Todd did find Jill on all the slow songs. Since he never came to regular dances, tonight was the first time she’d ever danced with him, and she loved it. It made her skin tingle just to be pressed against him, and she loved that he was quite a bit taller than her, even in her three-inch heels. It just felt so right to be in his arms; it was the perfect fit. A couple times he took big steps from side to side so that they moved in a goofy, playful circle, and then he would grip Jill’s waist tighter and pull her back to him. When his hands slid a little lower on the back of her silky dress, she practically shivered. She wondered if he even realized how close his hands were to her butt. Probably not. He probably didn’t think about her like that at all.
“Hey, Blake, watch those hands!” Landon called to Todd, and Todd slid them a little lower before raising them innocently and shaking them in the air. Jill looked up to see him grinning over her head at Landon, and she laughed and looked over her shoulder in Landon’s direction.
Hilton raised her eyebrows sassily at Jill and lightly tapped Jill’s arm with the back of her hand. They laughed, then Jill turned back to Todd.
“Jeez, Todd, I can’t believe you’re trying to touch my ass.”
“Oh, whatever, you know you love it.”
***
When the last dance came, Jill was bummed it was over, but also excited to get to Landon’s. Who knew what could happen there…
As she and Todd swayed slowly to the music, Jill concentrated only on him and what it felt like to be in his arms, hoping she’d remember this exact feeling forever.
“Hey, thanks for coming with me,” Todd said. “I’ve had a lot of fun.” He smiled down at her.
“I have too. It’s been awesome.” Jill tightened her arms a little around his neck and was pleased when he responded by drawing her closer.
“I can’t really imagine if I would’ve come with anyone else. I mean, you’re definitely my bestest girl friend, Jilly.”
“I know. You’re my bestest boy friend.”
“I better be. You better never ditch me for some other guy.”
“Of course I won’t, Todd. You’ll always be the bestest to me.”
“Good. You’ll always be the bestest to me too. I love you, Jilly.” He wrapped his arms around her waist as tightly as he could and kissed the top of her head.
Jill smiled into his shoulder, then looked up at him. “I love you too,” she said sweetly, then stood on her toes to kiss his cheek.
Then Todd dipped her, catching her off balance, and she stumbled and almost fell, but Todd kept a hold of her and drew her back up. He was laughing, and Jill shook her head at him, laughing with him. Then he took her hand and lifted it so she would spin around in a circle.
“You’re such a dork,” Jill said as she put her arms back around his neck.
“I know, but that’s why you love me.”
“It is,” Jill said, shrugging helplessly.
Todd laughed and moved his hands from her lower back, engulfing her in a bear hug and resting his chin on top of her head. Jill slid her arms around his waist as they stepped from side to side in time with the music. Because of the way he was hugging her, she couldn’t even see; her face was smashed into his shirt. She closed her eyes and sighed contentedly, losing herself completely in his long arms and husky smell and the feel of his body.
***
“Jill!” Hilton whispered excitedly as they left the school, purposely falling a little behind the rest of the group. “Landon asked me to be his girlfriend! During the last dance!” She giggled. “I’m so excited!”
“Yay! That’s awesome!” Jill cried, giving Hilton a quick hug.
“So how are things going with Todd?”
“Soooo good,” Jill moaned, slumping over onto Hilton and rolling her eyes. “I want him so bad, Hilton!”
“You should try to make something happen tonight!”
“I don’t know...I’m too shy.”
“Oh, come on, Jill...what better chance are you gonna have than tonight?”
***
“Hey, dude,” Landon said to Todd later as Todd stepped out of Landon’s bathroom. Landon was waiting to go in. “Are you finally gonna make it happen tonight?” Landon grinned as he stepped into the bathroom and started to close the door.
“Make what happen?” Todd asked, confused.
Landon stared at him. “Um...something with Jill, man. Anything, really. Don’t you think it’s about time?”
“What? No, it’s not like that, dude. We’re just friends.”
“Well, that’s a fuckin’ mistake if you ask me.” Landon raised his eyebrows. “She’s hot, man. Are you seriously telling me you don’t like her? What the fuck have you been doing all this time then?”
“Um, I like her, but not like that.” Todd was starting to get defensive.
“You’re actually serious?”
“Yeah. What, does everybody think I like her?”
“Um...yeah, dude.”
Todd was taken aback. He hadn’t realized anyone thought that. Everyone thought they were just really good friends, as far as he knew.
“Well, if you don’t like her,” Landon said, “you need to quit leading her on, man.”
“I’m not leading her on. She feels the same way about it as me. She just wants to be friends.”
Landon raised his eyebrows even higher, so that they were beneath his hair. “Dude, I don’t think so.” Then he shut the bathroom door.
Todd stood in the hallway for a moment, not ready to rejoin the others. Did people really think he liked Jill? It’d been one thing in California for people they didn’t even know to think they were dating, but for all his friends and maybe her friends too and everyone else at school to think he liked her? Did Jill really think that too? He didn’t think so...she hadn’t done anything to imply that. They’d just gone to the dance together because neither of them was dating anybody else, and all their friends were dating each other, so it just seemed like they might as well go together....He wondered if he should ask Jill about it. That was the last thing he wanted to do. No, I don’t need to do that, he decided. Landon’s probably just wrong. If everybody thought I liked her, somebody would’ve said something before tonight. He shrugged it off and headed back to the living room, where everyone was watching a movie.
As he sat down on the floor, he noticed everyone else was cuddling. Lorylyn and Brady were in a recliner together, Hillary and Dirk were lying on the couch, and Hilton was sitting in an overstuffed chair with a footstool, which Landon had also been in before he went to the bathroom. Jill was in the other recliner by herself, stretched out with a blanket. Todd suddenly felt like he was missing out on something.
Before he could think too much and change his mind, he stood up and walked over to Jill’s recliner. “Scoot over, Jilly,” he said, squeezing himself into the chair next to her. Jill looked over in surprise, but she didn’t say anything. She moved over to make room for him and gave him part of her blanket.
Todd sat there silently with his hands in his lap, completely uncomfortable but unsure of what to do. Why was he suddenly nervous? Normally he was totally confident around Jill. He’d never thought twice about doing something like putting his arm around her. Just do it, dude, he told himself. She doesn’t think you like her. How many other times have you sat there with your arm around her? She’ll think this is just like all those times.
He leaned away from her to lift his arm, then slid it around her shoulders, playfully pulling her head down. She giggled and swatted at him, then laid her head on his chest and continued looking at the TV.
See, he told himself, just like normal. But his heart was beating about a hundred miles an hour, and he was sure she could feel it through his lightweight T-shirt.
Landon came back from the bathroom just then, and Todd didn’t miss the small twitch of his lips as he glanced in Todd’s direction before rejoining Hilton.
Well, Todd told himself, at least you don’t have to worry about
kissing her, since all these people are out here. Just calm down, this is fine. Jill didn’t seem to think anything out of the ordinary was going on; she looked totally comfortable and relaxed.
For the rest of the movie though, Todd couldn’t concentrate at all. He just wanted it to be over, but he had no idea what was going to happen when it was.
When it finally ended, Landon stood up and stretched. “Well, you guys are welcome to stay up and do whatever, but I’m goin’ to bed. There’s two other bedrooms you can use besides mine, and then there’s the couch out here, and the recliners. So make yourselves at home.” He leaned down to Hilton and pulled her up, hugging her tightly and giving her a lingering kiss. “Do you want my bed, hon? I’ll sleep on the floor.”
“Hell yeah, I want your bed,” Hilton said. “But you better not be fucking sleeping on the floor.” She grinned at him, and Landon grinned back, giving everyone else a playful thumbs-up as he ran into the bedroom after Hilton.
Jill giggled, and her whole upper body moved against Todd’s. He looked down at her, but she was looking at the hall where Hilton and Landon had disappeared.
“Well, we’ll take one of the bedrooms,” Brady said, standing up and reaching for Lorylyn’s hand.
“Thank you, baby,” she said with a giggle, taking it and stepping daintily to her feet. She let Brady lead her out of the room, their hands casually joined.
“We’ll take the other one!” Hillary said quickly, jumping up and pulling Dirk with her.
“I guess we’re taking the other one,” Dirk said with a grin. “Night, kids.”
“Night, man,” Todd said.
“Night!” Jill called, then yawned, covering her mouth with her hand.
It was silent for a minute. Finally Todd said, “You can sleep on the couch if you want.” He wasn’t sure what else to do.
Jill yawned again and stretched a little. “I’m so comfortable. I don’t know if I can get up. Can I just sleep here?” She turned her face into his shirt and pretended to be asleep. Then she giggled and climbed out of the chair. “Just kidding, sorry.”
“Hey, I love having you on top of me,” Todd said, but he felt awkward, and he was afraid she could tell his tone was different from what it would normally be.
She didn’t seem to notice. “I know you do. Who wouldn’t?” She grinned at him. “Hey, let’s see if the couch folds out. I feel bad if you have to sleep in a chair.” She examined the couch. “I don’t think it does. Well, you can have it if you want. I don’t want you to have no place to sleep.”
“No, Jill, seriously, it’s fine. I’m not gonna make you sleep on the floor or in a chair. Take the couch.”
“Well, we can both sleep on it. Seriously.” She looked at him. “That’d probably be more comfortable than the floor. There’s only that one little blanket. And I slept in a recliner once, and it killed my neck and back.”
Todd shrugged. “Okay, I guess.”
“Okay.” Jill lay down on the couch with her back to the wall and patted the empty space beside her. It actually did look like there’d be plenty of room for him; Jill was so small.
Todd joined her, lying with his back to her stomach. Suddenly Jill pushed down on his side and stood up, then jumped over him. “Hold on, we need the blanket!”
When she came back she lay in front of him, so that her back was to his stomach now.
“Your hair’s all in my face now,” Todd said.
“Oh, sorry.” Jill reached her hand back and tried to brush it out of the way. She’d taken down the curly ponytail she’d had in at the dance, but the curls were still there, and her brush-away motion didn’t help.
“It’s okay,” he said. It smelled good. He lifted his hand to move a big piece that was tickling his mouth. Then, not knowing what to do with his arm, he started to put it around her waist.
“Hold on,” Jill said, sitting up suddenly. “I have a scrunchie.” She pulled one of those girly hair things off her wrist and wrapped it quickly around her hair. “Okay.” She lay back down.
Todd’s arm was still hovering, and he dropped it around her waist. “Ooohhh, Jill,” he moaned, pulling her closer. He felt the need to make a joke out of it, because otherwise he was going to get freaked out. Damn Landon! Why did he have to say that shit and fuck everything up?
Jill giggled, kicking at his legs. “I’m not comfortable,” she said suddenly, flipping onto her back.
Dude, what the hell?! Todd thought. Now what am I supposed to do?! Her face was right there, and he was practically kissing her on the cheek because they were lying so close together. His heart was racing again. Her eyes were closed, but he was more conscious than ever of his arm around her stomach and her body right up against his. He had both legs as far against the back of the couch as he could get them, and it was getting uncomfortable as hell. Finally he had to relax them a little, and when he did, one knee fell naturally over Jill’s leg. She didn’t open her eyes, but Todd saw her move a little and knew she’d noticed.
Does she think I’m trying to hook up with her? He was panicking. He didn’t even know what he wanted anymore. Maybe he should just kiss her. But then what if she was completely turned off or freaked out? Then everything would be weird between them.
Jill breathed deeply, and Todd’s eyes flickered to her tight T-shirt. Damn, she did have a nice body. Okay, he was just going to do it. He raised his head a little so he could lean over and kiss her. She moved a little bit again, and he froze, staring at her closed eyes. He stayed that way for a moment, poised above her, then suddenly he dropped his head back beside hers. Fuck it! he thought. I can’t do it. It’s too weird!
***
At Lindy’s, everyone was out by the pond for the second night in a row, but tonight they were playing drinking games. Brooke couldn’t concentrate; she just wanted to do it with Matt and get it over with.
After playing games for about an hour, she stood up and yawned. “I’m going to bed. Matt, wanna come with me?”
Everyone whistled and cheered, and Brooke raised her eyebrows and grinned, not feeling it at all. “Come on, Matt,” she said sweetly, reaching for his hand.
They walked inside holding hands, and Brooke led Matt to the guest bedroom. “Lindy said we can sleep in here.”
She’d told Lindy she planned on having sex with Matt tonight, and Lindy had hugged her excitedly. Brooke knew Lindy was thinking she must really be over Brady now and that it’d be good for her to do this and move on completely.
As soon as Matt shut the door behind them, Brooke turned and kissed him with what she hoped he thought was hunger or passion. She ran her hands up and down his back, stepping backward toward the bed as they kissed. When they toppled onto the bed, Brooke rolled over and straddled Matt, peeling his shirt off as she kissed him some more.
“So are we really gonna do this?” Matt asked, surprised.
“Yep!” Brooke smiled and tried to make her tone sound upbeat.
“Oh, yes,” he said with a grin, and then he pulled her face back down to his.
A few minutes later, Matt hovered over her, naked. “Are you sure you want to?” he asked.
“Of course I’m sure,” Brooke responded, stroking his sweaty hair back from his face.
“I love you, Brooke. I really do.” Then he looked down at her chest as he shoved inside her.
Brooke turned her head and rolled her eyes, holding onto his shoulder and making a half-ass attempt to move her body to match his short jerky thrusts. Holy shit, he’s a virgin, she thought. Or else really fucking bad. This was just great.
And then it was over already. He rolled off her, breathing heavily. Brooke grabbed the comforter and got out of bed without looking at him.
“Where are you going?” Matt asked as she wrapped the comforter around herself.
“Just to the bathroom. To wash up, you know.”
“Oh. Well, that was awesome, Brooke. I’m so glad we did that.”
“Yeah, me too. I’ll be right back.”
/> She bolted down the hallway to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was a little messy, but her makeup was still intact. She smoothed her hair down angrily, not wanting it to be messed up because of Matt. Then she stared into her own sad eyes. She felt empty and dirty. That had been so meaningless, and she hated that she’d let him touch her. She didn’t want him to have that kind of privileges with her body; only Brady should get to touch her like that.
She shook her head violently to clear those thoughts. It was over with Brady for a while. She was just going to have to help Matt get better. It’d be fine, and surely he’d improve after a couple more tries. She could tell him what she liked and guide him on what to do. More foreplay might help. Or if the sex actually lasted longer than two minutes.
Brooke sighed and left the bathroom. When she got back to the bedroom, she picked her clothes up with the comforter still around her, then turned away from Matt to put them on. She could feel his eyes on her, but she never met his gaze. When she climbed back into bed he reached for her, but she shoved his arm away and lay facing away from him. “I don’t feel very good,” she said.
***
Damn it! Jill thought. What the fuck?! He’d been about to kiss her a minute ago, she was sure. And then it hadn’t happened. She squirmed against him a little, not really sure what effect she was hoping it would have. Finally, unable to take it any longer, she opened her eyes and looked at him. His eyes were closed.
She turned her eyes to the ceiling, frustrated and upset. What was she supposed to do now?! She felt her chance slipping away. They’d been so close! Desperate, she readjusted herself, hoping the movement would get him to at least open his eyes again. Nothing. She was starting to feel panicky, like she might cry. She had to make something happen! This was it! If it didn’t happen tonight, when was it ever going to happen?! She yawned loudly, then turned a little bit so she was partly facing him. Still no reaction. Should she just kiss him?
No. There was absolutely no way she was brave enough to do that. She lay there for several minutes straining her brain for any possible idea of how she could get him to make the move. He’d been about to, she knew it! Now she wished more than anything that she could go back fifteen minutes. What had she done wrong that had made him change his mind or chicken out? How could she let him know she wanted it to happen?