When we get to the auditorium, I suddenly feel nervous as if everyone is watching me. Ethan sees that I’m nervous and holds my hand. Some of the boys on the football squad want to dance with me, but Ethan keeps an arm around my waist, and it feels nice.
“Do you want something to drink Diane? They have a soda table in the corner of the room.”
“Can you get me a coke?”
“Sure. I’ll be back in a minute.”
While Ethan is gone, one of the football players, Mitch, walks over to me.
“What are you doing with that geek? Did he pay you to take him to the prom?”
“No, he did not pay me. I don’t like what you just said. Why don’t you leave me alone?”
“Oh come on. I was only joking. Why are you so serious all of a sudden?”
Before I have a chance to answer him, Ethan returns with our soda, and Mitch gave Ethan a shoulder bump and almost knocked him to the floor.
I screamed. “That was fucking rude, Mitch!”
“Whatever,” he yells back as he walks away from me.
I feel Ethan standing behind me, and when he wraps his arm around my waist, he whispers to me, “Don’t worry about him. Do you want to dance with me?”
“Yes, I Do Ethan. Let’s dance!”
I bolt upright in bed and look over at Ethan as he sleeps peacefully next to me. That wasn’t a dream; it was a memory! I remembered something about our life together. How did this happen? I can’t tell him, not yet, because I want to make sure this isn’t a one-time event. The next night, I have another dream.
Ethan and I walk along the shoreline. It’s a beautiful day, and I am so happy. Tomorrow is our wedding day.
“I am so happy,” Ethan said to me. “I’ve waited for this day for so long, and after tomorrow, you will be my wife. Wow, it sounds funny when I say it.”
“I know. I’ve been walking in the clouds for a couple of weeks. It’s hard to believe that we’ve known each other for almost seven years. My mom is still bitching about us getting married. Mom thinks we are too young, blah, blah, and blah. I hope she doesn’t cause trouble tomorrow. Why does she act this way towards me? I don’t understand what I did to piss her off.”
Ethan wraps me in his strong arms, and I feel safe and loved. “Don’t worry about your mother. Nothing will stop me from marrying you tomorrow. You are my girl.”
“Will you still call me your girl when I’m sixty years old?” I whisper in his ear.
“You will always be my girl for as long as I live,” he whispers back to me.
We walk along the beach until we find a somewhat private spot. I sit in front of Ethan, and he wraps his arms around me. I have never felt such a sense of rightness as if my world centers itself just by having Ethan near me. I close my eyes and lean against his chest. I feel his soft lips glide up and down my neck, and chills surge through my body. We made the decision to wait until we were married before making love. I know it’s an old-fashioned concept, considering it’s the eighty’s, but it feels right to us. I want our wedding night to be a memory that we will remember for a very long time.
When I open my eyes, I feel tears running down the side of my face. I want so much to talk to Ethan, but I can’t, not now. I need to speak to Dr. Carpenter. Something is happening to me, and before I tell the family, I need to talk to her. I look at the clock, and it is just after midnight. I am too excited to sleep, so I get out of bed slowly because I do not want to wake up Ethan. I walk downstairs, make a cup of tea, and go into the family room. I feel comfortable here, and I think part of the reason I feel this way is because I’ve spent a considerable amount of time in this room over the past several months. I sit on the leather sofa, grab a book, and pray that at some point during the night, I will get a few hours’ sleep. My mind races as I remember both dreams.
*****
Someone is shaking me, and I want this person to go away. “Honey, wake up.”
“Don’t want to,” I mumble.
Now I feel warm lips on my neck, and suddenly I am awake. “Mmm, do that again.”
“Not until you open your eyes, my darling.”
God, the sound of Ethan’s sexy voice goes directly to my girlie parts. I open my eyes, and he is bending over me with his sexy morning hair and scruffy beard face. It should be illegal for someone to look so goddamn sexy in the morning. “My eyes are open. Are you going to kiss me now?”
‘Hell yes. When I woke up, and you were not in bed next to me, I panicked for a second or two. Why are you in the family room?”
“Kiss me first, and then I’ll tell you.” Several minutes later, we finally come up for air.
“So, why are you sleeping in the family room?”
I cannot tell him the truth. “Well, I couldn’t sleep and wanted to read for a while. I did not want to turn on the light and wake you, so I came down here, made myself a cup of tea, and read my book for a few hours, and eventually, I fell asleep. If you get off me, I’ll make breakfast.”
“I don’t want to get off you.”
I laugh and kiss him again. “Well, in about ten minutes I will have two starving children to feed. So, I’m asking you again to get…off…me…now, or I’ll let you explain why I did not fix breakfast.”
Ethan reluctantly stands and pulls me up off the sofa. “How many more weeks do we have until the wedding?”
“Um, I think we have three weeks. Why do you ask?” Wow, the look in his eyes answers that question.
“If I don’t make love to you soon, my dick will shrivel up and fall off my body.”
I move closer to him and reach down to stroke his cock. “I can guarantee you it will be worth the wait.” I kiss his cheek and leave the room. My poor Ethan looks down at the tent in his pajamas, shakes his head, and sits down. We can’t have the kids seeing their father with a raging hard-on. Ten minutes later, Ethan comes into the kitchen and invades my personal space. Whenever he does this to me, my legs quiver.
He whispers in my ear, “That was hitting below the belt Diane. I think you need to take care of me, in the shower, after breakfast.”
Once I’ve “taken care of” Ethan, and he leaves for work, I call Dr. Carpenter.
“Diane, it is so good to hear from you. How are you these days?”
“I’m happy Marilyn. I wanted to speak to you for a few minutes because I’ve been having dreams.”
“What kind of dreams?” Marilyn asks me.
“Um, well, I think the dreams are memories, but I’m not sure.”
“Can you expand that for me, Diane? What kind of dreams are you having?”
For the next ten minutes, I explain both dreams to her. Marilyn is silent for a few minutes, and I begin to worry. “What do you think? The dreams were so vivid, and it felt like I lived those dreams. Does this make sense to you?”
“It does make sense Diane. The brain is the most complex organ in the body. Without being too technical, neurotransmitters and neurohormones control memories while you sleep. Also, your body releases cortisol while you sleep. It is entirely possible that due to the changes taking place in your life, for example, your upcoming wedding, your mind is at peace with your life. This translates into a relaxed state of mind while you are sleeping.”
“What should I do? I want to tell Ethan, but I’m afraid the dreams will stop, and I can’t do that to him. It would be cruel to get his hopes up, and I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t know what to do!”
“I want you to write down the dreams. Keep a detailed record and after the wedding, make an appointment for the two of you, and we’ll discuss it then. I don’t want you to panic Diane. This is a good sign that whatever is blocking your memories is weakening. I want you to relax and enjoy the wedding preparations. You deserve to be happy Diane.”
“Thank you, Marilyn. I feel better now that I’ve talked to you.”
“Just remember Diane that whatever happens in the future, your life is happy, and every day you make new memories.”
Every
night for the next two weeks, I’ve had dreams, and my notebook is full of memories. I’ve dreamed of our first wedding, the births of my children, vacations, school plays, and summers at the shore. I can feel something changing within me. The brass ring is so close; I can almost touch it. I just need to have a little patience.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Diane
It’s seven in the morning, and I’ve been awake for a few hours. Ethan sleeps peacefully next to me. It’s hard to imagine that two days from now we will renew our wedding vows. As I lay here, I look across the bedroom at my wedding dress hanging in a garment bag on the closet door. I wanted something simple but elegant, and my dress is beautiful. Catherine helped me to find my gown, and yesterday I had the final fitting. I was unsure about spaghetti straps, but when I put it on yesterday, I felt like a princess. The bodice of the gown shimmers with seed pearls, and the train flows around me. My veil is short because I wanted something simple. This afternoon, Mom and I are getting a manicure and pedicure. Catherine asked me last month if I wanted my parents to attend the wedding, and I told her no. Since I’ve been home, they have not visited me once, and while I am sad about that, I can’t worry about it either. When I roll over, Ethan is staring at me.
“Good morning sweetheart.”
I move closer to him and kiss his beautiful mouth. Ethan and I decided to wait until our wedding to make love. I know it sounds strange, but without my memory, this is a new experience for me, and I wanted it to happen on our wedding night.
“What do you have planned for today, honey?”
“Well, if I ever find the energy to get out of bed, Mom and I are having a girl’s day out. It’s manicure and pedicure first, then I need to make a quick stop to pick up Kellie’s dress, then we are having lunch. I’m looking forward to spending the day with Mom. What are you doing today?”
“I’m driving down to Cape May with Dad this morning to help him set up for the wedding. We have to pick up the tent, the tables and chairs, and a few other things. Joey is coming with me, and we’ll stay at the house until the wedding. Jerry will drive you, Kellie, and Mom, tomorrow afternoon. Are you excited?”
“I am so excited I can’t stand it. I’ll miss you tonight.” Ethan opens his arms, and I curl up against him. This is where I want to be for the rest of my life. This is where I belong, in his arms, in his heart. “Can we just stay like this for a few minutes?”
“Oh, definitely, sweetheart, this is where you belong, in my arms.”
“I was just thinking the same thing. I love you so much, Ethan.”
Ethan holds me tighter against him, “In a few days, we start the next chapter of our lives, and I want to tell you now that I am so damn proud of your strength and your determination to put everything behind you and move forward with your life. I know it’s not easy, and I know that we will have flashbacks. I want you to promise me that you will tell me if or when this happens. I’ll promise to do the same. I want us to have a happy life, honey.”
“I promise. I know that a few months of therapy is not a cure-all. I still think about it and probably always will. It’s a part of who I am now, and pushing it to the side or ignoring it is not healthy. Right now, I feel fantastic, and I don’t want anything to spoil our wedding day.”
“Well, my darling, I won’t let anything ruin our special day. I’ve waited a long time for this day.”
*****
Three hours later, Ethan and Joey are on the road, and Jerry takes Kellie to the zoo. I’m so excited to spend the day with Mom.
“So, what do you want to do first?” Mom asked me.
“I think we should pick up Kellie’s dress. She is going to love it. Her only requirement was that she wants to look like a princess.”
Catherine laughs. “I think you nailed it. Pink silk with a sequins bodice and the sash at the waist with the big pink bow is icing on the cake. Kellie will flip out when she sees the dress. Pink is her favorite color.”
“I wish I knew these things. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t know what makes my daughter happy.”
Catherine pats my hand. “It is going to take time Diane to know these things. Think of it this way: every time you learn something new; it will become a memory for you. Sit back and enjoy the ride.”
“My life feels like a rollercoaster. So much has happened; it’s hard to keep up most days, but I love every minute of it.”
“That’s how it should be honey. Do you have everything packed for the wedding?”
“Pretty much, but I need something pretty to wear under my gown, and for the wedding night.”
“Oh, I know the perfect place to pick up a few sexy things. Let’s go there before we pick up Kellie’s dress.”
“How sexy, Mom?”
“Very hot, Diane, Ethan will pop a vein when he sees you.”
*****
“I don’t know about this, Mom. Isn’t this a little too sexy?”
“Oh, no it is perfect, and you look so beautiful.”
I look at myself in the mirror, and for the first time in months, I do feel sexy. My stomach flutters at the thought of Ethan removing this from my body on our wedding night. I look at the sexy bra and panties that Catherine holds in her hand and my heart races. While I stand in the fitting room looking at my reflection, another memory hits me. I’ve done this before. I see a younger version of myself standing in front of a mirror wearing a short nightgown and matching robe. Oh, God, it’s happening again, and I am so excited because I’m not sleeping this time. I take a few deep breaths to calm myself. I don’t want Catherine to know what’s happening to me.
“You’re right Mom, I do feel sexy, and I think I’ll need one in every color they have.” Twenty minutes later, I have a bag of sexy items guaranteed to make my husband happy. After leaving the store, we head out to get Kellie’s dress. As we are leaving the shopping mall, an SUV almost hits Catherine’s car. She swerves to the right and almost hits a street light.
“Goddamn idiot, watch where the hell you’re going!” Catherine yells out the window.
My head feels like it is about to explode. A searing pain shoots through my temples, and on instinct, I reach up to hold my head.
“Diane, what’s wrong. Did you hit your head?”
Catherine’s voice echoes in my mind. I can’t focus. I can’t answer her. I feel her hand on my arm, and then a flash of bright light explodes behind my eyes. I can’t stop shaking. I feel the car moving again, and when I open my eyes, we are once again in the parking lot of the mall.
I hear Catherine say, “What is it, Diane? Do you need me to call 911?”
I smile as the pain recedes. “No, I’m okay Mom. The car coming at us scared me a little, but I’m ok now.” I can’t tell her that I had a flashback to the day of my accident.
“Are you sure you’re ok? You look a little pale honey. Do you want to go home?”
“I’m fine really. Let’s pick up Kellie’s dress.”
By the end of the day, we’ve had lunch, a manicure, pedicure, and picked up Kellie’s dress. I’m exhausted but so incredibly happy. Later that night, I write what happened today in my journal. Ethan calls me around eleven, waking me from a deep sleep.
“I’m sorry honey. Did I wake you?”
“Yeah, but I don’t mind. I need to hear your voice.”
“Did you have fun today?”
Did I have a good time today? It is the best day of my life. “I had an excellent day; you have no idea how good it was.”
“I’m happy you had a good day. I miss you, sweetheart.”
My throat constricts with emotion. “I miss you too Ethan. You have no idea how much I miss you.”
“Go back to sleep, sweetheart. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”
“Yes, you will Ethan. I can’t wait to see you.”
“Love you, baby.”
“Love you too, so much.”
I fall asleep with a smile on my face. Life is good.
Ethan
&nb
sp; Diane is acting very strange. I can’t put my finger on it, but something is different with her. She is bouncing around all over the house, and she is hugging everyone. Kellie and Joey also notice something weird about her.
“Mom’s acting weird,” Joey said to me.
“She’s just excited about the wedding.”
“No, it’s not that. It’s something else. Have you seen the way Mom’s moving around the house? I can’t pinpoint it, but she’s acting differently.”
I noticed it too, but I attribute her exuberance to happiness, and by judging the look on her face, Diane is happy. My dad has the barbecue going, and we are about to eat dinner. When I walk out into the backyard, my breath catches in my throat. Diane is dancing around the lawn with Kellie in a very sexy one-piece bathing suit, and for a minute, my mind flashed back to last summer. Diane sees me and runs over to me. She jumps up, wraps her arms and legs around me, and plants one on my lips. My cock immediately reacts to her sudden and rather a bold move, considering we are at my parent’s house.
“What are you doing Diane?” I growl out as she grinds herself against me. “You’ve just given me an erection in front of my parent’s and our kids.”
“Oops, sorry honey, I’m just happy to see you.”
I walk over to the side of the house with Diane still in my arms. I see my mother smirking at me as I walk away from them. Once we are on the other side of the house, I crush my lips to hers. I devour her mouth and grind my cock into her. Thank all that’s holy that I have my swim trunks on because I can’t stop the climax that threatens to blow off the head of my cock.
“You started this Diane, and I’m going to finish it.” I have Diane pinned against the side of the house. I need to come now. “Take me out of my trunks honey; we don’t have much time. I can’t stop now.”
Diane reaches between us and takes out my cock. The relief that I feel is immediate. Her hand works me hard and fast, and after several hard twists, I come so hard, I see white spots in front of my eyes. I bury my face in her neck to stop myself from screaming. When I look down, thick cum covers Diane’s hand, and it’s the sexiest fucking thing I’ve seen in a long time.
I tuck myself back in my trunks and carry her over to the pool. “Get in, and I’ll take care of you.” Once we are in the pool, I slip my hand into the side of her bathing suit and work her clit until her legs tremble. I slide two fingers into her, and she falls apart in my arms.