“Here, put it in,” Landon said, glancing back at Corey and then patting his knee.
Hilton sat on Landon’s knee and slid the CD into the player. She flashed a giddy grin over her shoulder at Jill, and Jill grinned back.
Hilton had picked Bon Jovi, and Jill grinned again as “Livin' on a Prayer” blasted into the air. Landon turned the volume up even louder and pulled Hilton back down when she started to stand up. He turned around to check Corey again, then started hitting Hilton’s leg in time with the beat and singing some of the lines into her ear loudly, still turning back every few seconds to check Corey.
Jill grinned again, happy for Hilton, and watched them wistfully, wishing more than anything that was her and Todd.
***
When they came in after two hours on the lake, Landon’s parents had hamburgers and hotdogs cooking and invited everyone to stay.
“What are you girls up to tonight?” Landon asked as he chomped down on his burger. The four of them were sitting at the picnic table in the grass, while Landon’s parents and Corey sat at the table on the patio.
“I don’t know.” Hilton looked at Jill. “You can spend the night if you want.”
“Okay!” Jill agreed.
“What are you doing?” Hilton asked the boys.
“I don’t know,” Landon said.
“I think I’m going over to Bennett’s,” Todd said.
Jill was disappointed. She’d been hoping the four of them could keep hanging out.
“I s’pose you guys could come if you want.”
Jill’s eyes met Hilton’s.
“Yeah, we’ll come,” Hilton said, and she and Jill shared a small smile.
“All right. Well, let me go change and then we can head over.” Landon stood up to throw his plate away.
“Yeah, man, I gotta stop at my house first,” Todd said.
“Okay. I’ll drive, and we can run by there.”
***
“You guys can come in if you want. It’ll only take me a minute,” Todd said when they pulled up to his house in Landon’s Jeep.
Jill was excited. She’d never been to Todd’s house, never even known where it was. It turned out to be on a quiet street in the middle of Caldwell, halfway across town from Hilton’s. Jill, having grown up in Brinkley, the larger of the two small towns feeding into Brinkley-Caldwell High School, still wasn’t that familiar with Caldwell. The only people’s houses she ever came to here were Hilton’s and Bennett’s; to get to Landon’s on Lake Caldwell, they always met at Cassidy’s in a neighborhood on the very outside of town and took the highway around town to the lake access road.
Hilton, Jill, and Landon followed Todd into his house through the front door.
“You guys can wait in there,” he said, gesturing vaguely to the room on the right. They entered a small, cozy, over-cluttered room with two mismatching couches and a large TV in one corner. It was brightly lit, and on the wall were paintings of country landscapes. The whole room was also filled with photos of Todd from preschool to the present. Some were school or sports photos framed on the walls, and others were family pictures in frames placed haphazardly around the room on an end table or the TV stand. Jill loved it. The room was just so...homey. It felt like it had seen lots of years of happiness and love.
Then she remembered with a jolt that Todd’s parents were still in marriage counseling. They’d started back in December, and she hadn’t heard him talk about it much since last winter, but she’d asked shortly before school got out, and she knew they were still going. It was weird looking at this room and imagining that the family living here wasn’t as happy as it appeared. She knew Landon and Hilton didn’t know about the counseling; Todd had told her he hadn’t mentioned it to anyone else, and she’d kept her promise not to tell anyone, with the exception of her mom.
As the three of them sat looking around the room, a woman entered. She was tall and blonde, and she smiled welcomingly. “Hi, I’m Lynn, Todd’s mom. Oh, hi, Landon.”
“Hey, Mrs. B.”
Mrs. Blake looked to Hilton and Jill and held out her hand.
Hilton shook it with a smile. “Hi, I’m Hilton.”
“I’m Jill.”
“Nice to meet you girls. I’ve seen you before; you were a cheerleader in junior high, right?” she asked Hilton. “I’ve heard about both of you; I know Todd hangs out with you. I’m glad he finally brought you by! Do you want anything to drink?”
“I’ll have a Mountain Dew,” Landon said. “If you have any.”
“Sure. Hilton? Jill?”
“Sure, a Mountain Dew would be great,” Hilton said.
“Yeah, me too,” Jill agreed. “Thanks.” She smiled. Mrs. Blake seemed so nice. Jill felt sorry that she was going through so much trouble with her marriage. She felt sorry for Todd too. He had been so emotional both times he’d talked to her at length about his parents, and Jill had an overwhelming urge to be able to hug him right now.
Just then he walked into the room. He’d changed into baggy jean shorts and a Billabong T-shirt, and he’d combed through his long hair. It was still a little wet but hung more neatly, angling across his face and past his ears. The desire to hug him grew stronger.
“Hey, I’m ready.”
“Your mom’s getting us something to drink,” Landon said.
“Oh, all right.” Todd plopped into a recliner in another corner and popped out the bottom.
“Nice pics, Todd,” Hilton said with a grin, looking around the room.
Todd grinned back. “Shut up. My mom’s crazy.”
“Aww, I think they’re so cute. Look at little Todd,” Jill teased, pointing to what must’ve been Todd’s preschool picture. He stared at the camera with a worried look in his dark brown eyes, and one small hand gripped the tiny sweater he wore. His hair was much shorter, barely coming down onto his forehead, but it was the same sandy shade Jill loved.
“Shut up,” Todd laughed again, just as his mom came back with the Mountain Dews.
“We were just admiring your handsome son,” Landon grinned, taking his and popping it open.
“Oh, yeah, Todd loves when people come over for the first time and see those. Did you see this one?” Mrs. Blake moved to the table beside Jill and picked up a frame.
Jill leaned forward eagerly. It was of Todd, probably about six years old, squatting on the very couch she was sitting on now. His fists were pressed to his cheeks in an exuberant grin, and he looked enormously pleased with himself. In front of him, perched in a row on the edge of the couch, were six Care Bears.
“That’s Todd giving his Care Bears a swimming lesson. The edge of the couch is the edge of the pool, see.”
“Aaahhhh!” Jill shrieked delightedly, covering her mouth with her hands and sinking back into the couch. She grinned wickedly at Todd.
“Mom! Stop!”
“Wow, dude, you had Care Bears? That’s manly,” Landon joked.
“All right, thanks, Mom...this has been great, but I think it’s time to go.” Todd rolled out of the chair with an embarrassed smile and started out of the room.
“See ya, Mrs. B,” Landon called as he followed Todd.
“Bye, Mrs. Blake. Thanks for the Mountain Dew,” Hilton said with a friendly smile.
“Yeah, it was nice to meet you,” Jill said, flashing a warm smile as well. She really wanted Todd’s mom to like her.
“Nice to meet you girls too. Come back soon!”
“We will!” Hilton and Jill waved as they followed Todd and Landon out the front door.
“Aww, your mom’s so nice,” Jill said as they walked down the driveway.
“Yeah, those pictures were freakin’ hilarious,” Hilton added. She laughed, and Jill joined in. They looked at each other and lost it completely.
“Yeah, great, laugh it up. That’s just fine. Thanks, Jilly. Thanks, Hilton. I see how it is.” Todd hoisted himself into the passenger seat.
“Oh, whatever, Todd, you know we’re just teasing,” Jill said through her la
ughter.
“Yeah, whatever. I’m so feelin’ the love.”
“Hey, Hillary might be feelin’ the love right about now!” Hilton whispered to Jill between gasps of laughter.
Jill’s eyes widened and she laughed even harder, wiping at her eyes as she climbed into the Jeep behind Hilton. She hadn’t even thought about Hillary all day...she’d been so caught up in her own adventure. She wondered if it had happened yet. Probably not...it was only 8:00. She wondered what Dirk had worked out for the two of them.
“Hey, thanks for giving us a chance to get in,” Hilton said to Todd. “We both had to get in Landon’s side!”
“Yeah, that’s what you get for makin’ fun of my sexy pictures.”
“Sexy?!” Jill sputtered. “Yeah, you playing with Care Bears, that’s my idea of sexy!”
“It should be. I bet you’ve never seen a sexier guy than me, have you, Jilly?”
“Nope, never,” Jill said, still wiping at her eyes. “I want you so bad.”
***
At Bennett’s they made a campfire and cooked s’mores. Jill didn’t mind being around Bennett at all anymore; she didn’t even feel like they’d ever gone out. Not like they’d had a real relationship anyway, but it was good to feel for the first time like she could act natural around him and make jokes with him like they were old friends. She wasn’t sure what had brought about the change; in the six months since they’d broken up, she’d always felt kind of awkward around him and tried to avoid him. She decided it must just be the mood of the last few days...this relaxed, happy, carefree mood of romance and flirting, of the Todd high
she was still buzzing on, and of summer. It seemed nothing could be bad enough to shake that mood.
chapter 4) the first piece is always the hardest
“Well?” Lorylyn asked eagerly.
It was Sunday afternoon, and Jill, Hilton, and Lorylyn were gathered in the shallow end of Jill’s pool, ready to hear Hillary’s story.
Hillary was all smiles. “We did it!”
“Aaahhh!” the other three girls screamed.
“Yeah, and oh my gosh, it was soooo romantic.” Hillary placed her hand over her heart.
“So what’d he do? How’d he work it out for the two of you to be alone?” Jill prodded.
“Well, he came over to my house last night and said he wanted to have a picnic. So we walked to DBU and had a picnic on campus, like right by the bell tower on that path through the trees, you know?”
Dale Brinkley University was a small branch of Dale University, the largest university in the state. There were eight other campuses besides the main one, which was two hours away and enrolled 50,000 undergrads. DBU only had about 6000 students. Lots of BCHS kids ended up going there, as well as kids from surrounding towns. The campus was located adjacent to Brinkley’s park and about two blocks from Hillary’s house. When Jill and Hillary were younger, they used to love going there in the summer and playing in the fountain and watching the college kids, even though campus was pretty dead at that time of year.
“So anyway,” Hillary continued, “we had the picnic at like eight, and the blanket was spread out right under a tree. And so then when it got dark...you know.” She grinned. “It was so awesome, you guys.”
“That sounds romantic,” Hilton said, but Jill thought her tone said otherwise.
“So, how was it?!” Lorylyn asked. “Did it hurt?”
Hillary shrugged. “Yeah, kind of. But, I mean, we’d kinda started to do it before. But yeah, it still hurt some. But it was okay. It wasn’t as bad as what you think it’s gonna be. Like, it seemed like it had just started, and then it was over already.”
Lorylyn looked confused. “Really? How come?”
Jill had been wondering the same thing but hadn’t wanted to ask.
“Well, you know, it’s not that easy for a guy to make it last a long time. Especially since it was his first time too. But it’s okay, I didn’t care. I’m actually kinda glad it wasn’t that long, ‘cause now I got that part over with, you know? So I’m sure the next time will be better.”
Jill, still confused, looked from Lorylyn to Hilton. Lorylyn still seemed unsure too, but Hilton nodded at Hillary.
“Yeah, I’m sure it will,” she said. She sounded like she knew exactly what she was talking about. She and Hillary must know a lot because they had done a lot more with guys. It was like some kind of insider secret. Jill wondered when she would know. She had hoped talking to Hillary would help fill in a piece of the puzzle, but it had really just made her more confused than ever. I guess the first piece is always the hardest to find a place for, she thought. Once you get a couple in place, the others are easier.
“So are you glad you did it?” Hilton asked.
Hillary grinned again. “Oh, yeah.”
***
“They freakin’ did it in the woods?” Hilton said to Jill later, sticking her tongue out in disgust. “That’s so not romantic. Do you know how many mosquitoes are in those woods? And they could’ve picked a more private place! I definitely do not want my first time to be somewhere where people might walk by. Yuck! That would so ruin the moment.” She shuddered. “I mean, it’d be kinda exciting to fool around in a public place, you know, and have the possibility of being caught? But your first time having sex, ever? No thanks!”
Jill giggled. “Yeah, that’s kinda weird. I can’t believe Hill’s not a virgin anymore though. I can’t believe she’s the first of all of us. I never thought she would be.”
“Who did you think it would be?”
Jill pondered the question for a moment. “I don’t know, I guess. I hadn’t actually thought about it, ‘cause I didn’t think it was so close in the near future. I mean, a year ago, I would’ve said that none of us – me, Hill, Sam, or Lorylyn – would have sex in high school at all. I’ve never planned on having sex till I was married. And after a couple months of school, I would’ve said Sam, I guess. Just ‘cause she made out with Mike at one of Landon’s first parties we went to, you know, and she sorta ditched the rest of us and, like, tried to move ahead. So I guess I would’ve picked her. I guess it could’ve actually been her, for all I know.”
“Yeah, I just hope Hillary doesn’t regret it later. We’re still so young...I mean, I knew I wasn’t ready with Reed. But I guess that’s partly ‘cause I wasn’t attracted to him anymore.”
Hilton and Jill both giggled.
“Yeah,” Jill said. “Before Cedar Point when we asked her if she was gonna sleep with him, she was all like, ‘I am gonna be fifteen,’ and I was like, Are you freaking kidding me?! I can’t even imagine having sex this year.”
“Yeah...and I know that’s screwed up some people’s relationships too, like Brooke and Brady. I mean, I know they weren’t dating, but he got what he wanted and moved on. In a way I feel a little sorry for Brooke. I mean, she was definitely a complete bitch to Lorylyn, but she did get played. If I was her I would’ve been pissed at Brady too. She’s just stupid to still want him after that. I just hope Dirk didn’t just use Hillary to get the first time over with and now, like, move on to somebody else.”
Jill frowned. “I guess that’s true, about Brooke. I never thought of it that way. But yeah, ‘cause weren’t her and Brady like, pretty good friends before they had sex? And that totally ruined it...they don’t really even talk anymore.” Jill felt a sudden shudder. What if that had been her and Todd? “You’re right, I’d be pissed if I was her too.” For the first time, Jill could truly understand a little bit of what Brooke must have been feeling when Brady asked Lorylyn to the Homecoming dance and then started dating her. It still didn’t excuse what Brooke had done to Lorylyn at Landon’s New Year’s party, when she announced in front of all the girls there that she’d had sex with Brady, but Jill couldn’t say for sure that she herself wouldn’t have been desperate enough to do the same thing if it had been her and Todd in Brooke’s and Brady’s places. “But you don’t really think Dirk was just using Hill, do you?”
“No, I don’t think that was what he meant to do. But waiting for sex was a reason to stay with her, and now that he’s gotten that, if he meets someone else I wouldn’t be that surprised if he dumped her. I’m not saying he doesn’t like her a lot right now, ‘cause I think he does. Or at least he thinks he does. But I don’t know, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. I could be totally wrong. I hope I am.”
“I hope so too. Hill would be so upset. But you could be right. It’s just all so confusing! I don’t think I ever want another boyfriend!”
“Oh, whatever!” Hilton laughed. “I know one boy you’d go out with in a second if he asked you. Don’t even try to tell me you wouldn’t!” She gave Jill a playful glare, and they both giggled again.
chapter 5) california
“Mom, what am I gonna do for the next two weeks?” Jill moaned a week later. “It’s gonna suck so bad without Hilton here! ‘Cause I probably won’t see Landon, and so then I won’t see Todd! ‘Cause Landon won’t call just me when Hilton’s not here.” Hilton’s family had just left for their annual summer vacation; this year they were going to the Bahamas.
“You still have Hillary and Lorylyn. And you have gymnastics lessons at Twisters.” Twisters was a gym in Logan, a larger city about forty-five minutes away from Brinkley, and Jill had competed on a club team there all throughout junior high. Now that her first high school season was over, she’d decided to start taking private lessons.
“Yeah, but they both have boyfriends! And gymnastics is like, only twice a week, and I wanna be able to hang out with Todd!”
“Well, why don’t you invite him over? You call him one of your best friends, right? So you shouldn’t need Landon to orchestrate your hang-out time. Call him over to go swimming.”
“That’s true,” Jill said. She did consider Todd one of her best friends, so why was she so scared to call him? She knew exactly why though. The last time she’d called and asked him to hang out one-on-one, he’d misunderstood and thought she wanted it to be a group outing, and she’d been completely humiliated. Plus, she was always afraid if she asked him to hang out with just her, he’d get the wrong idea and think she wanted it to be a date. But inviting him over to swim wouldn’t seem like a date...and she could even mention how she was bored with Hilton gone...it was the perfect excuse.