“ Okay you two well,have a great weekend and see you when it's time for the night count. You still have to do that the next two nights. Someone will be here to see you at ten.” he said walking out the door.
We both stood there a few moments silently looking at one another before Terrence slowly walked over to the door and locked it.
“ I'm glad you came Dana” he said a slow smile spreading across his face. “ I appreciate it. I know it wasn't easy going through all you had to just to make it to this room.”
“ This weekend better be damn good Terrence. Checking in was the most humiliating experience I've ever gone through. I've done some things to be with you I've never even considered.”
“ I know you have. I hope by the end of the weekend you feel like I'm worth it. I keep telling you that, but I know you have to feel it for yourself. I know it's hard to see given my situation right now but trust me. Haven't I done everything I said I would and then some concerning you so far?”
“ You keep saying that...I don't know it though. You're my husband and I don't know anything about you.” I said wringing my hands together. I don't know why my palms were so sweaty all of a sudden.
“ Dana we've been married for months now. Our conversations don't mean anything to you? They've come to mean a lot to me. You know more about me than you think you do. I intend to make every minute count this weekend so you don't feel like that anymore. Can we start by me hugging and kissing my wife? I haven't kissed you since the day we got married...and I'm sorry baby but that really didn't count. You kissed me on the cheek.” Terrence said laughing.
“ All those strange people were there Terrence! Might I also add it was a week after I first laid eyes on you. The third time I'd even seen you.” I said shaking my head.
“ Well by no means just because you're here do I want you to feel pressured....,”
“ No pressure? I find that hard to believe. We're together but the clock is ticking. It's already ten minutes after nine. We don't have a minute to waste.” I was a wreck. My nerves were all over the place.
Terrence walked over to the small dinette table I was standing near until he was towering over me. I took a few nervous steps back and leaned my head back to look him in the eyes. My heart felt like it was swimming in a sea of warm, sweet chocolate just looking in his eyes but my mind was warning me to be careful. I didn't want to offend him but I couldn't help being a little bit scared and a whole lot intimidated by him. Besides even though there were guards nearby,it was my first time being all alone with him and he was a convict.
We'd spent countless hours talking over the last few months during our visits. Terrence told me about his past affiliations with selling drugs and it was still hard for me to accept the fact that was his lifestyle. I wasn't completely innocent to the ways of the world but I'd never openly associated with people who sold drugs. I didn't have a problem letting anyone know that in that regard I'd grown up sheltered and with the exception of the situation my father had put me in six months ago ,all my life I'd never wanted for anything.
“ It's not going to always be like this Dana. When I get out I hope you decide to still be my wife. I actually think this has taught me a lot. You shouldn't take the time you do have with your loved ones for granted. People should spend every minute with their loved ones as if it's their last.” Terrence said taking Dana's soft hands in his.
“ Let's just enjoy our time getting to know each other okay? No pressure. Just you and I getting to know each other a little deeper. You makin' me feel bad ma. You over here shaking an shit. I'd never hurt you Dana. I need for you to believe that about me if you don't believe nothing else.”
Dana's body sagged a little as she exhaled.
“ How do you know how to do that?”
“ What?”
“ It's like you know exactly what to say to me to make me want to know you a little more every time. I keep waiting for you to say something to make me run from this crazy ass situation we're in but it's not happening. You keep pulling me in more and more. You might just be running some crazy game on me. I hear that's what all you men in jail do anyway. You might be saying the same thing to five other women right now.” I said suddenly angry with myself. I was an idiot. Terrence jail or no jail was too goddamn fine to just be talking to me. Writing just to me. Who else was coming to visit him on the days I wasn't here?
“ That's what you really think about me Dana? When you look at me, when you come visit,after you hang up the phone from talking to me every day...sometimes twice a day. That's what you feel?Those are the only thoughts that come to your mind when you think about me is that I gotta be some low-life ass nigga sittin' in my cell writing 50 letters a day to women? To what Dana? Put money on my books? Send me pictures to jack my dick too?
I'ma say some shit to you right now that I hope I never have to say again. At this moment right now,even with me locked up Dana, you don't bring nothing to my table but you. You feel what I'm saying? I'm paying your bills to make it easy on you. That wasn't even part of our deal mind you. Not the other way around. I do that because even though I ain't never even touched you, you're still my wife and I'm a man who takes care of mine. I ain't never kissed your lips, tasted your pussy or been inside you and trust me when I say plenty niggas around here gettin' that on visiting day. I ain't never came at you like that have I? And it ain't like I don't want it from you because I damn sure do.” Terrence said stepping into my personal space leaving me nowhere to go. Nowhere to escape. Terrence literally had my back against the wall.
I felt my breath quicken with just the simple touch of his hands. I took a deep breath hoping to quell the surge of heat I could feel building at being so close to him but as I looked into his eyes I didn't see that happening anytime soon. Terrence pulled me close to him and bent down gently placing his lips on mine,his tongue parted my lips and slipped inside. I slowly melted into him,wrapping my hands around his waist, my arms seemed to have a mind of their own as they they traveled up his muscular back. Terrence's lips scattered kisses all over my jawline and then blazed a path down my neck ,my entire body was coming to life under the deliberate touch of his hands and mouth.
* * * *
9. Mine
Terrence
I willed himself to break the kiss. I damn sure didn't want to but I didn't want to rush Dana no matter how much I wanted her right now. It was hard as hell too. Can you imagine not being touched by a woman in almost two years? For some reason this shit felt even worse to me because for some crazy fuckin' reason I wanted to be touched in the worst way by this woman. Dana. My wife. I don't know how this shit happened so quick,but my “ marriage” wasn't turning out to be quite how I thought it would be.
Crazy as the whole idea was, I thought I would just get a down female on my side. I wanted someone to handle certain things for me I needed done while I was still in and I didn't want it to be my sister. I for damn sure wasn't letting my mama handle my business. My mama hadn't handled her own since I was 15. When this shit came up with Dana's tuition, I figured why not? She'd owe me,feel obligated and we'd take the shit from there. The fucked up thing was, I hadn't even asked her to do the shit I thought I wanted her for! All that mattered to me was that she was stress free and finishing up her school. I wanted that for her because for the last six months, a huge part of our conversations centered around her career. I can't even lie, I admired that shit. Dana had a passion for something and she was determined to follow her dreams. Not many people could say that. Most of us just got stuck in situations and had to deal with the hand we were dealt. Like me.
Now here I am done fucked up for real and caught feelings for her ass. Dana got me over here standing in the muthafuckin' phone lines to talk to her ass sometimes twice a day. Making late night phone calls occasionally on my secret cell which I really didn't too much like using unless I had too. Making sure my man hooked me up extra tight in the barber shop every Saturday before she comes to visit- Shit a nigga gotta do a
ll he can to shine in this orange jumpsuit. I'm writing letters every week.
I don't even know who the fuck I am anymore. I don't do shit like this for women. Any woman.
Basically I'm doing all the shit with Dana, I didn't want to do with my ex Camyrn and I knew damn well she would have rode out this little bit of time with me. I wasn't into Camyrn like that though. So I didn't want to put in that little bit of effort for Camyrn even though a nigga ain't got nothing but time up in this muthafucka. Now look at my ass? Done caught feeling for a broad I barely know.
“ That was worth waiting for. I'm glad it was private and between us. I ain't gon' even lie Dana. I was feeling some type a way when you hit me with the bullshit kiss on the cheek on our wedding day,but now I understand it. That wasn't our real wedding day anyway.”I said with a smile on my face. Dana and I had agreed that once I was released, if we made it another solid year married,we'd do our shit up the right way. Something in me was determined to see her walking down the aisle towards me in a white wedding gown designed by her. It was gonna happen. I was positive.
“ Me too. It seems like I've been waiting for this forever and when I blink my eyes this visit will be over. You're going to make me want something that I can't have. I'm scared Terrence.” Dana said her voice shaking. Dana by no means wanted to put a damper on the time they did have together but she couldn't help but note that every minute that passed between them counted.
How much of her heart and soul could she squeeze into three days and two nights so that Terrence would understand just how deeply she'd fallen in love with him?
“ I know baby. Let's just make the most of the time we do have okay. Dana I promise you on my life. You'll never be in this position again. Ever. Honestly, I'd considered not having you come for one of these visits at all but I can't lie after all our talks and conversations...your letters. I couldn't wait to be around you. Even if it was just for a weekend.”
“ If you want to stay married to me Terrence you damn well better mean it. This right here...,” Dana said waving her hand and looking around the tiny trailer, “...I'm not made for it. This will be the one and only time I ever visit a man I love behind bars.” Dana couldn't stop the tears that began to smart in the corner of her eyes. She looked away hoping Terrence didn't see.
He had.
“ You love me?” I asked turning her head back towards me.
“ No. I..., I don't know what the hell this is I'm feeling but you know what I mean Terrence. If you plan on living your life doing things that land you behind bars,don't involve me in that bullshit. That's all I'm saying. I don't have that much experience with men anyways and this just makes me feel like I jumped in way over my head. I don't know what I'm doing.” Dana said looking up at me her green eyes wide with fear.
Damn. I can see it in her eyes, she's really scared to love me. I ain't gon' lie, the look in her eyes put a little fear in my heart just then. It made me realize just how innocent she was about a lot of things. I was used to chicks around the neighborhood who were pretty much up on game. Out to see what they could get from a nigga off jump. Be it shopping trips,bills paid a Happy Meal shit,anything.
All Dana wanted to do was work her way to the top. And here I was, a detour in her plans but she was trusting me not to fuck her over. I know good and well that wasn't no slip of the tongue about loving me. I can hear it in her voice every time we speak, Dana is deeply in love with me. She just may not realize it yet.
“ I understand. But let me say this Dana, ain't nothing about me and what we have going supposed to add no confusion to your life. That's not what this is about Dana...,”
“ Well what is it about? Because I still don't know...”
“ I want balance Dana. I want some peace. That's what I want you to bring to me. I want a best-friend. I want you to tell me when I'm doing wrong because let me tell you baby girl, two years ago out in them streets? I wasn't nothing nice. But I want better. I got my mom and Tamera out there yeah,but why you think I did all the shit I did out in them streets? For them Dana, since I was 15 years old. So baby believe me when I say, when I walk out them doors in a few short months,they ain't gonna have my back. They ain't gonna be the two women telling me to do right. You know why? Because if I do right, they lose out. They ain't gonna benefit from it.” I said staring deep into her eyes,.
I needed to know she felt every word I was saying because I'd been battling with those very words in my head alone for damn near two years. From the day I'd stepped into prison. I needed Dana to know that I needed someone for me. Just me. I needed someone that actually cared about me doing the right thing.
The look in her eyes told me she understood.
I pulled her closer to me and raised her arms around my neck holding her as tight as I could. Inhaling her scent. Brown sugar and vanilla. After standing there a few minutes holding each other Dana finally pulled away.
“ Okay I'm done being sad for now. Let's really get this visit started.” Dana said laughing as she walked to the table and dug through the box of goodies she's been allowed to bring.
“ Do you want to change out of that?” Dana said wrinkling her nose pointing to my prison issued outfit.
“ Hell yeah! Did you bring me something?” I said walking over.
“ Of course I did. I know you didn't think I wanted to spend all weekend looking at you in that orange jumpsuit did you? I hope what I bought fits you. I was trying to surprise you.” Dana walked to her hanging suit bag. It held some of her clothes in addition to three outfits she'd packed and brought for Terrence. There was nothing in the rule book that said she couldn't bring Terrence something to wear. Of course when she left she'd have to take it all back with her. Prisoners all had to wear the same orange jumpsuits.
Dana pulled out three plastic hangers all containing complete outfits. She then reached into her duffel bag and pulled out a pack of boxers and socks. She'd hooked him up from head to toe including silk pajama bottoms for later on. She could only imagine how rough his prison issued clothing were,not to mention how many men before him had worn it.
“ You get changed while I put away this stuff. I'm going to try and make this place as homey as I possibly can for the weekend.” Dana said smiling at him.
I looked around and laughed, “ Do your worst baby and it would make this place look better.” I said walking into the bedroom of our little weekend “ love nest” .
I'd already showered earlier but once I got a look at all the shit Dana had brought with her I was ready to go again. Good soap, lotion that didn't feel like damn water, all her hair care products even cologne. I don't know how she knew Issey Miyake was my favorite but she damn sure had a bottle of it for me. I was in heaven. Damn I never thought I was one of those type a nigga into all this metro-sexual ass shit but I am today,I thought stepping into the shower,setting all the products I wanted to use inside.
I couldn't even lie, it felt good to know that Dana had looked out for me this way as simple as it was. Every time I laid eyes on Dana she looked runway ready. At least for these few days I would feel like my old self thanks to Dana. Dante' down in the prison barber shop had lined me up yesterday so the clothes and just being in her presence just made me feel all the better. And a nigga was about to eat some decent food for a change too?
* * * *
10.Weekend Wifey
Dana
I looked under the kitchen cabinet and found they did have cleaning supplies. Overall the place was pretty clean. I can imagine they had someone come here and clean things up before our visit. Besides I'm sure this place doesn't get that much use? Who knows maybe it does,hell Terrence and I got married and requested conjugal visits. I can only imagine how many other men have done the same thing so they can have visits with their wives...or insta-wives I should say! I couldn't help but laugh. I heard the water going and tried not to imagine Terrence in the shower,water cascading down his muscular body. I'd almost died on the spot when I was wrapped in his arms moments ag
o Terrence felt so good. No one was gawking at us, telling us to break apart. This was how it should be for newlyweds. I was a new bride,it felt good to finally feel like it if only for two three days.
Dammit I know this whole thing is crazy but I want my husband. Fuck it. I'm shy but not that shy. I'm just gonna go in here and kiss on him a little bit. What harm could that be?
I walked into the bedroom quickly before I changed my mind. Oh no he ain't in here singing. The nigga don't sound half bad either, I thought shedding all my clothes. I took off my bra and paused when I got to my white lace panties. Fuck it! This is my husband, I thought stepping out of them and walking into the bathroom. I slowly pulled back the shower curtain and gazed at my husbands beautiful body. I can't lie, I almost wanted to laugh he was covered in so many soap suds, head thrown back with his eyes closed singing Maxwell's “ Fortunate” I guess a blast of cold air must have hit his ass because he turned and looked down at me shaking his head.
I immediately knew what he was thinking. We'd already agreed we'd save our first sexual experience together for when he was released. I stepped in the tub behind him and grabbed the sudsy towel from his hand and began washing him from behind. I ran the towel over the wide expanse of his muscular back to his firm ass. Terrence was so tall the water was barely hitting me but it didn't matter. I was wet as hell. No water needed. Terrence turned around to face me and my eyes unconsciously gravitated towards his dick Jesus Christ! It was huge! Not that I had a lot of dicks to personally compare Terrence to but his had to be abnormally large. Not that it was a bad thing,it was a pretty dick. Can a dick be pretty? I thought. I have no idea but my husbands is, I answered my own question confidently.
“ What the fuck are you doing to me Dana? You're tempting a beast right now. I thought we both made the decision to wait?”
“ Umm,we are but I still want to be close to you.”
Terrence turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. I quickly followed him,wrapping a towel around my wet body. Terrence gently rubbed my body down helping me dry off and our eyes met. I couldn't quite read his expression but I didn't have to guess long. Before I could form another thought I was pinned beneath Terrence's body, my legs quickly wrapped around his waist and my hips began to gyrate,seeking him out in the most intimate way. My body wanted him so badly it was almost painful. Terrence's lips trailed down my neck and collarbone until one of my nipples was in his mouth. He began to lap and tug at each of my breasts, every pull of my nipples made my pussy clench.