Chapter Seven
The morning came too soon and the lack of sound sleep didn’t make it any better. I was in a foul mood and didn’t want to be bothered with anything or anybody. I needed to get ready for work, but I didn’t feel like that either. That said a lot about my mood. In all the time I had been a nurse, I can only think of one or two times I didn’t feel like working. Having the chance to help other people always brought me a sense of accomplishment. There were people who helped me when I was struggling and I prided myself on being able to pay it forward and help somebody else who was hurting.
But that sense of responsibility wasn’t cutting it. I called and told them I wasn’t coming in. Somebody else could play the superhero today. I decided to get the mail and then come back in and relax - maybe even fix me a bite to eat. I can’t remember the last time I ate!
Normally I try to put on a little something to go to the mailbox, but today all that seemed like too much to do. I grabbed my house robe from off the hook on the bathroom door. It was just decent enough to make a quick run downstairs and get back into my apartment before the neighbors could see me. At least now if they did, they wouldn’t see my wrinkled nurse’s uniform that I obviously slept in. After I got the mail, I would come back in, take a hot shower, put on my favorite pj’s, eat a hearty breakfast and try to relax.
I slid my feet in my house slippers, grabbed my keys from off the floor where I had dropped them the night before and locked the door behind me. Sure I had been in this building for a while and most of my neighbors I knew in passing, but you could never be too trusting. All I needed was for somebody to slip into my apartment while I was downstairs at the mailbox. People could be so shiesty these days.
Going down the stairs this morning was much easier than climbing up them the night before. As I rounded the corner to descend to the first floor, I saw an all too familiar presence entering the hallway. I acted like I didn’t see him and made my way down the few remaining stairs. I hoped he didn’t see me. I slowed my descent in an attempt to make sure we didn’t bump into each other. I didn’t want to be forced to make idiotic small talk. I despised even the sight of this coward.
Fortunately, he didn’t turn in my direction. Instead, he locked the door turned toward the front door and kept going. He didn’t notice I was standing just a few feet behind him. If my arms were long enough I would reach out and grab your ass and choke the shit out of you! The thought made me smile. Percy would have never known what hit him.
I waited until the door to the apartment building closed behind him before I made my way over to the mailbox. I wonder if Zenobia is okay? The thought crossed my mind, but what happened between the two of them really wasn’t my business. I fumbled for the mailbox key and upon finding it, I opened the box to see what gifts awaited me - junk mail, bill, junk mail…Zenobia…bill, bill...The same ole, same ole. I locked the empty box and made my way back to the staircase. Zenobia…
Damn! All I had to do was climb the stairs, go into my apartment, lock the door and block out the rest of the fucking world. But noooo! My conscious, or God or something was telling me to do otherwise. Ugh! Seeing about her wasn’t leaving me alone.
Okay, how am I going to do this? I could lie and say that the mail lady made a mistake again and put her mail in my box. Nah, that wouldn’t work. Then I would have to produce the mail and the jig would be up. I was scrambling to figure out what possible excuse I could come up with for knocking on her door. I had nothing…
Shit! Okay. Just knock on the damn door Gina and get it over with. All that cussing let me know it wasn’t God.
I moved away from the steps and looked over my shoulder at the staircase like it was a long lost friend.
I walked the few feet to their door; still trying to convince myself that it was not too late to turn and simply walk away. Somebody was there for you… okay, okay I’m knocking already! I thought personally chastising myself.
I knocked lightly on the door. The unconcerned, self-focused side of me hoped she wouldn’t answer. Maybe she wasn’t home? Maybe she had left the house before he did? Maybe she was lying in there and couldn’t move…
No answer…I waited a few seconds and knocked a bit harder. Still no answer…
Just as I made the turn to head back to the stairs - shamefully breathing a sigh of relief - I heard the door open slowly behind me.
I turned back to see Zenobia doubled over. She was barely able to lift her head.
What the hell? Instantly I was at her side. The nurse in me kicked in. Without uttering a word, I helped her back into the apartment; shutting and locking the door behind us. I paused long enough to latch the chain at the top just in case the fuckup came back unexpectedly.
I helped Zenobia to the closest place she could sit, and knelt down next to her. Although I took in the sites of their apartment, my focus was on her. He had really done a number on her.
“Zenobia…”
She began to cry.
I reached out to her; raising up from my knees and putting my arm around her shoulders. She collapsed into me hugging my neck and sobbing deeply. Her body shuttered with every new round of tears. I wrapped my arms around her and let her cry.
After a few moments she whispered in my ear, “I thought he was going to kill me…”
The tears began to flow afresh as the realization of the words she spoke registered in her spirit.
As we physically parted - me returning to kneeling and Zenobia sitting back in her chair - I asked her what happened. I knew men like Percy didn’t need any sort of provocation to lash out, but something serious and different had transpired.
She spoke softly and painfully; her face and lips swollen.
“…I told him I was pregnant…”
And that was a reason for him to beat her beyond recognition? I was completely disgusted, but refrained from letting my feelings show.
“And this is what he did to you?”
“Yeah,” she replied wincing from the pain of speaking. “At first he didn’t really say too much. It was kind of hard to tell what he was thinking. He didn’t look excited, but I figured with a little time - once he let the good news sink in - he would be as excited as I was. He left the apartment for a little while. When he came back I could tell he’d been smoking again. I knew then it was going to be bad. He went from zero to insane so quick, Gina. I didn’t have a chance…” Between the pain she was obviously in and the weight of her new reality settling in, her words were tinged with anguish and despair. The tears began to fall again.
“He got so upset. He said it was the wrong time, and went on and on about how we couldn’t afford it. I told him we should be happy and how the baby was a blessing. I thought we could make it work, but he disagreed…” Zenobia winced in pain again and this time she grabbed her stomach almost doubling over.
“We need to get you to the hospital, Zenobia. We need to get you there right away.” I looked around for a phone to call the ambulance. I would drive her myself, but the ambulance would be faster. I took in the obvious damage that had been done to the apartment. The couch was sitting catawampus as evidenced by the old indentations in the carpet. There was a hole in the living room wall closest to the kitchen where either his fist or her head made an indelible impression. The side table was tossed and on its side with all the things that once sat on display atop it now sprawled on the floor.
“No, no Gina,” she protested. “I’ll be okay. I just need to lie down for a minute.” Every word spoken came with great effort as she held tightly to her abdomen; both hands crossed over her belly as she rocked back and forth.
I knew how she felt. There were always too many nosey professionals wanting to find out what happened and notifying the police because what happened undeniable. I never wanted to go to the hospital either, but I wasn’t willing to just let it go - no matter how much I understood.
“But wha
t about the baby?” I had to refocus her attention. It was more than just her pride and Percy going to jail she had to think about. She had another life to consider; one that didn’t ask to be here.
“The baby…” she replied as if for just a moment she had forgotten. Given everything that had transpired it was easy enough to do.
It took a few more minutes to convince her she didn’t really have a choice but to get some medical attention. She pointed me in the direction of the telephone and I called 911 and requested help.
I returned to her side from the kitchen and let her know help was on the way. She hung her head - maybe from shame or maybe from the realization that she couldn’t keep his abuse a secret anymore. All I could think about was the baby. Whatever was supposed to happen would happen. I would just have to stick my neck out again and be here to help her as much as I could- as much as she would let me.
The knock at the door startled us both. We were expecting medical services, but it could have just as easily been Percy. Zenobia had her hand over her heart - evidence of her nervousness. I told her I would get it. I didn’t want her to try and stand. I hoped it was the emergency technicians. If it was Percy, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. If he saw me on the other side of his apartment door, ain’t no telling what his reaction would be.
The knock came again. I braced myself for the worst. Peering through the keyhole I could just make out the white uniform shirt and red chest badge of the emergency service worker. I breathed an audible sigh of relief as I nodded to Zenobia that it was okay.
I opened the door and two workers walked in. I pointed them in the direction of Zenobia and closed and locked the door behind them.
She was in good hands now. They asked her a few questions, completed the preliminary assessments and radioed in to alert the hospital that they were bringing in a patient. One of the techs left out briefly and returned with the gurney.
They helped Zenobia onto it and strapped her in. If they could get her out of here, and to the hospital before Percy could return, everything would be okay.
As they got ready to exit the apartment, I reassured Zenobia everything would be all right.
“Would you go with me?” she asked as they began to exit the apartment. Her eyes pleaded with me; her voice compelled a response.
I could make an excuse. I’m in my house robe and slept-in uniform, I thought to myself. But my mouth defied me.
“Sure Zenobia, I’ll go with you.” Her taking this challenging and possibly life-altering step was far more important than my physical appearance. She needed somebody right now and that somebody was me. She pointed me in the direction of the key to lock her apartment and I followed the gurney to the awaiting ambulance in the front of the building.
Once we got her safely inside, I breathed a sigh of relief we hadn’t run into Percy on this rescue mission. Zenobia seemed to be breathing a little easier as well, but you could still see worry and concern in her swollen eyes. The med techs continued to assess her situation; reporting into the hospital her vitals as we rode to the emergency room – my home away from home.
As expected, the emergency room was still buzzing. Summer was always hell. They wheeled Zenobia back to triage to gather a full assessment of her situation. I didn’t want to stay out in the waiting room, but at the same time I really didn’t want to be a part of the medical team that worked on Zenobia. It would feel too much like a conflict of interest on so many levels. I knew she would be in good hands. Since I called out, I knew my co-workers would be looking at me sideways. At this point I really didn’t care.
I ducked behind the nurses’ station. One of my closest counterparts was on shift.
“Girl you look a hot mess!” Yvette said laughingly.
I understood why she was putting me on blast, but she didn’t have to say it out loud.
“Hush girl! Trust me; I didn’t plan to be here. Hell, you already know that.”
“Yeah I was a bit concerned when you called in. You know Mary was asking me what was going on with you.”
Mary was the head nurse. I have worked with her for years. She’s cool, but I never really connected with her like I did with Yvette. I don’t like to let everybody in on what’s going on with me.
“I’m sure she was with her nosey self,” I replied rolling my eyes jokingly. “Ain’t nothing really going on. I’m just tired as all get out. These long ass shifts…hell, I’m tired!”
Yvette smiled and said laughingly, “I bet you are. You ain’t no spring chicken.”
“Go to hell, Yvette,” I quipped. “You know you ain’t either.”
We kidded around for a while; catching up from the last time we worked a shift together.
“So why are you here on your day off?”
“Girl, you know I hadn’t planned on being here, but my neighbor was going through some things and I got caught up.”
I gave Yvette a quick run-down of what happened and brought her up to speed without going into all the sordid details. Zenobia deserved some level of privacy.
“I sure hate to hear that,” she replied sympathetically. “I hope it all works out for her, but in the meantime, let me help you get yourself together.”
Yvette and I went into the employee area where there were lockers, showers and a place to rest. Between the two of us, we came up with some clean scrubs for me to wear and I took a hot shower and freshened up. I felt better. I was still tired, but at least I was clean.
I wanted to find out what was going on with Zenobia, and wondered if Percy had returned to the apartment and realized she was gone. What would he do when he found out? I’m sure somebody at the building saw what was going on and would tell him. He bet’ not bring his ass down here causing no trouble. He ain’t on his own turf no more. His ass would be dealt with quick up in this piece!
My mind told me to peek out in the waiting room to see if he had found his way down here. I peered into the crowded waiting area to see if I saw him. At one point I thought I saw someone who looked like him, but when he turned around, it wasn’t. I felt relieved. Not that I was afraid of Percy - that was the furthest thing from the truth - but I wanted Zenobia to have a real chance of being okay without having to deal with any unnecessary drama and foolishness from him.
I made my way back to triage. They had been with Zenobia close to an hour; surely they would know something at this point. As I made the corner, I could see Dr. Randolph through the partially closed curtain near Zenobia’s bed. I didn’t want to intrude so I waited outside the curtain until he was finished.
I could slightly overhear what he was saying over the low buzz of nurses coming and going, gurneys being wheeled in an out and people moving around to attend to the needs of the sick.
Once the doctor made his exit, I went in to check on Zenobia. The swelling of her face hadn’t changed very much, and I could tell she had been crying. I don’t know how long Dr. Randolph had been in with her, but something had her upset again. When she saw me, the tears begin to form in her eyes. I dreaded what she would tell me.
I reached out to her and held her hand as I sat in the lone plastic chair by her bedside. I wasn’t sure what to say or whether I needed to say anything at all. Maybe she would tell me when she was ready.
Her tears became more intense. I held her hand a little tighter and she squeezed mine back.
“It’s gone…” she said between sobs. I couldn’t quite hear her and make out what she was trying to tell me. I had my suspicions, but I didn’t want to presume.
“What do you mean, Zenobia?” I asked dreading the response.
She turned and looked at me. She was still crying, but her eyes took on a new intensity.
“He killed my baby!” she screamed. “That fuckin’ bastard killed my baby!” The sadness, anguish and pain took over and she sobbed again.
All I could do was drop my head. What do you say at a time like this? I?
??m sorry? Well that shit doesn’t always cut it. I knew her pain all too well. I knew the pain of having the very life that you and the person you loved created be taken from you in an instant at the hands of the motherfucker still professing to love you. It was a sickening feeling. That was some hard shit to deal with for real.
“ZENOBIA!” I heard coming from behind me in the direction of the waiting area.
“ZENOBIA! Where the fuck is she?”
Nobody needed to tell me who it was. When she heard it that scared look crept back over her face just beyond the sadness and intensity. She squeezed my hand tighter. Her eyes were fiery.
“Gina please…I can’t…I can’t…” She sounded exacerbated, but she didn’t need to say anymore. I knew how to handle this one.
I made my way towards the waiting area. I wasn’t the only one either. Hospital security was making their way there as well. Like I said before, he may be able to bully and beat on her behind closed doors, but he was playing in another arena now. Wasn’t nobody gone let that shit go down in here.
The waiting area was almost silent with the exception of Percy making an asshole of himself thinking he could push his way back into the triage area. Security reached him before I did and quickly got him under some level of control.
“Sir, if you are unable to control yourself you will be asked to leave,” one officer instructed.
“I need to see Zenobia! Where she at?!” His voice was still raised, and of course he was still showing his ass.
“Now sir, if you don’t quiet down we will escort you out of here,” the officer reprimanded him again.
He lowered his tone but his ignorance continued to shine through. “Man, I don’t give a shit what ya’ll talking about. I’m gone see my girl, that’s for damn sho. Throw me out…Humph, you motherfuckers ain’t even real police! Ya’ll some rent-a-cop type motherfuckers.”
The other officer stepped in, “Okay, you are going to have to leave. We tried to give you a chance to calm down, but obviously you can’t, so if you would please come with us.”
The officer reached for Percy’s arm to escort him out of the building.
“You betta' take your damn hands off me! I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but it ain’t going down like that. I’m not leaving this motherfucker until I see my girl…straight up.”
Before he could finish his little tirade, both officers moved in quickly placing his hands behind his back and whipping out handcuffs to halt his activity. And then he saw me.
“I know you had something to do with this ole bitch…”
And with that he was whisked to the front of the building and out to the sidewalk. I didn’t know whether security was going to turn him over to the police or what. I didn’t much care. All I was concerned about was him not being able to get to Zenobia - at least not today. She was already upset enough. She didn’t need the extra drama from him.
I made my way back to be with Zenobia, and was glad that little fiasco was over. Yvette caught me in the hallway and told me they had transferred Zenobia to a semi-private room. Dr. Randolph decided to keep her a few days for observation. I thanked Yvette for the update and made my way up to room 354.
Zenobia jumped when I opened the door. Hearing Percy showing his ass, and not knowing what would happen next obviously had her on edge. Once she was reassured that the matter was handled she seemed to be able to relax a bit more.
She started speaking. It was as though she had been in the middle of a conversation with herself that she decided to share out loud. The look of intensity in her eyes had now been replaced. Her gaze left me and turned toward the window. I took a seat next to the bed as the pressurized door closed behind me.
“I don’t know if I’ve ever been this sad in my life…I had kind of dismissed the notion of having kids with Percy cause things were not going so good… but when I found out I was pregnant something happened, Gina. At first I was like the timing is all wrong and the situation ain’t what it needs to be, but then it was like all those prayers paid off. All those dreams I’d had of being a mother flooded me. I was so happy – scared but happy. I thought for sure Percy would be excited, too. Maybe not in the beginning, but I thought once we sat down and talked about it he would see how happy and excited I was and would be okay with it. Sure it would be a struggle with the job situation and stuff, but isn’t love supposed to conquer all? That’s what people say, Gina. Love is supposed to conquer everything. It’s not like we hadn’t talked about it before. We did plenty of times. He always said he wanted us to be a real family. And I believed him, Gina. When he used to tell me that I believed him! He took all away that from me. Even after everything that man has put me through - up until today - I could say that I loved him. But after he killed my baby? I’m not sure I can say it anymore. I think I hate him.”