Chapter 3
Joseph waited for Mary in Nain. She had been with her cousin Elizabeth for three months. He hadn’t heard a thing from her except the message sent to fetch her from Nain. At least she had asked that much. He had approached her father a few weeks ago in desperation. Jehoram had been very evasive about his daughter so he knew something was terribly wrong. The family had looked weighed down with a secret sorrow. Joseph began to suspect that Mary was ill. Maybe she had taken time away from the wedding preparations to recuperate. He hoped that she was well enough to marry.
He loved her dearly. As soon as he had seen her at the market day, when she’d desperately asked for help for Zidda and Sarah, he had fallen in love with her. He’d never thought he would be marrying so soon but Mary had changed that. She was so beautiful in a simple, fresh way, but it was her internal beauty that drew him. There was something about her – she seemed to have a deep awareness of spiritual things and a gentle concern for every detail of his life. That’s why the last few months had been very painful for him. He had just started off the business on his own and needed her support, longed for her affirmation that he was doing a good job and she had distanced herself from him. It was not like her. She’d always been unselfishly interested in everything he achieved.
He stood in the hot sun and wiped his brow. Would Mary manage to share the horse with him if she were ill? Then he saw her walking with a group of travellers. Her face was glowing despite the heat and the long journey. She wore a strange loose robe that made her shapely figure appear bulky. Had she put on weight from the illness? He ran to her, longing to hear her sweet voice and to see her joyful face.
She saw him and her face lit up. His heart thrilled at her smile.
“Mary! I missed you so much.” He ignored the curious glances of the other travellers. “How has your journey been?”
“Difficult,” she sighed. She slowed her walking, and he could see the strain on her body with her stooped shoulders and shaky steps. She was carrying a heavy sack.
“Thank you for coming for me, Joseph. I’m sorry.”
He knew she was apologizing for the last few months.
“Seeing you makes up for all the waiting and questions,” he said, grasping her hand.
“Oh, Joseph.” He heard sorrow in her voice, and a knife cut into his heart. Something was terribly wrong. He took her heavy sack. What was in it?
“Come with me, Mary. We will ride on the horse together to Nazareth. Then you can tell me everything. I’ve been so worried about you.”
Her face fell. “I can’t share the horse with you Joseph.”
“Why? What’s wrong with you?” He waited for the diagnosis. He had to know. She took him aside, away from the crowd of travellers. He led her to the horse.
“I am five months pregnant.” She looked at him, her face resolute but filled with sorrow.
Joseph stared at her, unable to process the words she spoke. “I don’t understand.”
“Joseph, I have not been unfaithful to you. An angel appeared to me five months ago and told me that the Holy Spirit’s power would come upon me, and I would have a child. That child would be great and be called the Son of God. He would have the throne of his father David forever. It’s so wonderful Joseph. The angel told me that my elderly cousin Elizabeth who had been barren was with child. I went to see her, and as soon as she saw me she prophesied over me. She said that I was the “Mother of the Lord.” We spent a glorious three months together, studying the Messiah in the Law and waiting on the Lord.”
Joseph didn’t really take in all that Mary had said. All he could think about was “five months pregnant.” He had been righteous towards Mary and never taken advantage of her beauty. So how? And all these strange visions she had spoken about. Were they a cover-up?
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“Because I was afraid. My family don’t believe me. I didn’t think you would either. I was afraid to hurt you, to make you think I had been unfaithful to you.”
“Come. Let’s get you to Nazareth. You ride on the horse and I will walk beside you. It will be a long journey, but we must start straight away.” He helped her onto the horse, feeling her extra weight. He swung the heavy sack over his shoulder. Whose child was she bearing? An overpowering wave of jealousy washed over him. Then he had a thought. It stole the jealousy but filled him with rage. Had a man violated her? That would explain it. She loved him. She couldn’t have betrayed him. They rode in silence for some time, Joseph unable to ask her. He watched her face and couldn’t understand the peace upon it. Was she crazy? Did she have problems in her mind that she was accepting her fate so easily?
“Mary, who violated you?” he asked gruffly after they had taken the turn-off to the quiet country road. “I will take him to the Pharisees to be stoned.”
“No, Joseph, I haven’t been violated by anyone. I am still a virgin.” She blushed slightly as he stared at her.
He swallowed an angry retort. He couldn’t believe the audacity of this woman that she would make up these silly stories to cover her sin. Could he still marry her? He loved her, but did she love another man? Was she crazy? As they continued in silence, the only explanation he could come to was that she had made up the story to hide her shame. The anger, hurt and jealousy churned inside of him, making him feel sick. The heavy bag was digging into the flesh on his shoulder. He moved it to the other side.
“What’s in this bag?”
“Elizabeth has given me larger clothing for the next few months. She had her baby, Joseph, and they called him John. Zechariah couldn’t talk after he received the vision in the temple because he didn’t believe that God would give Elizabeth a child straight away. He couldn’t speak until John was born. The baby was filled with the Holy Spirit when he was born.”
Joseph just stared at her. Was she making all this up? Could it be true? It was too way-out. God used people like the priests and prophets. Zechariah was a priest, but Mary was just a common woman from a poor family.
It was better that he broke the betrothal in secret once they returned home. Although the hurt was overwhelming for him, he couldn’t shame Mary. If he exposed her, she may be stoned. He cared for her family too. They would be devastated if she were stoned.
The resolution burned within him all the way back to Nazareth until a full-blown plan had developed in his mind. He would speak to Mary’s father first and break the news to him gently. Then he would inform Mary. If people asked why their betrothal was broken, he would say that he didn’t have the money to support her yet, with taking over the shop from his father. There would be less wagging of tongues. It sounded feasible. Mary could stay in seclusion in her own home until the baby was born. And even then, she would always be a recluse. It served her right. She’d chosen her own fate. Hadn’t she thought before she’d slept with the other man? Who was he? The questions burned within him and he nearly missed the turn-off to Mary’s home. He would arrange to speak to Jehoram tomorrow once he’d slept after the journey. He couldn’t face up to it now – the anger and hurt was too strong and he may say something foolish.
How could she? How could God let this happen? The only woman he’d ever loved. And she had wickedly betrayed him. He’d been righteous all his life, followed the law as best he knew how. Why was God punishing him with this betrayal? With each step he took, the anger and betrayal threaded through his being like a poison. He couldn’t look at her any more. He couldn’t look into her eyes. He walked up to her house and took her down from the horse. Ignoring her, he walked into the house. She followed behind him. Michel, Mary’s mother, came at the sound of footsteps, her face lined with worry and sorrow. When she saw Mary she ran up to her and hugged her.
“Why have you been away so long?”
“Mother, I’m sorry. We were studying the Torah, and I waited until Elizabeth had her child.”<
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“Mary, you can’t do these things.”
“She also received a miracle from God, Mama.” Mary’s voice sounded subdued, as though she was beginning to realize no-one would believe her.
“Mary, look at you. You are heavy with child. Joseph, thank you so much for helping Mary.” She studied his face. “I presume you have only just seen Mary after five months. I’m sorry.”
“I will speak with Jehoram tomorrow. Will that suit you?”
“Yes, Joseph.” Her face was strained, and her eyes dusted with fear.
“Do not fear, Michel.” He touched her arm to reassure her.
She nodded.
Joseph ran out the room. He couldn’t bear to see Mary’s form anymore – it mocked him. It said that he wasn’t enough for her, that another man was better.
Mary lay on her mat in the living area, listening to the sounds of her family working around her, packing away her maternity clothes into the corner and cleaning the supper dishes. She couldn’t bear to look at them. All they did was stare at her, their faces filled with sorrow and fear. She wished they believed what the angel had said. They would know God’s joy if only they believed. And Joseph was furious with her. He also didn’t believe her! His quiet seething all the way back to Nazareth was the most painful arrow into her heart. She had kept quiet, knowing that only