Chapter 19
“I know, I know, I'm late. I'm sorry,” Ashley called as she rushed into the apartment. “The shoot went longer than expected and I only just made it to the store to pick up my dress before it closed.” She dumped the bags onto the dining table.
She had picked up a simple knee-length black dress, with thick straps and an elegant square neck line.
Steven poked his head out from the bathroom. He was dressed in only a towel wrapped around his waist. He had already showered, and judging from the specks of shaving cream left on his face, he had finished shaving. He didn’t look impressed. She knew this was an important night for him and she didn’t want to let him down.
“I’m so sorry, Steven. Any other day I would have been here earlier, but with the new position I couldn’t bail early. I’ll be ready on time, I promise.” She flashed her sweetest smile and watched as his angry exterior cracked and he smiled back.
“You'd better be.” He pointed at her and took off towards the bedroom to get dressed.
She took advantage of the empty bathroom to shower. It must have been the fastest shower of her life as she calculated the time it would take to dry and style her hair, get dressed, and do her makeup. She would be struggling to get ready on time, but she was determined.
She wrapped a towel around her hair and another around her body, moving to grab the box containing her dress from the table and scooting to the bedroom as quickly she could. She slipped on a strapless bra and some figure-sculpting underwear. Not that she needed it, but she didn’t want any visible panty lines showing under the fabric of the simple black dress.
As she opened the lid to the box she froze.
This was not her dress. It wasn’t even black.
She frowned and reached into the box, lifting the dress so she could get a good look at it. She recognised it instantly. It was the dress that she had seen in the photo shoot yesterday. She caught sight of Steven out of the corner of her eye. He was leaning on the doorway, dressed in his black tuxedo.
He looked every bit like a partner at a prestigious law firm.
“Do you like it?” He nodded towards the dress.
“Did you do this?” Ashley asked.
He nodded.
“But how? This dress hadn't even been released in the stores yet.”
“I called in a little favor from my old friend Dianne. She told me you couldn’t stop raving about this dress from the photo shoot yesterday. You interviewed the designer or something? It was lucky Dianne is a personal friend of that designer.”
Ashley couldn't believe it.
It had a Grecian feel to it, with several layers of lightweight chiffon in a golden blush color, with a dusty pink satin underskirt. Two thin golden string straps came together at the back and a length of sheer flowing fabric draped down from the centre seam. A long slit ran up to the thigh. It was fitted and sculpted across the bust with gold applique across the neckline.
The designer was from Russia and was taking the New York fashion world by storm with her unique and exquisite designs. It was a surreal feeling to know she would be wearing one of her dresses. Ashley slipped the dress on and was relieved it fit her so well. Which came as a shock, as she was nowhere near as tall as the model who wore it yesterday. With her heels on, the hem fell to the floor perfectly.
Ashley opened her jewelry box and pulled out her mother’s tear drop necklace, and began to put it on.
Steven rubbed his chin. “I’m not sure that necklace works with the dress. How about this one?” He handed her a long jewelry box.
Another surprise.
She opened the box to find several strands of pearls. She was touched by the gesture, but also disappointed that he preferred pearls over her mother’s necklace which held such sentimental value for her. But it wasn’t as though he knew it was her mother’s necklace, and if he wanted her to look a certain way for his big night, then she was happy to oblige. It was not about her, after all.
He draped the pearls around her neck and stood back to admire them.
“Perfect.” He smiled, then checked his watch, “Ash, you had better get your hair and makeup done quickly. Harry will be here in less than an hour.”
She managed to finish getting ready with time to spare.
They made their way downstairs. Steven was nervous, he had always hated public speaking. Ashley took his hand, intertwining her fingers through his.
“You’ll be fine. Relax and enjoy your night. You deserve it,” she said as they waited for the car to arrive.
Steven audibly let out a deep breath. “Easier said than done. Especially when I’ve got shoes as large as my fathers to fill.”
“Well that's true, but it's not like he’s retiring. He’s just taking a step back so you can step up. He’ll still be there to guide you along.” Ashley smiled, trying her hardest to help ease his anxiety.
“I just want tonight to be perfect,” Steven said.
“It will be. Don’t worry.”
“You said that when I went to Tokyo, and things didn’t exactly go according to plan then.”
She knew he was anxious and nervous—that was to be expected—, but she could do without the insults. It wasn’t her fault the Tokyo deal hadn’t worked out.
Her phone vibrated. It was a picture message from Bryan, a photo of their whole family pulling stupid faces. “All the best to Steven tonight —we love you.”
Ashley stifled a laugh as she looked at their ridiculous expressions. Even Harley had gotten in on the action and was pulling down his cheeks and poking out his tongue.
“Bryan and Jess wanted to wish you good luck for tonight,” Ashley said to Steven.
Steven nodded in acknowledgement, checking his watch and straining to see if his driver was nearby.
Harry arrived and they travelled the distance to the function centre in silence.
Harry delivered them to the bottom of the stairs leading up to the great hall entrance. They got out of the car, Steven waited for her as he straightened his tie. She joined him on the staircase and tucked her arm under his as they made their way to the entrance. Other guests were arriving, and the area was filled with clean-shaven men in black and white suits, and women in designer gowns and heels
It was like stepping into another world. Outside had been dark and noisy with traffic and the occasional siren wailing past. Inside was illuminated with warm glowing light from the many crystal chandeliers. A chamber orchestra provided background music, and the sound of chatter and laughter filled the room.
They were immediately handed champagne and Steven drank his a little too fast, hoping to take the edge off, perhaps. He took another glass, and scanned the room looking for his father and soon-to-be business partners.
An older gentleman touched Steven on the shoulder and smiled as he turned to greet the man. They shook hands and the older man congratulated him.
“Ashley, I’d like to introduce you to Dr James Fitzpatrick.”
The older man shook Ashley's hand and smiled. He had receding gray hair and wore thick glasses. He appeared to be in his late sixties.
“James was one of my professors in college.”
“It’s nice to meet you Dr Fitzpatrick,” Ashley said.
“Please, call me James,” he said. “I’ve known young Steven since he was a boy. Robert and I went to college together, if you can believe it.”
The night continued on with similar introductions. Ashley felt herself growing tired from smiling and pretending to be interested in every detail of the inner workings of the corporate world.
When it was time to sit down for dinner she was relieved. She didn’t think she could stand listening to one more person tell her she must be a lucky woman to have caught Steven’s eye. As though her only valuable asset was Steven.
The food was served by immaculate wait staff dressed in formal black and white. Everything was done flawlessly. The champagne was flowing, the music was heavenly, and no ex
pense had been spared on the décor. Several speeches were given throughout the night and Ashley’s mind wandered. At one point she slouched forward, resting her chin on her hand, elbow propped up on the table. But Steven motioned to her, letting her know that was inappropriate behaviour for such an occasion as this.
Dessert was a medley of pastries and fruits, and then it was finally time for the Cole, Irving and Paxton annual report. Robert and his two partners stood together on the stage thanking everyone and continued to discuss their advances and achievements for the year. There was no doubt about it, theirs was one of the finest and most successful boutique firms in the city, with an exclusive client list and a long list of international alliances. Robert then took the microphone to announce his departure as senior partner, ensuring he wouldn't be leaving the company but merely stepping back to allow his son to fill his place as senior partner at the firm.
There was a loud round of applause as Steven was asked to join them on the stage. Ashley was so proud of him. This was his moment, the moment he had been working for his whole life. Even his mother was there with her newest husband, clapping in delight. At least Ashley assumed it was delight—all that plastic surgery made it difficult to tell.
Steven took the microphone as the guests seated themselves. He began to thank the hosts of the ball and complimented the chefs on the quality of the food. He then went on to talk about the future goals and plans of the firm and what they hoped to achieve over the next few years as they continued to build their empire. Next he thanked his father and mother, and also Graham Irving and Michael Paxton, promising to strive hard and endeavouring to maintain the integrity on which his father had established the business all those years ago. Then that was it. It was over.
The crowd stood and applauded him again as the four of them left the stage. Ashley clapped and smiled but couldn’t help feel as though he had forgotten about all the sacrifices she had made over the past five years to ensure he continued to grow in his career. She felt unappreciated and, even worse, guilty for feeling unappreciated.
He returned to his seat and pulled her close, kissing her forehead.
“How’d I do?” He adjusted his tie.
“Perfect,” she replied, hiding her disappointment.
Once the speeches had concluded the guests took to the dance floor, moving to the sounds of the orchestra as the music shifted into more lively, danceable tunes.
Steven had left her alone so he could discuss work issues with men she had never even met before and Ashley sat at her table, staring into her glass of champagne and watching the tiny bubbles rise to the surface. They rose in a never-ending pattern, the same thing over and over again. The tiny bubbles could never escape their glass prison.
It was at that moment that it hit her. She gazed around the room at all of the faces, laughing and talking with their fancy dresses, their stiff, Botoxed faces and plastic bodies. She couldn’t help but feel she was like that tiny bubble, desperately trying to escape, believing everything would be all right if she could reach the surface. But no matter how hard she tried, she could never be free. It would always be the same. A constant struggle to rise to the top. She felt as though she were drowning. She had a sudden vision of her life in twenty years. Still with Steven, childless, unwed, and utterly bored with her life. A non-stop merry-go-round, filled with balls and dinners and endless days and nights spent alone with only her material possessions for company.
She had reached the pinnacle of all of her dreams and hard work combined—and all she felt was empty. It all became clear.
She had to go.
She stood up and retrieved her clutch purse. Steven walked over, seeing the dazed and confused look on her face. He reached out and wrapped his fingers around her arm.
“Are you OK?” He frowned.
“I . . . I have to go.” She tried to pull free. Steven wouldn’t want to cause a spectacle, and so far, no one seemed to have noticed.
“Let’s get you some water,” he suggested. “I think you've had a bit too much to drink.”
“Actually, I’ve only had two and a half glasses all night.” She didn’t feel intoxicated at all. In fact she felt the exact opposite—as if her head was clear for the first time in years.
“Ashley, you’re causing a scene. People will think—”
“I don’t care what people think!” Ashley pulled her arm away from his.
“I don’t understand. What are you doing? Are you mad at me?” he asked, creasing his brows together and pointing his finger at his chest.
“No, I’m not, not at all. I just don't want this anymore.” She waved her hand, gesturing at the whole room.
He looked understandably confused. “Well what do you want?”
“I want to get married.” She said it. And it felt so good to hear the words on her lips. Finally she had the courage to tell the truth, and was willing to speak the truth no matter what the cost. He frowned as though surprised by her admission.
“And I want children. Lots of children. Chaotic, messy, loud children.” She laughed, knowing she sounded crazy and completely out of character.
He let go of her arm and stood there, dumbstruck.
“And most of all, I want a gazebo. In a garden, where I can sit surrounded by my loved ones.” She smiled and her heart leapt with joy.
“Ashley, I can’t offer you that.” Steven spoke slowly.
“I know, and I don’t expect you to.” She placed her hand on his cheek and he kissed her palm.
“I am thankful for everything you’ve done for me, Steven. You are an incredible man and you deserve an equally incredible woman—but that’s not me. I think we both know that.”
She saw the realisation in his eyes and he nodded in agreement.
“Do you realize what you are walking away from, everything you are giving up?” he asked. “I could offer you a life of luxury.”
“I know you could. But I’d much prefer a life of love.”
Ashley could see from the expression on his face that Steven realized that she was right. If those were the things she truly wanted, then he wasn't able, or willing, to give them to her, at least not in the ways that she wanted.
He pressed his lips together and nodded.
“You understand, don't you Steven?” She raised her eyes to his.
They stood there for a period of time, coming to terms with the fact that it was over.
“Yeah, I do. I get it. I'm sorry it had to end this way.” He gave a thin smile.
“Don't be. We had some good times, some great times. But it’s time for us to go our separate ways.”
She smiled and turned to walk away.
“Ashley,” he called after her.
She turned and smiled up at him.
“Will you be OK? Where are you going?”
“I’ll be fine, Steven,” she said. “I’m going home.”