Inhaling the smell of real shampoo, I vowed never to take it for granted again. The thick lather between my fingers being massaged into my scalp was like heaven in bottle. Even Pea stayed in the shower longer than normal, and Pea hated bath time. For whatever reason once she turned five I had to fight with her to get her in. She went from not wanting out to not wanting in overnight.
After a shower and clean clothes we did a load of laundry and hung around the park, blending in with the rest of the campers. The cheap two dollar flip-flops were quite the treat after our feet being stuck inside of hiking boots for three days.
I still had no clue what we were going to do, but I knew one thing. The campground was just what Pea needed. We did eat cheap frozen pizza and Pea played the evening games with the rest of the campers. She played musical chairs, Red Rover, Red Rover, and she won at limbo. Her four year old height had a lot to do with that, but it didn’t stop her from boasting.
“I never won anything before!” She smiled, admiring the trivial little ribbon that made her day. It made my day too, “I’m going to hang this on my wall when we get back home.”
“Come on, let’s head back to the cabin with the real bed,” I coaxed, “We’ll hang it on that wall. Good job,” I praised with a high-five. I kept her hand and we walked out of the community center and into the dark night. We looked at each other and laughed when we yawned at the exact same time.
I opened my mouth, but held the words, letting her win again, “Jinx. You owe me a coke.”
“Dang. You’re always faster,” I teased and then stopped her before we got to the bottom of the wooden ramp. I placed my finger over my lip and pulled her around the corner behind a stone post. I knew that voice. How the hell did he find us?
Holding my hand lightly over Pea’s mouth I moved one eye to see Quinn. He was holding his phone, looking at a map while he spoke loudly on his phone.
“I’m not screwing with you dude. I told you she had to be behind some of the mountains. I’ve got the perfect signal. She’s within twenty feet of me. I’m looking right at the cabin she’s in. Number fifty seven.”
“Yeah, I got it. Don’t worry. I’m just going to park my truck and watch the front door until you get here.”
WTF? How the hell was he tracking us? There was something on us. Something led him right to us. Pea looked behind her shoulder and frowned. She knew we were leaving again. Damn. What the hell did we have? Quinn was tracking us by something, but what? What was it? If there was anything good about the whole situation, it was Quinn’s incompetence. He was easy to outsmart. If Ryan was coming for me, I had some time. Time for what, I had to figure out.
I pulled on Pea’s little hand and led her quietly to our cabin. To the nice comfortable bed we weren’t going to sleep in.
“What are you doing?” Pea asked with her hands on her hips, staring at me frantically, ripping our bags apart. I couldn’t find anything. Nothing looked like a tracking device, not that I knew what one would look like, but I did watch television. Where the hell could it be? We were just going to have to leave it all behind. I still had plenty of cash, for now anyway. We’d buy more clothes. Wait a minute. My head snapped to our shoes by the door. Nothing looked out of order. No tears, or tiny objects that might be tracking us. Where the hell was it?
“Pea, I have to rip Larry. I’ll sew him back, I promise,” I said looking to Pea while my fingers felt for anything inside of his long skinny arms, legs and tail. If he was infected, it was in his stomach.
“Okay, I have a needle and thread kit.”
“Of course you do,” Pea wasn’t lying. She really had a needle and thread kit. I ripped a small hole in Larry the monkey’s crotch while Pea emptied her pockets. A green whistle, a smashed but still wrapped fortune cookie, a Popsicle stick, blue gravel from fish tank, and a Tootsie Roll. Pea hated Tootsie Rolls. She said they made her teeth stick together and she didn’t want them to fall out. I pulled stuffing from Larry’s belly while she checked her other pocket. A big nut that she’d found walking to our little woods in the city, an egg of Silly Putty, the sewing kit, a Band Aid, and a hair tie.
Thank God Larry was on our side. He was clean. I shouldn’t have been surprised about that. Larry went through the wash—a lot.
“I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what you’re looking for,” Pea assured me, cocking her hip. Sometimes I forgot how smart she was for a four year old. “Maybe it’s inside the shoe, but what is it?”
“Pea, you’re a freaking genius. It’s a tracking device. See,” I said, holding up the tiny little battery like object.
“I told you I had something in my shoe. What’s that mean?”
“It means, this is the last time we have to run away, but we’re going to do a couple bad things.”
“Are we going to steal some more tubes?”
“No, and we didn’t steal them. We put a note on them and said thank you for letting us borrow them. We’ll do the same thing with a car.”
“We’re going to steal a car?”
“No, borrow. We’re just going to borrow it.”
“How? Where are we going to get the keys?”
“We’re going to go look for them,” I said, knowing about the bonfire down by the river. A lot of these cabins should be empty. There had to be keys. “Look, we both had them,” I said holding up the second tracker. The insoles of our shoes had been lifted and a tiny slice held the two little scoundrels that blew our cover. Once I was sure neither of us was sporting anymore tracking attire, we set out on another adventure.
I made a game out of it for Pea, hoping she wouldn’t relate us to being the bad guys. I didn’t think I could explain it enough to get her to understand that sometimes you had to do bad things. How did you do that without sounding like a hypocrite? We pretended to be looking for the key to a magic kingdom. A kingdom that would be full of color and magic. It worked and Pea told me how the magic kingdom was going to look in great detail while we dressed in the darkest clothes I could find.
Doing one more once over on our outfits, I checked for any foreign objects one more time, “Pea, we have to climb out the window over the bed. I’ll go first and then lift you out, okay?”
“Why? The doors right there,” I didn’t want to explain that either. I knew Quinn was watching the only exit. I did the next best thing.
“We’re pretending. We have to escape from the tower first.”
“Okay, we got captured and we have to tie sheets together to get out.”
“Awesome. Let’s go. You have to be very quiet, okay?” What the hell was I doing? I was supposed to be the adult, setting the example. I was teaching her how to sneak out windows and be a thief. This wasn’t how this was supposed to play out. We were supposed to be enjoying our little house with acres and acres of public land. We were supposed to be Jenna and Penelope. What happened to that? How the hell did that go south? I didn’t know who trust anymore. Nobody. That’s who.
The first cabin door was not only unlocked but the keys were laying on the little table too. Of course that was too easy. We walked the entire parking lot, looking for a vehicle that wasn’t there. We put the keys back and tiptoed around the dark cabins, searching for another unlocked door. I prayed the next set of keys worked. The emblem and sophistication from the key assured me it was a nice vehicle. One that wouldn’t break down on us until we got to, well, I hadn’t figured that part out yet.
It was easy to locate the expensive luxury SUV with soft white leather seats, navigation and a pulldown TV screen for Pea. She would love that. I locked the door back and we climbed back through the window. Still not taking chances, we left everything behind, except the two tiny devices that would find us.
Pea and I walked through the parking lot again and sent them to Las Vegas, Nevada. I dropped both the tiny objects between the rubber and the window of a truck that would take good care of them. That should buy us some time. Time for what was yet to be determined.
Seeing the twenty se
ven downloaded Disney movies told me I wouldn’t be hearing from Pea for quite some time. Heading East, I pointed us toward I-90. Wyoming was a nice place, maybe we’d see what we could find there.
Pea sat in the comfortable car seat and watched a full two hour movie before she finally dozed off. I hit the button and closed the TV in order to see her better through the mirror. She looked extremely comfortable. God. What the hell was I supposed to do? Help me out here, Mom.
Taking a deep breath, I turned on the radio and stared out at the four lane road ahead of me. You can’t plan the future. No matter how much I tried, my future planned itself. Over and over again. I thought about becoming a gypsy and drifting from place to place. Just stay on the run. Ugh! What the hell was I supposed to do? I was just about to go into another session of what if’s when Katy Perry had me singing about having the power, dancing through the fire and being a champion.
If there is one thing I have learned in my twenty short years it was perseverance. One thing I wasn’t was a quitter. I learned at a very young age how to be a fighter. If I kept going with my heart, I ran the chance of getting caught, going to prison and never seeing Pea again. If I stopped running, I would never know. I’d be a quitter and it would last forever. I was screwed no matter which way I looked at it.
My breaths seemed to sigh with the changing of every song while my mind came up empty handed over and over again. We couldn’t keep running. Reminding myself how I got into this mess led my mind to remember how.
It was all Pea’s fault.
***
Blake really did like me in fancy clothes. He couldn’t take his eyes off of me in the elevator ride to the penthouse. I was going to squash his hungry taste buds with a pair of shorts, a tee-shirt and sneakers as soon as I was in the house.
It didn’t work. Blake still stared at me with something I didn’t like. I tried to convince myself that it was nothing, that it was some dumb teenage hormonal thing, and there was nothing going on between us. It was all in my head and Blake wanted me for two things; to take care of Pea and keep him satisfied. That’s it.
“What’s wrong with you?” Blake asked when I kept getting up and pacing the floor. Holden knew exactly who I was, and he knew that Blake just lied to him. Would he keep quiet until I spoke up, or would he come to me? Maybe he didn’t know. No. No. He knew. I could tell right off the bat. He knew.
“Nothing. I just need to go work off some nervous energy.”
“I can help you work off some energy,” he offered with a smile.
“I’m sure you could,” I frowned, instantly feeling the pulsating between my legs, thinking about it.
Grace and Pea were home and ready to meet Larry downstairs. She talked on and on about the show. I felt a little sad for missing her excitement, but from the way Grace looked at her made me happy she got to experience it with her. I would take her to another one some other time.
Watching her with the paddle and the ball was just as fun. She was actually pretty good.
“Will you put that phone down? Can’t you see your daughter?” I said, yelling at Blake. He seemed to think just his presence was enough to get him laid. I’d show him.
“Yes, I can see her. She’s right there. What do you mean?”
I looked to see Grace turn her full attention from silly Pea, to Blake and me. “I mean see her. Really see her. Smile at her innocence, laugh at her silliness, go play with her, for God’s sake.”
“Larry’s playing with her,” he said puzzled. The guy didn’t have a clue. Not one.
“Forget it. You better check your messages again. Ryan probably wants you.”
“You can’t talk to me like this. I won’t allow it,” Blake protested, sounding defeated. He was defeated.
“I was only pointing out the cold hearted facts,” I confirmed and went to play with Pea. Grace smiled at me when I stepped around her.
“I like her,” I heard her say to Blake.
Blake wouldn’t admit it that day, but he had a good time. He had just as much fun chasing that ball around as he did shooting dart guns. I may have flirted a couple times on accident and he may have touched me more than he needed. That’s when I knew for sure something was going on. It wasn’t in my mind. It was real. I felt it when he grabbed me around my waist, trying to keep me from the winning point. We both fell to the floor, laughing. I looked down at him, losing my smile the same time he did. I swear he was going to try to kiss me.
“Cheater,” I accused and got up.
We spent the evening with Grace and Pea. Blake did work some, but I had to give him credit. He was involved more that day than I was expecting him to be. He even helped decorate the homemade pizzas with us. That’s what Pea called it when she wanted to decorate it. To this day we decorate the pizza.
I left Blake to spend some time with his mother and showered. Not only did I have to worry about Holden, I had this thing between Blake and me. And the sex. Oh my God. The sex. I showered, shaved my legs and did my hair. I couldn’t go all out and let him know it was for him so I dressed down. Not basketball shorts down, but short jean shorts down. The red knit shirt hugged my breast tight and revealed medium sized C’s rather than the actual medium B’s. The tag on my bra was different than the reflection.
I spritzed a tad bit of perfume between my breasts, just enough for him not to notice and applied a very small amount of makeup; enough for Blake not to notice. And again he did notice. I caught him gazing at me many times while we ate and listened to Pea jibber about our little patch of woods. I jerked my eyes from his so many times I was getting dizzy. I kind of had the feeling this was bad, but this was really bad. Oh and Blake commented on how nice I smelled, so much for conspicuous.
Thank God Grace read to Pea and put her to bed. My mind was too wound up to read even a preschool book. I cleaned up the kitchen and waited for Blake to shower and tell me it was time. I shouldn’t have showered yet. I could feel the perspiration every time I thought about it.
“She’s out. She had a busy day,” Grace said, taking the clean pizza pan from the drying rack.
“I’ve got this,” I said, trying to take it back.
Grace held onto the pan and stared into my eye with a warm smile, “Thank you. I’m so glad you’re here.”
“What? For what? You don’t have to thank me for anything.”
“Yes I do. I’m so glad you’re in Pea’s life. And I can already see a difference in Blake since the last time I was here. Keep on doing what you’re doing. I couldn’t pick a better person for my son and my granddaughter myself.”
“No, we’re not. Blake and I aren’t really, we’re just. It’s business. I work for him.”
“Okay, keep telling yourself that. I’m going to snuggle up with a good book. I’ll see you before I leave in the morning.”
“Okay.”
Twenty
I jumped at the text message, sending my phone to the edge of the island.
Blake—Come up here once my mom goes to bed.
I couldn’t move. Seriously? A text message? I made it to the fourth step before I chickened out for the third time. Maybe I should shower again.
“You’re not making progress, you made it to the fifth one the last time,” Grace informed me with crossed arms.
I moaned.
“Just go.”
I groaned again and darted up the steps. If I stopped I’d turn around. The same thing happened once I got to the top of the steps. I checked in on Pea, and tried two more times.
“Are you leaving?” Blake asked from the door when I turned to run for the fifth time.
“Oh, no. I was just. Never mind.”
Blake stepped aside and I entered, holding my breath. The uncomfortable quietness was almost painful. Blake was in jeans, no shirt, no shoes, and he smelled amazing. His chest was well defined with one small patch of hair right between strong pecks. There were no six pack abs, but there was no doubt distinct ripples. Way sexier than a six pack.
“What d
o you want me to do?” I unpleasantly asked, breaking the loud silence.
Blake laughed, and popped the snap on his jeans, “How about you start on your knees?”
“You mean put your penis in my mouth?” Well that’s not what I was expecting. Why I don’t know. I read in magazines how much men liked their BJ’s.
“We don’t really describe fellatio. Most of my girls just drop to their knees and do it. They don’t need direction.”
“I’m not most of your girls. I’m not even one of your girls. You agreed to let me do the extra things on my time. This is only the second time.”
“It’s fine, Makayla. I wasn’t expecting you to do it. Not for a second. We’ll get to that later, when you’re more comfortable with your body,” Blake offered, letting me off the hook. More comfortable with my body? What the hell was that supposed mean? It’s a good thing he was just testing me. I wasn’t going to do it. I turned my head and he kissed my neck when he closed the distance between us.
His erection pressed against my stomach while his hands trailed below my shirt.
“We’re not kissing,” I protested again when Blake tugged on my hair to look at him.
“Why?”
“Because it’s in our agreement. You have your rules, I have mine.”
“What can I do to overrule it? I’ll delete anything you want. We’ll trade.”
“No. Why do you want to kiss me? I don’t want this to be intimate. Why can’t you just do it already?” I felt Blake inhale while his lips returned to my neck and he gave up. My shirt was in his hands and his lips were on the crevice between my breasts. I sucked my lips between my teeth when the back of his fingers slid across my waist and to the snap on my shorts.
Blake didn’t hide his moan. He was very vocal. As soon as he felt the wetness between my legs his breathing was noticeably voiced. My body felt faint, but not like I was going to fall, more like I was going to float. I was responding to feelings that confused me. I wanted it like it was a drug that I couldn’t get enough of, but the sensible part of my mind screamed for me not to do drugs with a very loud exclamation mark.