Resources:
The World Health Organization (WHO)
CDC Zombie Preparedness
FEMA Zombie Preparedness
Pentagon Zombie Preparedness
Department of Defense Zombie Preparedness
US Navy Zombie Readiness
Zombie Research Society
Japan Zombie Preparedness
China Zombie Preparedness
Crystal Meth Zombies
Lieutenant Samuels, another short squatty, green-bean skinny, golden haired, blue-eyed, West Point graduate, an odd Officer with a double degree in Physics and Chemistry (ZORT Command seems to attract the odd ones) submitted this short write-up to the CDC after his private ZORT team (under contract with the State of Nebraska) responded to a zombie outbreak intervention. These notes have not been edited.
4/21/2001
Zombie Response Team
I get a call from a man who is the mayor of a small town near a suspected unauthorized Z-facility. He says, “I understand you are a zombie hunter.” I say, “Yes, you could say that.” The man says they have a zombie problem in their town and they are hoping I can come out and get rid of the zombies for them. I ask the man a few questions. He described the matter and it sounded like a routine minor zombie event. Because in some cases, the CDC would have to be notified. The man says he is hoping the CDC does not have to be notified. That maybe I can keep this all under the radar. He will pay double the fee if I keep this under the radar. I tell him I’ll see when I get there.
I look up the man and the town in the ZRT database and it shows clean, but in our briefings last week we added a routine check of the town and a facility that should have been processing chicken, but reportedly no trucks come and go from the facility and there are no live chickens at the facility. We try to keep track of Z-virus episodes and outbreaks and offenders.
We negotiate the price and I head out. When I get to the small town, I find that this is not a minor zombie event. There is a small horde of zombies. The man and the town’s people authorized a foreign lab in their town and the lab was working on zombies. I killed one of the zombies. I just happened to bring a detector kit with me. The new CDC kits use salivary diagnostics for virus detection with an emphasis on rapid detection of infection. In the salivary diagnostic, looking for unnatural immunodeficiency viruses, the kit showed positive for mutant strains of hepatitis C virus, human papillomavirus, and Z-virus. I noted that the final check for oral mucosal transudate contained secretory immunoglobulin (Ig) A, as well as IgM and IgG, which should have indicated nothing on an immunodiagnostic-based test, but it did.
I’m really pissed because the man lied to me. These zombies were laboratory enhanced.
They run faster and are much more aggressive and violent. Some of the zombies are carrying weapons like clubs, sticks, bats, two-by-fours, and yard equipment. These zombies try to duck and hide when you shoot at them. These are higher level 2 zombies. Mutated lab level 2 and above zombies have been known to produce hives. So that makes this is a level 4 out of 5 outbreak event. At level 4 if the outbreak event cannot be contained, then we detonate a nuclear device.
If I had known the truth, I would have brought my whole team and maybe we could have contained this, but it’s Easter weekend. I tell the people I find that we have 30 minutes to get as far away from here as possible. Those who cannot be helped are being left behind. There are some hard choices to make. But honestly I really couldn’t care less if everyone in the town died. Stopping the outbreak is the primary concern. The town is set to blow.
So I am shooting and fighting and shooting to get out of town. I make it out of town and then the town goes up behind us. But there is someone in the vehicle with us who is hiding a zombie bite. I don’t know this until we get back to a safe town. My zombie team meets me at the safe town. I am stripped and checked. Then I order everyone quarantined at gun point and to strip so we can check them out and inspect them for infection.
There is a young mother and she is breastfeeding her baby. The baby is infected and so is she. I shoot them both and then call the CDC to give my full report.
I wrote this test to give you a little taste of the looming apocalypse. I already know you suck. Now you know you suck. I already know the average US Marine fails this test. Think about it. You sucked at the written test of zombie outbreak survival. What do you think would happen in the practical application field test that ZORT members have to pass? Pass? They have to survive it. What do you think would happen in the real no shit meat grinder when the shit hits the fan? At least now you know and now you can start to do something about it because the more of you who get ready now, the easier my job will be later.
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About the Author
I'm a former Captain in the US Marines. In my 21-year military career, I developed expertise in both combat training and criminal investigations. I have served as a Senior Investigator, Legal Advisor, Recruiting Officer, Civil Rights Investigator, and Program Director. While in the Marines, I completed a bachelor's degree in Psychology from Texas A&M University. Later I completed a Masters in I/O Psychology from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. Originally from Houston, Texas and currently residing in Frisco, Texas, I fancy myself a secret physics, statistics, and data nerd. I'm also known today for being a part-time tennis strategy and coaching genius…by my kids…sometimes. If you ever want to talk about business strategies, criminal law, or zombies and conspiracy theories, drop me a line.
Thank you for reading my books. If you enjoyed this book, please leave positive reviews with your favorite eBook retailers.
~Van Allen
www.VanAllenFiction.com
[email protected] Follow on Twitter @GrProject43X
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Screaming Weasel Productions
Previously Published
Business:
Hire the Right People and Win Big
Workplace Bullying: A Growing Epidemic
Fiction:
Bear
Zombie Outbreak Survival Guide
I Tawt I Taw a Putty Tat
Memoirs:
Jasper and Van
The Old Man in the Hospital
The Secret Society of the Great Pumpkin at Texas A&M
Coming soon:
A Civil Rights Case Study – A tell-all case study from a recent investigation
Van’s First Bike – A memoir about my first bike
Zombie Outbreak Survival: Fitness Training
Clicker – Alien Invasion (full-length novel due in 2017)
Ongoing collaborations with other new writers…such as: ePublicity Writers Group, www.JacquelineJKing.com, Katherine Jackson @2b1luv1, Ashleigh J. Allen, and Marco Dovezenski @MarcoDovo.
Zombie Outbreak Survival: The Definitive Test
Van Allen
Copyright 2016 Van Allen
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