Yeah, it doesn’t mean anything, Brooke thought on Friday night as she stood with her arm through Brady’s, waiting to walk down the track. Except to the crowd, to the BC fanatics who come to all the games, or to the people who come back every year for Homecoming and see Brooke Carlson and Brady Cash together for the third year in a row. They’d probably be shocked to know we’re both dating somebody else. They probably think we’re so adorable, such a perfect couple.
It was nice to think that most of the crowd probably thought she and Brady were together, but it sucked to know that wasn’t the actual truth. And Brooke did really like Matt; they had a great time together, he was hot and sweet, he didn’t pressure her to have sex, and he was a great kisser. She couldn’t really have asked for a better boyfriend. It’s just that he wasn’t Brady.
Because Brady hadn’t had to pressure her for sex. She hadn’t been able to keep her hands off him on their first date, and she’d wanted him more than she’d ever wanted a guy before. That obviously said something, right? She liked Matt, but Brady must be the one for her, because she had such better chemistry with him. And it’s not like that’s all they had. They’d been friends for two years, and they got along really well, and they had fun together. They were always teasing each other and flirting, and it was just so natural.
And Brady can’t really love Lorylyn, right? Brooke thought now. ‘Cause if he did, he wouldn’t be sleeping with me. Brooke knew Brady and Lorylyn hadn’t even come close to having sex yet; that’s what he’d told her. He’d asked if she and Matt were having sex, and she’d said they weren’t yet, wanting Brady to get jealous thinking they might do it soon.
She sighed now as Hilton and Riley started off down the track in front of her and Brady.
“What’s wrong?” Brady asked quietly, leaning into her a little.
“Nothing,” Brooke said. Thinking about everything was putting her in a bad mood, because she’d thought things were going well and that she was happy, but she was really no closer to getting Brady than she’d been last year at this time. She’d just realized it, and it left her feeling empty and unsure inside.
“Are you sure?”
Brooke nodded without looking at him. As their names were announced, they began walking, and Brooke gripped his arm a little tighter, needing to feel a closeness between them. As they approached the crowd, she fixed a smile on her face, tossed her long shiny brown hair over her shoulder, and stood up a little taller. At least she knew she looked good, and she might as well enjoy this moment with Brady while she could.
***
That night Lindy had a sleepover, just as she had last year on Homecoming weekend. A bunch of the boys snuck over, and they all went out by Lindy’s pond to drink and play spin the bottle again. But Brady didn’t come this year, because he’d gone to Bennett’s with Lorylyn and Landon and the sophomores, and Brooke wasn’t in the mood to be around Matt. Without Brady here, she felt empty and depressed and just wanted to go home and go to bed.
She excused herself from spin the bottle to use the bathroom, and when she got back to Lindy’s house, she went straight to Lindy’s room, threw herself on the bed, and burst into tears. How had everything gotten to be such a mess without her even realizing it till now? Dating Matt had helped for a while, because she was never just sitting at home thinking about Brady being with Lorylyn. She was always busy, and it helped keep her mind off it. But now she felt like she’d lost her focus, which had been to make Brady realize he should be with her. Dating Matt didn’t seem to be making him jealous at all. She wondered if he’d be jealous if she and Matt were having sex. Maybe. Or maybe if she started having sex with Matt, then told Brady she didn’t really feel the need to have sex with him anymore...maybe then he’d beg her to keep hooking up. But what if he didn’t? Then she would’ve blown everything. It was a huge risk, and she didn’t know what to do. But...if Brady didn’t try to get her to keep hooking up, she could always wait a couple months, then break up with Matt and ask Brady to start hooking up again. She was sure he wouldn’t turn her down. And plus, that’d make it seem to him like she was just using him for sex when she wasn’t getting it anywhere else. That was good. That’s what she wanted it to seem like. That way she wouldn’t appear too vulnerable, and maybe if she really gave him a clear message that sex was all he meant to her, he’d realize he wanted to mean more.
She sat up and wiped at her eyes. She’d made her decision. It was the only option she could see. The next time she saw Brady, she’d tell him it was over. Or maybe she’d just email him.
She headed outside to find Matt. Wouldn’t he be surprised tomorrow after the dance when he found out it was his lucky night?
***
At Bennett’s, everyone was sitting around playing euchre.
“Hey, Jill, you said your dress was purple, right?” Todd asked. “That’s what I told my mom when she went to order your corsage.”
Jill stared at him, open-mouthed, and Todd burst out laughing.
“Oh, holy shit, you should see your face. That’s great.”
Jill glared. “Ha, ha, funny. You better be joking.”
“I don’t know, I guess you’ll just have to wait and see.”
Jill glared at him for another second, then looked down at the new hand she’d just been dealt.
“Hey, guys, I think we’re gonna take off,” Landon said. “Hilton has to be home by one.”
Jill looked up. Landon and Hilton’s game had just ended, and they were standing up and heading over to their coats. They’d been playing against Doug from Jill and Hilton’s SRT last year, and his date for the dance, Rachel Winebrenner, another freshman cheerleader from BJ who was good friends with Kelsey. Kelsey and Rachel had been the Freshman Princesses on Homecoming Court tonight. Jill didn’t ever see Doug this year and hadn’t talked to him at all, but she knew he and Rachel had been going out for a few weeks now. She wondered if that was how Bennett had gotten hooked up with Kelsey for the dance.
“Yeah, I actually have to play in the morning,” Bennett said, glancing at the clock. “I should probably be getting to bed.” He yawned.
“Are you ready, Jill?” Hilton asked. Jill was spending the night at her house so they could go to the JV game together in the morning, since they had to cheer. Then they were going to Jill’s house to get ready for the dance, and Lorylyn and Hillary were coming over too.
“Do you wanna finish this game real quick, dude?” Todd asked Bennett. He and Bennett were playing against Jill and Kelsey. “I can take Jill home,” he said to Hilton. “If you guys wanna leave now.”
“Sure, we can finish,” Bennett said. “That’s cool.”
“I’m going to Hilton’s,” Jill said. “And she has to be home by one ‘cause of the game.”
“We’ll make it,” Todd said. “That’s twenty minutes. Is that cool, Hilton?”
“Sure,” Hilton said with a shrug, raising her eyebrows at Jill and giving her a small smile.
Jill turned so Todd couldn’t see her and stuck her tongue out at Hilton.
Hilton giggled and put her hand on Landon’s back as he walked out in front of her. “See you soon, Jill. Thanks, Bennett. See you tomorrow.”
“Yep, see ya,” Bennett called with a wave, looking at the cards in his hand. “Did everybody pass? Spades.” He laid down the jack.
Jill groaned. “Damn it!” She glanced at the scorecards. She and Kelsey were down nine to eight. If Bennett and Todd won this hand, they’d win the game. And she didn’t even have any trump.
Bennett played the ace of hearts next. Jill and Todd followed suit, and Jill prayed Kelsey didn’t have any hearts. She didn’t, and she took the trick with the left bower, the jack of clubs.
Damn! Jill thought. That probably meant Kelsey was all out of trump now too. They were screwed.
After hesitating a moment, as if trying to decide what card to play next, Kelsey broke into a grin and laid down the ace and king of spades. “Set! We win!” she yelled, lifting both hands to Jill for a h
igh five.
Jill’s mouth dropped open, and she smacked Kelsey’s hands. “Holy shit! Nice job, Kels! What’d you have?” she asked Bennett, who had thrown his cards as far as he could.
“The fuckin’ right, queen, and two outside aces,” he said. “We only needed one fucking point to win. What are the fuckin’ chances?” He grabbed Kelsey in a headlock and rubbed his knuckles across the top of her head.
She giggled hysterically. “Let me go!” she squealed.
Jill turned to Todd with a triumphant smile.
He shook his head at her as he stood up to grab his coat. He took hers too and dumped it over the top of her head.
Jill laughed as she stood up and slid her arms into the coat. “Oh, Todd, it’s okay, it’s just a game.” She grinned and stepped aside as he lunged at her playfully.
“Kels, do you need a ride?” Jill asked.
“Um, no...my mom’s coming to get me and Rachel.”
“Okay, cool. Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then!” Jill smiled happily at Kelsey, still reveling in their victory, then followed Todd upstairs and out to the driveway.
“So I’m excited for tomorrow,” she said as Todd backed out of Bennett’s driveway and put his truck into drive. This was the first time Jill had ridden with him, and she felt like they were on a date or something; it felt exciting and private and romantic. She couldn’t wait till the dance tomorrow, and afterwards, at Landon’s...
“Yeah, it’ll be fun,” Todd said. “So five, right? And Landon and Brady are driving?”
“Yeah. We should ride with Hilton and Landon. It’ll be like Cedar Point,” Jill said, smiling to herself in the dark.
“That’s cool with me. Whatever. So we’re like taking pictures at your house or something, then going to Logan?”
“Yeah, our reservations are at six, at Margherita’s.” Margherita’s was a local Italian restaurant, one of Jill’s favorite places. It was sort of upscale and fancy. “We talked about all this at lunch yesterday, Todd.”
“I know. Just double-checking. It sounds good to me. I’ll try to make it to your house on time,” Todd said, then gave her a sideways grin.
“You better,” Jill said, pretending to be mad. “And you better have a corsage that matches my dress.”
“Well, yes, ma’am,” Todd replied, matching Jill’s tone. He pulled into Hilton’s driveway. “See ya tomorrow then. Six, you said?”
Jill gave him a look, then climbed out of his truck. “See ya.” She could tell Todd was laughing as she slammed the door, and she smiled to herself. She’d kind of been hoping for something to happen between them on the way to Hilton’s, but it didn’t really matter that it hadn’t...because she’d have all night tomorrow with him too.
***
“Oh my gosh, I’m so nervous,” Jill said to Hilton the next afternoon as she did a last-minute check of her makeup in her bathroom mirror. Hillary and Lorylyn were already downstairs greeting the boys, who had just arrived.
Hilton smiled into the mirror, then grabbed her mascara out of her makeup bag and added another layer. “Don’t be. It’s gonna be amazing.”
“I know, it’s just like, if this doesn’t happen tonight...I don’t have endless time with him, like you do with Landon, ‘cause he’s not my boyfriend, or it’s not like tonight is just one of many dates. Like if tonight sucked for you and Landon, he’d still ask you out again next weekend. But it’s like for me, it all depends on tonight. It all has to come together.” She looked at Hilton anxiously.
Hilton put her arm around Jill’s shoulders and squeezed, tilting her head so it was right next to Jill’s. “It’s gonna be the best time of our lives. Look how hot we are.” She giggled, and Jill smiled back. “Okay, let’s go!” Hilton said.
Jill glanced in the mirror one last time, then hurried out of the bathroom after Hilton. As they walked down the stairs to the foyer where everyone else was gathered, Jill held her dress up so she wouldn’t step on it, and she felt like a princess in the long silky fabric. It was a fun feeling. She smiled at her parents, Winnie, and Hillary’s parents, making sure not to look for Todd right away. When she finally did meet his eyes, he took her breath away. He was even more dressed up than he’d been at Aunt Marcy’s viewing and funeral, and he looked gorgeous. She loved how his surfer haircut contrasted with his formal outfit.
“Hey, Todd.” She went over and gave him a brief hug.
“Hey, Jilly.” Todd held out a box.
Jill opened it and smiled, immediately looking up at Todd and sticking her tongue out at him. “You thought my dress was purple, huh?”
Todd laughed. “I can’t believe you believed that. I’m not completely worthless. I can get a...flower thing that matches. What’s it called? I knew yesterday.”
“It’s called a corsage. And I didn’t believe it.”
“You did too.”
Jill just laughed and shook her head, then lifted the corsage out of the box. It was perfect...white flowers with silver trim and baby’s breath.
“Hey, my mom wanted to know if your parents could take some pictures for her. She took some of me at my house, but she wants ones of us together. She wanted to come here, but I told her not to.”
“Oh, you should’ve let her come! But I’ll tell my parents to get doubles.”
“Here’s your boutonniere, Jill,” Mrs. Sherer said, holding it out.
“Um, can you put it on him? I don’t know how,” Jill said, giggling.
Her mom laughed and pinned it on Todd’s suit jacket. “I’m getting déjà vu from last year,” she joked. She’d had to pin Bennett’s on last year too.
“All right, let’s get some pictures!” Jill’s dad called, holding up his camera.
They spent several minutes taking pictures of each couple, all the girls together, all the boys together, the whole group, and then one of Jill with each girl.
“Okay, we’ve gotta go,” Jill said finally. “Or we’ll be late for our reservation.”
“Bye, have fun!” Mrs. Sherer called as they all headed out the door and down the driveway to Landon’s and Brady’s cars. “Be careful!”
Jill was excited when Hilton climbed into the passenger seat of Landon’s Jeep, because that meant she’d get to sit with Todd in the back. It was a pretty tight fit too, with all the random crap Landon had lying around, and she was thrilled that her knee was hitting up against Todd’s.
Landon started the Jeep and the music blared, shocking Jill’s ears. “Let’s get this show on the road!” Landon said as he backed out of the driveway and started down the road. When he reached the corner, out of sight of Jill’s house, he sped up and took it sharply, causing Jill and Hilton to laugh giddily.
Landon’s driving and the loud music and the shared laughter with Hilton made Jill feel young and free and impulsively reckless, and she had the sudden urge to do something crazy tonight. Before, she’d always wanted something to happen with Todd, but she had never really even imagined it going beyond kissing. But tonight she wanted to stop being so innocent and do something that would really draw her closer to Todd, something she’d always remember. She wanted to look back on this night when she was older and think of it as a time when she’d been young and wild and fun-loving, and not afraid of anything.
Buoyed even higher by her newfound goal, she smiled happily as Landon rolled the windows down, enjoying the breeze on her face.
“We should take the doors off on the way back from dinner,” Landon shouted over the music.
“Yeah!” Jill and Hilton yelled. Hilton turned and they grinned at each other. Jill could already tell this was going to be one of those nights where she wished every moment could be frozen in time. Hilton was right. She was already having the best time of her life.
***
When they arrived at the dance at 8:20, Jill was glad they were a little late so everyone could see her walk in with Todd. After dinner Landon had taken some back roads on the way back from Logan, and they’d done a little joyriding w
ith the doors off the Jeep. Now Hilton and Jill walked through the parking lot between Landon and Todd, laughing hysterically every time they looked at each other.
“Where were you guys?!” Lorylyn asked when Jill, Hilton, Todd, and Landon arrived at their table.
“Yeah, we’ve been here like twenty minutes,” Hillary said, looking at them questioningly.
“Oh, we just had a little fun on the way back,” Hilton said, then looked at Jill. They both started giggling again.
“Come on, let’s go get our pictures taken!” Hilton said once she managed to stop laughing. “So we can dance!”
As they walked out to the commons where the photographers were set up, Jill scanned the crowd for other people she knew. She saw Kelsey and Bennett sitting at a table with Doug and Rachel and a couple of Kelsey and Rachel’s other friends. She caught Bennett’s eye and waved. Then they passed Brooke and Lindy’s table, and Jill noticed Brooke gazing at Brady over her cup of punch.
As Brady and Lorylyn passed, Brooke saw Jill watching her and quickly flashed a devilish smile, lifting her knuckle to wipe under her nose.
Caught off guard, Jill laughed. That was something Brooke hadn’t done since last year. At Landon’s Halloween party almost a year ago, Jill and Hilton and Brooke had drunk beer through their noses and then told Landon when he walked in on them that they’d been snorting crack. It was one of Jill’s best memories from Landon’s parties.
She grinned over her shoulder at Brooke as she continued walking and imitated Brooke’s gesture. Brooke smiled back secretively, and Jill felt a sudden liking for her. She was in such a good mood, it was easy to like anyone right now.
***
Todd wasn’t much of one for dancing on the fast songs, which Jill realized she probably should have guessed, since he never came to dances. It bummed her out a little, because Landon and Brady and Dirk all danced a little on the fast songs, and Todd would just go over to Bennett’s table and talk to him and Doug. But it wasn’t a big deal. Jill was having a great time dancing with her girlfriends and Kelsey and Rachel and a few of their friends, one of whom was Detter’s date, Arden.
“I love your dress,” Jill said to Arden when they were dancing next to each other. She wasn’t being fake; it was one of the best dresses she’d seen tonight – long and white and slinky. Arden had dark hair and a great tan, and she looked fabulous. Jill didn’t even feel an ounce of jealousy – even though she did think Detter looked really hot tonight – because in her opinion, Todd was the best possible date here, and he was hers.