We spent the rest of the evening together talking, crying and sharing those things that had inevitably brought us together. Her story was my story, and I was starting to feel that way more and more. I wasn’t so concerned with going home and resting anymore. I was here now and apparently this was where I was supposed to be.
Zenobia was up and down all night. She was still in a lot of pain and the nurses and doctors regularly checked her vital signs to make sure she was improving. They gave her some medication to help with her physical pain, but there was nothing they could do about her heart. You could tell in her voice her heart was broken. She sounded like she had finally hit rock bottom. You could all see the hurt all over her face.
I woke up before Zenobia. Falling asleep in the chair definitely wasn’t the most comfortable way to sleep, but I couldn’t leave her. She needed somebody to be there with her. I asked her earlier in the evening if she wanted to call her family or one of her friends, but she said no. She didn’t want to have to deal with the I told you so’s and having them make her feel bad for what happened. She already felt bad enough. Zenobia didn’t have to tell me twice. I knew all too well what it felt like to have your choices rubbed in your face. People can be so condescending. Don’t they understand that kind of stuff isn’t helpful? It only makes things worse.
Zenobia’s face was still horribly swollen. Percy had really done a number on her. The deeply shaded blacks and blues around her eyes seemed more pronounced in the morning light. She began to stir and immediately started to wince.
“Sssss…ewwww…can you close the curtains? The light hurts my eyes.”
I crossed in front of the bed and made my way over to the window to draw the curtains. One would think the dawning of a new day would be refreshing, but sometimes it was just a horrible reminder of the pain.
“How’d you sleep?” Although I had my own ideas, I wanted to hear it from her.
“Not well at all,” she said as she used the remote control to adjust her position in bed. “Every time I closed my eyes and tried to rest, all I could see was my baby.”
“What do you mean?” I stretched a bit trying to shake the discomfort in my joints.
“I could see my baby - not the 8 week old baby he took from me - but the baby I was meant to have at the end.”
“Oh…” I didn’t know what else to say.
As Zenobia spoke, she rubbed her belly.
“It was so clear. I could see the baby’s face and cute little dimpled chin. I counted the baby’s toes and fingers to make sure they were all there. I was so happy, Gina. I was so excited. I finally had my baby girl.”
“So you did sleep well then, right?”
“Well that part of my dream was great. Had it stayed that way, I would be able to say I had a wonderful sleep. But it didn’t stay that way.” Her countenance changed from the half smile to scorn.
“He was there. He was in my dream and took her away from me. He snatched my little girl out my arms and took her away. I didn’t know where they went. I kept calling for him to bring her back; begging him to let me hold her a little while longer. Instead, he turned his back to me and kept walking further and further away. I couldn’t see her anymore, and after a while he was gone, too. I searched and searched, but I just couldn’t find them.”
The depth of her sadness was overwhelming. I leaned against the window sill feeling the wave of grief overtaking the room. Zenobia was silent. I expected tears, but there were none.
“He needs to pay…”
Zenobia sat up further in the bed; her back distanced from the pillows that had previously supported her. Her hands were clinched together tightly.
I didn’t need to ask who he was. I knew instantly.
The energy in the room began to change. The weighty feelings of sadness and remorse were overshadowed by a surge of intensity.
Even through the swelling I could see focus in Zenobia’s eyes as I crossed the room and again took the chair next to her bed.
“You remember when I said death would be the one thing that would end my relationship with him, Gina?”
I nodded my head.
“I expected him to get so angry that I would end up dead. But what he did to me was worse. He took the only thing I ever really wanted, and he’s gonna’ have to pay for that. I can forgive him for every low-life thing he has ever done to me, but killing my baby? Ain’t no forgiveness for that!”
I felt her angst; the same anger that burned in her loins ignited the sleeping giant in my own. I knew what revenge tasted like; it had been on my lips for years. But unlike Zenobia, I never executed my wild and dangerous fantasy of taking out the one who hurt me so callously. Instead of shying away from the vengeance of which she spoke, I moved closer to her; the electrical current of vindictiveness and vindication moving between us like a kindred spirit. I had tasted the bittersweet flavor of revenge on my lips, but now I wanted to know what getting even felt like.
“What do you have in mind?”
Her gaze slowly turned to me. Our eyes locked. Words were no longer necessary, and the bond between us was sealed at that moment. We were in this together. She didn’t have to ask. I leaned closer to her and our futures merged.
“I want him to pay for it all - everything he has ever done to me. I want him to know what this kind of hurt feels like. I want him to suffer, Gina… quick would be too good for him.”
My mind was racing. I thought of a hundred ways to take him out; one more dastardly than the next.
“After that last situation when he got arrested, I made sure he made his court date. They gave him probation and time served, so the courts won’t be looking for him. The only problem is with the probation officer. He’s supposed to report in. If he doesn’t that’s considered a violation and they’ll probably revoke his probation. Then they’ll issue a warrant for his arrest. I need to be able to work around that part. I need to buy myself some time.”
The way Zenobia was talking let me know she had thought about this before. She was contemplative. Even though she may not have been physically ready to leave him, she had obviously given some thought to how to end it.
“You mean, buy US some time.”
She smiled. That was all the confirmation she needed from me. There were some real risks involved in this whole thing, but neither of us was willing to let the risks outweigh the benefits. Percy would pay not only for his sins, but the sins of his brethren who thought it was all right to beat on a woman. I may not be able to get Mac for what he did to me, but Percy would pay for them both. One way or another, they both would pay.