raced. He’d come inside her. She could get pregnant. Dear God, she could have his baby. And then what? She’d hate him? Despise him for trapping her in a marriage where they had no money, a marriage where she’d be forced to sit in some dingy shack and wait for him to return day after day as his mother had done with his father?
Ahead, a lantern burned in the window of his room, a beacon that called out safety. He focused on that light, even as he wanted to turn around and go back to Bea. How could he leave her like that? But how could he not? If he stayed … dear Lord, if he stayed, he’d want more … and if she even looked at him with a hint of desire in her eyes, he wouldn’t be able to say no. His foot hit the marble patio with a thud that matched the beat of his heart.
His skin crawled. His body hummed. His mind raced yet nothing made sense. Like a drug, he needed her. Tasting her wouldn’t be enough. He pushed the doors wide and stepped into his bedchamber, determined to leave her in peace, to let her gather her thoughts and realize the mistake of their intimacy. With a flip of his wrists, he shut the door. Shut Bea out.
At the fireplace, he paused, leaning his palms on the mantel. What had he done? He’d ruined her. An innocent woman who was intended to marry a titled gent, a rich titled gent. He’d ruined her. Leo’s cousin. Ella’s friend. And even worse, he’d abandoned her there, naked in the garden. He tore his shirt from his chest, the clothing suddenly too confining. The mirror that hung above the mantel showed a face full of confusion and anguish. He had to go back, he had to explain … But how did he explain? Hell, he didn’t even understand any of it himself.
The door burst open, slamming against the wall with such force it made the flame in the lantern flicker. Colin spun around. Bea stood on the threshold, anger marring every inch of her beautiful body, from her clenched jaw to her curled, bare toes. The robe was in place, but hanging open without a belt to keep it closed and he could see every naked inch. She didn’t seem to care.
“Bea, I—”
Her hands fisted at her sides. “How dare you.” She stomped into the room, slamming the door behind her. “How dare you leave me like I’m nothing!”
Shocked, it took a moment for him to respond. “Bea, damn it, will you listen to me?”
Her eyes narrowed into mere slits, her breath harsh as she seethed. Fortunately, she paused and crossed her arms over her chest. Unfortunately, the movement only sent those soft mounds higher, taunting him. Colin blinked rapidly, trying to clear his lusty thoughts.
“Well? What do you have to say?” Bea threw her arms in the air. “That you took my virginity then left me like I was nothing? Please, explain.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, when you say it like that …”
“You treat your mistresses even better, don’t you?”
“Christ,” he snapped, annoyed she’d bring up such a topic now, of all times.
She stomped closer, her eyes flashing in that way he so adored. “Oh, please. Yes, you see I’m not the innocent you think. I know what men do, I know they keep mistresses. And you, Colin, have just treated me worse than your mistress.”
“Bea, I don’t have …” She moved closer, only a breath away, and he lost his train of thought. Bea angry was a sight to behold. Her eyes sparkled. Her harsh breathing only raised her breasts, making her nipples brush against his chest.
She shoved her finger into his chest for emphasis. “I hope you get the pox, Colin Finch, and your thing falls off!”
Colin had to bite back a laugh.
“Don’t you dare laugh at me!” She stomped her foot, and he thought for a moment she might slap him.
He held up his hands. “I’m not.”
“You are! I can see it in your eyes. You’re laughing at me. You just used me, discarded me, and now you’re laughing.”
Sudden tears shimmered in her eyes. Colin’s mirth fled.
“You ruined everything, Colin, and I despise you!” Before he could guess her intentions, she raised her fist and swung at him. Her knuckles grazed his chin. Stunned, Colin merely stood there as Bea spun around and started back toward the door.
“You just hit me!” he yelled, irate yet oddly amused.
“And I’ll do it again! Next time, harder!”
He reached her in two strides, reached her just as she was taking the doorknob in hand. Colin latched on to her arm and spun her around. The shock on her face was worth it all.
“No one hits me.”
“What are you going to do about it?” she mocked, tilting her chin high, but her eyes, oh, her eyes bespoke not of arrogance, but insecurity.
A slow smile spread across his lips. “Are you afraid now, Bea?”
She backed up, her shoulder blades hitting the door. The bravado was gone from her eyes. “No.”
“You should be.” He grabbed her before she could getaway. With his hands on her hips, he threw her over his shoulder.
“Colin! Put me down!” Bea slammed her fists against his back with more force than he thought her capable of.
He tossed her onto the bed. Before she could move, he was on her, pinning her down with his body. “I’m going to teach you a lesson, darlin’.”
His mouth pressed to her neck. Bea squirmed, struggling to move. He wouldn’t let her.
“I mean it, Colin, get off!”
He pulled back, looking into her eyes. She was angry, yes, but there was also desire there. Damn, but she was amazing. “Why? When you enjoy my touch so much?” His lips trailed down her neck, to the tops of her breasts. Her fingers slipped into his hair and jerked back, pulling painfully at the strands.
With a growl, Colin took one of her breasts in his mouth. Bea sucked in a sharp breath, her hold loosening. The anger disappeared. She sighed, sinking into the bed as if her body had melted.
He pulled back just enough. “Do you still want me to stop?” He drew his tongue around her hard nipple and glanced up at her through his lashes, weighing her response.
Her brows snapped together. “Yes. No. I don’t know.”
He brushed aside her robe and moved lower, his mouth trailing over her flat belly. “Well?”
Her hands slid into his hair once more, this time in long, sweet strokes. “No. Please. Don’t.”
Her words sent his senses spinning. Any resistance was forgotten. She tasted good, so damn good. Her fingernails bit into his shoulders as her desire flared to life. “Please, Colin, come inside me.”
He closed his eyes, resting his forehead on her stomach. He couldn’t. Could he? Slowly, he lifted his head and met her gaze. “It’s too soon.”
“You’ll be gentle,” she whispered and there was a certainty in he
r eyes that flattered him. That amber gaze was hazy with passion, but something else … determination. She knew what she wanted. Bea always knew what she wanted. She wanted him. Dear God, how could he say no?
He moved up her and pressed his mouth to hers in a quick kiss. “Whatever you want, Bea.”
He nudged his knee between her smooth thighs. She was ready for him, sleek, hot, and still wet from their last experience. He pressed the tip of his shaft into her tight sheath. Sweat broke out on his forehead. He tried to hold back, but Bea arched, taking him farther into her sweet body. It was torture. Beautiful, wonderful, torture and he never wanted it to end.
“Oh, Colin,” she rasped, her voice as breathless as his.
It was as she called his name that he realized he never wanted her to stop. Damn, he had fallen too deep, too quick. It scared the hell out of him. He wanted to pull back. He couldn’t. As he thrust, Bea lifted her hips, meeting him, drawing him closer. He watched her, his gaze pinned to her beautiful face as he buried himself inside her, giving over completely.
It was all he needed.
Again and again he moved against her. Time disappeared. Nothing mattered, until Bea moaned, her own body tightening in surrender. Fire pounded through his blood. With a roar, he threw his head back and emptied himself inside her. Bea trembled around him, her breathing harsh. He’d lost his mind once more and he couldn’t seem to care.
Colin started to move, afraid he’d crush her, but Bea’s arms tightened around his neck, holding him captive. She buried her face against his chest, hiding. Dear God, he’d never felt so wonderfully complete. His hold tightened around her.
“Please,” she whispered so softly, he wasn’t sure if she’d really said the word or he’d imagined it. He waited.
“Please,” she whispered again. “Please don’t leave me this time.”
Colin closed his eyes, his heart clenching. “I won’t, Bea. I promise.”
Chapter 25
“Colin Finch, you better have a very, very good reason for this!”
The low, feminine growl erupted into Bea’s consciousness, dragging her from the dredges of slumber. She didn’t open her eyes, she was too bloody tired, but lay still, wondering if perhaps she’d dreamt the familiar voice. After all, her body felt too languid and wonderful to be truly awake. Yes, most likely she was dreaming. With a sigh, she settled back into slumber and cuddled closer to the warm solidness that pressed against the length of her body.
“Privacy would be good,” Colin grumbled, his voice a caress that stirred the hair at her temples. For one brief moment, Bea thought he was talking to her. He shifted, taking the warmth and pressure of his body away. Suddenly Bea was alone.
Confused, her lashes lifted. The ceiling glared down at her, refusing to give any answers, and so she lowered her gaze to Colin, who was sitting up for some odd reason, and even odder, he wasn’t dressed. Why was he in her bed? And more importantly, why was he naked?
“Well?” someone demanded.
Bea jerked her gaze toward the voice. The dream became reality.
She wasn’t in her bedchamber, after all. In fact, she was in Colin’s, and Ella stood there wearing men’s trousers and a white linen shirt. Her arms were folded across her chest, her face flushed red with … fury. Those blue eyes flickered between Bea and Colin as if searching for the answers to her question. Last night came rushing back on a torrent of emotions.
“Oh, dear God,” Bea whispered, sinking into the bed and pulling the coverlet over her head. This was not happening. She hadn’t been intimate with Colin, and Ella most certainly was not here … now of all times. Heat shot to her face, her stomach tightened into a knot that would surely never come undone.
“Dear God is right,” Ella snapped, her voice muffled through the blanket. “What is going on here? There better be a very good explanation, Colin Finch!”
Bea pulled the covers down just enough to spy Colin and Ella.
Colin had grabbed his shirt and trousers and was holding them in front of his midsection, but his bottom was deliciously exposed to Bea. A gorgeous bottom, really, Bea thought, with a tilt of her head to get a better view. Last night she’d had no qualms about grabbing that backside. But now … blimey! The heat that had rushed to her face at Ella’s appearance intensified.
“It’s not what it seems,” Colin said, jerking her from her thoughts.
Ella snorted at the same time that Bea rolled her eyes.
Apparently unconcerned, Colin smiled a wicked grin that produced both dimples. “All right, maybe it is.”
Ella didn’t relent, but continued to glare at her cousin. Apparently, she was immune to his dimples.
Colin sighed and raked back his hair. “Come on, Ella. Bea and I were together for days. You couldn’t expect—”
“Oh, yes, days!” Ella flung her arms dramatically wide.
“How can a person go days without giving in to their basic human desires!”
“Good, so we’re in agreement.”
Ella stomped her foot and Bea flinched. “Ohhhh! You wretched man! I should have known better than to leave her with you! When Fran said Bea wasn’t in her room, I was worried, but never did I expect …” She shook her head as if too disgusted to go on.
Bea resisted the urge to groan. She didn’t think her life could get any more embarrassing. Did the entire household know?
Colin held up one hand, the other clutching the clothing to his private area. “Bea and I are two grown adults, lest you forget.”
Ella was having none of his argument. She folded her arms across her chest once more and glared. “Yes, well, explain that to Leo.” That glare turned into a tauntingly sweet smile. “Why, he should be here any moment.”
“What?” Bea clutched the blanket to her chest and shot upright.
Ella quirked a brow, obviously enjoying the moment. “Yes, and I’m sure he’ll be happy to explain what is appropriate and what isn’t!”
“Oh, dear Lord.” Going for the closest clothing, Bea reached over and snatched the shirt and trousers from Colin’s fingers.
“Hey!” Suddenly naked, he had only his hands to hide his modesty.
Ella screamed and spun around, apparently horrified.
“Sorry!” Bea mumbled as she clutched the clothing to her chest and, naked, bolted toward the doors that led into the gardens. “Really.” She pulled the doors open. “So sorry.”
Colin merely stood there staring at her, his mouth agape. Seeing the shock on his face, Bea felt the insane desire to laugh. Instead, she shrugged, fighting her mirth, and pulled the doors shut.
Outside, with the early morning air fresh and crisp, she could finally breathe. From the bedchamber, she could hear Ella and Colin arguing, but the words were too muffled to understand.
She tilted her head back and looked to the pastel sky, the sun just beginning to rise. “Why? Have I not gone through enough? I mean really.” She dropped the trousers and pulled Colin’s shirt on, working the buttons up the front. “Ungrateful is what you are. I went to church every Sunday and this is how I’m repaid?” She shoved her legs through Colin’s trousers and rolled the waistband until it hung low on her hips. She couldn’t imagine what Leo would say. How could she ever look him in the face again?
Someone cleared his throat.
Bea froze, sending a silent prayer that the noise had been imagined. A low rumble of thunder shook the ground, a warning from the gods? Slowly, she turned. A gardener stood near the rosebushes, a shovel in hand. He bowed low, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
Bea released a harsh laugh and crossed her arms over her chest, feigning a disinterest she sure as hell didn’t feel. “Oh, good morning. Looks like rain.” She took a step toward the stairs, her gaze pinned to him. Then another step. Finally she gave in to her urge and raced up the steps to her chamber. In her room, she slammed the door shut and leaned back.
With a peek at the ceiling, she glared. “Really? Do you hate me so much? Perhaps I should j
ust prance naked through the streets of Bombay and get it over with!”
With a groan, she set off across the cold marble floor, raking her fingers through her disheveled hair. Heated embarrassment had settled into her body and didn’t seem to have any plans of leaving at the moment. How would she ever face Leo or Ella again? How would she ever face the servants again? Colin’s pants hung low on her hips, the cuffs tripping her steps. Her thoughts were in turmoil, spinning, colliding in her mind until she couldn’t seem to catch hold of even one. She kicked the long legs out of the way and continued to pace. This was not how their morning after was supposed to unveil.
Ella. Ella had seen her naked in Colin’s bed.
She sank onto a chair, moaning. How could Fran snitch on her? But no, that wasn’t fair. Fran was probably worried and it was Bea’s own bloody fault. What Ella must think of her! And she had no doubt Colin was blaming her at the moment, most likely playing the innocent and saying she attacked him when … when …
Bea lifted her eyes, staring unblinkingly at the cold hearth. When she had attacked him! Blimey, what had she become? Shiva was starting to look like a saint compared to her. Another rumble of thunder shook the room like a vocal agreement from God. She glanced mournfully toward the terrace doors. One stood ajar. Had she left it open? The rain would be here soon and the floor would take a soaking …
Oh, what did it matter? When Leo found out she’d been intimate with Colin, he’d ship her back to Scotland before she could bat an eyelash. She surged to her feet, crossing her arms over her chest. Well, she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t go back to Scotland. She’d … she’d stay with Fran. Yes. Fran had said she could stay and there was no doubt the woman owed her for blabbing. And if Leo and Ella didn’t like it … well, they could …
The fine hairs on Bea’s body stood on end. A whispered warning that sent a chill over her skin. Her lungs shrank. She couldn’t seem to draw breath. Someone was in her room. Fear held her immobile as her heart thundered madly in her chest.
What to do? Scream? Run? But her legs had gone to weak and she couldn’t seem to remember how to open her mouth. Through the tumbling thoughts in her mind, she managed to grab on to the one that urged her to turn. Bea spun around. There, in the shadows where the morning sun hadn’t quite reached, stood a man.