***
I knew it was going to be difficult and I’m getting there. I climb out of Chase’s car and wait for him. Chase has been amazing and I never thought I would be this happy. We’re not officially dating, but I am very tempted. I do occasionally think of Ayden, but the thoughts are getting fewer and fewer.
He grabs hold of my hand and leads me towards the school building. “Prom this weekend” he smiles down at me. I can’t help but smile back at him. He is beautiful and for some reason cares about me. I know I’m not in love with him, he doesn’t make my heart race and I don’t get giddy around him. But he makes me happy. Life is finally worth living.
“Yep,”
“Who you going with?” He stops walking and spins me around to face him. His arms wrap around my waist and he pulls me closer to him. I love it when he does this. I feel protected and safe. His head leans down and he kisses my cheek.
“I don’t know” I say breathlessly. For some reason he hasn’t kissed me properly. I’m not desperate to be kissed. I remember those great kisses we shared once watching DVD’s.
“Oh please” says a voice. I look over to see Becks standing there, her face full of disgust and her arms folded across her chest. “We all know she’s going with you, Chase.” She walks over and pulls me from Chase’s embrace. “If you don’t mind, I need to talk to my friend about prom dresses.”
She leads me away. I can’t help but look over my shoulder and give Chase a little wave. Something behind him catches my attention, a blue truck. Ayden? I quickly dismiss the idea and turn back round.
“It seems you and Chase are getting close.”
“I like him” I shrug, trying not to give too much away. Becks smiles at me and shakes her head. I’m really happy we made up. She confessed that she was slightly jealous. She’d had a thing for Ayden and didn’t like the fact he was always hanging around with me. Now she knows why, she feels a little stupid. We were all fooled, but that was the intention. Ayden wasn’t real. He was a character that was made up to keep me protected.
“Are you going to the dance with Chase?”
“You know I am” I laugh as we head into the busy high school hall. Everywhere there is banners about graduation, year books and prom. I feel slightly sad that my high school experience is almost over. Relieved that I will get an actual summer without moving around or looking after Lacey.
Ted has changed my mother and he finally got down on one knee and proposed. She has gone wedding crazy and won’t shut up about it. Lacey is actually calling Ted dad. I don’t mind, but she has forgotten about her true father. He is currently in prison awaiting trail. He rings me and I write to him. I am slowly running out of things to say and that makes me sad.
I don’t hate him anymore as I know he wasn’t behind all the threats and he didn’t want to hurt us. Everyone has moved on and I actually like living in Summerton now.
“Hey,” Ali says as we stop by our lockers. “What are we talking about?”
“Prom” Becks groans, as she begins to put books into her locker.
“Are you not happy about Prom?”
“Not really” Becks sighs. “Its just you have Chase and Ali is with Travis. I think I’ll be going solo to the most important event of my life.”
I link my arm with Becks and lead her towards our first class. “Look to make you feel better I’ll go with you.”
Becks looks shocked at me. “You can’t, what about Chase?”
“He won’t mind” I smile. “We can all go together. It will be fun. Besides, I think Chase would be happy to have a girl on each arm.”
Becks stops and looks at me. She doesn’t look very convinced. “He only wants you on his arm, Jen. Have you not noticed the way he looks at you?”
“I know, but we’re just friends.”
“Ayden isn’t coming back” she mutters as she walks into class. I stand frozen on the spot, was that some sort of jib at me. I know he’s not coming back. He broke his promise to me and funnily enough I always knew he would.
I storm after her. “What’s that meant to mean?”
She sits down and opens up her books. I take my chair next to her and wait for her reply. “That it’s you holding back. Chase likes you and he wants to be more than your friend. So me going to Prom with you guys is stupid. He wants you, only you.”
“He’s my friend” I protest.
“He wants to be your boyfriend” her voice is stern. “So, forget about Ayden.”
I can’t say anymore as our teacher enters the room. Am I holding back because of Ayden? Could there be a slight chance that I haven’t totally got over him. If so, why can everyone else see it and not me? Becks is right... I need to give Chase the chance he wants. After all he has helped me get through my depression.
After school I wait beside Chase’s car. The second he sees me he practically runs over. For the first time in forever I actually feel a true emotion. His arms wrap round me and he lifts me in the air. I give a squeal and wrap my arms around his neck. Then that’s when I see it again… The truck is sat outside the school gate and someone is inside watching me. I blink and when I look again it’s gone. Am I finally going crazy?
Chase puts me back on the ground and stares down at me concerned. “Are you okay? You’ve gone really pale.”
“I’m fine,” I lie. I quickly restore myself, but the moment is gone. I step out of his arms and look down at the floor. “Actually I’m feeling a little sick. Would you take me home?”
“Sure” he says, I can tell he isn’t too pleased.
We drive to my house in perfect silence. God, what is wrong with me? I see a blue truck and I freak out. I know Ayden isn’t coming back. I really need to forget about him and move on. I take in a deep breath and slowly look over at Chase. Why can’t I feel like I did before? Look at him, he’s smart, kind, beautiful and has really looked after me. He stuck by his word, more than Ayden has done.
I do need to give him a chance. Becks was right today with what she said. My hand reaches over and I place it on his knee.
He pulls up outside my house and places his hand on top of mine. “Everything okay now?”
“Yes,” I smile. “I don’t know what came over me and I am sorry if I hurt you.”
He turns his whole body towards me. “Never be sorry. You’ve been through a lot and I know you’re not completely over it.” He leans forward and places his lips against my forehead. Once again… nothing; No stomach flips, no increased heart beat. Is there something wrong with me? He moves back and his blue eyes just watch me.
“I was thinking about prom” I blurt out, trying to change the conversation. I look out of the car window. “Do you want to go with me and Becks?”
“You and Becks.” He laughs. “Why would I want to go with Becks?”
I roll my eyes and turn back to look at him. “She hasn’t got a date and I really don’t want her to go alone.” I pout a little. “Please, you will be doing me a huge favour and my friend will be very happy.”
He tilts his head to the side and thinks for a second. “Okay, but I only dance with you.”
Happiness fills me and I lean over crushing my body against his. “Thank you” I sing. “You’re the best, Chase.” I actually mean the words, he is the best. The greatest friend a girl could have.
I watch as Chase pulls away from my house and drives down the road. I skip up the porch and into my house. Everything seems to be perfect. I’m going to prom and going to graduate. I have lovely friends and I have finally settled in Summerton. My mother is happy and Lacey has a bright future. A few months ago this didn’t even seem possible.
I walk through the hall and into the kitchen. I call out but no one seems to be in. Home alone. I grab a glass of water and head up to my bedroom. Even though school’s almost finished they are still piling on the homework. I get to my room and step inside.
I freeze and the glass of water slips out of my hand and smashing to the floor. My jaw drops open and all I do is
stare at my bed.
“Jen,” he softly says, sitting looking straight at me with those dark eyes. I rapidly blink, have I finally gone over the edge. He slowly stands up and walks over to me. Still I can’t find any words to say. This has to be some crazy mind game. There is no way this possibly real, the times I have spent wishing he was here.
He reaches out and brushes a loose strand of hair away from my forehead. His dark eyes softly looking down at me. “Say something…” As always I just nod, he has some strong hold over me which makes it impossible to speak. “See some things don’t change” he laughs.
“How… how did you get in here?” It’s the only thing I can think of asking. My mind has gone blank.
“Ted” he quickly replies. He pulls out Ted’s keys and with his free hand grabs one of mine. Instantly my body reacts as if an electric current has just flown through my body. My stomach flips over as if it’s doing cartwheels and my heart thuds against my chest. I have missed this; I have missed having this reaction towards another person.
He places the keys in the palm of my hand. “He said it was okay to wait for you.” He takes a step back and walks over to my bedroom window. I watch as he rests his head against the window and just stares out.
Finally my brain syncs into gear and question flow through my head. That anger kicks in and I want to know why he broke the promise.
“Why are you back?” I say forcefully, making him look at me and then back out of the window.
“Ayden, I want to know
“You already know the answer to that question.”
“Me?”
“Of course.”
Something explodes inside me and my hands turn to fists. “I don’t want you back” I yell, he finally turns to look at me. His dark eyes narrow and his mouth is in a tight line. For the first time ever in his presence I am not intimidated, that hold he had over me has gone.
He lied to me, he promised he wouldn’t leave and he did. He thinks he can just show up and everything will be as before. No way. I’ve changed. I have a life and once I graduate I am leaving Summerton to have a whole new life. I have a future and I don’t see him in it.
That’s a lie.
I begin to think of how I would cry myself to sleep reliving what happened in Seattle. Where was he? Where was he when I really needed him? Poor Chase, I treat him like dirt and he is the one who helped me. He has got me back on track and deserves so much more. Still, all I want is Ayden. From the very first moment we met, my dreams have been filled with him.
I confessed that I loved him and he just walked off without care for me. He’s back and he’s here, says the voice in my head. No! I won’t listen. Everything is perfect, okay not exactly perfect but it will do. He doesn’t have the right to be here and I don’t want him here. I feel as if I am splitting apart.
“Why did you leave me?” The words leave my mouth without a thought.
“I didn’t want too” he calmly says as he approaches me. He reaches out to touch me again and this time I let him. I’ve never had the energy to fight him off before. I like being touched by him. He is and will probably always be what I want.
“You have to believe me” he softly says. “Your mother thought it would be in your best interest if I walked away from you. I know I should have fought harder, but Tucker had just…” His voice breaks and looks down at the floor.
Tucker, I haven’t thought about him in weeks. His body lying on that cold floor. His face the exact moment he died. And why did he die? Because of my foolish self. I wanted to play the superhero and it backed fire. I’ve only been in Ayden’s presence for a few moments already I feel as if I have been dragged back there. I should hate my mother for sending Ayden away, but truthfully she did the best thing.
I pull out of Ayden’s embrace and step back. “You should leave….”
He stands straight pulling his shoulders back. His dark eyes ice over and his mouth tightens. “I will be leaving soon” he hisses, his expression not giving anything away. “But not without you!” and I know he means it.