Chapter 6
In the morning, when Mandy crawled out of bed, she remembered her dream and felt God had given her that dream in answer to her prayer, and she was encouraged by it. As she smelled the aroma of fresh coffee, her heart leapt when she thought about Buddy waiting downstairs. Quickly she washed her hands and face and happily dressed for another work day at the ranch. When she entered the dining room, Buddy stood up and seated her next to him. He got a cup of coffee and a steaming plate of sausage gravy and biscuits for each of them.
After chores had been discussed and plans for the day were organized, Buddy casually announced that he and Mandy were going out for dinner that night so he could show her around town. Mandy glanced at him, surprised by his matter-of-fact tone.
“That sounds like a great idea, Buddy,” Madge said. “Have a good time.”
The men left to check on the herd out on the range land. The women decided it was time to work in the garden, clean the chicken house, straighten up and clean the barn, and take care of the new calves. The women grabbed brooms, rakes, hoes, and shovels and hurried to the different areas. While working together, they laughed and talked happily.
”I’m sure glad you’re helping us,” Madge said happily. “I really don’t like tending the chickens. You seemed to enjoy the noise inside. I’d rather work in the garden than gather eggs any time.”
Mandy laughed, “Good. I used to raise chickens when I was a girl in 4-H club. I even won a couple of prizes at the county fair. I’m not much good working in the garden. My thumb is definitely not green! All I raise in a garden is a good sweat,” she laughed.
“Daddy is really right when he says many hands make the work light. This has been fun working together, and the work is nearly finished,” Melanie said. “Have you decided what to wear for your dinner date with Buddy?”
“I have no clue. This morning was the first I heard we had a date,” Mandy giggled.
Melanie looked shocked. “That crazy guy,” she said. “Did he forget to tell you about your date?”
“I guess it slipped his mind,” Mandy laughed. “”I don’t know where we’re going. Hopefully it isn’t anything fancy. I don’t have any formal clothes.”
“Don’t worry about that. Buddy isn’t the ‘formal’ type of guy. Something simple is more his style. Remember, you are in a small ranching community. Anyplace without scattered hay on the floor is about as fancy as it gets,” Melanie kidded.
“Thanks for the warning,” Mandy said. “I think I know what to wear now. Torn jeans, a flannel shirt, and work boots.”
“Maybe you should get a little more dressed up than that. How about a clean skirt and blouse,” Melanie said with a happy chuckle.
The women finished their list of chores before 3 pm and went back to their places to get cleaned up. Mandy was glad to have some extra time to freshen up. After a leisurely shower, Mandy toweled herself off and scurried into her bedroom. She looked through the clothes in her suitcase. She found a pale blue spaghetti strapped sundress near the bottom. She pulled it out, borrowed Madge’s iron and quickly pressed out the wrinkles.
Melanie came in, looked at her dress then nodded approval. She took Mandy’s brush and quickly styled her hair, pulling it up on her head with soft curls around her face. “I studied to be a cosmetologist a long time ago,” she said. “I think I still have the touch,” she laughed at Mandy’s surprised look. Adding a light touch of blush and lip gloss and she smiled, satisfied at the transformation.
“Buddy won’t be able to take his eyes off you tonight. Of course, that’s true most of the time anyway,” Melanie giggled. “You know he’s fallen head over heels in love with you. I have never seen him act this way before. You are so good for him! He’s never been much for going out on dates with girls. He’s always been too shy to talk much to them, I guess. He doesn’t seem to have any problem talking to you. You have made him so happy,” Madge added giving her a hug. She walked downstairs, then called back to Mandy, “Buddy’s ready to go when you are.”
Mandy slipped on a white sweater with delicate seed pearls around the collar before she walked downstairs. Buddy was waiting for her at the foot of the stairs. With a big smile on his face, Buddy’s eyes followed Mandy as she walked down the steps. Everyone peeked out as they walked over to get into his truck. He opened the door, helped her inside, and then slid into the seat beside her.
“I wasn’t sure where we were going. I hope this dress is all right,” she said shyly.
“You always look beautiful, but you are especially lovely tonight. Everyone will wonder what a gorgeous woman like you is doing out with a shaggy bear like me,” he said with a grin. As they drove into town, he asked, “Is there anything special you’d like to eat for dinner?”
“Nothing fancy or expensive,” she said quickly, “Any place you choose will be fine with me. I just want something light and tasty.”
“There’s a small restaurant that I heard has good food—salads, steaks, and stuff like that. It’s a little dark inside. They do have a bar area with a trio that plays country music and a small dance floor. I heard the music was pretty good, if you don’t mind sitting in the bar. I haven’t danced at all since high school, and even then I was never much for dancing, but it might be fun to dance with you. I’m not a fast dancer, but I might try a slow dance or two.”
“That sounds like a good choice for us. I don’t usually go to bars. I rarely ever drink alcoholic beverages, and I haven’t danced much since high school either. I know I told the kids it doesn’t matter what it looks like, but I feel silly hopping around like the young crowd does when they fast dance. That doesn’t even feel like dancing to me. I like being held close when I dance,” Mandy said.
“I like the thought and sound of that, too. That sounds like my kind of dancing,” Buddy agreed.
After parking his truck, Buddy led Mandy into the Branding Iron restaurant. They waited until a hostess led them to a small table near the back of the western styled dining room. The tables were made of planks of wood on which brands had been burned. Wrought iron candle holders sat on each table and iron sconces lined the dining room walls. A few paintings of western scenes hung around the room. Other than the candles, the room was dimly lit. Mandy glanced around and noticed the room was about half full. A few couples sat eating. There were a couple of men seated at a table near the back door.
The waitress handed them menus. Buddy and Mandy looked them over. When the waitress returned with their water and silverware, Mandy ordered a salad and a petite steak; Buddy ordered the same. When the drink waitress from the bar came to the table, Mandy chose a diet soda, and Buddy ordered iced tea with lemon.
“You could have ordered a beer or cocktail if you wanted one,” Mandy said.
“I know, but I don’t drink alcoholic beverages very often either. I never liked the taste of it, and I don’t enjoy being around noisy, drunk people,” he added. “That’s one reason why I don’t go out very often. Did you want a cocktail or beer, Mandy?”
“No, thank you. After seeing how it affected Jerry, I decided not to drink alcohol anymore. It changed him into a devil, and I don’t want any part of that,” she reminded Buddy.
They ate their salads and were finishing their steaks when two guys came over to their table. One was a tall blonde, dressed in a fancy red and silver western shirt. He wore tight designer jeans and sported a large gold metal belt buckle. The other guy was shorter, and he was not dressed in such flashy clothes. They stopped beside Mandy’s chair.
“Hey, Buddy,” the blonde guy drawled. “I haven’t seen much of you since high school. You still working on that run down cattle ranch with your mommy and daddy? Who’s this sweet young thing?” he asked, winking at Mandy.
Mandy noticed Buddy stiffen at his insulting tone. “It may be smaller than your folk’s ranch, but, at least, I have a steady job and am able to support myself,” he sho
t back icily. “I don’t sponge off my parents like some lazy punks do. I don’t have to go around trying to hustle someone else’s date, either. That’s why she’s here with me, not you.”
The blonde flushed and Mandy noticed him drawback, his fists twitching. He looked at Mandy and said, “Why don’t you ditch this loser and go dancing with me? I can show you a better time than him any day or any night.”
Mandy laid her hand possessively on Buddy’s arm, smiled warmly at him, then turned to the two guys standing at their table. “I’m sorry you are so hard up that you have to go around begging for a date. As you can obviously see, we are on a date. For your information, that means two people—that’s Buddy and me. We don’t want or need anyone else hanging around. I don’t know you very well, but I know Buddy is more of a man than the two of you guys put together. He could wipe the floor with you, if he wanted to, but he doesn’t need to fight to prove he’s a man. For your information, I’m a lady. I only dance with the man I came with, and I only go home with him at the end of the night. If you so desperately want female companionship, I suggest you go look on some street corner. There’s probably a hooker who might lower her standards and go out with you. I’m very proud and happy to be here with Buddy, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Have a nice night.” She turned her back on them, smiled lovingly at Buddy and totally ignored them.
The two guys stood there for a second looking stunned. They quickly turned around and hurried back to their table thoroughly angry and embarrassed by the way she had put them in their place. They glared at Buddy and her, but they didn’t come back over to bother Mandy and Buddy again..
Buddy looked at Mandy with an amused grin. “You’re really something, Mandy! That was beautiful how you told them off so sweetly, without ever raising your voice or using foul language. I can’t believe what you just said. Someday that guy will get what he deserves. I just wish I could be the one to knock that smug look off his, face!” Buddy snarled.
“Don’t wish for things like that, Buddy. Carrying hate and desire for revenge is like swallowing a bottle of arsenic and then waiting for the other guy to die! It can poison you, and the other guy doesn’t even know you are angry. That’s why I was feeling so lost and miserable when we first met. I didn’t realize what a heavy backpack of negative emotions I was lugging around. If it weren’t for you, I’d still be trapped in all that garbage,” Mandy said softly
“What do you mean, Mandy? What did I do that helped you?” Buddy asked.
“Don’t you remember what happened the day we rode to your special place, and I ended up drenching your shirt with my tears?” Mandy asked.
“Of course I remember! I had never felt so helpless before in my life! You were sobbing so hard, and I didn’t know what to say or do to help you,” Buddy remembered.
“You did exactly what I needed. You held me and allowed me to dump out all of the guilt, pain, fear, and anger out of my heart and soul. I had carried it alone for so long that I didn’t realize how heavy and destructive it had become. There was no way I could ever find peace inside as long as that junk was trapped in me. As those terrible memories and pain drained away, I realized they were why I was not finding any peace. You will never understand how much you helped me heal that day. I really think I began falling in love with you that day,” Mandy explained.
“All I did was hold you,” Buddy said.
“Buddy, you accepted me and didn’t try to fix me or tell me I shouldn’t feel that way. I felt such caring and tender compassion and safety in your arms. That was what I needed to release the painful memories.”
“I never thought about it that way,” he said. “Did you say that you started loving me that day? Does that mean there’s a chance you will love me?”
“Buddy, I know I care for you very deeply, and I feel very happy and peaceful when I am with you, but only prayer and more time will tell if it is the kind love that will last a lifetime,” Mandy said.
“I’m willing to wait and let God lead us, Mandy. Your love is worth waiting for. I’m praying that God’s plan will bring love for both of us,” Buddy whispered holding her hand in his.
Mandy sighed, “Sometimes when I feel the anger and guilt starting again, I can now stop and release it. I remember Jason, that obnoxious blonde guy who came over to our table, from when I was at Carmelita High School. He obviously didn’t recognize me, but I remember what a mean, sadistic bully he was then. Some guys like Jason don’t get better with age. When I heard him insult you and your parents, I got mad. His tone and cheap insults reminded me of the way Jerry talked to me, like he was the best person in the world, and I was trash. Putting others down was his way of building himself up” Mandy said.
“I still hope one day Jason will get what he deserves,” Buddy repeated.
“He will eventually get what’s coming to him, but we need to let God handle that. We shouldn’t hate anyone, even guys like Jason. We don’t really know what kind of life he’s had. From the outside, it looks like he’s had all the breaks. His parents had lots of money, and it is obvious they spoiled him rotten, but we don’t know what went on inside his house when no one was looking. I realized that was probably what people thought about my life with Jerry. Jenny and James, his two children, lived in torment every day of their lives, but everyone thought their life was ‘perfect.’ That’s when I understood why we shouldn’t judge others when they behave like they do. Only God know the whole truth. He knows their hearts and lives, so he should be the only one to judge others. That doesn’t mean I have to like Jason or what he does. I just want him to leave me alone.”
“That suits me fine. I’ll be happy if I never see him again,” Buddy said.
“Besides, seeing you and him side-by-side helped me realize again that he was someone I could never trust or care for. You, on the other hand, are totally real and trustworthy. You are always what you appear to be. I know that I can trust you completely with my heart, my soul, and my life,” Mandy added with a new joy in her voice.
The next time Mandy glanced around, the two men were gone. After dinner, they moved into the bar and sat at a small table next to the dance floor. “I know it’s getting late for us. Since tomorrow is another work day on the ranch. If you’re going to dance with me, this would be the time to do it,” Mandy hinted.
“I’m not really a dancer. I’m afraid I’ll step on your feet,” Buddy apologized in advance.
“Please,” she said reaching for his hand. “It isn’t really that hard. I know you can do it. I can show you a trick that works like magic. Trust me. Just one dance, and then we can leave if you want to,” she urged.
Buddy took her hand and led her onto the dance floor. He walked over to the band and said, “Can you play something slow and mellow?” He stuck a bill into their tip jar.
”We’ve got a perfect song for you two”, they said. They began playing the old country ballad “Behind Closed Doors.”
Mandy stood in front of Buddy. He hesitated, looking shy and uncomfortable. “Buddy, this is easy. I don’t bite, unless you want me to,” she kidded. “Put your arms around me and hold me close. Closer than that! That’s right! Now all you have to do is move your feet and walk. If you want me to come towards you, just pull me closer. If you want me to walk backwards, just lean into me. I promise to follow you anywhere,” she whispered. Mandy put her arms around Buddy’s neck and leaned against him. She put her cheek against his chest. ”Trust me, Buddy, it will work. Besides if you start dancing, I’ll give you a kiss,” she added with a suggestive laugh.
Buddy leaned into her and began taking small steps. She moved backwards in unison with his body. As they moved, their bodies pressed together. Mandy looked up and kissed his neck. She ran her fingers through his hair and sang along with the music.
Buddy began to relax as he felt her body moving in response to his. He forgot his shyness. He closed his eyes, and it s
eemed as if, in a spell, they were the only ones in the place. They moved effortlessly around the floor. Buddy kissed her forehead. Mandy lifted her head and sought the sweet taste of his mouth and kissed him tenderly.
“I think I want to keep dancing with you,” Buddy whispered in her ear.
“That’s nice, but did you notice the music stopped a minute ago?” she giggled.
“Hey, boys, how about another love song?” he called and tossed another bill into their jar.
“I told you dancing was easy,” she kidded him. ”Another dance; another kiss,” she bribed him with a giggle. They danced a second time totally unaware of others on the dance floor. “Do you want another dance?” he asked.
“Let’s save your money. We can snuggle and kiss for free at home,” she added with a playful wink.
On the ride home, Mandy snuggled against him. She closed her eyes and felt unbelievably happy and safe. When they got home, Buddy parked his truck and pulled Mandy into his arms. He kissed her hungrily and she returned his kiss with total abandon. She clung to him sighing deeply.
Suddenly Buddy released her and moved away. “This is wrong, Mandy! I promised to give you time and space to decide if you feel the same way I do about you. It is so hard to give you the space you need. I shouldn’t be doing this. This isn’t giving you either time or space,” Buddy apologized solemnly. He moved farther away from her.
“Buddy, I want to---,” Mandy began.
Buddy interrupted her, “Please, don’t say anything more until you are sure how you feel.”
“But I ---,” she stammered.
Buddy slid out of the truck and walked her home. He kissed her forehead at the door and then walked home alone.
Once back in her bedroom, Mandy paced the floor. She had made up her mind, but Buddy kept stopping her when she tried to tell him her answer. As she walked, she thought back and remembered he had pulled back three different times when she had kissed him. A terrible thought formed in her mind. “I wonder if Buddy listened to my story and decided he wasn’t sure if he still wanted to marry me after all. He knows now how mixed up I was and that I had lived and stayed with another man and allowed myself to be abused. He knows I am not perfect. I had sex with another man. Buddy’s kept himself pure. He deserves a pure bride. That must be why he is trying to push me away or stop me from saying that I love him. I don’t blame him. I can never be the pure woman he has waited for. I wish I realized that before I fell in love with him. He deserves someone much better than me. After all, I’ve already had one failed marriage. Why would a man like Buddy settle for used goods when there are many unblemished women to choose from?” Mandy reasoned.
Once she understood why Buddy had changed, she sank down and cried. “He has been so kind to me. I still want to let him know how special he is and how much I appreciate the sweet way he cared for me when I was sick. I have to let him know that I still care about him, but I won’t hold him to his proposal. How can I let him know without putting pressure on him?” Mandy pondered.
While pacing around the room, Mandy glanced at a picture hanging on the wall. It was obviously a picture of a younger Buddy. He was smiling and holding a fish he had caught while fishing. A post-it note was stuck to the frame. She read the writing on the paper. “Great catch! Great trip! Great Son! Love, Dad.” The note was smudged and was obviously very old, but Buddy cherished it enough to keep it proudly all these years.
Mandy stopped and laughed. “That’s it!” she said. “I remember the little notes my mom put in my lunch box when I was having a hard time at school. After Mom died, Dad continued to hide little notes and surprises in my bedroom and jacket pockets. Mandy dug through the things in her suitcase until she found a bulging envelope that still held her special messages. She lovingly pulled some out and read and re-read them for the hundredth time. They weren’t worth anything moneywise, but they were Mandy’s most prized possessions even after all the years.
Mandy sat down in the chair, picked up her well-marked Bible, and a small notebook and pen from her purse. She began jotting down Bible verses that held special meaning for her. She copied or modified some of the notes she had received, letting them reveal her thoughts and feelings about Buddy and how much his actions had helped her. Other ideas popped into her mind and she scribbled them down as fast as she could. ‘Your smile is brighter and warmer than the sun on a summer day.’ ‘A kindness shown by a friend is never forgotten.’ ‘Your memory will always be in my heart.’ ‘God will never leave you or forsake you.’ ‘Whatever the problem, Jesus is the solution.’ ‘A strong man with a kind heart is the greatest treasure in life.’ ‘First is God; Second is family; Third is friends; Last is self. Live in that order and life will always be rich with love and joy.’ ‘A true friend is one who listens with the heart, does not judge and accepts you as you are.’ Mandy added quotes from 1 Corinthians 13, Psalms, and other favorite verses from the Bible. Before finally going to bed, Mandy had a stack of notes to start with. Writing the positive notes removed her restlessness, and she was able to fall asleep.
The next morning, Mandy dressed and walked down to meet the others in the dining room. Everyone was there except Buddy. The kitchen was filled with familiar delicious smells. She helped herself to a couple of sausages, eggs, fresh biscuits with freshly made strawberry jam, and a cup of coffee. She sat down next to Melanie. She had just started eating when Paul, Lisa, and Chris ran into the room. They went around the table collecting hugs and kisses from their grandpa and grandma. When they stopped by Mandy and saw Buddy’s empty chair. They looked shyly at her.
“May I have a hug, today?” Mandy asked with a smile. They clustered around her and gave her hugs and kisses. Paul sat next to Mandy while Lisa and Chris sat between Melanie and Grandma Madge. A few minutes later, Buddy walked inside looking tired. He noticed his usual place was filled. Without a word, he got a plate of food and sat down next to his father. He was quieter than usual.
Melanie smiled at him and said, “Too much dancing and drinking last night? Got a hangover or just overslept.”
Buddy didn’t even look up. “Neither,” he growled.
Melanie glanced at Mandy and shrugged her shoulders. Mandy mouthed, “I don’t know.”
When Robert listed the chores to be done, Buddy waited until the end to make his choice. Madge and Melanie announced they were going to do a cleanup of all the ranch houses. Mandy glanced over at Buddy, but he was concentrating on his plate. Mandy said, “Do you want an extra pair of hands to help with the cleaning?”
Melanie said, “Great. The more hands to do the job, the faster it gets done.” Madge smiled at Mandy’s offer.
Buddy said, “I noticed the barn needs a mucking out. I’ll take care of that job.”
Robert said, “I’ve got some tack that needs mending. If you have anything wrong with your bridles or saddles, bring them to me in the tack room.”
After the men had left for the barn, Mandy asked if she had time to drive to Carmelita to pick up a couple of things at the store. Madge and Melanie said, “No problem. Do you need anyone to go with you?”
Mandy said, “No, I think I know where to get the things I want. It won’t take me more than 15 minutes in town.” Mandy dashed up to her room, grabbed her purse, and hurried to her car. As she backed up, she saw Buddy watching her from inside the barn door. She looked in the mirror, but he didn’t wave or walk toward her. Mandy put it in drive and headed down the driveway. She sighed and shook her head sadly. “Even if he’s changed his mind about wanting to marry me, it still hurts so much that he didn’t even speak to me during breakfast or afterwards. I was hoping we could still be friends.”
When she got to town, she found a Wal-Mart store. Once inside, she located the stationery section and found several colors of Post-it Notes. She picked up a few colors, paid for them, and headed back to the farm. Once she got to the ranch, she rushed bac
k into the house. She located Madge cleaning in the living room.
“Can I talk to you about something?” Mandy asked.
“Anytime, honey,” Madge answered. “What’s up?”
“You know how much I appreciate all the work Buddy did to help me when I was so sick. I’ve been trying to think of a way to thank him besides just saying it. I want him to understand how much it meant to me. I thought of something I used to do, but I wanted to run it by you. It is something my parents did when I was young and something I did for my step-children,” Mandy said.
“What is it?” Madge asked.
Mandy quickly explained about the little notes and words of thanks and encouragement they had hidden around her room. “I thought of doing something like that for Buddy. This house cleaning chore would give me the time and opportunity to slip some in where he might find them later. I promise I won’t put anything in the notes that are personal or inappropriate. I just wondered if you thought it would be OK for me to put them in his closets and room,” Mandy explained. “Here are some sample messages.”
Madge looked them over and smiled. “I think these are wonderful! I wish I would have thought to do that when my kids were little, but I might borrow your idea for my grandkids. Of course, no matter how old we are, words of encouragement and love are still great. If I were him, I would be thrilled to find happy words meant just for me. Let me know how he reacts.”
Mandy hurried to her room. She neatly copied the notes onto the colorful Post It note papers and headed over to Buddy’s house. Although she had been in it the night he had proposed, Mandy had not looked around very thoroughly. She filled a bucket with warm soapy water and began scrubbing the downstairs rooms. While the floors dried Mandy went upstairs and started cleaning his bathroom. Mandy glanced around approvingly. The room was basically neat and clean. It only needed a quick cleaning. She moved the things on the counter and gave it a thorough wipe-down. She tried to replace everything where she had found it. She stripped the bed, took the soiled towels to the laundry area, finished loading the washer, and started the machine. While it was washing, she swept and vacuumed his bedroom carpet. She dusted the furniture and headed downstairs again. She gathered up the magazines around the room and stacked them neatly by his recliner chair. She finished dusting the living room. By then the washer had stopped. She went upstairs, put the wet load into the dryer and headed to the kitchen. The kitchen was already tidy. That made sense since he ate his meals at the main house. She peeked into the cupboards. They were fairly empty. She took her stack of notes and began putting them in different places. In the dish cupboard, she put a note in the bottom of a coffee mug. Inside the pots and pans area, she posted a Bible verse from Jeremiah. She giggled when she put one in the bread box. “Man cannot live on bread alone” it began. Mandy found some clothes in a hamper upstairs in his bedroom. She separated them, put them in the washer and continued stashing the notes in the upstairs rooms. When Mandy was putting clean sheets on his bed, she blushed when she wondered how comfortable it would be sharing his bed. She shook her head sadly remembering that she would never know the answer to that question. Since Mandy was used to cleaning a house, the work was quickly done. She walked through the house one final time, making sure everything had been done correctly. Mandy still had a handful of notes to hide. She retraced her steps. She placed a couple of notes in his closet, one tucked in his sock drawer, one in the middle of his pillow, and others in the medicine cabinet and the last one in the middle of the mirror in the bathroom. Satisfied that everything was clean and ready, Mandy walked out of Buddy’s house and closed the door behind her.