Maye rested her head against mine. "When I awoke in your hospital room and you were gone, it killed me inside. Darling, you and Ash are my life."
I cast my head downward, ashamed.
She lifted my chin, brushed my hair behind my ears, and looked at my face.
"I'm sorry, Maye. Really, I am. Did you have trouble getting out?"
Her stare was disapproving, noting the change in the flow of the conversation, how I was steering it away from my reproachful behavior. "Josephine came to visit you. We located Liam's mother after we exited the compound and grouped together, searching for you kids. What were you thinking, wandering around alone after being poisoned?"
"I wanted to find Izzy. You looked so peaceful that I didn't want to wake you."
Maye's expression changed to one of understanding. "I see. You should have told me first, but given all that has happened since..." She sighed. "It seems petty to focus on that. I'm glad you're all safe."
"For how long? Those demons were after me; they'll come again and everyone should be far away from me when they do." My eyes flooded with unshed tears, my heart felt like it was tearing in two and all I could think was that I wanted to hold onto Maye until I was safe again. I needed her to tell me that everything would be okay and that we would always have one another.
"May I interrupt?" Josephine was standing in the doorway. We made room for her on the bed. It was a tight fit, but I didn't mind. "Have you been having visions?" she asked with a knowing look. "I thought as much; portents are in the air. It would be wise to pay attention to them. They might save your life."
Maye stood to stretch her legs and grabbed a book from her oversized wristlet. She preferred the miniature version of a purse to the real deal. "Here, Diamante said that this is about Izzy."
I pushed it away. "You should give it to her. She deserves to know about herself before the rest of us."
Maye nodded. "I will give it to her in the morning."
"Well, this is rather depressing. Here we find that all of our loved ones are safe and instead of celebrating, we're moping about!" Josephine's tone took on a teasing tone, as she looked up at Maye. "What did you think of Maloc? He has his eye on you." She waggled her eyebrows.
Maye's lips pursed in a disapproving frown. "Oh, quiet. I'm much too old to concern myself with men. I have no use for one."
"I can think of a few uses," I said, smiling.
Maye narrowed her eyes at me and groaned. "Now, Josephine, you're making a bad impression on Savannah. I don't want to hear any more of it. He was simply being a gentleman."
"It's just fun to tease you," I giggled, hiding beneath the covers when she tried to hug me to death, only coming up for air when I heard Maye and Josephine go back to their conversation.
Josephine sent me a conspiratorial look, a silent communication to help her antagonize Maye. Watching them bicker like an old married couple made me feel lighter. I was used to this; it was a piece of home.
Moments later my room was overrun by Willow and Izzy, pronouncing the downstairs as a silent tomb and telling us that the tunnels had become a bachelor's den. Ash and Liam had taken to the tunnels with most of the Draconians and were keeping Griffin company.
The thought of Griffin made me feel guilty about not visiting him. Truth was, I was afraid of what I might see. We’d nearly died together, and he still might. Somehow I felt I had failed him, as if his soul had been torn into the netherworld and I could have saved him, but had been too slow or frightened to make it in time. I could almost feel his fingers slipping from my grasp, his scream swallowed by the River Styx, while souls pulled him down into an inky hell.
My bed squeaked as Maye lifted herself from it. "Well, I think we best leave you girls to yourselves. We need more rest than we did at your age." She held her lower back, emphasizing the comment about her age.
"I don't know about needing more sleep, but I agree that it's best to leave the young to themselves. We would ruin your fun, anyhow." Josephine smiled, following Maye from the room.
Izzy shouted at them, "I thought you said that you're only as old as you feel!" They turned back with a smile.
My friends took to the bed. Izzy sat at the end to give her wings room to breathe and Willow curled up between us. We filled in the gaps since we had last seen one another. It felt like a decade had passed, but it hadn't been very long at all.
Willow squirmed, her habit when she couldn't find the right way to voice her thoughts. "We're all different," she said.
I smiled. "No, we're still us. We just have some new ... aspects. Besides, the changes aren't all bad. You're the big bad Hellhound – by the way, it's a little strange to think of bookworm Willow being an all-powerful Hellhound. Although, Izzy definitely gives you a run for your money."
"We're not the ones with the fate of the world resting on our shoulders." Izzy had meant it to be teasing, but all humor vanished from my face.
Willow and Izzy opted to room with me for the night. We were all reluctant to part after understanding of our doom had set in. Willow and I would share the bed since Izzy's wings would get in the way.
Archer, one of the Draconians, brought her a cot for the floor. It would allow her to sleep on her back without locking her wings. His visit was brief, but kind. He didn't direct animosity at Willow for being a Hellhound, and was kind to Izzy and me, insisting on making Izzy's cot up, and even fluffing the pillows for her. He wasn't like the other Draconians. His gray eyes were more subdued, as if life had grown tiresome. I wondered what horrors he had seen that had wrought such a weary gaze.
Izzy sat on her newly-made cot, ogling Archer’s back as he left. "Dying and being reborn really makes you appreciate the finer things in life." She tilted her head to watch, as he turned through the doorway to walk towards the main section of the cottage. "Do you think he'd notice if I started following him around?"
"Leave it to you to check out a guy at a time like this,” Willow smirked. “Besides, I'm pretty sure he's off limits."
Izzy rolled her eyes and shot back, "Like you didn't notice. And how exactly is he off limits?"
Shrugging, Willow's face scrunched up, mimicking the studious face she used when confronted with someone who didn't understand material. "He's a Draconian, and in case you haven't noticed, Draconians and Hellhounds don't mix. I'm not sure why, but it's probably a good idea to stay away from them."
"Uh, Willow, I don't think that rule applies to Izzy. She's not exactly a Hellhound. Plus, if you want to stay out of the feud, you might want to avoid making decisions based on them. Otherwise you're going to end up smack in the center."
"I guess. It's just that I want you guys to all get along. Plus, it doesn't help that I know next to nothing about the Draconians. This Hellhound thing should come complete with a manual." As she spoke, Willow turned pensive, holding the purple pendant around her neck and staring into a void about which I knew nothing.
Kit, seemingly irritated with being cooped up inside, chose to release some tension. He darted out of my body, stalked to Willow, licked her cheek, and laid his head in her lap. Absently, she gave him a few pats. A purr that clattered, like a muffler gone bad, rose from his chest and settled into an easy tremor.
"We will." I locked gazes with Izzy and she backed me up, repeating the same. "We should get some rest."
Willow nodded and soon we were tucked in for the night.
I tossed and turned, the knowledge of my destiny crippling any true rest that I might have gained. Eventually, the moonlight fell on my face and I gazed at the man in the moon, knowing he would protect me. My mind softened, drawing me towards a deep sleep, which made dreams inevitable.
One moment I was aware of Willow's frenzied movements and the next I had been chained to my dreams.
Asmodeus smiled down at me. "Now you know." We stood beside the window to my room, with Willow and Izzy. Our sleeping forms were undisturbed.
"Know? Know what? Are you talking about the prophecy? It's cryptic, I don't kn
ow anything."
He grinned. Pressing his palm into my cheek, he gazed at me gently. "In denial, my little Anakim?" He chuckled.
I slapped his hand away and moved backward. "It's not denial. The prophecy has many interpretations."
Asmodeus recited the prophecy – as if I needed to be reminded; it was engraved into my memories. He said, "What do you want it to mean?"
"I don't know. What kind of question is that? As if I have a choice. The fates have woven my tapestry. I'm simply the design, and a flawed one at that."
"Not so. The prophecy leaves you with a choice, and perhaps those flaws you're not fond of are your strengths."
I groaned. "Right, strengths. That makes a world of sense. Why do you keep showing up? You're slowly driving me insane!"
"You need me to. You're holding everyone at arm's length, but you can't push the dead away." Asmodeus pointed to Willow and Izzy. "Make sure they're ready; they, too, have crucial parts to play."
Horror grasped my chest, grounding my denial into a putrid mixture. "What do you mean? Why do you care?"
He laughed, reminding me that he was evil, even if this was only a dream. "Haven't you figured it out yet? Why do you think Izzy's spirit remained while my other victims passed on? She has a purpose, a destiny of her own."
"What about Willow?" My breath caught, awaiting his answer.
"A Hellhound who was born with a soul, but is now enslaved to Death...." He moved over to Willow, smoothing away hair that had fallen across her face, then he looked back at me. "Life is a game in which we play. She has power over Death. How could she not have a destiny?"
"This isn't right! The prophecy is about me. Leave them out of this!"
He looked at me with pity. "I did not cast the prophecy. This isn't my choice, nor is it yours. You must accept the inevitable."
"But you started all of this! If it weren't for you, Izzy would be human and Willow would be just a witch." I pleaded with my gaze, but knew there was no use. My friends were pawns in the game that pitted life against death.
"I had my own role to play, little Anakim. We all have our parts, but from now on you cast the dice. The cards are in your hand and you choose how and who to play."
Leaning back, I pressed my head into the cool glass of the window, absorbing his words. It was true that the darkness had followed me to Meadow Falls. It had festered for years, infecting all I came into contact with.
I was a disease, a filthy parasite who fed off the living. I was worse than my parents, because my mask was sewn on so well that I had fooled myself. I would never move past my childhood. It would stalk me, change me.
Turning, I sought my reflection in the glass. "I'm a monster."
"You're beautiful." Ash's rich tone drowned out Asmodeus and I swung around to discover that the demon had disappeared. Ash now stood in his place.
I snorted in disgust at myself. Ash was fooled like all of the others. "You only see what the evil in me wants you to see."
"S, you're not evil. You're capable of it, everyone is." Before I knew it, he stood in front of me, his face inches away, as he leaned inward. "The difference is that you would never allow it to take over. You're stronger than destiny or your past, and if anyone was born to save the world, it's you."
His eyes drew me in, tantalizing me with his sincerity, until his lips captured mine. I devoured the passion, allowing the dam within me to burst.
The room blurred, fading away until we were standing in one that was medieval in its splendor and terrifying in its contents. Our only companion was a solitary bed swimming in maroon sheets. Ash pressed backward until the backs of my calves were touching the frame of the bed.
I closed my eyes, savoring the brush of his fingers across my cheek as they descended to my shoulder and pulled the strap of my nightgown to the side. He deposited a kiss on my sensitive, forbidden flesh, lingering in dangerous proximity, and compelling me to pull at the seams of his shirt. Ash's lips savored my shoulder, trailing upwards to meet mine. His hand grasped my hip and pulled me closer with a blazing passion.
He pulled away from me just enough to allow my brain to break through the haze and process his words. "Do you love me?"
I shook my head in confusion, my voice refusing to obey my command, and I allowed my head to fall back, exposing my neck to his savage gaze. Ash's eyes lingered on my extended and vulnerable neck before he grasped it and pulled me up with an anger that was overpowered by lust. "Tell me, or I will have to go."
Silence greeted his plea. A shadow fell across his face to play with a strand of hair that had fallen over his eyes, but he didn't brush it aside. I could feel a draft travelling between our bodies to rest in the tiny area between our invigorated forms. The cold brought with it a measure of coherent thought that was extinguished the moment he began to back away.
"I see." The anguish he was enduring was palpable, and I could relate, because the moment he stepped away, I was alone, our intimacy still fresh.
"I...." My words died in my throat. I felt like a crushing glacier had solidified around my heart and was breaking apart what warmth I had felt moments before. "Don't go." My breath came in gasps, and I desperately tried to cling to the emotions coursing through my veins.
Ash was backing out of the room into the darkness that awaited him. What little light was left within me broke through and I cried, "Don't leave me."
I woke up with the words, you're not ready lingering. At first, heartache set in, until I reminded myself that it had been a dream. Ash hadn't left, I had simply woken up.
After my dream, I couldn't sleep and found myself wandering through a veritable ghost cottage, the Hellhounds and Draconians nowhere to be found.
I started poking around, attempting to find the way down into the tunnels. I wanted to visit Griffin and felt ashamed that I hadn't before now. Though, I admitted to myself, seeing him at death's door hadn't helped matters.
Some part of me believed that if I stayed away, it would mean he was okay, as if my presence alone was enough to send him soaring to his grave. Realistically, I knew it wasn't the case and I was being a crappy friend. I hoped that Calla had used her medicinal powder on his injury, because it had done wonders for mine.
Lack of success made me antsy, persuading me to give in and seek fresh air. Outside, the moon bathed away my pain, the scent of autumn cleansed away my worries, and the crackle of sticks beneath my feet was a familiar friend.
I knew I was breaking the rules, outside without a guard, walking into the forest, which was definitely outside of the boundaries. I didn't care. I knew that I was destined to save or destroy a world, which meant I would live long enough to see it through. What did it matter if I took a midnight stroll by myself? No one would know.
My feet started to grow weary of the rough terrain; slippers were not created for hiking. I stopped to rest against a large, mangled cedar tree. The cold ground seeped through the thin layer of my nightgown. Drawing my legs up, I tucked them beneath my robe, hugging my knees to my chest and closing my eyes. It was peaceful there.
"You could have done that at the safe-house." Startled by the voice, I jumped up, suddenly wide awake. "If you had, I could be resting in my bed right now instead of stalking you." Nicolai's voice was dry, absent of humor.
His hair was tousled and he looked like he had been thrown out of his own bed. He was wearing a pair of black pants, the comfortable kind that flowed with movement, but didn't do much to protect against the weather. He had on a white T-shirt, and only socks between him and the ground.
Noticing my gaze, he said, "I didn't exactly have time to get dressed. I sensed you moving farther away from safety and had to hurry."
"Sensed me? What do you mean? Can all of you do that?"
"No, the rest of them are ignorant of your reckless stroll through dangerous woods in the middle of the night. They're sound asleep, as I should be." He sat on the ground at the tree next to the one that I had sought shelter from.
"They can't, b
ut you can. Why?"
"You have my blood in you. I'll always know where you are. Why do you think I chose to be your guardian? Blood is power and you have mine." His gaze darkened, as if anger had set in at the mention of his blood.
I didn't understand why he would be upset with me. He was the one who had chosen to give me his blood. I hadn't asked for it. For all intents and purposes, I had been dead when he’d given it to me, and therefore could not be held responsible for his actions.
"I gave you life. The least you could do is cherish it. It's not as if we go around distributing our blood to every helpless girl."
I began to walk away. With a swift motion he stood and leapt into my path. "Not so fast."
"What? Now you want me to stay out here on this reckless stroll?" I was getting angry, something that seemed to be happening more often as of late. My breathing quickened as I tried to get hold of it.
Nicolai stood to the side with his arm across my abdomen, holding onto my waist, barring me from continuing. His gaze softened. "Why did you come out here?"
"I don't know." Taking a deep breath, I lifted my eyes to his and admitted, "I couldn't sleep; dreams. The cottage made me feel overwhelmed and…." I trailed off, afraid to voice my next thought. "Wouldn't it be better for everyone if some demon did find me? If there is a chance, even a minor one, that I could destroy the world, I can't fulfill that destiny if I'm dead."
"So, because you might do something horrible, you're going to give up? What if that is the choice that destroys everything? Maybe we need you to stick around long enough to save our hides." His hand tightened on my waist, turning me to face him dead on. "You want to give up, stop fighting, and lay down to be slaughtered? That prophecy is about someone with too much strength to allow herself to be at the mercy of fate. Am I wrong?"
Something broke within me, settled on my cage, and tore it down. I felt the bars crack, crumbling down around me until only their tarnished remains were left. Without the tiny hideaway, I crashed into emotions I had buried.