Chapter Seventeen
Logan and Helen pulled into the Kiser’s driveway. Logan walked around the car and opened Helen’s door. He held out his hand and helped Helen out of the car. When she was out, he tugged her into his arms and kissed her. She leaned into him, and he deepened the kiss. He made sure that he did not go too far. “I love you.” he whispered with emotion.
Helen had tears in her eyes as she responded. “I love you too. How is it that you are so good at making me feel special?”
“You are the one that makes that easy.” he leaned down and kissed her one last time.
The couple parted from their kiss and linked hands. They noticed the curtain swaying a bit and looked at one another knowing their mothers had been watching. Helen giggled. Logan opened the unlocked door and waited for Helen to enter before following her.
Logan breathed in through his nose. “That smells great.”
Helen laughed “I am going to agree with that.” she lowered her voice “I bet those two act surprise when we go into the kitchen.”
Logan chuckled. “My mom will be sitting for sure. She always sits when she is trying to act innocent of being a spy.”
“Not my mom. She will be stirring something on the stove.” her eyes sparkled now with impish delight.
Logan winked at her as they walked toward the kitchen. They opened the door and busted into fits of laughter. Helen lost it when her mom gave them a questioning look from the pot she was stirring.
Elaina looked at Ester from the chair she was sitting in “I think they saw us.”
The four laughed and then sat down for the meal. The food was excellent. The company was even better. The two women watched their children interact. They gave each other knowing looks as Logan winked at Helen causing her to blush. When it was time to do the dishes, Helen started blushing before Logan could volunteer them. The beauty of Helen and Logan’s relationship warmed each mother’s heart.
The dishes were done, and it was time to watch TV. Logan led Helen to the sofa and sat down before putting his arm around her. Leaning down, Logan kissed her lightly and winked.
Helen blushed. She was a bit uncomfortable with her mom right there in the room with them, but it was nice having Logan’s attention.
After a bit of news, Helen and Logan watched themselves on TV. It still felt so bizarre to Helen. She smiled as her mother laughed at the part Helen had taken advantage of the spins. Had it been less than a week ago? A part of her could not help but feel that it was longer. She was reading some of the tweets when one caught her eye. “Logan.” she whispered in fear.
Logan felt Helen tense up when she whispered his name. He could almost cut the fear in her voice it was so thick. “Helen?”
Elaina and Ester looked at each other and then Helen.
“The DVR Logan rewind the DVR.” Helen’s body was shaking now.
Ester handed the remote to Logan. Her worry was evident on her face.
Logan started to rewind. He watched Helen looking at the bottom. She was reading the tweets.
“There.” she whispered.
He hit pause on the DVR and then read the tweet. He felt sick in the pit of his stomach.
Ester, already worried, started getting even more worried when his face paled. “What’s wrong?”
Tears had now formed in Helen’s eyes, and she shook uncontrollably as she read and reread the tweet.
Logan looked at Helen. “That day, were you wearing pink overalls with flowers?” When Helen did not answer, Logan hit his knees in front of her. He gently took her face in his hands. “Helen, we cannot hide from this. Were you wearing pink overalls with flowers?”
Helen could not speak, so she nodded yes. “I’m going to be sick.” she whispered as she bolted for the bathroom.
Logan followed her in. Much like Jen had done for her, Logan knelt beside her and held her hair back. Terror shook Helen to her soul. She sat back on her heels when the vomiting ceased. She did not know what to do. The pain and fear she felt at that moment were unbearable. “Abba.” she cried out. Logan’s arms went around her and she held onto him as she cried again to God. “Please Abba.”
Logan’s cheeks were wet with tears. He had never witnessed in his life such pain. The night she had put into words what he had known was nothing in comparison to this. He had to think, though. Helen was in danger. He had to help her gain control. “Helen.” he whispered. “Helen the time for secrets has to end now. We need to deal with this. I’m here. You are not alone.”
Ester was beside herself. What was going on with her baby girl? She had never seen Helen do this. She had not even realized that Helen had such pain. Ester watched Logan hold her daughter. Looking at his face, she knew that he was aware of what was causing Helen’s pleas to heaven.
Logan did not know what to do to get Helen to calm down, so he began to pray as he had done the first day he met her. “Father help me help her. Please help her see that she is not alone.” He continued to pray until he felt Helen relax against him.
Helen was spent. Her mind kept replaying the tweet in her mind. It was vulgar right down to the name he chose: Ihadher1st: seeing Helen laugh reminds me of her pink flowered overalls she was a special child #HelenandLogan.
Logan still held her. Helen didn’t have the strength to pull away. She heard him speak. “Helen, we need to call the police. Do you understand? Honey please we need to talk.”
She felt him stand and lift her into his arms. She put her face into his neck and tried to hide. She wanted to hide. She felt him sit down on the sofa. Helen made no move to leave his lap. She felt like the fear was eating her alive.
Logan knew he needed to make sure Helen was safe. He also knew she might get a bit upset with what that entailed. “Ester, would you please call the police station. I know you don’t understand, but Helen is in danger. We need to speak to them.”
Helen started shaking again. “Logan. I can’t.” she whispered.
“If you can’t, I will. I can be your voice. Do you trust me?” Logan asked gently.
Helen shook her head yes.
“He will not hurt you again. I know you don’t want this, but Helen, your mom, she needs to know.” Logan whispered.
“I can’t. I just can’t. Please, Logan, I just want it to go away.” She begged for something no man could deliver.
“If you let me, I can tell your mom. Helen, let me be your voice.” Logan whispered into her hair.
Helen nodded yes. Her teeth were chattering from the fear she was feeling.
“I’m going to put you down, Helen. My mom is right here. I’m going to the kitchen to speak to your mom. Are you ok with that?” Logan asked gently and waited for her to agree.
Tears streamed down Helen’s face. “Yes,” she whispered her agreement. She turned her face into the sofa as he put her down unable to meet Elaina’s sorrowful gaze. As tight as she could curl up, she did, yet nothing seemed to push the pain away.
Logan touched her arm and went to the kitchen. He asked Ester to follow him. She was crying softly. He walked over and sat down. She walked over and sat beside him. Ester looked up at Logan expectantly. Her eyes reminded him of Helen. He heard her whisper her confusion.
“I don’t understand. What is this about? Please, Logan will you tell me?”
Logan was not sure how to soften the news, so he didn’t. “When Helen was nine, she had been playing at a friend’s house. She was walking home when a man took her.” Ester looked into Logan’s eyes. He knew he had to finish. “Ester, Helen was assaulted that day. That message on the screen was for Helen. He was describing the clothes she wore that day. He also used a vulgar name to represent himself. He is going to come for her. I want you to know I won’t let him hurt her again. I also would like to ask you to do something else.” Logan paused waiting for her to indicate she heard him. “Would mind calling the past
or? I think he and Jen need to be here. I know this is a lot to take in, and I am sorry about that, but I want you to know God is going to handle this.” He waited for Ester to agree again before he went back to Helen.
Elaina watched as Helen tightened herself into the fetal position. She was facing the back of the sofa and shaking. Elaina could not imagine what this young woman had endured to cause such a strong reaction. She did know she could pray.
Logan came back into the living room. His mother was on her knees beside the sofa in silent prayer. He walked over to her and touched her hand. Much like he had done with the camera crew, he asked if he and Helen could have a moment alone. Elaina hugged her son and left the room.
Logan picked Helen up and settled her on his lap. He whispered his love to her. He then asked. “Helen, who do you see? Who do you feel? Who am I?”
Helen listened to Logan’s voice. She knew she was safe with him. Helen knew God sent him to her. Why was she so afraid? She pulled away and looked into his face. Helen saw that he had been crying too. He had shared her pain. Why was that not enough? It dawned on her then that he was sufficient because God was sufficient. God had sent Logan to her. The man that hurt her would have come with or without the benefit. Her face had been all over the news. The benefit had brought Logan into her life. The benefit was God’s way of protecting her. It was His way of having her see that now was the time to deal with her past head on. The timing was for her protection. God knew this man was going to come. He was aware that she would need someone to help her and love her. Helen cupped Logan’s face with both of her hands. “I see you, Logan.” she put her hand on his chest, “I feel you, Logan. You are the man that God sent for the moments that were, the moments that are, and the moments that are yet to come.” With every word that left her body the panic left with it. She laid her head on his shoulder exhausted.
Logan was shaken with the words she said. He knew that every one of them was true. He also knew this was not over yet.
Looking up at Ester and his mother, Logan knew that both had heard every word he and Helen had said. He also knew Helen’s momentary peace would have to come to an end.
Ester was beside herself in the kitchen when Elaina came in. How could she have not seen the issue Helen was having? Ester needed to see her daughter. She was getting ready to go to her when Elaina put her finger to her lips in a gesture to be silent. They opened the door and listened to what Logan had said to Helen. Ester put her hand to her mouth to stifle a cry as she heard her daughter respond. She knew this man would be her son-in-law. No other would have been able to see Helen like Logan saw her. She walked over and kissed the top of his head. Helen looked up at her from his chest. She reached down and took her hand. Helen held it to her face and closed her eyes. Ester knew at that moment that God would take care of this. “I love you, Helen. You will always be my sweet little girl.”
“I love you too Mamma,” Helen said softly.
It had been thirty minutes since Ester had called the police. A knock sounded on the door. Logan knew it would be them. He was aware that things were going to get hard again for Helen. As Ester went to answer the knock, Logan talked to Helen his voice was gentle but firm. “This is going to be hard, but if ever there was a time for you to do your best to remember what happened, that day it is now. I will not leave you. When you get weak, lean into me and I will do my best to be your strength. I love you, Helen. I am here.”
Logan looked up and saw two police officers coming into the house. He was relieved to see Jeff and Jen behind them. He felt Helen tense. Logan knew she had heard him. He knew she could do what needed to be done. Logan just hoped she knew she could. One of the officers was a female. She looked at Helen with a look of compassion. Ester must have told them some of what was going on. The TV was still paused on the tweet. A flash of anger crossed over both of the officers’ faces as they read it. The female officer asked Ester if it were recorded. Logan was surprised when he heard his mom answer for her. Elaina explained that she had pressed record when she realized what was going on.
Jen did not hesitate. She went right to Helen who was still sitting in Logan’s lap. “I’m here” she whispered as she took Helen’s free hand. “You can do this.”
After making a few of phone calls, the female officer walked over to the couple.
Helen was watching people while she was still holding Jen’s hand like an anchor. She knew the time had come and started to tremble again. The officer hunched down beside her.
“My name is Detective Benion I know this is hard for you and some things may have been forgotten as time passed, but could you tell us about the man that hurt you? Anything you can remember may help us catch him. You need to know that he can still be charged with rape.”
Helen flinched at the sound of the word. Logan tightened his hold a little calming her.
Jen and Logan were the only two in the room with her and the officer. Helen explained where she lived at the time. She remembered the street names and the route she always took from her house to Tammy’s and vice versa.
“Do you remember where you were on this route when he took you?” the detective asked softly.
Helen started to tremble again. Her voice sounded shaky as she answered “I was skipping from the sidewalk down the alley beside the hardware store. I saw a puddle and jumped in it. I thought I heard a sound but was looking at another puddle to jump into.” a shudder shook her body as she finished “He grabbed me. I tried to scream, but his hand covered my mouth. It made me gag because it smelled.”
Logan knew he needed to be her strength, but these details were breaking his heart for the little girl Helen was at the beginning of that fateful day. A tear slid down his cheek. He could not help it.
The detective was gentle as she asked the next question “The smell that made you sick. Think about it now as an adult. Do you think you could place it?”
Helen thought. Alarm shot through her “Smoke. His hands smelled like he had been smoking a cigar or cigarette.” she turned to Logan “I did see someone watching me if you had not started giving me rides…” her voice trailed off.
Logan looked at the detective and explained. “The first week we began dance practice Helen said she felt weird like someone was watching her. She said that she thought she saw the glow of a cigarette or a cigar, in the alley, across from the dance studio.” he looked at Helen. “I never said anything because I thought it was my imagination, but I thought I saw the glow of a cigarette or a cigar coming from the wooded area across from here.”
Detective Benion called for her partner “Peters. Could you come here?”
Officer Peters came through the door “You called?”
“Could you check the wooded area across from here? We need to see if there are cigar or cigarette butts. Would you also call and see if someone could go to the alley across from this address and check for the same? If they see any butts, bag them. If you could do that too in your area, it could be a lead as to who this guy is.” She handed him the studio address.
“I will get on it,” Peters answered and walked to the front door.
Detective Benion knew things were going to get harder. She took a breath and gently asked “Helen do you know where he took you? Can you remember anything about the place he took you to assault you? I know this is hard but close your eyes and see if you can picture the room.”
Helen closed her eyes. She tried to let herself go back to that day. Tears slid down her cheeks. She let go of Jen’s hand and bolted out of Logan’s arms. “I’m going to be sick again.”
Logan followed her once more. She had nothing left to come out of her body, but she shook with dry heaves. “Abba, help.” she cried in despair. “I’m so scared.” Logan was beside her. She leaned into him. “What do I do?” she asked into his chest.
Logan was shaken by the turn of events. It was tearing him
up looking at Helen’s pain. The wall between physical and mental pain for her did not seem to exist. He knew he needed to be strong for her. He knew what she needed was for him to be firm. They needed to catch this guy and the only way to do it was for her to tell them what she could remember. Even though it seemed cruel, he answered her the only way he could. “You are going to be strong and tell the police what they need to get this guy. It is going to hurt. It is time to deal with this now, or he will try to take you again.”
Helen heard Logan speak. To others, it may have sounded harsh, but she could feel how tense he was. She could feel his heart beating, and his body tremble. She knew it hurt him to say that to her. He was trying to help her get control. It was working. “Paint I smelled paint. The wall had tools, and there was a lawn mower.”
“Did it look like a room?” the detective asked.
“It was a shed or maybe a workshop. It was not connected to another building.”
“When he took you did he drive you to this room?”
Helen’s voice became stronger each time she answered. “He was able to drag me there.”
“How about him do you remember anything about how he looked?”
“He wore a mask,” Helen said she remembered something then. “Wait! I did not see his face, but he had a scar. It looked like an incision like he had stitches.”
“Could you tell me what area of his body the scar was at?”
Helen stood up. She knew that the other things that happened were going to be known. She lifted her shirt up just a bit and pointed to her lower right side. The scar was below the hip bone. “It was around here.”
Officer Benion had other questions, but it was time for a break. There was no way she could ask the next question without Helen taking one. “I think we need a break. Would you like to get yourself a drink?”
Helen could not bring herself to look at Logan. She nodded yes and headed for the kitchen.
Logan knew he had to let her know that his love was still there and still real. He walked after her. Just before they got to the kitchen, he took her hand and stopped her. “I love you, Helen. I’m proud of you for being so strong and honest. If you think that in any way this will make me love you less, I am telling you now it will not. You are still my future.”
“I can’t even look at you. I’m so ashamed.” Helen whispered.
Logan used his fingers to tilt her head back. She closed her eyes. “Open your eyes. Who do you see?”
Her eyes opened. She answered, “I see you, Logan.”
Jen watched Helen leave. She was sick with what that monster had done to her as a child. When Helen did not look at Logan, Jen knew Helen was feeling ashamed again. She watched Logan go after her and followed. It was not that Jen meant to eavesdrop, but they were between her and the kitchen. What she witnessed from Logan was beautiful. Jen had never seen any person so in tune with another. She knew that Logan would die to keep Helen safe. If Logan was going to be the tool God used, Jen also wondered how he was going to be able to keep her safe while he was living in another house. It had only been about a half an hour since she and Jeff had gotten there to her, but it felt like five hours. She just could not imagine how long it must feel to this couple.
Helen pushed the door open to the kitchen. She stopped as all eyes came to her. Everything was suddenly too much. She felt herself shutting down. She could not even fight it. She was looking at Pastor Jeff getting up from his chair. She could see the dark coming and welcomed it.
Jeff looked up from his seat. Helen had opened the door and was standing there. He was taken back by the anguish he saw on her. It only took him a second to realize she was going to faint. He started to rise from his chair.
Logan was there first. He caught her preventing her head from hitting the counter corner. Logan looked at Ester. “I’ll take her to her room.”
Ester got up and started for the stairs.
Logan followed her with a limp Helen in his arms. He turned and spoke to Detective Benion. “I will be back down.”
Ester opened the door and stood aside for Logan to enter. She watched as he laid Helen on the bed and then gently kissed her forehead. Knowing he needed to get back downstairs, Ester touched his shoulder and whispered “I have her now. You go ahead.”