Speaking of half truths
Dafne had extinguished the jail cell without answering to Moris, and you/he/she was inserted in shower. While water slipped her along the body, the head it kept on thinking. An only worm seemed to gnaw her brain, giving her a physical evil. He/she thought about the last words of Bob on the fact that had tried to kill himself/herself/themselves. He/she thought about his/her amazement in to know that Vanessa had told her everything, but not of a certain Thomas, that from the tone of Bob a fundamental detail was seemed. Who was Thomas and what would you/he/she have been able to change in the spine-chilling reality of the story of Vanessa? Everything? Nothing?
Then the mind it wandered, returning back to that evening when you/he/she had met her. Dafne strove him to remember, despite the shock of that moments it still petrified her/it. You/he/she was passing in review all the words of Vanessa that he/she succeeded in remembering, but never a solo indication to that Thomas. A sentence, among so many, it kept on playing again her in head: you wanted some truths and me I/you/they have come to tell you her. It was a sentence that to that point he/she left many points of question. Dafne he felt stupid to conceive that thoughts. The words of Bob would not have had to interest her/it more; you/he/she would only have had to rest and to return to the cafe to reconcile him with Moris.
But it otherwise went. Dafne held extinguished the jail cell and it disappeared the whole day. In that warm Sunday of June, you/he/she had taken the car and driven for different time. You/he/she had returned in a place that had visited years first with Bob; you/he/she had been one of theirs first excursions together. Is sat in shore to a clear course of water. It felt the same breeze of that day, even though warmer, and deeply more melancholy. He/she remained for times with depressed air there. After all that months point had returned and to head, or it perhaps discovered plain pian that had never moved really. Departed very other time in car, before returning in Milan.
In the meantime, to the cafe, Moris had tried at least twenty times to call her/it. You/they were left with the whole sadness of a history that staggered on to be born; only evidence was the visceral love of Moris. The indisposition of his/her/their mother had prolonged the agony of a necessary explanation. Fifty-fifty afternoon was made alive Samuel, stranito also him that Dafne was not present.
«When we are greeted there last night you/he/she has told me that today you/he/she would have worked. Even you/he/she has had an unforeseen event to house.» it told Sammy Moris, noticing the nervousness of it, after the nth listening of the reception office of Dafne.
«You/he/she can give him, but it is not from her to disappear so, I/you/they are worried. Yesterday you/he/she has not called also me, yet he/she knew that I was anxious to know something» it confided Moris.
«Calm Moris, has gone last night to the great one! You have been here all fantastic ones to the cafe. And however Dafne. be', last night you/he/she has had burdens distraction. Do you know as they are the women with an ex around, no? It will be out still phase» it admitted Sammy with naivety.
Dafne had often spoken to him of the strong complicity that tied her/it to his/her head. And he/she didn't believe that with that sentence you/he/she would have blabbed something of so much secret. But the expression of Moris withdrew him without control.
«Thing? Excuse but of whom speak?» he/she asked Moris with an aggressiveness that didn't succeed in appeasing, as if he/she talked to a blade hammered in the abdomen.
Samuel had realized to be incappato in an ugly blunder, but by now you/he/she could not change rout and it was found forced to answer, trying to mend, vaguer possible staying.
«I believe pits his there ex among the guests of last night, but I don't know other, I have understood badly even. Excuse me but I have to load the van, otherwise Daylight kills me.»
It did to go out in the hope not to have combined some country house. But Moris stopped him/it for an arm.
«Excuse and you you have seen him this ex? Be' you know, I care for Dafne and I would like to understand better» churches Moris, trying to fake himself/herself/themselves the more possible a protective friend and some curious.
«In reality I have seen her go out of the cafe, perhaps for a cigarette, and behind of her his is gone out, be' an ex teacher of ours. And then they have reentered one after the other, but even mistake. After all it is normal that they were greeted, considering that it was one teacher of his.»
«Chellini was among the guests?»
Samuel understood that you/he/she had guessed us, and once more it felt that you/he/she was speaking too much.
«When you/he/she has reentered I have seen her disturbed and you/he/she has spoken to me of the presence of his ex. In short I have done two, more two.» he/she explained Sammy.
Moris was whitened. You/he/she could not believe in those words. Bob had been in his/her place and you/he/she had perhaps done her some evil.
«And do you feel, is you/he/she seemed you that that Chellinis you/he/she had told her or done do something disagreeable, or undesirable?» he/she visibly asked anxious Moris. Samuel to that point gained that there was something more complicated of the expectation.
«Thing you intend excuse?»
«Nothing of detail, wanted to understand what Dafne has told you, or if even you/they have had some power on discussion» it replied Moris, nonchalant of the fact that was involving Samuel in done deprived, putting him/it to uneasiness.
«They owe to have spoken out, and I believe more than once. But nothing serious, this no. A normal discussion among ex. You had shaken, but you/he/she has talked me to calm. You/he/she has told me to be very confused because he/she didn't see him/it from some. You/he/she was surely upset, but above all, from what I have realized, from the fact that him not the pits still indifferent as it hoped. However I believe that you should ask to her, I am making me his/her facts without knowing her/it, and it is not nice.»
Moris seemed paralyzed, with separation and forced breath it tried to return in itself to work.
«Already. excuse me, excuse I know much me. Do you feel Samuel, would I like that this conversation was absolutely private, you can guarantee me him?»
«Any problem, would have had perhaps to be silent from the beginning however.» the boy answered in total embarrassment.
«No you have me as soon as, be'. you have not said anything of what, The ams me that too much curious. The now have to escape, he/she greets Daylight.»
After ten minutes Moris had taken a break and you/he/she was squirted homeward of Dafne. Just before to arrive us on his/her jail cell a sms it arrived:
Hi Moris, forgive not to have reached you to me to the cafe. I had need to be alone. I have to clarify some things. I will speak of it. I will speak to you of everything. To tomorrow.
To Moris the world collapsed I set. Dafne was well, and of this was lifted. But the revelation that sprang was even more scioccante of it; the woman that loved had need to be alone about to clarify him the ideas on Bob. You/he/she had left her while it was drawing his/her initial as an in love high school student and the evening before if n'erano been out of his/her cafe as two communes ex engaged. Prey Moris to the anxiety decided to call her/it.
«Dafne I was in thought. And I have not understood your message. Where are you? All to place? Are you alone?» churches him to gust, without not even waiting that she ended to say" ready."
«Moris, is well. I am drinking a coffee in the truck stop; I wanted to make alone a turn. I am exhausted. excuse me. I would have called you tomorrow» it reassured him/it her, with the air of whom would have liked to postpone the conversation.
«Excuse Daf, but we have not seen us for a week and I hoped to see you today or to feel you last night. Doesn't something go?» he/she asked with suspicious, trying to hold back the anger that was invading him/it.
«Moris, is well. I also care me to see soon you, but today I had need to go out of that accursed city; last night benone has gone, but there
was so to do what an instant I have not had» it nervously said her.
«I already imagine. Are you sure that nobody is forcing you to be away Daf?»
«Moris you are calm, are they in the truck stop, do you want to come to see?»
«You feel, in effects there is too much country house in that place, I hardly feel you. Then we feel there when you want you.»
Moris returned to the cafe. It was by now sure that Dafne was not held back by anybody and that, incredibly, she still tried something for that man. Before its doubts of the week were correct, and a stab to the breast would have hurt him/it less. Just entered to the cafe it reached the bath to vomit.
It was dark when the car of Dafne stopped him in an avenue to her a lot of relative. It observed with severe look the entry of the residence aldilà of the road, while it was lighting up a cigarette. The time was not realized spent from when you/he/she had begun to look at those dark windows, but they were the 22.30 when a Jeep parked near the residence. Bob had the stunned air; he wore a pant of the overall and one t-shirt dark that you/he/she marked of it particularly the wide shoulders, doing himself/herself/itself ampler on the abdomen. Before entering house, unaware to be observed, it leaned him with tense braccia to the door bending the head in low, as him same taking back breath. It labored to stand up himself/herself/themselves standing. With difficulty it opened the door and it entered. Dafne was it sues to fix that door by now dam, made suspicious by those strange movements. You/he/she was seemed him drunk. The ratiocination told her big voice to gear the march and to race away; the instinct brought her/it to go down from the auto. It kept on scrutinizing the house, stranita from the fact that any light had still turned on. You brought to the entry and it touched the handle, the door was open. Dafne found again him in the redemption of that house, to her as hostile relative as. Thousand feelings were devouring her the heart and the stomach. It advanced in the faint light and in the silence. The spaces of the saloon were cleared by a lamp of last design, that Dafne had purchased back time. It was one of that reflectors that it sent forth a weak light. Dafne began to feel a deep breath, asthmatic, the same that you/he/she had heard the evening in the path before. Bob was I pour again on the couch, with the hands on the face; you/he/she tried to check his/her respiraton, uselessly. To that point Dafne called him/it for name, to reveal his/her presence before drawing near. He jumped in sat position, her to that point him he was nearby fiondata kneeling himself/herself/itself in front of the couch.
«Dafne. you macaws indeed you?» churches panting.
You had taken his/her face among the hands, then the forehead had touched him, sweaty.
«I didn't want to frighten you, the door was open. but you macaws not well» it said in to low voice.
«I/you/they are gone out for a turn. but of to line not. The didn'ts succeed in driving anymore. The didn'ts understand anything, The feels me to die, Daf.» he responded to work, while he/she was leaving that its torch slipped among her hands.
«These are attacks of panic, it is not true? Does your psychiatrist know him/it? Are you/they giving you filths to pick up Bob?»
«It seems me that the heart is. coop for Daf to explode. help me, The pray you» it begged him while it was huddling him on the couch as it was to child.
You reached him/it, it tightened him/it to the breast caressing him the face; it felt his/her uncultivated beard among the fingers.
«You feel Bob, now tell me something of your car ride. What road have you done? I have noticed some jobs at the end of the avenue and to moments I broke me against a chart.»
He lifted the head of hit, for how much it cost him work to estrange from that body, that you/he/she had never thought about hearing again nearby so much. But the words of Dafne strongly had him/it incuriosito and it looked at her/it, with wide open eyes, as to understand if the girl the same taking around. You remained in silence, with the air of whom waited still for an answer. After some according to him taken back his/her position, leaned on her as a newborn on the breast of his/her/their mother. It began to tell her the turn that had done. More he/she spoke, more she asked minute details on the road, on the cross cars, on the passer-bys. It is more he responded, anymore the breath returned to regulate and the cold sweats were grown weak; up to that it stopped speaking fixing the void.
«You have studied psychotherapy in the meantime?» he/she asked Bob with a weak smile.
«I have read something on the strategic psychotherapy, I like a lot it. Move of the attention, seems me» she responded with a half smile.
«I am tired Daf» bofonchiò, while the eyes were made shiny «as you have done to find here you while I was being badly? Are you my angel, it is not true?»
«I don't know what I do here us; and if I think it I become crazy. It doesn't have sense, nothing of everything this has sense. I don't try anything of that that I should try. And this doesn't have sense.»
Bob rose and this time takings him the face of Dafne among the hands.
«I have to explain you so many things, Daf» it pronounced with conviction.
«How when you returned to tell me the atrocious death of your wife? God Bob, has still that same look. Anything both, as could I believe you? It is for this that doesn't have sense that I am here.»
He felt her/it wriggle out himself/herself/themselves, as him same ending the unexpected idyll of that moment.
«Daf you are here and cannot deny that this is an important sign! You have not been afraid. Be here with me. The know him/it not to deserve anything, but The wants to understand what Vanessa has told you and to finally tell you the whole truth! Without more lies. Don't I have anything to lose, don't you understand him/it?»
To that point Dafne nervously walked in the living room in front of Bob, been unarmed on the couch.
«Bob, is not alone this! Was everything rottenness! Besides your repugnant lies there have been all those.»
Dafne arrested him, the pain him riappropriava of his/her mind, again intense; it felt him as him same going out of the effect of a narcotic that had soothed his/her pain for the last mezz'ora. It continued with firm lucidity.
«You have made me live in a colossal deception for years! I don't know why and I don't know if I want to know him/it, but it is this way. Vanessa, your parents, your departed dirts. You have created a castle of papers, that I saw solid and strong. But what hurts is that besides the damage, I have suffered the prank of your aggressions and your anger, that I didn't deserve!»
Dafne was allowed to fall in earth in knee, beginning to cry and to throw out, finally in front of him, months of suffering and edge anguish
«Have never done anything to deserve everything this! I didn't deserve him/it Bob, I didn't deserve him/it. The wanted only to be happy!»
Dafne was howling those words in a crescendo of desperation. Bob had drawn near her and you/he/she tightened her/it to itself, from behind, while she kept on shouting how much you/he/she had loved him/it, as a broken disk. Bob cried together with her, silently, aware that at that time any word would have had sense. It kept on tightening her/it, waiting himself/herself/itself that from a moment to the other she would have escaped away, again. But Dafne stayed among his/her braccias, keeping on nervously stirring up to how worn-out, it didn't have strengths and tears anymore.
After some, Dafne was still stretched on that carpet in the middle of the saloon, with the superior part of the body among the winding braccias of Bob. He/she slept, while he caressed her the face, hoping that that moment never ended.
At three o'clock at night Dafne had a wince. It was on the carpet with a light quilt that covered her/it. Under to the head, the soft feathers of his/her old pillow. You turned and he/she saw Bob laid down on a side, next to her, perfectly awake, that looked her/it with the intensity that only its eyes were able of to transmit. You turned him on the other side, setting himself/herself/itself in front of him.
«I have slept a lot?» churches, still stunned.
>
«Yes, they are the three.»
Dafne had had the instinct to check that it had all the suits I set. That fear went to contrast with the innocent image that Bob had in that instant; yet, certain memoirs were engraved in his/her mind, as branded to fire. It was to few centimeters from Bob, the man that had feared to see again for months. It was the same man from which Moris protected her/it a sort of psychopath that had invented the death of a woman and you/he/she had crushed her for months. They were there now, extended to look at himself/herself/themselves. You the first evening had treated badly him and he had not done anything inconsiderate to hold back her/it. That evening had found him/it in a compassionate state and you/he/she had helped him/it. Few gestures, holding him/it among the braccias. Despite the whole wickedness lived among those walls, you/they were held narrow to story and they now looked him, aware that that silence and that peace would be ended soon.
«They say whether to fall asleep among the braccias than is someone the sign of greater trust that can be shown» it said him, timidly touching her hair «absurd you don't find?»
«Already. I have relieved so so much perhaps what time I am not afraid of that that could do me anymore.»
He looked at her/it, estasiato; the ambivalence of that situation was notable, she held him/it a monster but despite everything you/he/she had slept as a baby among its braccias.
«I can tell only you that I am trying to go out of it, to understand because those things happened and to take care of me. It hurts Daf, ago so much evil to accept to have a problem of the kind, and to have made you those things.» he/she affirmed him.
«It is for this that you have begun to have attacks of panic?» churches her, throwing on the head and leaning himself/herself/itself on the forearm.
«I don't know him/it, you/he/she can be. I have not talked to the psychiatrist of this thing yet. And now you are here and me. The feels I know strange. It is as if God had listened to these months' prayers.»
It made a brief break, perceiving her occhiataccia to the word" God."
«Not to look me so, I am not crazy! Be' not entirely» it said him mentioning a smile.
«God? Have you begun to beg God for me? If you were mister lie 2006 I would believe you.»
The two laughed had a good time, Dafne was stranita to have succeeded in making a wisecrack in a similar context. You/he/she had come her natural. It was stretched out of side to what had considered for a long time his/her jailer, a man that potentially it was dangerous for his/her same life, but they laughed together at that time, in the attempt to render less dramatic the enormous anguish that overhung them. They knew that of there to few you/he/she would have been necessary to make light on all of this that had happened, on the sense that had to be there, one of side to the other. And this began with a raw question of him:
«Daf, has thing happened when I/you/they have gone to London? I have need to understand» churches with steadiness.
«Apart to discover that your wife was alive and flourishing?»
«Yes, apart that.»
Dafne understood that the sarcasm was out by now place. Its expression frowned him.
«I am afraid to speak to you of thing has happened when you were in London.»
He grabbed his/her hands with decision and severe expression.
«Dafne I would not do you anymore of the evil! Don't speak so I pray you! You can now tell me everything. I know him/it that I have told you thousand times that I would not have you more beaten, and punctually I relapsed there. But it belongs to the past. and it is not only to psychiatrist to give me the strength to stop. You/he/she has been your absence to make to understand me. Speak to me Daf. The pray you, trusted of me, dark ounces.»
«And with Vanessa? Also to lose her had made you go crazy. So much to persecute her/it for two years or mistake?»
«To persecute? I want to understand if it is alone this that has told you» churches him irritated.
«Is clear that will deny his/her words Bob, is so obvious! I don't expect me for some that you can confirm; it is for this that to listen to sense doesn't have you!» sbottò her, going off standing.
«No Daf, this will be the moment of the absolute truths, because as soon as will go out of was also here forever, will do him/it knowing the whole truth! I swear you him.»
Dafne thought about the other thousand oaths of Bob and the word truth used by him, it appeared by now a contradiction on to be born.
«You feel Bob, tell me this nth truth, without worrying you about what I know me. Even also speak to me of that Thomas, of which I don't know anything.»
Bob to feel those smiled words, but it was a bitter smile, that withdrew him/it notably.
«You know, I have thought there, and in effects it was from stupid to think that the paladin of the truth was remembered to speak of the detail of Thomas!»
«Bob goes» on you/he/she specified Dafne, that had put on session in front of him tightening his/her soft pillow among the braccias.
«Vanessa and I are married there and initially we have lived in Siena. We were not here, as I had told you me. However, the marriage, asked shortly after her to transfer us to Milan. I wanted to make career and possession of his/her/their children. But I wanted to be away from my parents, with which I have never had a normal relationship. Your incomprehensions with your parents are cavolate in comparison to the grudge that ties me to those people.»
Bob labored to continue. It swallowed continuously, looking for a way to go on.
«Vanessa seemed to adore them instead, they were a lot of accomplices, above all with my mother.»
While Dafne listened to those words, he/she remembered the tone and the rigidity of the mother of Bob in the few wisecracks that you/he/she had turned her: Roberto doesn't have problems, himself is a big problem. And then it considered to the enormous hurry of Vanessa towards his/her/their ex mother-in-law: You don't have idea of thing has passed that holy woman.
«Vanessa was very influenced by my mother, and this thing irritated me. Then, an accursed day. The returneds home before the expectation from to course of updating to Florence. And I found my wife in the house with my cousin Thomas. Half-naked, in our bed.»
Bob had changed expression, you/he/she was visibly humiliated in to tell that detail. Dafne was devastated from I bewilder him/it.
«Thing? What devil.» it interrupted her, with the tone of whom could not believe in those last affirmations.
«Is this way! Are prepared to immediately go to Tuscany, together! All the people of that family of the cazzo knew him/it, also my mother knew him/it! But has not this told you him the dear Vanessa, true?»
Bob was standing, you/he/she had leaned the head against the glass of the window.
«How it is able a family, a mother, Bob to support a betrayal of the kind? It is impossible!» he/she asked Dafne with suspicious, timorous that those new truths were the nth depistaggio of Bob.
«You would explain better if I told yourself that that is not my mother? I/you/they have been adopted by the Chellinis, they are not their child. I have also stolen the whole documentation, if you want to have it confirms of it. You/he/she has beaten him to me in face when I was twelve years old. You/they have adopted me when they thought about not being able to have children.»
Dafne didn't know what to say. This time it didn't find words, neither good, bad tantomeno.
«Then magically, when I was nine years old, my brother was born. And from that day that woman has not done anything else other than to beat me in face how much reformed was not to have left me where I was! Of hit I was the degenerate child, that that was borne hardly. I was only a vivacious little boy, she has treated me for a life as the worse one of the iniquities! And that useless man of Chellini has never done anything, succube as you/he/she is of that woman!»
Bob had begun to cry a mixed weeping to the anger, that that story made him throw out. Dafne didn't know what to do, twisted from such revelation
s and at the same time frightened that Bob could have another attack of panic, or worse, of anger. In a sea of subterfuges and lies, its heart told her that that mortifying truth was authentic.
«Bob you come here and calmed. I won't listen more otherwise to a word.»
He reached her/it, as it was a little dog just beaten up. It looked at her dejected and after some deep breath it continued.
«Sofia knew about Vanessa and Thomas, and you knows what it did? Did it recommend her to leave me and to make himself/herself/themselves a life with my cousin; he was with the feet for earth, was it an advisor of success, a true Chellini, understands? While I was the failure dreamer, what wanted to make art and publicity! Vanessa confessed me that between Thomas and she it had been going on for months, covered by my mother. It tried to convince me that the ideas of my mother were true, that was a deluded without feet for earth, that she needed a done man and ended.»
«And from there thing has happened? Has you/he/she left you?»
«No. We tried to repair the things. I was prepared to forgive her/it. We transferred there to Pisa to estrange us from that mob, but it was an useless attempt. The first time that I found her/it in bath to the jail cell I slapped her/it. It was the first time that a woman touched, and I was badly to have done him/it. You didn't respect me anymore. In the turn of few it transferred here him with him to Milan. It is true, I have persecuted her for months, I wanted that it returned on his/her footsteps. I hated her for what had done me but I didn't want to lose her/it. I felt me a failure, as my mother said. I hated the fact that he/she remained with a true Chellini, I wanted how same with me, with Roberto.»
Bob drank some water, exhausted from that weary story. Dafne had seen a lot of him: anger, pretense, pain. But you/he/she had ever seen that devastated expression.
«Then the drop that made to overflow the vase was the discovery that a few months had failed before. He/she almost vomited him/it to me in face with pride, hoping that so I would have left her alone. In the uncertainty that that child could be mine, Thomas and she they decided to throw him/it street, without telling me him. It is to that nth stab lost the sense Daf. I brought her in my house, in this house, and I held her/it segregated a whole night. I was a monster, a true monster, a man that that stupid of mine and she. of Sofia, you/they had contributed created to. It escaped away then and to distance of a few months it arrived to me a letter with the documents of the divorce. If I/you had not signed them you/he/she would have reported me, and it added that my mother would have testified to his/her favor. Could you/he/she be my child, do you understand? I had never been a true child, and she had removed from me the possibility to be a true father to have my ransom. I didn't have to hurt her, I didn't have not to even do him/it to you, but. The wanted to true family, The have always wanted her Daf.»
«Bob you take a break, you drink something, I have felt enough and I want that you calm I now pray you.»
«No, I want to end. I owe. Only my brother had a minimum of humanity in this whole matter; to his/her way you/he/she was nearby me. It is a lawyer, and it followed my divorce. The last thing that told me after the sentence is that only the time would have shown to everybody that I could be successful, that a life could refer. And that I owed star away from our mother, because that woman would never be changed. Is regretted me to lose the contacts with him, but are prepared to look for him/it, so will tell you that is everything true! I would have so desire to feel him/it Daf. but The have never had the courage.»
Bob took a break, almost not having the strength to go over. Dafne was incredulous, it almost feared to approach him/it; but you/he/she could not leave him/it without a contact, that immediately concretized in a caress. He kissed her hand, not succeeding in checking the immense desire to feel a more intimate proximity. You to this were not ready. And taken the distances.
«Yes, we could call him/it, but it now interests me to understand because among us you/he/she has gone this way. In the job you have shown that you are the best, and with me you would have been able to have a sentimental ransom, did I love you and I respected you, whether not to confide you with me? Because all those crazy person inventions?»
«Daf, not to talk to the past I pray you, I cannot bear him/it!»
Bob didn't dare to ask her if she loved him/it anchor, you/he/she feared the answer more than every other thing.
«When I have understood that you could make indeed me try the love, I have made the accounts with my past, with my fears. Vanessa, Thomas, my child, everything! I had to restart afresh. I have decided that owed to know about the existence of Vanessa, but in our present she had to be dead, and with her I hoped to make to die all the humiliations and my inconsiderate gestures. Only telling you that it was dead you/he/she would have been a matter taboo. But then you kept on asking questions on my parents, on my past and me. The have felt in trap. There was always then that Morises present, every man and every situation they were for me a constant danger. I have poured again on you the whole hate and the whole disgust that I brought me inside, from when I/you/they were born. Abandoned by mine true mother, treated a merda by the Chellinis, his/her cousin with which he was grown my wife and her you/he/she was brought away you/he/she had killed a child that could be mine. Daf I didn't want, but I/you/they have not succeeded to.»
Bob jammed, the silence was spine-chilling. It seemed that it had been lasting for times, then resumptions to speak, seeking a well distant calm.
«I cannot tell you other Daf, if not that I am indeed only now ready to face all of my life. And I am also doing him/it for you, my love, for us.»
The heart of Dafne made a wince. To hear again again those words, my love, understood that that man still possessed his/her soul. Dafne remained in silence. You/he/she was embittered by the agonizing story of Bob, but it now seemed that finally the puzzle was complete. You/he/she could not justify Bob for what had suffered, but the excuses were notably incisive. Thousand questions consumed her/it but he anticipated him.
«They were these, the things that you knew?» churches him.
You responded only with the expression of the face, then it specified what he/she thought.
«Needless to say you of no. They were similar in some points, but I didn't know anything of Thomas and his/her child. The history of his/her/their child is terrible. And your mother. be', Sofia is undoubtedly to sick woman. I understand that you have lived with the constant fear of the abandonment, but I also know how much I have suffered me and. The don'ts know him/it, it is everything too confused, surreal.»
«Dafne I know him/it, and I have not told you these things to justify me. I want only now that you believe it, I/you/he/she believe indeed it. Me enough this for now.»
«You know that I believe you. Despite everything. It is maddish, but it is this way. And I am afraid of this, I am confused.»
«Also I am confused my love. And this thing of Vanessa torments me. Because after all these years you/he/she has returned to ruin me the life? For some verses I am happy that has put an end to the whole farce that I had created, but because you/he/she has looked for you? And as he/she knew of you and of the fact that I/you was alone here? You moved to Switzerland with that dog. Or at least this it was the last thing that I knew me.»
Dafne swallowed, now it was his/her turn; for how much it didn't feel him in the position to justify him, it was afraid in to tell Bob of his/her trip to Tuscany however. It picked up the ideas and it started to tell.
«Bob, has been me to conduct her/it to me, without knowing him/it. I was tired of your scenes, of your anger; you checked my life in obsessive way, I stayed with you because my love was stronger than every other thing, but it was time to react to look for explanations that you didn't want to give me. I was confided me with Moris. He has always respected me, you/he/she has never tried to do nothing before me and we left each other to you, and this I want that I/you/he/she am clear. When I have spoken to him of as the things they went, you/he/she h
as come to mind that going to your parents would have been able to understand there what it upset so much you. And so I have done.»
Bob made a grimace in sign of deep bitterness. It hid the face among the hands, left half open Dafne the eyes, in the memory of his/her violent reactions. But Bob drew near her, gaining that fear in the eyes of Dafne; he talked her to tone more checked possible.
«You have gone to them with Moris. The don'ts want to feel other. I hate me for this. If I/you had had the strength to face certain things you would never have done him/it. And I would not have contributed to make to become that man your hero. You/he/she has brought away you from me, another time has happened. and you/he/she has been only this time my guilt.»
Bob didn't succeed in looking at her/it anymore. Dafne oddly felt him emptied by that sudden attempt of distrust.
«Bob is not this the point. I am not Vanessa, have never been him/it! Moris has been the only point of reference in that period. Not that I have to justify me, but I don't want him to have guilts! You/he/she has realized that I was badly and you/he/she has helped me to make things clear in the only way according to which it seemed us possible. The rest has come later.»
«No, not to speak, prays you!»
Bob was uneasy, you/he/she seemed that the detail of its meeting with Sofia didn't interest him/it more; at that time it felt an ardent pain in to imagine Moris with Dafne, first in Tuscany, accomplices to its shoulders, and then in bed, where you/he/she had imagined them day after day, for months.
«I don't do what to think about you two, since yesterday evening. Dafne I don't make her/it. I have made some progress, I have trying to change and to overcome all of my failures. And I have decided to do only it because I was convinced to be able to return from you as a different man, a man able to manage his/her jealousy to manage the most beautiful thing that could happen me. But then I think about Moristani, I think about every time that I saw him/it how a threat, and to the fact that I/you was right!»
Bob was with the face hidden among the hands, a tear slowly the worn out expression outlined him.
«No Bob, is not this way! You have to put to place the things to put aside from me. Have you allowed too people to ruin you, and won't you be with anybody until well you won't be well with yourself, don't you understand him/it? I would never have left you for anybody, because I love you to the point to go crazy for you!»
Dafne again poured tears, tears that despite everything they had a less bitter taste, almost liberatorio, as liberatoria had been that admission scioccante. You loved him/it anchor, you/he/she had succeeded in telling him him, to tell him him. Bob reached her/it and their faces were grazed. They kissed, with almost violent impetus, it was as if they breathed after months of apnea. They didn't understand how much that kiss lasted. Any gesture had more sense, was as if their bodies didn't feel the dimensions of the time and the space anymore. He whispered her few words, interrupted; they panted, in the deepest kiss ever existed, that had darkened those data in a whole life.