You will be a good man
Don't hide yourself in anger
God will save you!
“Me’n the Devil”
This is one of the “poems-turned songs-turned poems” mentioned in the Introduction that a buddy of mine and I put music to. It was written about the spiritual battle for my little sister’s soul, who was on drugs and alcohol, and living with an abusive man at the time. I thank God she is now a happily married, well-adjusted, chemical and alcohol-free mother and grandmother.
This very morning I was praying
Pleading for my sister’s life
Begging God to show her mercy
Save her soul before she dies
Heard a gravel voice speak low
A winter breeze crawled down my spine
Far away a grinding noise
Dark spirits were about to dine
Distant recollections haunt the easy laughter of a child
Then reality assaults where innocence is thus defiled
Spitting disillusioned bile can only make a bad day worse
Dwelling in a world of chaos breeds a vile and evil curse
But in the night it slipped right through; a demon born of pain and strife
I cried out, “IN THE NAME OF CHRIST, YOU STAY OUT OF MY FAMILY LIFE!”
Needless to say, me’n the Devil had a talk today
Those who damn their souls to dark are frenzied, searching for the light
Most who sleep in daylight tombs are truly weary of the night
But out of malice God brings life and purity of heart and mind
Our triumph in the name of Jesus Christ can never be denied!
This morning I was praying
Sorrow carved into my jagged head
Her tired face, corrupted mind
Which lies in dust with those long dead
Then I heard a gravel voice
A straining and defeated plea
A frightened demon called from Hell
“Creator God, I beg…show mercy!”
Yup, me’n the Devil had quite a talk today
"Misguided Souls"
By Trey Weddle, written at age 12
Like all poetry, this will mean something different to the author, my son, than to you, the reader. He didn’t tell me who (or what group of people) he wrote this for, and I didn’t ask.
You think you obtain glory?
You think you obtain victory?
Some call you heroes
Others call you filth
I'm one of the few who won't call you either
I pray for you
I see misguided souls but do not judge
For you may find the Lord in the end
I pray for the misguided souls
"Mock, Marvel or Move Out the Way"
Have you ever felt like your soul is
enveloped in morning rush-hour fog?
As if your spirit is hip-deep in mud, lost in some
murky, back-woods, Louisiana bog?
I'm a child of perpetual light, yet half the time
feel as if I'm swallowed up in dark
Heaven is my Florida, yet I feel a driving urge
to leave behind an earthly mark
I try to pursue holiness, yet most times
feel like the unwanted foster son
Will there be one shred of evidence hinting at
well-spent days when my time is done?
I'm told I should feel like a Prince,
royally basking in the presence of my King
So why is it some days, try as I might,
this writhing heart of mine doesn't feel a thing?
Poets cry lyrical tears, painting splashy portraits
of hope and perfection
TV preachers squeal, "Glow-ray!"
and then steal a kiss like they're up for re-election
I, on the other hand, shall not mince words
(least-ways not all of the time)
I simply tell my heart to bleed onto every page,
purging my struggles in rhyme
The Bible likens my journey to running a race,
though most days I can barely crawl
Sometimes I just bask in the Son,
making no visible forward progress at all
But I shall never stop fighting;
I shall never turn my back on my beloved Lord
You can mock, marvel or move out the way;
craft my demise or climb on board
The choice is yours
“My Daughter/My Angel”
For Jess, with a scribbling of intent to Big Josh
I don’t know what you see when you gaze into the mirror
But let me tell you what I see when I look at you:
Eyes alive…dancing, even…waiting expectantly for the next challenge
The same eyes which stared up at me as a baby, trusting completely
In my ability to love, comfort and protect you from all harm
Sparkling eyes which brought me to life at 5 a.m. every morning
Eyes which spoke (and speak) volumes
I see a spirit undaunted by the confines of normality
Hungering for more out of life than most
I see a powerful woman whose gifts are able to take her places most never could
I see a quiet, unassuming young lady who can disappear at will
Blending into her surroundings like a chameleon
I also see a glistening star whose inner-light can, in a breath, captivate the room
A charming character whose laugh could steal the sun from the sky if she wanted
Everything you are is everything I hoped you’d be and more!
As your father I regret not one ill word I spewed forth in anger to defend your honor
Now Big Josh must take the place of coming to your defense, but please understand this:
You’ll always be my special little baby-girl
We’re eternally connected by love and no one can take that away from us
You possess a corner of my heart no other can fill
When I look at you, I will always see the best parts of me
I pray your smile gleams forever, lighting up rooms wherever you go
I pray your spirit touches thousands as you have touched your family
I pray you realize the only one who can limit you is you
I pray you find the strength to make all your dreams come true
I release you from the confines of childhood
Your day has come to step into the sunlight and shine
Spread your glistening wings and soar the Heavens
For it’s time the world be introduced to the angel I’ve known you to be all along
I love you, babygirl
“My Entourage”
I wrote this poem after being hurt very deeply by a portion of my family. I won't say exactly who, or what it was about, as that might cause "issues," and all has been forgiven, even if the other party weren't aware they did anything wrong.
Life hacks deep like a machete
Cutting grave and saucy into flesh
Grating on bones; slicing hopes and dreams like codfish
Fiends will smile while they ridicule
Glaring into your world like dark spirits
Sucking the life out of life
Turning their collective back on your grandest triumph
But I choose to be happy
Despite the world
Despite the naysayers
Despite the mockers
Despite those who look on with disdain
Despite those who dub themselves “family”
Yet rip me to shreds in private
Or pay me no nevermind at all
Despite the pretense of compassion
Despite words feigning life
Yet screaming “DEATH!” behind blue and jaded eyes
Despite every last one of ‘em…
I kn
ow who loves me
And though but a handful
They are the ones in my entourage
“My Little Princess”
For Laura
Can words describe your loveliness?
Fire laced with sly finesse
Fascinating, captivating
Splendor leisurely cascading
Eyes entice and draw me in
To sensual delirium
Simple little lover’s smiles
Content ascent; delight beguiles
Through lows and stratospheric heights
We prize both fierce and gentle nights
Tears of ecstasy or pain
Days of sunshine, days of rain
From nights of merriment and joy
To tragedy meant to destroy
You’re my soul, my life, my heart
And Hell could not tear us apart
You’re the smile behind my eyes
The brilliant light that never dies
Bathed in beauty, to the excess
I love you, my little princess
“My Son”
For Trey, written in 2009
I can’t believe it’s just been 10 years
Since I first looked at you through eyes filled with tears
“This is my son!” I proudly exclaimed
And my heart filled with love as I whispered your name
So little you seemed in your blanketed nest
And I smiled as you fell right to sleep on my chest
Your tiny hands wrapped ‘round a finger or two
“He’s sleeping,” I smiled, and soon I’d be too
We taught you to walk, your mother and I
Our hearts broke a little each time that you cried
But we were determined to chase fears away
And surround you with laughter and love every day
You learned all your colors and then how to read
And never once doubted we’d meet every need
Your joy seems to burst out of every smile
And your feet seem too happy to walk every mile
You are a miracle, I pray you know
What an honor I have in watching you grow
I know I have fallen short a few times
But despite all my faults you continue to shine
To say I’m a father is my greatest joy
And I marvel at you; my namesake, my boy
You’re my gift from Heaven, of that I’ve no doubt
For you have a light which cannot be snuffed out
So as you grow taller and stronger each day
Please know I will never be too far away
I’ll be right behind you ‘till this race is won
Proudly telling the masses, “This man is my son”
“My Vow to You”
For Laura
More beauty than a sunrise
With a smile which brightens every room
A joyful soul who wars with me
To stay the wretched hand of gloom
A lady when occasion calls
Yet fearing no one in this world
A tired, splendid woman
With the spirit of a little girl
You’re my little princess
And you know I’d freely die for you
But I choose something tougher:
I will vow to always live for you
“Mystery of the Exploding-Light Goddess”
For Laura
How does one finagle a star from the atmosphere and conceal it?
Would it not rupture light from the star-bearer’s eyes?
From their laugh?
From their smile?
From every pore of their being?
Would people not be drawn to the one with celestial light
Bursting forth like a goddess?
So that’s it, then
I’ve solved the mystery
With a glowy-eyed smile you inquire,
“Which mystery would that be, my love?”
Just this:
How can people be drawn to you more than anyone I know?
More than me?
I may be the writer, yet within moments
People discover you are the earthly light keeping my darkness at bay
Though I would not have it any other way
For without you, there is no me
But the answer to said mystery;
That of your endless and inexhaustible encouragement
That of your amazing and earth-spinning grin
That of everyone around you being drawn to
The radiance which peeks out from you
Like a wool blanket striving in vain to cloak the sun
Is easy…
YOU SWALLOWED A STAR
“Needle Fascination”
Written for Jess, when she was addicted to drugs
Needle fascination
Foul hallucination
Drift awhile in stench and bile
Then wake in desperation
Tomorrow is too distant
Future nonexistent
Wanna run into the sun
But habits are persistent
I can see your splendor
Still so young and tender
But all you see’s a dull and ugly
Corpulent pretender
Lucifer’s a liar
Destined for the fire
Turn your back on nights of black
And ill-fated desires
Heaven is before you
And I can help restore you
So don’t sedate your own self-hate
‘Cuz I’ll always adore you
On terror shadows dine
‘Till hate becomes a shrine
Through self-disdain my faithfulness remains
Sweet child of mine
“Never Give Up…Never Give In”
Written for Jess, early morning, Monday, June 7, 2010; the day she left for a drug rehabilitation center in Mesa, Arizona. I woke up around 4:00 a.m. with the last stanza echoing in my head, and it persisted until I finally got up and wrote the poem.
You are most beautiful and most treasured
The finest of daughters a father could ask for
My immense love for you cannot be measured
And now it is time for you to be restored
I pray God’s peace encircle you each day
I pray His wisdom go before and behind you
I pray happiness surrounds you in every way
I pray each morning you find His mercies new
Jessy, I fight back tears as I pen these rhymes
I detest life for what it’s done to your spirit
I pray the devil burns deep in HELL for these crimes
I pray he fries, screaming loud, so I can freaking HEAR it
I stand and shout at the cold, northern wind
Screaming, “SATAN, YOU CANNOT HAVE MY BABY GIRL!
YOU LIE; SHE IS NOT A WRETCH, FOR ALL HAVE SINNED!
AND NOW IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO SLITHER BACK TO THE WORLD!
YOU ARE NO LONGER WELCOME, SPIRIT OF THE DARK!
I REBUKE YOU WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY WEARY BEING!
WITH TEARS AND SUPPLICATION, GOD LIT THIS SPARK
AND NOW, MY FAMILY AND I EXPECT TO SEE YOU FLEEING!”
You are a wonderfully strong warrior for our Lord
But for now, please trod this hard road with grace
For losing you is what I cannot afford
So take your recovery at a tranquil pace
And remember…
Never give up
Never give in
Until Christ returns
Or Death calls us to Him
Never give up
Never give in
Until He returns
Or Death calls us to Him
Never give up
Never give in
Until He returns
Or Death calls us to Him
“No Fear and No Regrets”
&nb
sp; Taken from our family motto:
“No fear of the future, no regrets of the past”
No fear of a grim tomorrow
No regrets of yesterday
Don’t look back in abject sorrow
Force yourself to shine today
Worry’s like a shadowed storm cloud
(Lies designed inside the mind)
Phantom thoughts who don a shroud
With power only you define
Remorse will execute delight
When lifeless history invades
Makes you veil the morning light
In worthless tears and darkened shades
Greet the escalating dawn
With thoughts of blind determination
Tell the world you’re no one’s pawn
Then let God birth a new creation
Fearing what is imminent
Will masquerade true cheerfulness
Optimism soon will end
When hope bows to profound distress
Massacre your guilt with laughter
‘Till it cannot breathe…deceased!
Past regrets are just cadavers
May they ever rest in peace
Eager minds will hail the Son
With aspirations well in tow
Dreams can never be undone
If you ignore the status quo
Have no fear and no regrets
Of what’s to come or what has passed
Failure is an idle threat
Go make your vision come to pass
“Notes to a Potential Prisoner – A Poem for Rhonda”
As mentioned in a previous poem, my daughter was in a drug rehab in Mesa, Arizona – a long way from our home in Springfield, Missouri – and Rhonda was her roommate. Rhonda had finally gotten her life together, after years of drug abuse, only to receive the news that the police had charged her with an old, drug-related crime. By this time she had reconnected with her children, “found God” and was sincerely trying to do right, so this came as quite a shock. It was also clear to everyone it was an attack from the enemy of her soul in an attempt to cause her to stumble. Upon hearing the news that she might have to go to prison for an offense committed in her “former life,” she sunk into a deep depression. I felt compelled to write her this poem, and my daughter told me it meant a great deal to Rhonda. I don’t even know her last name, and have no idea what ever happened to her, as my daughter left rehab and came back home to Missouri a couple of weeks later. I pray Rhonda is home with her husband and children; at peace.