Chapter 48
Abruptly, she stopped and pulled away. “Oh my God, I’ve hurt you! You’re bleeding!” She hopped to her feet. “Wait right there,” she ordered, and rushed out of the room.
My groin ached right through my guts. I crawled to my knees and then, slowly, to my feet, and sat on the side of the bed, staring at what was left of the chair. I heard Jessie in the bathroom. She came back with the first aid kit, a hand towel, and a wet washcloth.
She didn’t look much better than I felt. Her shirt was torn where jagged wood had scraped across her neck and chest.
She knelt in front of me, taking her time, and cleaned my face with the warm, damp cloth.
“Jessie, I...”She put her finger to my lips. She stood and leaned forward. I thought she was going to hug me, but instead she held the bottom of my tee shirt, and pulled it over my head. It was torn and bloody in a couple spots. I wiggled my arms free.
Bending over me, she checked my chest and back. She cleaned my wounds and pulled splinters, dabbing gently on the tender spots. Satisfied, she said, “Hold still,” opened a couple Band-Aids and placed them on my back.
I reached up and gently took the cloth from her. Standing, still with some discomfort, I wiped the tear stains from her skin. With the towel, I tenderly blotted her wet face. Hands shaking, I started to unbutton the old shirt.
“Is this okay?”
She nodded.
“You have to say it out loud.”
“Then yes.”
With my palms lightly against her skin, I slipped the fabric over her shoulders until it fell behind her. She offered no resistance.
I washed her neck and throat, and wiped off the scrapes and scratches. Then, tossing the cloth aside, I reached out and stroked her cheek. She smiled a shy smile, sliding her arms around my sides.
This was a whole new kind of heaven. My senses overloaded as she ran her warm, small hands down my back and pressed her dark skin against me. I closed my eyes and smelled the flesh of her neck, moving my hands up her sides. I could almost feel every soft, downy hair that covered her. My thumbs brushed the edges of her breasts, and I looked to see her reaction. Her eyes were closed and she drew in a deep breath. I could feel her heart beating fast.
She whispered, “Oh my God.”
My pulse was pounding. It was too intense to continue. I stepped back a couple inches.
Even in the dim light, I could see that her chest and neck were flushed as mine. We were both breathing hard.
Cupping her head in my hand, I kissed her again. Now I could feel how swollen my lower lip was. She broke off and crawled onto the bed, pushing her homework to the floor. She reached for my hand.
I laid on my back, with her head on my shoulder and our arms around each other, like when we were kids on the beach. She melted into me like warm honey, blending our bodies into one.
“It’s been eating me alive, Cory. I tried to tell you Tuesday night. I had to try. But I was so scared that you’d just get mad and yell at me again. I love you so much… I just couldn’t take that.”
“That’s okay. I wasn’t angry. It doesn’t matter.”
“Yes it does. You shut me down, you rejected me. It really cut me deep.”
“I thought you suspected.”
“Oh. And that scared you, I get it. But Cory, you broke my heart and it never healed.”
“It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I did it to protect you. I was so afraid, afraid for you, of what could happen…”
“I know. But part of me hates you for that. It hurt so bad, Cory, a thousand times worse than being burned. And it hurts me that you’ve lied to me all this time.”
“I’m sorry. I had to.”
We lay silently together for a while.
“What changed today?”
“I couldn’t do it anymore. It was killing me, ripping me up inside.”
“Good. You made me miserable; you deserved to be miserable, too.”
“Yeah, I guess so. Please forgive me.”
“Okay, but don’t ever lie to me again. Promise?”
I didn’t answer. Maybe I someday could explain about the fire, and about Mom.
“Also, Spaz figured out how I feel. I’m afraid he’ll screw up and tell someone.”
“Oh.”
Minutes or years went by. I felt each breath and heartbeat as they slowed and quieted. I lay there in uncomprehending bliss. I didn’t care about anything that happened before this moment. I didn’t know or care what might happen next. For once, I was content just to be.
I looked at her angelic face, the face I loved so dearly, and knew that if I died then and there, my life would’ve been fulfilled because she loved me. Somehow, she had loved me all along. I pulled a blanket over us and nestled back beside her.
She was falling asleep in my arms, her exhalations barely audible. Finally, I gave in and closed my eyes. Still listening to her sleep, I joined her, dreaming of things that might be.