“You aren’t funny.”
“But you get my point?”
“Yeah.”
* * *
“He freakin’ wants to buy you a house, Harleigh. This is serious.”
Rose was giving me her analysis of the situation.
“No, he doesn’t want to buy me a house. He wants to buy the house he grew up in.”
“Sweetie, he said he wanted to buy the house because he was ready to settle down.”
“So?”
“Who do you think he wants to settle down with? The Chia head you got him for Christmas last year?”
“But, Rose, I didn’t say anything. I just kind of stood there like the moronic idiot that I am.”
“You’re being redundant.”
“Enough with the English lessons.”
“So is Mike gonna sell him half?”
“I don’t know. I think we were both so shocked by Shaun’s settling down declaration that neither of us knew what to say.”
“Mike won’t sell it to him.”
“You don’t think so?”
“He’ll give it to him. Think of it as your wedding gift.”
“Whoa. Mind off the fast forward button.”
* * *
“Hey, Harleigh.”
“Hey what?”
“I’ve been thinking about tomorrow.”
Our anniversary.
“Tomorrow? What about tomorrow, Shaun?”
“You know tomorrow?”
“You mean Friday?”
I winked at him.
“So about our anniversary, Harleigh…”
“So about our anniversary, Shaun…”
“I made us reservations at Elliott’s.”
Our favorite restaurant.
“Oh did you?”
He nodded.
“And what about our rule, Shaun?”
After our first anniversary, we decided not to spend money on each other’s anniversary gifts.
“Well, I think the rules can be bent a little this year. And besides, that’s not your present.”
The ring?
“Oh, it isn’t? Well what is?”
“You get to see me in a tie.”
* * *
Shaun and I had been palling around for weeks after that first baseball game. But that was it. Just friends.
“So Harleigh…”
He sounded nervous.
“So Shaun…”
“What are you doing tomorrow night?”
“Hmmm. That’s a tough one. Nothing.”
“Well, I was thinking… I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go to dinner with me?”
“Taco Bell or Burger King?”
Those were our two Friday night spots.
“Elliott’s.”
“What? Shaun?”
“Harleigh, will you go to dinner with me tomorrow night at Elliott’s?”
“Are you? Is this?”
“God, I feel like I’m in junior high again. Why am I so nervous?”
“So this is a…?”
“Yes, Harleigh, I’m asking you out on a date.”
* * *
Rose and I were walking to our cars after school.
“So I’m going to propose to Shaun tomorrow.”
“You’re what? Harleigh…”
“It’s our anniversary.”
“Three years?”
“Three years.”
“Sweetie, I don’t think…”
“He was going to propose to me, Rose.”
“I know.”
“He even had the ring.”
“I know.”
“I found… What? You knew?”
Rose nodded.
“Was I the only one who didn’t?”
“Pretty much.”
“When? Well who? Why?”
“I can still remember the day he took Mike and me and showed us the ring. He was so excited and so nervous.”
“I ruined it, Rose. I really ruined everything.”
“You didn’t ruin anything. He’ll…”
“No, he won’t. He’s never even said the word marriage in front of me again.”
“Harleigh, he loves you. And I know he wants to marry you.”
“Did he tell you that? When did he tell you that? Recently?”
“OK, relax. You just need to give him time.”
“Time to what?”
“Time to heal so he can get down on one knee.”
* * *
We were in Shaun’s truck on our way to Elliott’s for our first official date.
His eyes were focused on the road.
“You look really pretty tonight, Harleigh.”
“Thanks, you don’t look all that bad yourself. You know I think this is the first time I’ve seen you that you haven’t been wearing jeans or shorts.”
He laughed.
“It probably is.”
“You clean up well.”
“Yeah, it happens once or twice a year.”
“Only once or twice?”
“Yeah, Mike’s not real good about letting me borrowing his clothes.”
He was grinning.
* * *
I could feel Shaun’s eyes on me as I drove to Elliott’s.
“Three years, Shaun. Three years.”
“We almost didn’t make it.”
I looked at him.
“I almost didn’t make it, Harleigh.”
I squeezed his hand.
“I wasn’t going to let you leave me.”
“Thank you, Harleigh.”
“For what?”
“For everything. I know this isn’t easy on you either. Sometimes I get so caught up in how shitty I’m feeling or feeling sorry for myself that I forget how much this has hurt you too. And I want us to go back to how we were before.”
“No.”
“No what?”
“No looking back, just looking forward.”
* * *
I was already nervous enough about having an official date with Shaun.
But the fact that he was nervous made me even more nervous.
“Harleigh…”
“Shaun...”
He started to laugh.
“What? What’s so funny?”
“Why is this so awkward?”
“I don’t know.”
“Mike was going over this list of manners and stuff before I left.”
“Really?”
“He’s like, ‘Keep your elbows off the table. Open the doors for her. Chew with your mouth closed.’ And I told him, ‘Mike, she’s already seen me shoot grape Kool-Aid out my nose.’”
“The Kool-Aid shooting incident was pretty impressive.”
“Yeah? I think if I tried to give you a repeat performance tonight, they might kick us out.”
“Shaun…”
“What?”
“It’s really nice being here with you tonight.”
“Even though I haven’t kept my elbows off the table the whole night?”
“I haven’t even noticed.”
* * *
Shaun hadn’t stopped smiling since we got to the restaurant.
“You look so happy, Shaun.”
“I am happy.”
“Me too.”
“Hey, Harleigh.”
“Hey what?”
“I just want you… I just want to tell you how much I love you. I mean I love you more than I’ve ever loved anybody, more than I thought I could ever love anybody. I just… I want…”
“Shaun…”
“I’m sorry. I’m rambling.”
“That’s OK. So you mentioned that you love me?”
“Through all this shit we’ve been through, the accident and everything, I’ve realized I’m more in love with you now than I ever have been. And…”
“And what?”
“And it has taken three years, but I’ve finally won over Jon, too.”
* * *
We had finished dinner at Elliott??
?s.
Shaun said he knew a place by the lake that was perfect for looking at the stars.
For some reason I believed him. And I trusted him.
“I bet you bring all the girls here.”
“You’re the first.”
“Really?”
“Really. My dad proposed to my mom here, and he used to bring me and Mike here all the time when we were little. We have a cabin up here, and I still come up sometimes.”
“Awww. That’s so sweet. And here I had you pegged for a player.”
He laughed.
“I am definitely not a player. Well, at least not anymore. Maybe I used to be but not anymore.”
“A retired player?”
“Hmmm. A reformed player.”
“I see.”
“If I tell you something, promise you won’t laugh, Harleigh?”
“I promise.”
“This is my first real date in over a year.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Nope.”
“I just thought…”
“Don’t let these good looks deceive you.”
He was looking up at the stars, but I could see the grin on his face.
“Part of the reformation?”
“Yeah, I had a lot of issues of my own that I had to work out on my own before I got into a relationship.”
“Wow.”
“Surprised at my relationship maturity, Harleigh?”
“Yeah, kind of, I guess.”
“Well it took a lot of mistakes, some pretty big ones, before I realized I needed to fix me before becoming part of a we.”
* * *
Shaun and I sat on a blanket by the lake. He pulled me close to him and kissed me – the kind of kiss that would have made my knees weak if I had been standing.
“I wish we could just stay here forever, Harleigh.”
“We can’t.”
“I know that.”
“We’re going away tomorrow.”
He looked at me.
“What?”
“I believe we have reservations at Greg’s cabin in the mountains. Happy anniversary, Shaun.”
“We’re going away tomorrow? Just me and you? No doctors or nurses or therapists or Mike or anybody?”
“Just us.”
“How’d you do this?”
“I talked to all your doctors last week and Luis. And they all said they thought it would be good for you. And I promised you would spend most of the weekend in bed.”
Shaun laughed.
“You’re gonna be in the bed with me, right?”
“Let’s just say I did some shopping after school today.”
* * *
Shaun had walked me to my apartment door.
“I had a really good time tonight, Harleigh.”
“I did, too.”
“So do you think this is… Would you wanna go out again sometime?”
“I’d really like that.”
“Me too.”
“Shaun…”
“What?”
“I hadn’t been out on a date in more than a year either.”
“And here I had you pegged for a player.”
“That’s me.”
“I call them like I see them.”
“Thanks for everything tonight, Shaun.”
“You’re welcome. Good night, Harleigh.”
“Good night.”
* * *
Shaun’s arms were wrapped around my waist as we walked through the apartment door.
“Tonight was perfect, Shaun.”
“I’ve got one more surprise for you. Wait right here. I’ve gotta get it.”
Visions of the engagement ring.
Shaun came out of the bedroom with a shirt-size box.
“Sorry, it’s kind of messy. Mike’s not very good at wrapping things.”
“Shaun, what is this? Why?”
“Just open it, Harleigh.”
Inside was a scrapbook filled with memories from our three years together. Ticket stubs from the first baseball game we went to together. Pictures from when Shaun surprised me for my birthday at school, from the roller-skating party. Notes I had left him.
“Shaun…”
I was starting to cry as I turned the pages.
“You don’t like it?”
“No, I love it. You’re amazing, you know that?”
“Luis and Mike helped me with it. I’m still not handy with scissors yet. But I’m getting better and…”
I stopped his nervous rambling. I kissed him.
“Shaun, I didn’t know you kept all this stuff.”
“I thought you’d think I was a psycho or something if you knew I did.”
I couldn’t stop crying. He pulled me close.
“I’m so lucky to have you, Shaun.”
I rested my head on his shoulder.
“Everything is going to be OK, Harleigh. Everything is going to be OK.”
Although I had been telling everyone, including myself, that since the accident, I never really believed it.
Until that night.
* * *
“So Greg called and wanted to know if we wanted to spend the weekend at his cabin with him and Ann and Drew and Beth.”
“That sounds great, Harleigh.”
“Good, I’ll call and tell him we’ll be there.”
“Jon’s not going to be there, right?”
“Shaun…”
“It’s just that I saw this movie with Ice-T and these guys told him they were going to take him hunting. But they actually ended up hunting him.”
“Shaun…”
“And there was this room with all these heads in glass jars.”
“Jon’s not going to be there.”
* * *
We were about two hours into our three-hour trip.
I looked over at Shaun. He was looking out the window, smiling.
I reached over and squeezed his knee.
“What’re you thinking?”
“I feel alive again, Harleigh. I feel alive.”
I wanted to ask him what he meant, but he didn’t give me a chance.
“I feel like I can have a life again, like I’m not always gonna be a patient, like someday I might make it a couple hours without thinking about the accident. You know?”
“I know.”
“And this… this… being here with you, this is great. We’re here, and all that shit is so far back there.”
He rolled down the window a couple inches.
“I feel alive again, Harleigh.”
* * *
Shaun turned up the radio as he was driving to the cabin.
“November Rain” was playing.
“They used to play this at all the junior high dances I would go to, and I’d always make sure to ask the girl I really, really liked to dance to this song because it was so long.”
“Always a player.”
He reached over and took ahold of my hand.
“Hey, Harleigh.”
“Hey what?”
“If I wasn’t driving right now, I’d ask you to dance.”
* * *
When we got to Greg’s cabin, Shaun looked tired but he insisted on carrying our bags.
He sat down on the couch. I sat down beside him and started to massage his back.
“How’s that?”
“Ummm, good. My back kinda started to hurt in the car.”
“You OK?”
“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine.”
“How about you go and take a little nap, and I’ll go to the store and get some groceries for dinner and breakfast tomorrow?”
“I don’t need a nap.”
“I don’t think you’ll be getting much sleep tonight.”
Somehow I got the line out without laughing. I saw Shaun smirk.
“What a saucy vixen you’ve become.”
“You haven’t seen anything yet.”
* * *
Beth and I were in t
he kitchen getting things ready for dinner.
Ann was lying down, and Shaun and my brothers had gone into town to pick up some things.
“So are you guys talking about it yet, Harleigh?”
“About what?”
I didn’t really have to ask.
“About getting married?”
“No.”
“Why the hell not?”
Out of all Drew’s girlfriends, I liked Beth the most. She had a lot more class than most of them. But she still had personality.
Most of the time I thought she deserved much better than Drew.
“I don’t know. Maybe we’re both a little long-term commitment phobic.”
“Nice diagnosis, Harleigh. But you two are just so perfect.”
“No, we aren’t.”
“Yes, you are.”
“Trust me, Beth. We aren’t.”
“Tell me the last big thing you fought about.”
“Jon. We’re always fighting about Jon.”
“Well, Jon’s an ass. And he’s an even bigger ass to Shaun so that doesn’t really count.”
“We still fight.”
“But I bet it doesn’t even compare to Drew and me. It’s all the time, constant. And it’s about everything.”
“What keeps you two together?”
“I think in some really sick and twisted way we really, really love each other.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. And we have amazing makeup sex.”
* * *
Shaun was sleeping when I got back from the store.
I started making dinner and called Mike to let him know everything was OK.
“How’s he doing?”
“He’s sleeping now. I think the trip kinda tired him out a little bit. But he’s doing good.”
“He was so excited this morning before you left.”
“I think we needed some time away from everything.”
“He loves you, Harleigh. He loves you so much. And he never would have made it through any of this without you.”
* * *
There was at least two feet of space between Shaun and me in the bed.
It felt weird to be sleeping in same bed with him in Greg’s cabin with Greg in the room next door.
Or maybe I was just weird that way.
He turned over on his side and looked at me.
“Hey, Harleigh?”
“Hey what?”
“I’m really glad we’re here.”
“Me too.”
“I remember the first time I met Greg I was so nervous.”
“Really? Why?”
I wiggled over closer to him.
“Because I wanted him to like me. And I didn’t know if he would. And I couldn’t figure out why you liked me. I was just so nervous.”
“Greg thinks you’re great. And so do I.”
Then we heard the sounds coming from Beth and Drew’s room.
“Shaun, please tell me that’s not what I think it is.”
“Sorry, it’s exactly what you think it is.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry about?”
“That you have to listen to my brother make barnyard-esque noises while he’s having sex.”
* * *
After dinner, I started cleaning up.
Shaun lit some candles and put a CD on. He turned the lights off.