“I-It’s just the waaay you smile and how your eyes light up and I’ve always thought you were really, really nice and cute. A-and you just knooooow what to say when I’m saaaaad and you give the best hugs. Liam, I –(hiccup)- really like you,” she stuttered, giving me a sincere smile.
My legs were suddenly really interesting. I had no damn idea of what to say. I scratched the back of my head uneasily.
“Hum, uh, well, I don’t-“
Scarlett cut me off by lifting my head up and kissing me.
Kissing me.
I felt like stone, I couldn’t move at all. I also didn’t feel anything at all, this was absolutely nothing compared to kissing Lena.
“LEE-YUM! WHY ARE YOU KISSING SCAR!” screamed a voice that could only belong to one girl.
Ellie.
Scar pulled her lips away from mine, as a giggle escaped her lips. I looked at Ellie, who was crying and shaking her head disapprovingly at me. The rose in her hair was still in place, making her look angelic.
“Lee-yum, she isn’t Lena,” she whimpered, tears freely escaping her eyes.
I know.
“Look, I’m sorry. I don’t see you that way, alright?” I blurted out in a rush, standing up. Scar shook her head, smiling sadly, and laid her head on the corner of the couch. She closed her eyes and soon enough, snores were filling the house.
I turned to Ellie, who looked disappointed in me.
“I don’t, I swear. She kissed me, I swear. It’ll always be Lena, Scarlett and I are nothing more than friends.”
“Really?” said Ellie in a small voice. I nodded fervently and squatted down to be at her level, as she attacked me in an embrace.
“Well, promise me you won’t ever kiss anyone else than Lena.” She offered me her pinky, with an extremely serious expression on her face. I linked her pinky with mine, slightly squeezing it.
“I promise.”
Suddenly, my phone started vibrating and ringing in my pocket. I pulled it out and stood up. Confusion flooded all over me as I saw that it was Adam. He never called. I answered, holding the phone to my ear.
“Hey, mate. You need to get your bloody ass in the hospital right now, do you hear me?” he said, his voice shaking.
Strangely enough, Ellie was already at the door, reaching for her winter jacket which was on a small shoe closet by the door. “Why?” I managed to croak out, fearing his answer.
“Lena’s dying."
27
Omnia Vincit Amor
“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”
~Aristotle~
Liam Christopher Black
“Lena’s dying.”
All breath caught in my throat and suddenly it felt as if all my senses had gone numb. My vision got fuzzy, but my ears were still glued to the phone. I blinked a couple of times, trying to process what he had said to me. The temperature had dropped into -100 degrees. Part of me wanted to laugh and praise Adam for that prank, but the other part of me was certain that he wasn't lying. After all, he knew how I felt about her and Adam wasn't dumb enough to lie about something so big.
“How?” I whispered, barely audible, but loud enough for Adam to hear. I heard someone, possibly a girl, hysterically crying and someone saying, "Sh, it'll be alright Tori." After a little shifting around, my cousin’s side seemed quieter.
“We don’t know exactly, but about an hour ago, the doctor called. Her heart’s failing and her breathing’s slowing down. Plus, at the rate it’s going, I doubt that we have more than an hour and then she’ll-"
"Don't you even dare finish that sentence. She's not going to die, do you understand me? I won’t let her die." I cut him off with a stern tone. I had no idea if I was convincing him or myself. Maybe I was just dreaming, maybe I was going to wake up and realize that none of this had ever even happened. The kiss, the coma, Lena on the verge of dy-
Stop.
"Yeah-I understand- but you need to get here, now, ” said Adam, the tone of urgency in his voice doing nothing but worrying me even more. I nodded fervently, but then remembered that he couldn’t see me.
"I'll be there in less than five minutes," was all I said before hanging up. I clenched and unclenched my fists, trying to steady my breathing. I took in my surroundings. Scarlett was sleeping soundly, her mouth slightly open and a little drool rolling down her chin. The smell of alcohol filled the air and I felt my stomach uncomfortably churning. My whole body felt on fire and beads of sweat were forming on my forehead. I took one look at the door and a thought suddenly knocked on my head with an incredible force.
What are you waiting for? Go, NOW!
I took the car keys in my hand and was in a flash at the door, which was already strangely open. I was already walking outside, ignoring the feeling of my socks getting wet under the snow. Who cared about shoes at the moment? There wasn’t a second to spare. Time was running out and Lena was on that god damned bed in the hospital, dying. Heading towards my car, a small figure was standing beside it. She was fully dressed for the weather, half of her face covered by the pink Hello Kitty scarf wrapped around her neck.
Ellie.
Upon seeing me, she lowered her scarf so she could speak. She looked completely pale in the moonlight. She pointed to the back door, with a duh expression. I ushered my hands in the air, waving them around, exasperated. Ellie rolled her eyes and knocked on the window of the back seat, folding her arms stubbornly.
“Ellie, please go inside, I need to leave.” I pleaded, this was definitely the last thing I needed at the moment.
“I’m leaving with you, Lee-yum,” she stated, stomping one foot in the snow, making a little snow rebound further away.
“Go inside, now.” I adopted a strict tone, which I never used with her, she was always obedient.
“No.”
At that moment, something inside of me snapped. All the bottled up anxiety, worry and fear just exploded out.
“JUST GO INSIDE, ELLIE! I DON’T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW,” I yelled angrily.
Ellie cowered away a little, but the fiery look in her eyes didn’t even falter. Her bottom lip came out a little, forming a pout. Her eyes widened innocently. She knew exactly what she was doing, and she knew it was going to make me surrender. Guilt immediately washed over me and I groaned tiredly.
I felt bad for screaming at her, but at least I knew that she understood. “I’m sorry. But you can’t – oh, who cares? You know what? Just get in,” I said, unlocking the door.
She got in and buckled up her belt and smiled with satisfaction. I got in the car and started the engine, not waiting a second to get out of the Jones’ driveway. Ellie hit the belt with her hand, reminding me to wear it. I buckled it and kept my hands firmly on the wheel, slightly turning it when needed.
The road was empty, and I had to restrain myself from going on full speed. I struggled taking deep breaths to keep my concentration on the road ahead of me. I had to control myself from screaming at the slow car that had suddenly appeared in front of me. It was like walking behind an old lady who took tiny steps to go down the stairs. I simply changed lanes and tried to calm my nerves.
I didn’t want to get pulled over by a cop, or worse, get into an accident. I couldn’t risk another life lost, especially Ellie’s. At the rate I was driving at, we could arrive at the hospital in less than ten minutes. I just hoped I wasn’t late. I couldn’t bear the thought of her dying. I had to see her, I had to see-
Lena.
She couldn’t die. I wasn’t going to allow it. I’ve had enough of this; people leaving me. I wasn’t going to lose her. Somehow, a goal had been set. I wasn’t going to let her leave me. How? No idea. Why? Because I love her. Lena Rose Winter was the only person who mattered to me and she had to stay.
Glancing at the fuel gauge, I groaned. The indicator was on “E”, signaling an empty gas tank. I cursed under my breath, if this car broke down in the middle of this situation, I would personally put it up in flames. This vehicle has
been with me through a lot and if it abandoned me at the moment, I would despise it forever.
I looked straight forward, sighing with relief upon realizing that this was the hospital’s street. I’ve seen it in movies, the hero’s car runs for at least ten minutes and that’s all I needed. The car would surely last two more minutes, was I right?
No, idiot, you’re wrong again.
Halfway into the hospital’s parking entrance, the car sputtered, coughing weakly and halted into a stop.
“Uh-oh,” murmured Ellie, breaking the silence. I mentally agreed with her and grimaced. At least I could push it to be in the parking spot which was straightforward.
My mind was already set and I knew exactly what to do. I got out of the car and opened Ellie’s door. I signaled for her to get out as well.
“Okay, Ellie, I want you to wait for me in front of this door, alright?” I asked, pointing to the entrance. She nodded obediently, going in the direction of the door.
I took several deep breaths, thinking of Lena. Frustration was running in my veins and I guess this was the way I had to let it out. I stood behind the car, and summoned every ounce of power in me. I put my hands on the car and pushed. It moved a little, but then almost immediately stopped.
Wrestling classes, huh?
“DAMN IT!” I screamed.
I decided on leaving the car here and dealing with it later. At the moment, nothing mattered more than Lena.
Just as I turned to leave, a bulky security guard was heading my way. Oh, come on. I expected him to force me to push the car in or go get gas, but to my surprise, he offered me his hand.
“Your keys, sir.”
“W-why?” I asked, confused. He shook his head, amused and pointed to Ellie, who shyly waved.
“The little lady told me you needed gas, I’ve got some in the ambulance garage. Give me your keys, and I’ll park your car and fill it up,” he said, nodded his almost-bald head towards me. Without another word, I gave him the keys and patted his shoulder gratefully.
I ran towards the door, seeing Trudy with Ellie. I rubbed Ellie’s hair affectionately. She smiled a little, her eyes meeting mine. I saw a level of kindness and comprehension impossible for a seven year old girl to have.
“Come on, Lee-yum, you have a princess to save. I’ll stay here with Mrs. Trudy.”
I looked up at Trudy and she only ushered with her head to the left, where the hospital halls were at.
“Thank you,” I said, already running towards room 173, the one Lena was in.
My legs did me a favor and ran at full speed. I ignored the people trying to stop me from running in the halls, only one name in my mind. I didn’t get tired, even though Lena’s room was on the complete other side of the hospital. I earned confused and angry stares, but I couldn’t care less about what people thought right now. The most important person in my life was dying and I had to see her.
I halted to a stop upon seeing Adam, Tori, Catherine, Belle and Mrs. Winter in front of her room. I was close enough to see them, but too far to see Lena through the glass. Adam was sitting on a chair beside Tori, whose head was buried in his chest and shoulders were shaking. He acknowledged my presence with a small nod, as his eyes poured pity on me. I hated the way he looked at me.
Catherine was comforting Mrs. Winter, softly rubbing her shoulder, and offering her tissues. Her eyes met mine with the same expression as Adam’s. Lena’s mother was devastated. Her hair was disheveled and her face was completely red, or at least what I could see of it. She blew her nose with a tissue and sobbed quietly, her gaze directed to the ground. Seeing her that way broke my heart, because she’d always been a funny woman who’d tease Lena and me with silly jokes. She looked up to me with sadness and put her head down again.
Belle, on the other hand, was as stiff as a stone. She was leaning against the wall, her eyes empty and completely dry. Her expression was sullen, as if she were staring into nothing.
I took a deep breath and turned to the glass revealing Lena. My heart almost stopped seeing her. She had somehow become thinner than the last time I’d seen her, which was only two days ago. Her face was as white as a sheet, her features as delicate as snow. Her eyelids were still firmly shut, framed by full eyelashes, as they hid her chestnut brown eyes which I yearned to see again. A tube was connected to her mouth, for the first time, looking as if it was plastered into them. She looked peaceful, as if she was having a nice dream.
My eyes watered and in only a few seconds, a waterfall of tears freely streamed down my face. Looking at her hurt, everything hurt. Seeing how frail she was and the fact that I could lose her in a matter of seconds had now fully dawned on me. My eyes flickered to the heart rate monitor and I cried harder seeing the line weakly going up. The beeping wasn’t as fast or normal as usual, it could be estimated to 30/second. It seemed to me as if it kept on slowing down.
Lena was dying.
Dying.
I looked at the doctor, who had just arrived, looking flustered. It was Dr. Morrison, the same one who had dealt with Grandma Darla. Running a hand through his disheveled gray hair, he sent me an exhausted smile, while clenching his clipboard.
“How long?” I questioned, fearing his answer.
“A couple more minutes,” He shrugged helplessly.
“Can’t you do CPR?” There had to be a way to save her.
“The doctors, or rather technicians, are on their way. They’re just preparing the equipment and should be here any second now.”
“Can I go in?” I asked. He shook his head.
“There can’t be any contact with her right now, we have to preserve every second. CPR or more specifically, defibrillation only works within seven minutes after the death. If they come a second later, she’ll be gone.”
I felt goose bumps appear on my arms at the way he’d so casually said “death.” I turned to the glass again and kept my eyes on her. Staying in that position for about ten minutes, which seemed like an eternity, I willed with all of my heart for her to open her eyes and that the heart rate monitor beeped faster.
We all stayed in complete silence, except for the sobbing. I had stopped crying and my heart felt numb.
I felt numb.
All of a sudden, memories flashed in my head.
The first day I saw her, the way she’d awkwardly thanked me for catching her, the day at the park, the sunset, the way she’d slept on my shoulder, the way I felt truly happy with her that day, the way she laughed about everything, the way her eyes lit up at the thought of winning against me, the way she danced out of happiness, the way she loved Ed Sheeran, the way her eyebrows scrunched up when she was in deep thought, the way she cried, the way we danced in the snow on the day of the dance, the way we kissed, the way she made me feel over clouds, the way enjoyed every bite of ice cream, the way she let me cry and didn’t judge me, the way she understood, the way she jumped in front of me and took the hit, the way she made every simple, little thing so damn beautiful.
My heart beating and her heart barely making the machine beep were the only noises I could hear. Her heart was slowing down, too fast. I knew what was about to happen, there were only seconds left.
“Please, don’t,” I murmured repeatedly, my hands on the glass separating us. Her chest went up for the last time, almost as if letting out her soul.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
The machine let us hear the last heartbeat and announced the end. Lena’s body went limp, even more than it already was. Bereaved, my head lowered, but I could still see her. The tears did not fall; my desiccated eyes already pained excruciatingly from excessive crying. My throat was parched from all that blubber.
“LENA!” screamed Mrs. Winter to my side, crumbling to the ground.
Convulsive sobs racked her body. Looking at Tori, I saw that she was in the same state as her mom. Well, almost. She was on the floor, holding her knees and moving back and forth, her face completely hidden by the redness and the tears. I locked my eyes with Adam, w
hose eyes were betraying by letting a few tears escape. The only person who wasn’t crying was Belle. She was standing beside me, directly looking at Lena.
“Why are you all crying, huh? She’s not dead, okay? SHE’S NOT FUCKING DEAD! STOP CRYING!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. They stayed in the same positions as before, as if they didn’t hear me at all.
I turned to Dr. Morrison, who was looking at me with pity. I didn’t know what came over me at that moment. I took his collar in my hands.
“DO SOMETHING! SHE CAN’T DIE!”
He shook me off, pointing to about five doctors/technicians/nurses. They rolled a small table with a machine on it into the room.