“I think you’ve seriously misjudged mine and Draven’s relationship. He’s always been in control. With a glance, he can make my heart race, my body flush. He has a way of making me fall into his voice and forget my argument….he…he takes my breath away.”
Madison balled her fist in frustration. “Charlie, listen. If this is true, and Draven is what Britain is – that’s powerful…and you were able to convince him to forget his nature and live a life for good – to go against his own kind. Do you not see how powerful that is? How amazingly powerful your energy is?”
“How come what you’re saying isn’t making me feel any better? How come I feel like this is a bad thing?”
Madison looked down, hiding her eyes from me. “It can be. We just have to hope that Draven never forgets who he is – that he doesn’t submit to what’s calling him. Because if he does,” her eyes met mine, “there’s no telling what he could be cable of. You’ve given power…more power than you could ever imagine, more than your mom gave your dad.”
My eyes grew wide, and my body tensed. “My mom?!”
Madison’s serious expression fell, and sympathy filled her face. I knew she regretted letting that last part slip. My mom was always a touchy subject – both of my parents were – and putting them in the middle of what I was going through was almost more than I could take.
“Your power, the reason you can see like us, has nothing to do with your dad. She can see, Charlie; your dad didn’t teach her how to – she always could…just like you.”
I shook my head as angry tears glassed over my eyes. I slammed my palms against the steering wheel. I was furious at my mother. My entire life, she had not only kept me in a glass box but hidden who she really was from me. I’d barely managed to overcome the fact that not only could she always hear my father’s music, but she saw him…she knew all along and said nothing – making me feel like what I could do, the curse that allowed me to hear the sinister pleas of the darkness, was abnormal. Now, after all of this, Madison was telling me that she was just like me...just like me...that she could have made every moment in my life easier just by telling me that? Making me feel somewhat normal?!
“I don’t understand,” I said, as a pain in my heart took my breath way. “How do you know?”
Madison let out a quiet sigh. “I asked Nana…she never said a word…she just let me see her. I saw your mom telling her that she was at war with herself because she knew your dad was dangerous, that he could end who she was without even trying – make her forget, be blind – and how she feared that meant she’d lose Kara. Your mom was sick with guilt because, even though life as she knew it could end, she couldn’t stop herself. She was utterly in love with your father, and blindness seemed like a far less sacrifice than not having him in her life.”
“What are you saying - that my dad was meant to blind her like an escort? I thought you just said that people like us couldn’t be blinded? That we were the power?”
“Charlie, there is no book, myth, or even an old wise tale that could tell us what we really are or what we can do; we’re learning every day. At that time, your mom had no idea that she was powerful enough to love your dad and stay aware. Their love was so strong that it brought darkness and light to a standstill.”
“Is that what Evan meant when he said that my mom could make my dad forget? Is that why all of you think I stop this darkness from overtaking Draven?”
“Yeah..I mean, it was hard for your dad because the more he refused that dream world and power that was calling him, the more fierce it became. It was as if the darkness knew that with your mom at his side, your dad could have control over both realms - and that evil couldn’t allow him to forfeit that power and submit to the light…a life of peace.”
“He lost his battle…those nightmares caused his death…I don’t know…I don’t know what to do.”
Madison reached her arm around me, and I leaned into her. I just wanted to crawl in a hole and forget who I was, what was happening all around me. It was a lie…everything I was ever told was a lie – a lie that was right in front of me every day. Why – why would she not tell me?
“I think the fact that your gifts – the way you see, the way your mom sees – are a testimony that the light is where the true power is.”
“How do you know a part of what my dad is – isn’t inside me? That I couldn’t be just as dangerous?”
“Your dad is within you…I think that’s why you see it all…the bad, the good, the emotion – every part of a life. You can see more clearly than any one of us.”
“This just doesn’t make any sense…how is Draven dark? Was his mom dark? If she was dark, how was my mom friends with her?”
“She was bright…I thought about how the bloodline didn’t make any sense, how it didn’t flow with what I’d found about escorts, and I all I can’t think is that either Draven is a young soul…that this darkness is about to tempt him for the first time...or…or he’s an old soul that’s fought this battle and won. He never submitted, so, when he lives again - he has no memory of his past lives – he’s given to another family.”
I leaned away from her and looked at her like she was insane. “Are you hearing what you’re saying? Past lives? Old soul – young soul?! I think you’re letting your imagination run wild; this is getting out of control.”
“I know it sounds crazy…but honestly, Charlie, what about us isn’t crazy?”
My eyes left hers and slowly searched the street around us; the sun was out, but there were still shadows…they were silent. I remember noticing that it was quiet when I stepped in my garage, but I think I thought that was because Madison had already helped the ones around us. The last time I heard them was last night, when I told them to give me time…I’d never been able to keep them silent this long – and quite frankly, the silence was terrifying.
“Why is it quiet?” I whispered.
Madison swallowed harshly. “Calm before the storm. I know it sounds crazy, but…I think I miss them.”
My eyes met hers. “When was the last time you heard them?”
“On my way to your house last night…they stopped without a warning and haven’t been back since.”
“I told them to be quiet, but that was long before you could have heard them stop.”
“They’ve gone somewhere. Someone or something has their attention…or power.”
My shoulders fell as I leaned back into my seat. It felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. I couldn’t think; I couldn’t move.
“Come on, we’re late,” Madison said quietly.
“No…I’m not going in. I need to think.”
“Charlie, this could help us.”
“Then you figure it out. I’m not going in.” My tone was final, yet weak.
“Alright,” Madison said as she reached for the door handle. “Mom is meeting me here, and we’re eating at the diner – are you still not coming to that?”
I shook my head no against the seat.
“Where are you going?”
“Nowhere...here…maybe a walk. I don’t want to go home…I need to think.”
“K,” she mumbled as she crawled out of the front seat.
I don’t know how long I sat there, staring into thin air. I wanted to call my mom right then and get her to confess every secret to me, but I couldn’t find the courage. I thought about using the new aspect of seeing that Draven had taught me and just appear in her office, show my power and demand she confess - but I was too scared to try it. I reached down and fumbled with my bracelet, I turning it so I could see the tiny rock and thinking about going home and getting my dad to tell me everything, but I couldn’t find the will…I didn’t want to think of him as a dark person…I didn’t want to think of Draven as a dark person. I felt myself falling apart, crumbling right when I needed to be strong.
I reached for my phone and scrolled through the names until I found Draven’s. Right now, I wanted to be held; I wanted someone to tell me we’d m
ake it out of this - even if that was a lie.
Just as I began to text, something odd happened….calm….an addicting calm spilled over me. In a grateful daze, my eyes raised to the street, and just in front of my car I saw the source of that calm. My lips slightly smiled as I stared into Silas’s honey hazel eyes.
Chapter Nine
I let my phone fall from my hands and slowly got out of my car. Silas smiled slightly, then turned and began to walk away. With each step he took, I felt the calm around me grow weaker. I didn’t want that to happen; I wanted to feel that peace, so I began to follow him.
As I walked, I studied every part of him. He was tall, lean, yet strong. His dark jeans were loose, and his button up black shirt was playing the part of a light jacket as it remained un-tucked. He wasn’t anything like Draven or Britain. Draven’s style always reflected the musician in him – the edge to his sprit – and Britain always looked like a wealthy businessman, even when he was dressed down…but Silas, he didn’t fall anywhere near them…he had his own style, one that was comfortable…certain.
I never walked faster to catch up with him. I kept my distance as I followed him. It was as if we were both blending into a fall day on the streets of Salem. He never looked over his shoulder to see if I was behind him as he passed another block, leading me out of the common traffic of town.
I tried to focus on him, ask the simple question of who he was, how he knew me, but I couldn’t see him. When that happened with Britain – when he blocked me or only showed me a mirror image of myself - it scared me, but it didn’t with Silas. It was like I knew he was safe – almost a guardian.
I followed him for another block, then he crossed the street. I hesitated; he was walking into one of the town’s historic graveyards. It was on the south side of one of the oldest churches. I knew every part of this town from my childhood here. I’d even been to church there, but I’d never once stepped into that graveyard. A graveyard is the one place that a girl who can hear the whispers of the damned avoids.
The further away Silas got from me, the more anxious I became. I took in a deep breath and crossed the street to follow him. I thought at the very least that I’d hear my shadows again – Madison wasn’t crazy for saying she missed them…I missed them, too. They were the one thing in this world that gave me purpose. If you took away the aspect of saving the lost souls from me, there would be nothing left beyond a girl who loved music and had no idea what she wanted to do with her life – I didn’t want to be that girl. I wanted to save the lost sprits with the music I loved. I wanted to leave this world brighter than how I found it.
The wide, black rod iron gate was slightly ajar. I passed through it, then weaved around the headstones that were over six feet high. I glanced at the years and the names as I passed the almost gothic stones that seemed too close to one another. I could feel an odd, old energy surrounding me…I knew the ground I was walking on had seen more tears that I could imagine…the echoes of an historic past were so silent, I could hear it screaming at me.
I couldn’t see Silas in front of me anymore; the stones were blocking him. I blindly followed the calm I felt and let it guide me in his direction. On edge of the graveyard, just before the path that led into the back of the church, there was a gazebo. Vines covered every part of it, and flowers that only bloomed in the shadows were among these vines. Inside, I could see Silas sitting on a long swing. I held his gaze as I climbed the three steps leading to him. In my mind, I kept asking the simple question, Who are you?, over and over, finding no answers. He wasn’t letting me see him.
“Interesting place. Why are you here?” I said quietly, breaking his gaze and looking around at the solitude I found myself in.
“Do you want to be alone with me?” he asked in a tender tone. I looked back at him to find his eyes cascading across my face.
“I want to understand you...”
“Yes or no?” he asked as he leaned forward and let his elbows rest on his knees.
“Yes,” I whispered, feeling the guilt behind that request. I think for the first time in my life, no one knew where I was; there wasn’t someone who I was supposed to stay close to. My glass box had fallen, and I wasn’t afraid to step out of it.
“Have you been here before?” he asked.
I glanced back at the graveyard behind me, my silence answered his question.
“Then this place is not in your memory, and no one can find us here…we are alone…well, as alone as I can ask you to be right now.”
“Who are you?” I asked as I stepped closer to him.
He glanced to his side, asking me to sit by him. Normally, I would have been sarcastic or rude, maybe even have purposely ignored that silent request - but I didn’t feel like I needed to hide behind that with him. I walked gradually to his side and sat down.
“Silas,” he said as he looked to his side at me.
“Who is Silas?” I asked, finding myself mesmerized by the glow I could swear I saw behind the alluring color of hazel in his eyes.
“A witness.”
“What do you witness?” I mumbled, aching to see him, to know everything about him.
He smiled slightly as his eyes fell into mine. “Right now…you.”
I could feel my heart wanting to beat out of control, my anxiety wanting to take over my body - but the calm I felt surrounding him wouldn’t allow it.
Silas smiled slightly. “You really have grown dependent on that emotion, haven’t you?”
“What emotion?” I asked boldly. At first, his words didn’t even catch me off guard. I was used to Madison always referring to emotions, the way others felt both alive and dead.
“Fear…you’re fighting the peace…and I don’t know why.”
“How do you know that?”
“I see it,” he whispered as his eyes gently glided over my confused expression.
“You can see?”
His gaze captured mine, and I swear I felt my soul reach for him.
“Every part of you,” he answered quietly.
“Why do I feel like I know you?”
I saw a sadness come to his flawless features, dimming the glow of honey in his eyes. “You do…”
“How…how come I can’t see you?”
“Because…right now…it would terrify you…and I don’t want you to be scared,” he said as his eyes drifted to the stones before us.
His words gave my body reason to let my heart beat faster. Was he bad? Playing some kind of mind game on me? Was this peace I felt just bait? Had I just walked into a trap?
Silas reached for my hand, and in that moment the anxiety that was breaking through subsided. “What have they done to you…?” he asked quietly as his eyes moved to mine once again.
“Who?” I asked, unconsciously holding his hand tighter. I wanted to fall into the calming bliss I could feel pouring from his skin.
“This life.”
I furrowed my eyebrows to question his words, and he let his eyes fall from mine once again. “I’ve been looking for you…I’d almost given up hope…but then finally, a few months ago, I saw your light. I followed that path, and I’ve been waiting for a moment alone with you.”
Silence took over as I watched him carefully choose his next words. My mind was racing as I tried to remember what could have happened a few months ago…then my accident, the night I almost died and demanded that the dead defend not only me but also Draven – it all came to mind. I didn’t understand how Silas could have seen that or even why he’d been looking for it.
Silas bit his bottom lip just before he spoke. “I didn’t want you to see me the way you did last night – as your protector. I didn’t want to walk you back to that truck…I wanted your eyes to find mine in a crowd…for you to feel a pull to me, and…remember.”
My hand was squeezing his for dear life. I didn’t want the anxiety I should be feeling to have the power to surface. I knew I had to stay calm if I had any hope of understanding what he was saying.
He squeezed my hand back, then looked into my eyes again. “Breathe,” he whispered.
I let out the breath that I didn’t know I was holding.
“I don’t understand…show me what you’re saying.” I stared into his eyes, letting that plea play over and over in my mind, hoping that I’d find a way to see him.
“Not yet…it would be too much…they have suppressed the best part of you, and I will not make you weaker by telling you…you’re going to have to remember.”
I moved my head from side to side, thinking that Britain or Bianca had to have taken more of my memory than I realized. That somehow the memories of this breathtaking person were just under the surface. That because no one had given them cause to be remembered, they remained lost.
“I thought I had my memories back, that I’d broken the spell they put on me - but I guess I was wrong. You’re gonna have to help me. Draven brings my memories back with music…Madison brings them back with art…what can you do to bring them back?”
As he stared at me, I felt my soul begging to be set free. It felt like I was fighting to take my first breath – that I could see the purpose of my life just on the horizon. His eyes gradually fell from mine to my lips, then he leaned closer. My thoughts were screaming at me to back away, to move, to not look like I wanted him to kiss me - but I couldn’t move. My eyes closed against my will, and I felt his warm, tingling lips gently rest on mine. It was not a kiss filled with passion - not the way Draven’s touch always felt. It was also not a kiss that seemed to make me feel weak or guilty, the way Britain had made me feel in the past. It was a kiss that was full of an indescribable emotion, one that was innocent, complete…full of peace; like this was the only place I could truly exist. Even though I didn’t respond to the tender movement of his lips I felt an annoy of guilt swarm deep in my gut.
When the tingle of his simple, innocent kiss left my lips, I slowly opened my eyes to find him staring compassionately at me.
My head began to spin out of control, as flashes of light started to invade my vision. I felt warm and dizzy all at once. I leaned away from him, then stood and began to try and walk slowly away. I made it to the arched doorway before I lost the will to walk further. I could hear voices – echoes of a past. There was laughter, whispers…every emotion, a thousand different ways. The flashes of light grew more rapid, and on their surface I could see images of a past – a past that was layered in every era of time…there were images of me fighting battles that I knew I didn’t have the courage to face. Flashes that showed a life with a soul I loved….that showed lives with Silas. I slowly slid down the post that was balancing me. I felt like I was having a psychotic break…this was wrong – there was no way – no way that this was real. I couldn’t handle the images, so I squeezed my eyes closed. When I did that, the visions became clearer and the voices were easier to understand. I had to stop this – stop whatever was happening to my mind. I focused on the song I always hid behind – the one my father had taught me to play. Once the music came to life in my mind, images of Draven came to me. I saw his eyes staring into mine, heard him tell me that he loved me, felt the hum of his touch. The visions and voices subsided as I held my focus on Draven.