LETTER VIII
MISS HOWE, TO MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE WEDNESDAY NIGHT, APRIL 12.
I have your narrative, my dear. You are the same noble creature youever were. Above disguise, above art, above attempting to extenuate afailing.
The only family in the world, yours, surely, that could have driven sucha daughter upon such extremities.
But you must not be so very much too good for them, and for the case.
You lay the blame so properly and so unsparingly upon your meeting him,that nothing can be added to that subject by your worst enemies, werethey to see what you have written.
I am not surprised, now I have read your narrative, that so bold and socontriving a man--I am forced to break off----
*****
You stood it out much better and longer--Here again comes my bustling,jealous mother!
*****
Don't be angry at yourself. Did you not do for the best at the time? Asto your first fault, the answering his letters; it was always incumbentupon you to assume the guardianship of such a family, when the bravo ofit had run riot, as he did, and brought himself into danger.
Except your mother, who has no will of her own, have any of them commonsense?
Forgive me, my dear--Here is that stupid uncle Antony of yours. Apragmatical, conceited positive.--He came yesterday, in a fearfulpucker, and puffed, and blowed, and stumped about our hall and parlour,while his message was carried up.
My mother was dressing. These widows are as starched as the oldbachelors. She would not see him in a dishabille for the world--What canshe mean by it?
His errand was to set her against you, and to shew her their determinedrage on your going away. The issue proved too evidently that this wasthe principal end of his visit.
The odd creature desired to speak with her alone. I am not used to suchexceptions whenever any visits are made to my mother.
When she was primed out, down she came to him. They locked themselvesin. The two positive heads were put together--close together I suppose;for I listened, but could hear nothing distinctly, though they bothseemed full of their subject.
I had a good mind, once or twice, to have made them open the door.Could I have been sure of keeping but tolerably my temper, I would havedemanded admittance. But I was afraid, if I had obtained it, that Ishould have forgot it was my mother's house, and been for turninghim out of it. To come to rave against and abuse my dearest, dearest,faultless friend! and the ravings to be encouraged, and perhaps joinedin, in order to justify themselves; the one for contributing to drivethat dear friend out of her father's house; the other for refusing hera temporary asylum, till the reconciliation could have been effected,which her dutiful heart was set upon; and which it would have becomethe love which my mother had ever pretended for you, to have mediatedfor--Could I have had patience!
The issue, as I said, shewed what the errand was--Its fusty appearance,after the old fusty fellow was marched off, [you must excuse me, mydear,] was in a kind of gloomy, Harlowe-like reservedness in my mother;which upon a few resenting flirts of mine, was followed by a rigorousprohibition of correspondence.
This put us, you may suppose, upon terms not the most agreeable, Idesired to know, if I were prohibited dreaming of you?--For, my dear,you have all my sleeping as well as waking hours.
I can easily allow for your correspondence with your wretch at first(and yet your notions were excellent) by the effect this prohibition hasupon me; since, if possible, it has made me love you better than before;and I am more desirous than ever of corresponding with you.
But I have nevertheless a much more laudable motive--I should thinkmyself the unworthiest of creatures, could I be brought to slight adear friend, and such a meritorious one, in her distress. I would diefirst--And so I told my mother. And I have desired her not to watch mein my retired hours; nor to insist upon my lying with her constantly,which she now does more earnestly than ever. 'Twere better, I told her,that the Harlowe-Betty were borrowed to be set over me.
Mr. Hickman, who so greatly honours you, has, unknown to me, interposedso warmly in your favour with my mother, that it makes for him no smallmerit with me.
I cannot, at present, write to every particular, unless I would be inset defiance. Tease, tease, tease, for ever! The same thing, thoughanswered fifty times over, in every hour to be repeated--Lord blessme! what a life must my poor father--But let me remember to whom I amwriting.
If this ever-active, ever-mischievous monkey of a man, this Lovelace,contrived as you suspect--But here comes my mother again--Ay, stay alittle longer, my Mamma, if you please--I can but be suspected! I canbut be chidden for making you wait; and chidden I am sure to be, whetherI do or not, in the way you, my good Mamma, are Antony'd into.
Bless me! how impatient she is! How she thunders at the door! Thismoment, Madam! How came I to double-lock myself if! What have I donewith the key! Duce take the key! Dear Madam! You flutter one so!
*****
You may believe, my dear, that I took care of my papers before I openedthe door. We have had a charming dialogue--She flung from me in apassion--
So--What's now to be done? Sent for down in a very peremptory manner,I assure you. What an incoherent letter will you have, when I get itto you! But now I know where to send it, Mr. Hickman shall find me amessenger. Yet, if he be detected, poor soul, he will be Harlowed-off,as well as his meek mistress.
THURSDAY, APRIL 13.
I have this moment your continuation-letter. And am favoured, atpresent, with the absence of my Argus-eyes mother.--
Dear creature! I can account for all your difficulties. A young lady ofyour delicacy!--And with such a man!--I must be brief----
The man's a fool, my dear, with all his pride, and with all hiscomplaisance, and affected regards to your injunctions. Yet his readyinventions----
Sometimes I think you should go to Lady Betty's. I know not what toadvise you to do.--I should, if you were not so intent upon reconcilingyourself to your relations. Yet they are implacable. You can have nohopes of them. Your uncle's errand to my mother may convince you ofthat; and if you have an answer to your letter to your sister, that willconfirm you, I dare say.
You need not to have been afraid of asking me, Whether upon reading yournarrative, I thought any extenuation could lie for what you have done! Ihave, as above, before I had your question, told you my mind as to that.And I repeat, I think, your provocations and inducements considered,that ever young creature was who took such a step.
But you took it not--You were driven on one side, and, possibly, trickedon the other.--If any woman on earth shall be circumstanced as you were,and shall hold out so long as you did, against her persecutors on onehand, and her seducer on the other, I will forgive her for all the restof her conduct, be it what it will.
All your acquaintance, you may suppose, talk of nobody but you. Someindeed bring your admirable character for a plea against you: but nobodydoes, or can, acquit your father and uncles.
Every body seems apprized of your brother's and sister's motives. Yourflight is, no doubt, the very thing they aimed to drive you to, by thevarious attacks they made upon you; unhoping (as they must do all thetime) the success of their schemes in Solmes's behalf. They knew, thatif once you were restored to favour, the suspended love of your fatherand uncles, like a river breaking down a temporary obstruction, wouldreturn with double force; and that then you would expose, and triumphover all their arts.--And now, I hear they enjoy their successfulmalice.
Your father is all rage and violence. He ought, I am sure, to turn hisrage inward. All your family accuse you of acting with deep art; and areput upon supposing that you are actually every hour exulting over them,with your man, in the success of it.
They all pretend now, that your trial of Wednesday was to be the last.
Advantage would indeed, my mother owns, have been taken of youryielding, if you had yielded. But had you not been prevailed upon, theywould have given up their scheme, and taken your promise for renounc
ingLovelace--Believe them who will!
They own, however, that a minister was to be present--Mr. Solmes wasto be at hand--And your father was previously to try his authority overyou, in order to make you sign the settlements--All of it a romanticcontrivance of your wild-headed foolish brother, I make no doubt. Isit likely that he and Bell would have given way to your restoration tofavour, supposing it in their power to hinder it, on any other termsthan those their hearts had been so long set upon?
How they took your flight, when they found it out, may be bettersupposed than described.
Your aunt Hervey, it seems, was the first that went down to the ivysummer-house, in order to acquaint you that their search was over.Betty followed her; and they not finding you there, went on towards thecascade, according to a hint of yours.
Returning by the garden-door, they met a servant [they don't say, it wasJoseph Leman; but it is very likely that it was he] running, as he said,from pursuing Mr. Lovelace (a great hedge-stake in his hand, and out ofbreath) to alarm the family.
If it were this fellow, and if he were employed in the double agency ofcheating them, and cheating you, what shall we think of the wretch youare with? Run away from him, my dear, if so--no matter to whom--or marryhim, if you cannot.
Your aunt and all your family were accordingly alarmed by thisfellow--evidently when too late for pursuit. They got together, and whena posse, ran to the place of interview; and some of them as far as tothe tracks of the chariot wheels, without stopping. And having heard theman's tale upon the spot, a general lamentation, a mutual upbraiding,and rage, and grief, were echoed from the different persons, accordingto their different tempers and conceptions. And they returned like foolsas they went.
Your brother, at first, ordered horses and armed men to be got ready fora pursuit. Solmes and your uncle Tony were to be of the party. But yourmother and your aunt Hervey dissuaded them from it, for fear of addingevil to evil; not doubting but Lovelace had taken measures to supporthimself in what he had done; and especially when the servant declared,that he saw you run with him as fast as you could set foot to theground; and that there were several armed men on horseback at a smalldistance off.
*****
My mother's absence was owing to her suspicion, that the Knolly's wereto assist in our correspondence. She made them a visit upon it. She doesevery thing at once. And they have promised, that no more letters shallbe left there, without her knowledge.
But Mr. Hickman has engaged one Filmer, a husbandman in the lane we callFinch-lane, near us, to receive them. Thither you will be pleased todirect yours, under cover, to Mr. John Soberton; and Mr. Hickman himselfwill call for them there; and there shall leave mine. It goes against metoo, to make him so useful to me. He looks already so proud upon it!I shall have him [Who knows?] give himself airs--He had best consider,that the favour he has been long aiming at, may put him into avery dangerous, a very ticklish situation. He that can oblige, maydisoblige--Happy for some people not to have it in their power tooffend!
I will have patience, if I can, for a while, to see if these bustlingsin my mother will subside--but upon my word, I will not long bear thisusage.
Sometimes I am ready to think, that my mother carries it thus on purposeto tire me out, and to make me the sooner marry. If I find it to be so,and that Hickman, in order to make a merit with me, is in the low plot,I will never bear him in my sight.
Plotting wretch, as I doubt your man is, I wish to heaven that youwere married, that you might brave them all, and not be forced to hideyourself, and be hurried from one inconvenient place to another. Icharge you, omit not to lay hold on any handsome opportunity that mayoffer for that purpose.
Here again comes my mother--
*****
We look mighty glum upon each other, I can tell you. She had not bestHarlowe me at this rate--I won't bear it.
I have a vast deal to write. I know not what to write first. Yet my mindis full, and ready to run over.
I am got into a private corner of the garden, to be out of herway.--Lord help these mothers!--Do they think they can prevent adaughter's writing, or doing any thing she has a mind to do, bysuspicion, watchfulness, and scolding?--They had better place aconfidence in one by half--A generous mind scorns to abuse a generousconfidence.
You have a nice, a very nice part to act with this wretch--who yet has,I think, but one plain path before him. I pity you--but you mustmake the best of the lot you have been forced to draw. Yet I see yourdifficulties.--But, if he do not offer to abuse your confidence, I wouldhave you seem at least to place some in him.
If you think not of marrying soon, I approve of your resolution to fixsomewhere out of his reach. And if he know not where to find you, somuch the better. Yet I verily believe, they would force you back, couldthey but come at you, if they were not afraid of him.
I think, by all means, you should demand of both your trustees to be putin possession of your own estate. Mean time I have sixty guineas at yourservice. I beg you will command them. Before they are gone, I'll takecare you shall be further supplied. I don't think you'll have a shillingor a shilling's worth of your own from your relations, unless you extortit from them.
As they believe you went away by your own consent, they are, it seems,equally surprised and glad that you have left your jewels and moneybehind you, and have contrived for clothes so ill. Very littlelikelihood this shews of their answering your requests.
Indeed every one who knows not what I now know, must be at a loss toaccount for your flight, as they will call it. And how, my dear, canone report it with any tolerable advantage to you?--To say, you did notintend it when you met him, who will believe it?--To say, that a personof your known steadiness and punctilio was over-persuaded when you gavehim the meeting, how will that sound?--To say, you were tricked out ofyourself, and people were given credit to it, how disreputable!--Andwhile unmarried, and yet with him, the man a man of such a character,what would it not lead a censuring world to think?
I want to see how you put it in your letter for your clothes.
As you may depend upon all the little spiteful things they can offer,instead of sending what you write for, pray accept the sum that Itender. What will seven guineas do?--And I will find a way to send youalso any of my clothes and linen for present supply. I beg, my dearClarissa, that you will not put your Anna Howe upon a footing withLovelace, in refusing to accept of my offer. If you do not oblige me, Ishall be apt to think you rather incline to be obliged to him, than tofavour me. And if I find this, I shall not know how to reconcile it withyour delicacy in other respects.
Pray inform me of every thing that passes between you and him. My caresfor you (however needless, from your own prudence) make me wish you tocontinue to be every minute. If any thing occur that you would tell meof if I were present, fail not to put it down in writing, althoughfrom your natural diffidence, it should not appear to you altogether soworthy of your pen, or my knowing. A stander-by may see more of the gamethan one that plays. Great consequences, like great folks, generally owetheir greatness to small causes, and little incidents.
Upon the whole, I do not now think it is in your power to dismiss himwhen you please. I apprized you beforehand, that it would not. Irepeat, therefore, that were I you, I would at least seem to placesome confidence in him. So long as he is decent, you may. Very visiblyobservable, to such delicacy as yours, must be that behaviour in him,which will make him unworthy of some confidence.
Your relations, according to what old Antony says to my mother, and sheto me, (by way of threatening, that you will not gain your supposed endsupon them by your flight,) seem to expect that you will throw yourselfinto Lady Betty's protection; and that she will offer to mediatefor you. And they vow, that they will never hearken to any terms ofaccommodation that shall come from that quarter; for I dare aver, thatyour brother and sister will not let them cool--at least, till theiruncles have made such dispositions, and perhaps your father too, as theywould have them make.
As this letter
will apprize you of an alteration in the place to whichyou must direct your next, I send it by a friend of Mr. Hickman, who maybe depended upon. He has business in the neighbourhood of Mrs. Sorlings;and he knows her. He will return to Mr. Hickman this night; and bringback any letter you shall have ready to send, or can get ready. It ismoon-light. He'll not mind waiting for you. I choose not to send by anyof Mr. Hickman's servants--at present, however. Every hour is now,or may be, important; and may make an alteration in your resolutionsnecessary.
I hear at this instant, my mother calling about her, and putting everybody into motion. She will soon, I suppose, make me and my employmentthe subjects of her inquiry.
Adieu, my dear. May heaven preserve you, and restore you with honour asunsullied as your mind to
Your ever affectionate ANNA HOWE.