Rene wasn’t like Charlie; actually, I’m almost certain that they are almost complete opposites. So it was easy to convince her that it was for the best that I live with the Cullen’s for a while. This of course had annoyed Charlie, but he stuck to his agreement.
I was ready to be dismissed to the Cullen’s house, Charlie would be dropping off all my things, and Edward’s family had a room all ready for me to move in.
Things seemed to be going great so far. I just couldn’t wait to finally get some alone time with Zander.
I wasn’t sure how long it would take for me to become completely in control of my thirst. Edward told me it could take months, or years, it just all depended on me, and how well I can get a hold of myself. I already had nearly lost control today, when Rene had come into the room. There was just… so much blood in that room; I could feel the heart beats.
Shaking my head, I pushed those thoughts away, focusing my eyes down at Zander, who was hungrily sucking on the bottle of baby formula.
I would never be able to explain how much I loved this little angel; there was no amount of words that could ever be enough to explain.
Half of me was conscious of Edward sitting just inches from me, a smooth confidence on his face as he drove down the road, seeming to be lost in his own thoughts for a while. So I let him think, not wanting to spoil his peace and quiet.
We were on our way to his house right now; where I would be living for a very long time... there was no denying that I was extremely nervous to meet Edward’s family. I mean, they were all vampires, all gorgeous, and perfect like he was, that much had to be true, so of course I would be standing out.
Hopefully Zander and I won’t be too much trouble for them, Zander after all was human, and even at this moment I couldn’t forget for a second that his blood was flowing through him, his little heart beat pounding away in his delicate chest.
“Bella, are you ok?” Edward’s voice surprised me as it ended the peaceful silence between the two of us.
I looked over to him with a slight smile, slowly pulling the bottle away from Zander as he finished the last of his formula.
“I’m fine, why do you ask?”
“You just seemed anxious, you aren’t nervous to meet my family are you?” He wondered, his eyes searching my expression.
“A bit, I don’t want to be a burden,” I admitted glancing away from his intense stare.
He shook his head, “You’re not going to be a burden; my family is all very excited to meet you,”
This I had to find hard to believe. No one ever really noticed that I was alive before I had gotten pregnant. I truly hated the extra attention that had come with this pregnancy, but at least that part was over. There was no longer a reason for anyone to be eager to be around me.
I nodded regardless, keeping my smile on my face as I looked down at Zander, who was squirming around in my arms, looking around at everything, but his eyes seemed to be closing slowly.
“What are you thinking right now?” Edward asked after a pause.
I glanced over to him, pausing before answering. “I just was wondering why your family was eager to see me.”
“Ah, well Bella, they really are sympatric, after hearing about your pregnancy, then being turned… and having to raise this child alone, they really look up to you for your braveness through all of this,” Edward spoke, a trace of guilt in his voice.
I couldn’t help but smile at this, stroking Zander’s cheek as he fell asleep.
“This little guy is what kept me going through it all,” For an instance I braced myself for the possibility of embarrassment, then added, “And you to,”
Edward looked to me, a smile of his own on his face, but the slight melancholy gloom in his features suggested that he still was feeling guilty for turning me. But I really did understand, I knew how it felt to be in a room with a lot of blood, the pain, and I probably would have done the exact same.
“It was the least I could do, after dooming you for the rest of your life to this,” He spoke, his eyes dancing back to the road.
“I’m not doomed to anything but happiness with my son, and that’s all that I could have ever asked for,”
He shook his head, “You don’t know all of the things you are now forced to give up Bella, you surely will hate me for eternity… but I truly deserve it.”
“What will I be missing out on?”
Reluctance now took over his form as he glanced over to me.
“You will no longer age, you’re trapped in this age physically for the rest of your life,” He spoke quietly, and kept his eyes away from mine as he did so.
“That’s great, what woman wants to get older anyway, plus now I will be able to care of my Zander even when he becomes an old man,” I chuckled lightly.
Edward sighed, giving me a look, “You won’t be able to conceive, ever again,”
“Good thing I have Zander, he is all I need,” I smiled, watching down at my sleeping baby. “Is that all?”
“You won’t be able to eat human food, all your friends and family, they will die as life goes on, but you will be left behind, unchanging,”
“Good thing the only friend I have is a vampire, and I truly am most worried about Charlie, Rene has Phil, but when Charlie finds someone, everything will be ok,”
Edward shook his head looking at me, “Bella this really isn’t the kind of life you should be ok with,”
“But it is, and even if I wasn’t ok with all of this, would it matter, there is no way out of it now, so what’s the point in focusing on all the bad points?”
He was now silent, taking in my words, and after a while he smiled a bit.
“So you consider us friends,”
Embarrassment tickled at me, realizing that I had let that slip.
“Uhm, yeah, I mean you saved my life, and Zander’s. Plus you really haven’t left my side since the delivery.”
“I feel… very protective, of you,” He admitted, a serious expression painting his face as he looked over at me.
A strange squeeze in my stomach made me freeze as I watched back at Edward.
Why did he have to say things like this to me? It made it very hard to just think of him as a friend.
Of course I knew I was lying to myself. I knew whatever it was I felt for Edward, was much more than a friendship. It was just a silly high-school crush. That’s what I continued to try and tell myself. There was no reason for me to go all weak and spineless for a guy that I barely knew.
“You know, sometimes vampires are created, that have an extra ability, a gift,” Edward spoke breaking the silence yet again.
I peeked over to him in curiosity, “A gift, like what?”
“Well for example, I can read thoughts of those around me,” He said watching me very carefully.
I felt my jaw drop instantly, feeling complete embarrassment roll down through me.
He could hear every single thing I had ever thought about him… oh god, why hasn’t he said anything about it, or at least tried to ruin my confidence by telling me that my feelings weren’t ever going to matter to him.
“You mean you…” I spoke, but couldn’t manage to get the words out.
“No, I mean, I can read everyone’s mind, except for yours,”
Relief filled me quickly, and I sighed.
That was a close one…
“Oh… why do you think that is?” I wondered, a slight nervousness hitting me.
What if there really was something wrong with me?
Edward shook his head slowly, “I have no idea; I can hear Zander’s perfectly fine, it doesn’t make sense,”
My eyes brightened, “You can hear him?” I asked looking down at Zander with awe.
“Yes, he’s dreaming right now, all I can see is your image… and mine”
This only made me smile more.
Zander knew that Edward and I had been around more than anyone else, so of course, he would be dreaming of the t
wo of us. It was just the most amazing thought in the world.
Gently I stoked the light patch of brown fuzz at the top of his head.
I went to say more, but as the car came to an abrupt stop I paused, and looked up to see the most beautiful house I had ever laid eyes on.
Looking back to Edward, I watched as he met my gaze with a chuckle. “Welcome home,”
Edward’s Point of View
As soon as Bella had set foot inside the house, thoughts came buzzing to me.
I can’t wait, we need to go shopping; Bella is going to need a whole new wardrobe if she is going to be my new sister. Alice thought, and like I had predicted she was the first one to come greet us.
“Bella, welcome!” She smiled, and bounced over, giving her a one armed hug, careful not to bump Zander as she did so.
Bella seemed to freeze in surprise, but she hugged Alice gently, appearing to have remembered she was much stronger than the rest of us right now.
“This is my sister Alice,” I said nodding to Bella as she glanced at me.
“Nice to meet you Alice,” Bella smiled as Alice let her go, taking a step back to look over Bella.
She is beautiful, isn’t she Edward?
I made sure to keep my expression blank as Alice’s thoughts began to push at me.
Of course she was, there was no denying this, but she deserved so much better than what I could ever offer her.
“I’m so glad you’re here, it’s going to be great, and this must be little Zander,” Alice beamed looking down at Zander, who was looking around quietly.
Bella nodded watching her son proudly, “Yeah, wanna say hi to Alice,” She cooed to Zander.
The child looked up at Bella, and a bright smile lighted his face, giggling, but not looking away from her for one second.
It was clear, not only in his thoughts but in his actions, that he loved Bella a lot. It was so obvious, and so heart-warming. It was the quality that I liked most about little Zander, he was like his mother; he had a bit heart.
But then a thought came to me.
Who was this little guy’s father? There was not one sign of him in the hospital when the delivery had happened; there was no communication to Bella from anyone except for her family. Why had I not noticed this earlier?
Ok, I need to see this baby. Rose’s thoughts sounded, and in seconds she appeared at the top of the stairs, Emmett following behind her with his usual goofy grin.
Bella looked up to them as they made their way down to us, her stance becoming more protective as she took in Emmett’s size. It was obvious that her motherly instincts were just as sharp as ever. She sensed the possible threat, why hadn’t she sensed the threat that I had when we had first met?
Rose however noticed, and met Bella’s gaze with a knowing smile, patting Emmett, before moving in front to slowly walk to Bella and Zander.
“This is Rose, and Emmett,” I spoke up, hoping to relax Bella just slightly as I rested my hand on her shoulder.
That’s right Edward; don’t be afraid to get closer to her. Alice thought watched between everyone with eager smiles.
I wanted to roll my eyes at this. But I resisted the urge, as I noticed that my touch did seem to calm Bella down enough for her to relax her stance a bit.
Rose snapped a glare in my direction. You have no right to touch her ever again after what you did to her.
My hand fell down to my side now, looking down at the floor.
I knew she was right… I really didn’t deserve to even be around Bella, I still don’t know how I can ever live with myself knowing what I had done to her.
“It’s nice to meet the both of you,” Rose spoke kindly, which I had to admit, I wasn’t used to hear at all from her.
Bella smiled, “It’s nice to meet you to Rose,”
“Don’t worry about Emmett, he’s big, but he’s the sweetest guy you could ever meet,” Rose whispered to Bella with a grin.
Emmett now was behind Rose, his arms going around her, a playful growl falling off his lips. “Hey, don’t make me sound like a complete push-over, she’s new, I’m supposed to be the feared one,” His booming laugh bouncing around the room.
Bella laughed quietly, now seeming completely relaxed.
Zander made a small babble, smiling as he looked around at each of my siblings, seeming to be highly amused by all of this.
Esme, and Carlisle are in Port Angles, picking up things for Zander’s room, and Jazzy is out hunting… he wanted to make sure he would be ok around the baby. Alice thought as she bounced in place.
I nodded silently, and smiled, turning towards Bella. “Would you like a tour of the house?”
She nodded eagerly, “Yeah, this place is huge,”
“Um, I know you just got here and all, but… would it be too much to ask, if I could hold Zander?” Rose asked before I could make a move.
Bella paused, but nodded with a gentle smile. “Of course,” Slowly she handed Zander over to Rose, her eyes staying locked on him as Rose cradled him.
“Oh my goodness, you are so precious,” Rose cooed watching down at Zander with awe.
Why can’t you be mine? Her thoughts echoed jealousy.
I frowned, wanting to say something, but not wanting to upset Bella in any way.
Everyone knew Rose had wanted a baby for a long time, even when she was human this is all that she had ever wanted. So it made sense that she was jealous. Not only was Bella more beautiful, she always had an amazing child of her very own.
Rose sure looks happy… just wish I could be able to give her something like this. Emmett thought, looking down. For once his thoughts were actually serious.
Zander didn’t look very comfortable in Rose’s arms, he continued to look back at Bella, and squirm a lot, but he didn’t make a sound. It was obvious that he didn’t like to be away from his mother.
“He is a beautiful baby Bella, he must have inherited some good genes,” Alice grinned watching between Bella and Zander.
Bella paused, seeming to force a smile as she looked over to Alice.
“I don’t know if I would say that,” She spoke quietly, her eyes casting down to the ground.
At this instant I was moving closer to her, without even thinking I was again stroking her shoulder.
Get some Eddie. Emmett thought in amusement.
I struggled not to growl at this as I shot him a death gaze.
Couldn’t he see that I was just comforting her, I didn’t want to see her sad, ever, if I could help it, I would make sure that no matter what, she gets whatever her heart desires.
“Is something wrong?” Rose asked, slowly rocking Zander back and forth as she watched Bella, throwing me a dirty look.
“No, I was just… Zander’s father… just isn’t the kind of person, that I want him to inherit genes from,” Bella said quietly.
I wonder what she is talking about; I haven’t really gotten any visions about the father of the baby, ever. Alice wondered.
See, she is even single, perfect for Eddie. Emmett thought, his eyes staying away from everyone except for Rose and Zander.
Whoever the pig is has a lot of nerve to leave a girl pregnant, and just ditch her. Rose thought with an edge of anger to her thoughts.
“Who is the father, I mean… not to sound rude, but he hasn’t been around or anything,” Alice spoke up gently.
“I’m not sure who he is… I’ve only met him once… at night… in an alley,” Bella spoke slowly, keeping her eyes on the ground.
What?! Don’t tell me she was… raped…Rose thought enraged.
Oh my god, poor Bella. Emmett thought frowning, as he seemed to sense Rose’s distress.
I could feel my entire body shaking in anger, growls spilling over my lips, along with Rose’s. I couldn’t hold it back for a minute. Just to think that some… sick bastard had touched Bella in anyway like this.
I’d find him; I’d murder this fool and not have a sec
ond thought about it.
Edward, calm down before you scare Bella. Alice thought to me.
“You mean… you were…” Alice spoke looking at Bella sadly.
Bella nodded, seeming to tense as she watched Rose and Zander, concern filling her eyes as she watched Rose begin to get a bit savage.
Rose realized this, and quickly handed Bella Zander back, turning around to kick the side of the couch, causing it to split in half.
“Some old, piece of shit… raped you?” Rose forced between clenched teeth.
Bella winced, looking down, but she still spoke. “Yes, he had been drunk, walking around the alley, I was on my way home from work… and he attacked me,”
I felt the beast inside of me howl, and I balled my hands into fists at this thought. I really wanted to ring someone’s neck. This man was going to be found, and forced to beg for his life. I’ll break every bone in his body, and gladly hang him by his neck in the center of the town, for all the rest of his victims to see justice was served.
I’m going to find him. Rose’s thoughts were similar to mine, if not more violent.
I’m sure that Carlisle wouldn’t agree with this, but I made myself a promise. That Rose and I both would find him, and we would kill him.
“Bella I’m so sorry,” Alice said coming over to hug Bella and Zander both.
Rose on the other hand couldn’t seem to calm herself down, so Emmett had quickly taken her outside, probably to take a walk, and do some hunting to get her calm.
Sorry Edward, we will be right back. Emmett thought, and with that they left.
Bella held onto Alice for what seemed like a long time before she looked up at me, guilt, and fear clouding her eyes.
She believes that you are going to think less of her now, knowing what happened to her. I think I’ll leave you two alone to talk. Alice thought.
“Bella, you know that we are all here for you, we are your family now,” Alice spoke to her, and gently let her go, before giving me a look. “Now, I’m going to go help Emmett with Rose,”
And with that, Alice was gone as well, leaving Bella, and Zander behind.
Bella slowly looked away from me, looking ashamed.
I had to reassure her, that nothing changed on how I viewed her. She was still the most beautiful, kind, and amazing girl that had stolen my complete attention. The girl that I would die for and the girl that I live and breathe for…
Bella's Point of view
I was amazed by the pure beauty; that would be, Zander, and I's new home. It truly was spectacular. Just for a moment, I could close my eyes, and just feel, if not for a second, that I was a princess. That wasn't something that every girl could the chance to feel… but when I was around Edward, everything just felt so unreal.
Everything seemed to be going well, I was beginning to get into the Cullen's routine. From the crack of dawn, I was up rocking Zander back to sleep, or settling him when his stomach would begin to bother him. When he was asleep again, Rosalie, or Alice would watch after him, while Edward and I would hunt, sometimes Emmett tagging along.
When we managed to get back from hunting, Zander is usually awake, so I spend time with him, lay on his blanket, while Edward and I talked, or if he got fussy, Edward would bring us both up to his piano, and he would play for us.
At lunch time, I made sure to feed Zander, then once again let him with Alice, and Rose for them to put him to sleep. This is when Charlie came would come over to see me, make sure I'm doing fine. He usually would stay until dinner time, just talking, and watching the game on the TV, talking sports with Emmett, then staying for a meal with Esme.
Each time, he would ask why none of us would eat… which I'm sure sooner or later, he would stop believing us, but he seemed to be content to believe that they all were trying to eat less, because eating isn't good for the condition that I had come down with.
After Charlie leaves, Zander is up, and ready for his dinner, his diaper is changed, he is given his bath, then he is set out to lie on his blanket, and chew on his toys, as Edward and I talk once again.
Edward and I talk for hours, and it just never seems to get old, he was the most selfless, and amazing guy I had ever met. The stories of his past, were the ones that where the most chilling to hear about.
A lot of the times, Alice, and Rose would wonder down and listen as well, adding in pieces of their past into the mix.
Each of them seemed to have suffered a great deal before they were turned, and after hearing Rosalie's story, I couldn't feel that I had been in such a bad situation. Hers had been so much worse.
However, I truly did feel as though I was part of a family, I felt that I had belonged here, and the thought of leaving, just seemed to be the most horrible decision in the world. Although sooner or later, I would have to…
Right now, the sun was just rising in the sky, and like always, Zander had just finished one of his tantrums, and was now sleeping peacefully in my arms.
As if one que, Alice came skipping in with a bright smile, her hands going out eagerly. So I slowly handed Zander over to her, watching his beautiful face as he appeared to be dreaming.
"Thanks Alice," I nodded quietly, and went towards the door.
"Bella hold on, can we talk for a second," Alice whispered, pausing as she laid Zander down in his little crib.
"Sure, what did you want to talk about?"
Alice didn't respond, walking quickly over to me, and guiding me out of the room, closing the door behind us, before she spoke. "You know, we have all been talking, and we couldn't help but notice, that you and Edward, spend a lot of time together,"
My insides began to stir at her words, and I bit my lip to hold back my smile.
"He is… a great guy, he's done so much for me,"
"And you have done a lot for him to, and I'm sure you came to realize that we all have known Edward for a really long time,"
For many many years, yes I realized that the ages of my new family were pretty high.
"Of course,"
"And we know that Edward has never been so happy, since you had come into his life," Alice smiled eagerly.
Was this really true?
I couldn't deny, the thought was enough to pull my hide smile right to my face, once again.
"Honestly?"
"One hundred percent honest, I've talked with him about this to, and Bella, I know he loves you, he may be denying it to himself, but I know you two are meant to be together, I've seen it," Alice said to me seriously.
If such a thing was possible, I don't know if I could ever let myself leave this house ever. My life would finally complete, and I would feel like nothing in the world could make me more happy, then winning this gorgeous man's heart.
"Alice… I doubt it," But every cell of my body was pleading for her words to be true. I didn't know how, but I had fallen for Edward, I don't know if it had been somewhere in between our hours of talking, just the two of us alone, or if it had been that very night that he had saved me, and my son's life.
All that I knew, was there was a pulling, deep inside me, that pulled me right to him, and I didn't want to let that go.
"Trust me Bella, there is no denying this, it's going to happen, one way, or another,"
"What's going to happen?" Edward's smooth velvet voice sounded, and I quickly looked up to see Edward leaning against his door frame, watching the two of us curiously.
If it would have been possible for me to blush, I would have.
"Oh don't you worry about that, you two just go and get hunting, see you when you get back," Alice grinned, and with that she quickly went back into Zander's room, closing the door behind her.
I slowly looked to Edward, not able to meet his gaze, to afraid that if I let myself look into those butterscotch orbs, I'd be trapped there forever.
"What was that all about?" Edward wondered moving close to me, focusing me to let him gain my full attention.
My eyes roamed his perfect face, traveling
down to his lips, where I couldn't help but let my sight linger there, before swallowing, looking away from him completely.
"Oh, you know Alice," Was all I could respond with, and quickly I flashed down the stairs, wanting to get a bit of distance between the two of us before I made a very stupid mistake.
Edward followed me down just as fast, raising a brow as he watched me, a look of frustration filling his eyes for just a moment, but he stayed silent as we both went running out of the house.
I'm sure he wanted to get into my mind at this moment, figure out what it was I was hiding, and what it was that Alice and I were talking about. I never thought I would be so happy to know that I was the only one that Edward would never be able to read.
As we made it into the forest, I was shocked as I felt Edward's arms go around me, stopping me in my place, and trapping me against a nearby tree.
I felt myself freeze, looking up at him tensely, but at the same time, my mind was running wild with fantasies, as my eyes again went down to his lips. Shivering, I slowly looked up into his eyes.
"Hold on, Bella, please, you know I can't stand not knowing what you're thinking,"
I swallowed; my mouth parting as I continued to stare back at him.
"I was thinking about you," I spoke quietly.
My mind was thinking straight, for once everything wasn't crystal clear; everything was hazy, and mind-boggling. I couldn't focus on anything, except for Edward standing so close to me.
His eyes seemed to widen a little, and he did back up just slightly to give me more room, but he still keep his arms on each side of me, watching me intently.
"What about me, Alice had blocked her thoughts the second I had entered the room, and she has been for the last week, why?"
I shook my head, not wanting to say anything more about this matter. I was afraid, if he knew how I felt… and he really didn't feel the same way… this would ruin our friendship… forever.
"About, how you feel… well… how I feel… about each other," I stuttered, the words tumbling past my lips with some trouble. This had been the first time since I was turned, that I had trouble speaking how I felt.
Edward seemed to freeze, his eyes leaving my face for the first time, his arms now falling to his sides, emotions dancing behind his eyes.
He didn't say anything, looking away from me.
"I tried to tell her, that you would never feel like that for me, that you deserve someone so much better, but she wouldn't listen to me," I said, my eyes sliding to the ground.
Suddenly Edward's hand was now at my chin, firmly lifting it so I looked up into his eyes yet again.
Surprise and slight outrage colored his expression as he stared at me.
"Excuse me, I believe you have it the other way around Bella, it is you, that deserve better than me,"
At his touch, my whole body buzzed with sparks, flying from my head to my toes.
"W-what, look at me… I'm 17, I already have a kid, I've been raped, I no longer have anything left, my innocence, I'm impure, you deserve so much better of a person, someone that isn't already used, and worn out,"
Edward's hands now cupped my cheeks as he looked at me.
"Never, ever say those things about yourself again… Bella don't you see yourself at all?" His hands felt so smooth, and firm against my skin. It was so distracting, and yet, it was all that was keeping me together. "You're the most beautiful girl, I had ever seen, in my entire existence; you are so compassionate, and caring of your son. I know you would do just about anything for him. Your truly something special Bella, don't you see."
His words touched me, more than anything that I had ever experienced. No one had ever talked to me like this, told me I was something, made me feel like I truly was still a person, and not just a used up piece of crap, that society was done with.
Edward made me feel human.
"It's me, that is the monster, I have killed people, I have been a true beast, I ruined your life, and for that, I don't deserve to ever get the pleasure of being involved with you," He spoke, looking away from me again.
But now it was my turn to him fast, wrapping my arms around his neck, without even thinking. My eyes trained on his, I couldn't hold myself back much longer.
"No, Edward, you are the most perfect man I had ever meet, so unselfish, always wanting to do what was best for me, and for Zander, you were really the only one that I could ever depend on with my whole heart,"
He stared at me, emotion spiraling deep within his eyes, and just for a second, that's when I felt it. His lips slowly came forward, his lips just brushing mine, before I quickly leaned forward, pressing my lips closer.
Now this was how we would start forever.
Together.