CHAPTER VI.
With the Apache's Compliments.
"Ondoubted," observed the Old Cattleman, during one of our longexcursive talks, "ondoubted, the ways an' the motives of Injuns is pastthe white man's findin' out. He's shore a myst'ry, the Injun is! an'where the paleface forever fails of his s'lootion is that the latterropes at this problem in copper-colour from the standp'int of theCaucasian. Can a dog onderstand a wolf? Which I should remark not!
"It's a heap likely that with Injuns, the white man in his turn is jestas difficult to solve. An' without the Injun findin' onusual faultwith 'em, thar's a triangle of things whereof the savage accooses thepaleface. The Western Injuns at least--for I ain't posted none onEastern savages, the same bein' happily killed off prior to mytime--the Western Injuns lays the bee, the wild turkey, an' that weedfolks calls the 'plantain,' at the white man's door. They-all descendsupon the Injun hand in hand. No, the Injun don't call the last-namedveg'table a 'plantain;' he alloodes to it as 'the White Man's Foot.'
"Thar's traits dominant among Injuns which it wouldn't lower thestandin' of a white man if he ups an' imitates a whole lot. I onceencounters a savage--one of these blanket Injuns with feathers in hisha'r--an' bein' idle an' careless of what I'm about, I staggers intocasyooal talk with him. This buck's been East for the first time inhis darkened c'reer an' visited the Great Father in Washin'ton. I askshim what he regyards as the deepest game he in his travels goesag'inst. At first he allows that pie, that a-way, makes the mostprofound impression. But I bars pie, an' tells him to su'gest thebiggest thing he strikes, not on no bill of fare. Tharupon,abandonin' menoos an' wonders of the table, he roominates a moment an'declar's that the steamboat--now that pie is exclooded--ought to getthe nomination.
"'The choo-choo boat,' observes this intelligent savage, 'is thepaleface's big medicine.'
"'You'll have a list of marvels,' I says, 'to avalanche upon the peoplewhen you cuts the trail of your ancestral tribe ag'in?'
"'No,' retorts the savage, shakin' his head ontil the skelp-lock whipshis y'ears, an' all mighty decisive; 'no; won't tell Injun nothin'.'
"'Why not?' I demands.
"'If I tell,' he says, 'they no believe. They think it all heap lie.'
"Son, consider what a example to travellers is set by that ontooteredsavage? That's what makes me say thar be traits possessed of Injuns,personal, which a paleface might improve himse'f by copyin'.
"Bein' white myse'f, I'm born with notions ag'in Injuns. I learns oftheir deestruction with relief, an' never sees one pirootin' about,full of life an' vivacity, but the spectacle fills me with vainregrets. All the same thar's a load o' lies told East concernin' theInjun. I was wont from time to time to discuss these red folks withGen'ral Stanton, who for years is stationed about in Arizona,an'--merely for the love he b'ars to fightin'--performs as chief ofscouts for Gen'ral Crook.
"'Our divers wars with the Apaches,' says Gen'ral Stanton, 'comes moreas the frootes of a misdeal by a locoed marshal than anything elsebesides. When Crook first shows up in Arizona--this is in the longago--an' starts to inculcate peace among the Apaches, he gets oldJeffords to bring Cochise to him to have a pow-wow. Jeffords rounds upCochise an' herds him with soft words an' big promises into thepresence of Crook. The Grey Fox--which was the Injun name forCrook--makes Cochise a talk. Likewise he p'ints out to the chief thelandmarks an' mountain peaks that indicates the Mexican line. An' theGrey Fox explains to Cochise that what cattle is killed an' what skelpsis took to the south'ard of the line ain't goin' to bother him a bit.But no'th'ard it's different; thar in that sacred region cattle killin'an' skelp collectin' don't go. The Grey Fox shoves the information onCochise that every trick turned on the American side of the line hasdone got to partake of the characteristics of a love affair, or theGrey Fox with his young men in bloo--his walk-a-heaps an' hishoss-warriors--noomerous as the grass, they be--will come down onCochise an' his Apaches like a coyote on a sage hen or a pan of milkfrom a top shelf an' make 'em powerful hard to find.
"'Cochise smokes an' smokes, an' after considerin' the bluff of theGrey Fox plenty profound, allows he won't call it. Thar shall be peacebetween the Apache an' the paleface to the no'th'ard of that line.Then the Grey Fox an' Cochise shakes hands an' says "How!" an' Cochise,with a bolt or two of red calico wherewith to embellish his squaws,goes squanderin' back to his people, permeated to the toes withfriendly intentions.
"'Sech is Cochise's reverence for his word, coupled with his fear ofthe Grey Fox, that years float by an' every deefile an' canyon of theSouthwest is as safe as the aisles of a church to the moccasins of thepaleface. Thus it continyoos ontil thar comes a evenin' when a jimcrowmarshal, with more six-shooters than hoss sense, allows he'll apprehendCochise's brother a whole lot for some offense that ain't most likelydeuce high in the category of troo crime. This ediot offishul reachesfor the relative of Cochise; an' as the latter--bein' a savage an'tharfore plumb afraid of captivity--leaps back'ard like he's met upwith a rattlesnake, the marshal puts his gun on him an' plugs him sogood that he cashes in right thar. The marshal says later inexplanation of his game that Cochise's brother turns hostile an' dropshis hand on his knife. Most likely he does; a gent's hands--even aApache's--has done got to be some'ers.
"'But the killin' overturns the peaceful programmes built up betweenthe Grey Fox an' Cochise. When the old chief hears of his brotherbein' downed, he paints himse'f black an' red an' sends a bundle ofarrows tied with a rattlesnake skin to the Grey Fox with a message tocount his people an' look out for himse'f. The Grey Fox, who realisesthat the day of peace has ended an' the sun gone down to rise on amornin' of trouble, fills the rattlesnake skin with cartridges an'sends 'em back with a word to Cochise to turn himse'f loose. From thatmoment the war-jig which is to last for years is on. After Cochisecomes Geronimo, an' after Geronimo comes Nana; an' one an' all, theyadds a heap of spice to life in Arizona. It's no exaggeration to putthe number of palefaces who lose their ha'r as the direct result ofthat fool marshal layin' for Cochise's brother an' that Injun'sconsequent cuttin' off, at a round ten thousand. Shore! thar's scoresan' scores who's been stood up an' killed in the hills whereof we nevergets a whisper. I, myse'f, in goin' through the teepees of a Apacheoutfit, after we done wipes 'em off the footstool, sees the long ha'rof seven white women who couldn't have been no time dead.
"'Who be they? Folks onknown who's got shot into while romancin' alongamong the hills with schemes no doubt of settlement in Californy.
"'With what we saveys of the crooelties of the Apaches, thar's likewisea sperit of what book-sharps calls chivalry goes with 'em an' albeit onone ha'r-hung o'casion I profits mightily tharby, I'm onable to give ita reason. You wouldn't track up on no sim'lar weaknesses among thepalefaces an' you-all can put down a stack on that.
"'It's when I'm paymaster,' says the Gen'ral, reachin' for the canteen,'an' I starts fo'th from Fort Apache on a expedition to pay off thenearby troops. I've got six waggons an' a escort of twenty men. Formyse'f, at the r'ar of the procession, I journeys proudly in aamb'lance. Our first camp is goin' to be on top of the mesa out ahandful of miles from the Fort.
"'The word goes along the line to observe a heap of caution an' notstraggle or go rummagin' about permiscus, for the mountains is alivewith hostiles. It's five for one that a frownin' cloud of 'em ishangin' on our flanks from the moment we breaks into the foothills.No, they'd be afoot; the Apaches ain't hoss-back Injuns an' only fondof steeds as food. He never rides on one, a Apache don't, but he'llcamp an' build a fire an' eat a corral full of ponies if you'll furnish'em, an' lick his lips in thankfulness tharfore. But bein' afoot won'thinder 'em from keepin' up with my caravan, for in the mountains thesnow is to the waggon beds an' the best we can do, is wriggle along thetrail like a hurt snake at a gait which wouldn't tire a papoose.
"'We've been pushin' on our windin' uphill way for mighty likely half aday, an' I'm beginnin'--so dooms slows is our progress--to despair ofgettin' out on top the mesa
before dark, when to put a coat of paint onthe gen'ral trouble the lead waggon breaks down. I turns out in thesnow with the rest, an' we-all puts in a heated an' highly profanehalf-hour restorin' the waggon to health. At last we're onder headwayag'in, an' I wades back through the snow to my amb'lance.
"'As I arrives at the r'ar of my offishul waggon, it occurs to me thatI'll fill a pipe an' smoke some by virchoo of my nerves, the same bein'torn and frayed with the many exasperations of the day. I gives mydriver the word to wait a bit, an' searchin' forth my tobacco outfitloads an' lights my pipe. I'm planted waist deep in the mountainsnows, but havin' on hossman boots the snow ain't no hardship.
"'While I'm fussin' with my pipe, the six waggons an' my twenty mencurves 'round a bend in the trail an' is hid by a corner of the canyon.I reflects at the time--though I ain't really expectin' no perils--thatI'd better catch up with my escort, if it's only to set the troops aexample. As I exhales my first puff of smoke and is on the verge oftellin' my driver to pull out--this yere mule-skinner is settin' sothat matters to the r'ar is cut off from his gaze by the canvas coverof my waggon--a slight noise attracts me, an' castin' my eye along thetrail we've been climbin', I notes with feelin's of disgust a fulldozen Apaches comin'. An' it ain't no hyperbole to say they're shorecomin' all spraddled out.
"'In the lead for all the deep snow, an' racin' up on me like the wind,is a big befeathered buck, painted to the eyes; an' in his right fist,raised to hurl it, is a 12-foot lance. As I surveys this pageant, Irealises how he'pless, utter, I be, an' with what ca'mness I may,adjusts my mind to the fact that I've come to the end of my trails.He'pless? Shore! I'm stuck as firm in the snow as one of the pinesabout me; my guns is in the waggon outen immediate reach; thar I standsas certain a prey to that Apache with the lance as he's likely to go upag'inst doorin' the whole campaign. Why, I'm a pick-up! I remembersmy wife an' babies, an' sort o' says "Goodbye!" to 'em, for I'm ascertain of my finish as I be of the hills, or the snows beneath myfeet. However, since it's all I can do, I continyoos to smoke an'watch my execootioners come on.
"'The big lance Injun is the dominatin' sperit of the bunch. As hedraws up to me--he's fifty foot in advance of the others--he makes hislance shiver from p'int to butt. It fairly sings a death song! I canfeel it go through an' through me a score of times. But I stands tharfacin' him; for, of course, I wants it to go through from the front. Idon't allow to be picked up later with anything so onfashionable as alance wound in my back. That would be mighty onprofessional!
"'You onderstands that what now requires minutes in the recital don'tcover seconds as a play. The lance Injun runs up to within a rod of mean' halts. His arm goes back for a mighty cast of the lance; theweepon is vibrant with the very sperit of hate an' malice. His eyes,through a fringe of ha'r that has fallen over 'em, glows out like acat's eyes in the dark.
"We stands thar--I still puffin my pipe, he with his lance raised--an'we looks on each other--I an' that paint-daubed buck! I can't saywhatever is his notion of me, but on my side I never beholds a savagewho appeals to me as a more evil an' forbiddin' picture!
"'As I looks him over a change takes place. The fire in his eyes diesout, his face relaxes its f'rocity, an' after standin' for a moment an'as the balance of the band arrives, he turns the lance over his arm an'with the butt presented, surrenders it into my hand. You can gamble Idon't lose no time in arguin' the question, but accepts the lance withall that it implies. Bringin' the weepon to a 'Right Shoulder' an'with my mind relieved, I gives the word to my mule-skinner--who'sonconscious of the transactions in life an' death goin' on behind hisback--an' with that, we-all takes up our march an' soon comes up on theescort where it's ag'in fixed firm in the snow about a furlong to thefore. My savages follows along with me, an' each of 'em as grave assquinch owls an' tame as tabby cats.
"'Joke? no; them Apaches was as hostile as Gila monsters! Butbeholdin' me, as they regyards it--for they don't in their ontaughtsimplicity make allowance for me bein' implanted in the snow, gunlessan' he'pless--so brave, awaitin' deestruction without a quiver, theiradmiration mounts to sech heights it drowns within 'em every thought ofcancellin' me with that lance, an' tharupon they pays me their savagecompliments in manner an' form deescribed. They don't regyardthemse'fs as surrenderin' neither; they esteems passin' me the lance asinauguratin' a armistice an' looks on themse'fs as guests of honor an'onder my safegyard, free to say "How!" an' vamos back to the warpathag'in whenever the sperit of blood begins to stir within their breasts.I knows enough of their ways to be posted as to what they expects; an'bein', I hopes, a gent of integrity, I accedes to 'em that exact statuswhich they believes they enjoys.
"'They travels with me that day, eats with me that evenin' when wemakes our camp, has a drink with me all 'round, sings savage hymns tome throughout the night, loads up with chuck in the mornin', offers meno end of flattery as a dead game gent whom they respects, says_adios_; an' then they scatters like a flock of quail. Also, havin'resoomed business on old-time lines, they takes divers shots at us withtheir Winchesters doorin' the next two days, an' kills a hoss an'creases my sergeant. Why don't I corral an' hold 'em when they're inmy clutch? It would have been breakin' the trooce as Injuns an' Ionderstands sech things; moreover, they let me go free withoutconditions when I was loser by every roole of the game.'"