Read If Only Page 9


  Chapter Nine

  Five o’clock, right on the minute, Kathy woke, angry with herself for putting that time in her mind. It had been like that for years. Whenever she mentioned getting up at a specific time, her mind would waken her. Even when the girls were older, if she knew they were to be in at a certain time, she would wake right at that moment. Annoying bad habit.

  There was no point in even attempting to return to sleep. Might as well shower and pick out what to wear. Although she didn’t know his plans, she assumed California casual would be appropriate. No, not a black outfit, not the “widow’s weeds”. There was that electric blue suit that was her favorite that along with a plain pale blue blouse; could be stunning. Short blue heels and bag matched perfectly. Fashion had never been important to her, but when she had made her plans to come here, she wanted to look right. Just a hint of makeup would do for the day. Should she wear perfume or would it be too enticing? There was a time when she would never have worn any makeup, but age had taught her that some things were unavoidably necessary. There, she thought as she gazed into the mirror, only an hour to go and I’m ready. Time to take that little healthy walk she had been neglecting since she had gone on vacation. That was no way to keep her figure, never easy to do.

  First, off with the heeled shoes and into flat shoes that were better for walking. Quietly, lest she disturb her neighbors, she shut the door and headed toward the winding stairs that led down to the lowest level. There were so many rock rooms at that level. One of them would be the Cave Man Rock room where she planned on spending her last nights here at the Madonna Inn. Another would be the Jungle Rock room. It appeared as if the hotel was quite full with the many cars parked everywhere. Either route she chose would lead to an uphill climb on her return. Going down the hill toward the main building would be easy as would the return up the gentle slope, but wouldn’t be the best exercise. On the other hand, if she walked around this part of the hotel, it would lead her uphill to the back entrance of the hotel. That way, if she were out of breath as she anticipated, there would be fewer people, if any, to see her gasping for air. Katherine knew that the few weeks she had not been walking had put her out of practice. She chose the latter route.

  The white gingerbread balconies really gave the place a great deal of charm. She noted that the large rocks that had not been used in the actual building were used to fence in small garden areas close to the building. Most of the windows were of stained glass scenes depicting the building of the hotel. Trying to forget the hill and keep from listening to her own short panting for breath, she gazed out at the large pasture and horses with a building very much similar to the design of the hotel, off in the distance. She supposed it might be the residence of the Madonna’s. It was so beautiful and serene at that time of morning. It was so quiet; she could actually hear birds singing. Finally and completely out of breath, she reached the top of the hill with the small, almost empty parking lot at the back of the hotel. For a moment, she gazed at the architecture, so detailed even from that view. The bricks on the chimneys were so patterned as to give them a unique appearance. A narrow bridge adorned with the same ornate railing led to the back entrance on the third level. As she entered the passage to the rooms, she heard a car pulling into the parking lot. Out of curiosity, she looked to see who might be pulling in at such an unusual hour. When she saw it was Charlie’s silver Oldsmobile, she hurried down the hall where he could not see her. There was no place to hide, so she started down the winding stairway to the deck where she could stand back in an almost hidden area and observe him.

  What was he doing out at this time of day and apparently in the same clothing that he had been wearing the previous night? Perhaps he could not sleep either and he had gone for a drive. No sense in embarrassing him by having him see her. He appeared as if he were so tired, he could barely bring himself to put one foot in front of the other, as if he had been out all night. She quickly pulled back so that she would not be seen, if indeed he were awake enough to see her. In moments, he was climbing the short flight of stairs that led to his suite. Kathy waited a few more minutes, and then went to her own room.

  Katherine freshened her makeup, trying to look as if she had only just prepared for the day. It was still difficult to sit and wait for him to arrive. Precisely at the expected hour, there was a knock on the door.

  “Good morning,” he appeared as bright as if he had slept the entire night through, although the dark shadows under those blue eyes convinced her that he had been completely without rest.

  “Come on, Charles, I’m just about ready. Can you sit down for just a minute?” Kathy’s memory went back to when they were dating, each working a graveyard shift. Often it had been difficult to get rest on a regular basis, much less their stolen moments. One thing she recalled was whenever he was overtired; he could hide it until he sat down in a comfortable spot. Then his traitorous body would take over and he would fall into a deep sleep. Katherine was counting on that. Their time together could wait. Knowing he couldn’t possibly fall asleep on the old fashioned settee, she had wisely put her open suitcase on it.

  “Here, Charles,” she gestured toward the made bed,” have a seat here while I finish brushing my hair.” Too tired to argue, he sat down and in moments was leaning back against the propped pillows, fast asleep. Kathy was certain it would be hours before he would wake, plenty of time for her to go down to the coffee shop and enjoy a hearty breakfast. She was in fact, just a little angry with him, although she did leave a note she knew he wouldn’t waken to read.

  Too lost in thought to order anything special, she mused over her aromatic coffee until the waitress suggested a special of turkey and broccoli omelet made with healthy egg beaters or… Kathy stopped her from any further suggestions as that one whetted her appetite. Waiting for her meal, she continued to think about Charles and why he had gone out after their date. Wasn’t it he who stated they needed their rest for the following day’s plans. What could it have been to make him leave and stay out all night as he apparently had done? Perhaps it had something to do with this business that he had been so hesitant to discuss with her. How could she possibly continue with a relationship full of deceit? The thought that he had been keeping things so important to them from her brought a few tears to her eyes. She picked up the pink napkin and dabbed them away. He couldn’t have been lying to her about his wife, could he? No, that was one thing she believed impossible. She tried to convince herself that he would tell her when he woke and it would be acceptable. There was no point in speculating fearing the worst.

  Without really meaning to eat all her breakfast, it was so delicious that the plate was empty before she realized it. Requesting a cup of coffee to go, she returned to her room. As she anticipated, he was still fast asleep just as she had left him and the note was left untouched. Poor baby, she thought, gazing at him with soft eyes of love. She didn’t dare turn on the television, even low, as she didn’t know how much noise it would take to disturb his slumber. There was so much she knew about this man, but again, so little of him as he was now. There was still that book she had barely started. No point in mussing up her suit to just sit and read for no telling how long. Quickly out of the attractive outfit, she was soon garbed in a comfortable but exquisite jungle-print silk caftan. Carefully placing a fresh towel on the settee with the spare pillow behind her back, she propped her feet up on the towel and began reading. Apparently, she was tired or too tensed up as well. Within ten pages, she was also fast asleep.

  It was well into the afternoon when she was wakened by a gentle kiss. “Good morning again, princess. I am so sorry that I fell asleep on you. What can I say? Boy, is that some outfit.” His deep blue eyes took in the enticing female.

  “Thank you, kind sir,” Kathy swung her legs off the couch, picked up the towel and motioned for him to sit beside her. “I guessed when I saw you; I surmised that you might have had as much trouble as I did falling asleep last night.” That would have been the perfect
time for him to come out and tell her why he had been out all night and what he was doing.

  Katherine held back the tears as he agreed to the lie she had provided. She wanted to be honest with him and tell him that she had seen him entering by way of the back parking lot and entrance that morning. Katherine wasn’t sure of her position with him; if she had the right to ask Charles about the previous night as well as this business about which he avoided discussing with her. Perhaps he needed more time. What could it be that would make him avoid the truth? She too was lying in a sense by not telling him what she had seen that morning. This was certainly no way to continue a relationship.

  “You and I have some plans to make. We’ve already missed most of the day and I’m wide-awake now. How about you?”

  “Mmmm,” she nodded in assent. “I slept while you did so I’m raring to go. What do you have in mind?”

  “Dinner.”

  Kathy laughed aloud. Perhaps later he would tell her about the previous night. Meanwhile, there was no point in pushing him until he was ready to talk things out with her. Knowing him as she had at one time, she should trust him. Whatever it was, it had to be something he wasn’t ready to divulge to her yet. “Of course. I should have expected that. Where?”

  “I’m so hungry. I know I had planned on taking you to another place, but do you mind if we eat in the hotel dining room, the Gold Rush room?”

  “No, I don’t care where we eat. I rather enjoy the food here anyway and that room is opulent.”

  “Fine, I’m going to run up to my room and change while you do the same and I’ll meet you back here in fifteen minutes. Okay?”

  “Fifteen minutes? Are we on some kind of marathon? I’m as anxious as you to have dinner, but I need a little more time to freshen up and dress. So you go and take your time. I haven’t even decided on what to wear. Where do you plan on going after dinner?”

  “As far as I’m concerned, I could suggest what you should wear, or actually what I would like to see you not wear, but you would probably refuse me.” He chuckled as she threw a pillow at him. “Okay, I’ll behave for now. How about a drive either down the coast or into San Luis Obispo or even Morro Bay? Neither of those places is too far.”

  “Let’s drive down the coast and see what’s there or do you already know?” I forgot you said that you lived somewhere near here. Are we that far away from your home?”

  “Too far to drive tonight. Maybe another day.” Did he seem evasive? “Down the coast it is. Pick you up….when?”

  “I’ll be ready in thirty minutes. Why don’t you call ahead for reservations? I understand that is a good idea.”

  “Fine, half an hour.” He left leaving her to decide what to wear for the evening as well as trying to come to grips with her emotions about him. The last thing she wanted was to start any kind of permanent relationship with someone she couldn’t trust completely. Then too, how could she bring him into their daughter’s existence until she knew more about his life as he was now? He seemed to have plenty of money unlike before and apparently wasn’t tied down to his business. It was hard to imagine him involved with something criminal, but it had been twenty years.

  “Stop,” she commanded herself. “Get ready and be patient. He’ll tell you when he’s ready.” Picking up the blue suit, she decided to wear it again. He had been so tired, he hadn’t even noticed it and it was rather attractive on her. That would cut down some of the time she needed and would help her be prepared on time. A quick shower allowed her plenty of time to apply her cosmetics with care. If only she were a few years younger. Charles did look so good for his age while she knew she showed every minute of her ripe years. She gazed into the hateful mirror, grateful that they had agreed on holding back from any physical relations, although she wasn’t sure how well she could keep herself from wanting him. The memories of their many nights together were still taunting her. Kathy felt as if she had gone back in time to the first days of their love affair. If they had continued as if the years had never come between them, she might surrender to him and her own passions. Then she would not be as capable of ending it if she discovered that his profession might be something she couldn’t handle or there was something even worse to divulge. After all, if there were any danger to him, there could be to both her and her daughters. Charles seemed the same as he had been those twenty years ago, but how could he be? Time changes everyone to some degree. Perhaps his wonderful character was only a façade. An unruly tear escaped threatening to ruin her makeup. Katherine quickly picked up a tissue and touched the offending drop. A deep breath and a resolution that she would forget about all that for the night. Tonight would be for romance only… and no sex, she added as an afterthought.