“He didn’t today, he went off-line,” Elvira told me.
“Why didn’t he forward his phone to you?” I asked.
“Why does the earth go ‘round the sun? Because he’s Hawk. You don’t question Hawk. He just does what he does when he does it and you go with the flow,” Elvira answered.
“Is this operation so intense he can’t call back?” I pressed.
“Don’t know, hon, sorry to say,” Elvira replied and sounded like she was.
“Should I call him again?” I asked. “Does he check his voicemail?”
“Sure, if I’m not takin’ messages for him,” Elvira responded.
That ray of hope died.
I’d said I was sorry. I didn’t know much about his operations but anyone had a moment in their day to check their voicemail and mine said I was sorry. If I cared about someone and they told me they were sorry in a voicemail, I would call them and put them out of their misery. It had been seven hours and he hadn’t put me out of my misery.
Maybe the giggling pissed him off.
I dropped my head to the table again.
“Gwen,” Cam said softly.
“I was falling in love with him,” I told my lap and I heard three, quick, feminine intakes of breath. “Deep,” I finished on a whisper then lifted my head, “and I fucked it up.”
“He’s busy, babe, don’t jump to conclusions,” Cam stated.
“Every time I see him, every time he touches me, I get butterflies,” I whispered.
“Oh boy,” Elvira murmured.
“Scott didn’t even do that to me,” I shared.
“Who’s Scott?” Elvira enquired.
“Her ex-husband and Denver’s Patron of Dickheadedness,” Tracy answered.
“Ah,” Elvira replied, that one syllable full of understanding.
“You didn’t tell me about the butterflies,” Cam whispered.
“I denied them,” I whispered back. “They scared me.”
Cam’s face gentled. “Oh babe.”
“He’s bossy and annoying and intrusive and lives a narrow life and demands emotional closeness but keeps distant but that last part is because he lost his wife and his little daughter,” I went on. “And she was cute. He showed me a picture. She was wearing pink. She looked like him. She had the best of both of them in her.” Cam, Elvira and Tracy kept gentle eyes on me and I kept on. “But he thinks I’m funny and Dad and Meredith adore him and we banter and I like it. It’s fun and it’s safe, though I didn’t know it at the time, and he holds me while we sleep and he’s an unbelievably good kisser and even better in bed. He gave me four orgasms in thirty minutes and I didn’t even know that was physically possible.”
“Four orgasms in thirty minutes?” Elvira breathed.
“Four orgasms in thirty minutes,” I confirmed
Elvira put her hand flat on the table and her upper body started teetering as she mumbled, “Lordy.”
“Maybe we should get the smelling salts,” Tracy noted, her eyes on Elvira.
“Babe, I don’t have smelling salts,” Cam returned.
“I need to quit,” Elvira announced. “I gotta turn in my resignation. I can’t work with a man knowin’ his capacity to give pleasure. I mean, I can work with a man guessin’ his capacity to give pleasure but not knowin’ it. This is it. I hit the threshold. I never understood TMI. In my opinion, no amount of information is too much information but I’ve found it. I’m here.”
“You can’t quit because of me!” I hissed. “I get the sense that Hawk likes you and depends on you. If you have someone like that, you don’t want to lose them. He can’t lose you because I told you he can give multiple orgasms!”
“Those four orgasms were a multiple?” Elvira asked.
“No, those were mostly separate. He can only pull off three in a one-go multiple,” I answered.
“Holy crap,” Tracy breathed.
“No joke?” Cam asked.
Elvira teetered so I put my hand on her so she wouldn’t go down and looked at Cam. “Why do you think I let him keep coming at night? I told you he was good but he’s not good, he’s good.”
“Stop talkin’,” Elvira whispered. “Where’s the martini shaker? I need a reload.”
Cam got up and sauntered to the counter.
Then it hit me. “My God, if he doesn’t forgive me, I’m ruined for all other men.”
“Gwennie, honey, really, don’t stress. It hasn’t even been a day,” Tracy soothed.
Cam started pouring vodka into the shaker and decreed, “All right, this is serious for you and obviously he had reasons to be a motherfucking asshole meaning he actually never was one. So, you called, left a voicemail, said you were sorry. You wait. He doesn’t call you back by one-thirty tomorrow, you call again. Voicemails can get missed. He’s there, you explain and apologize again. He’s not there, you leave another voicemail. He doesn’t call back, say, for two days, you know where he’s at, you make a batch of cookie dough, you call us and we’ll all come over and eat it.”
Thank God. A plan.
That was all I needed.
I took in a breath, checked Elvira to make sure she was steady, let her go and looked at Cam.
“Thanks, babe.”
Camille nodded her head and poured in cranberry juice.
“He’ll call,” Tracy whispered and my eyes moved to her. She smiled her hopeful smile.
I smiled back but mine felt shaky.
Chapter Thirty-One
She’s My Sister
I lay on my side, my knees curled up to my chest in Cam and Leo’s guest bedroom and I flipped opened the phone, went to contacts, scrolled down and hit go.
I immediately got Hawk’s, “Talk.”
“Hi,” I whispered. “I don’t know if you got my other voicemail but I wanted you to know, I drove over to Cam and Leo’s tonight and had enough to drink, it wasn’t safe to drive home so I’m spending the night.” I paused. “I just… wanted you to know where I am.” I paused again then kept whispering. “I hope, even after what happened this morning, that you managed to have a good day, baby.”
Then I flipped the phone shut and stared at it.
God, I was such an idiot.
I tapped the phone on my forehead and then put it on the nightstand.
It was nearly midnight. Over ten hours since I called.
Shit.
I tucked my hands under my cheek and closed my eyes tight thinking maybe I should have texted.
Then I heard a scratching at the window.
My eyes flew open and I shot up to an elbow in the bed. I stared out the opened curtains and my heart squeezed.
Ginger was standing there, partially illuminated by streetlights and the entire left side of her face was swollen, bruised, bleeding and mangled.
“Gwennie,” I heard her pained whisper.
I didn’t think. I threw the bedclothes back and raced from the room, the panels of Cam’s long, sexy, satin nightgown that would make Meredith’s mouth water and had slits up each side practically to my hips tangling with my legs. I went straight to the front door, unlocked it, threw it open and dashed out, running and frantic. I made it to the edge of the house, turned and collided headlong with something big, hard and solid.
I looked up into Hawk’s face.
“Gwen,” he said, “get back in the house.”
“Ginger,” I whispered worriedly, rounded him, started to fly and stopped dead.
Ginger was down on her ass, back to the house under the guest bedroom window. Her knees up, her head bowed.
I ran to her, yanked up the panel to my nightgown and dropped to my knees beside her.
“Honey, look at me,” I whispered but she didn’t raise her head and she was breathing funny. “Ginger, honey, please,” I begged, reaching out to take her chin gently and lift her face to me.
I saw it and sucked in breath. It was worse close up. A lot worse.
Hawk crouched low at her other side, took her chin from my hand into his own and carefully
pulled her head his way. He had his phone at his other ear and he spoke as he scanned my sister’s face.
“I need a pick up at Freeman’s for Gwen and guards to stay with her at the warehouse until I get there. We were right, Ginger was going to her and she’s here. Call Doc, he needs to head out, she’s a fuckin’ mess. Safe house. Then call Lawson, he’s up.” He stopped talking a moment then said, “Out.”
He flipped his phone shut and shoved it into his cargoes.
“You havin’ trouble breathin’?” he asked Ginger.
“Ribs,” Ginger replied.
“Fuck,” Hawk muttered. “Can you handle me carrying you into the house?”
Ginger ignored him. “No cops.”
“Your plays aren’t workin’, Ginger, you’re gonna try mine.”
“No cops,” she repeated and I reached out and grabbed her hand, holding on tight.
“You love your sister?” Hawk asked suddenly and Ginger pulled her chin away from his hand, then she whimpered. “I asked you a question,” he pushed.
“She’s my sister,” Ginger answered and the tears hit my eyes, no warning this time, they just hit them and spilled over.
And they did this because this meant yes.
I moved closer and held her hand harder.
“Then trust me to do right by you,” Hawk replied, knowing what she meant.
“You can’t fix this,” Ginger told him.
“I sure as fuck can try,” Hawk returned and looked at me. “Let her go, I need to get her up.”
I let her go and Hawk leaned in and lifted Ginger in his arms. This didn’t cause whimpers, it caused moans. I raced ahead of him, swiping at my face, opened the front door and left it open while I moved around the room turning on lights. Hawk came in and laid Ginger down on the couch while I moved down the hall. Leo was already out of his bedroom and I rushed to him.
“I’m so sorry, she found me, Ginger’s here,” I told him quietly.
“Fuck,” he muttered and Cam came out, her eyes alert.
“Ginger’s here,” I told her.
“Fuck,” she muttered.
I raced away and Leo and Cam followed me. Ginger was on the couch, Hawk was nowhere.
This alarmed me but I moved straight to Ginger and got down on my knees by the couch. I took her hand again and she turned her head away.
“We’ll get you sorted, honey, promise,” I whispered.
“Don’t call Mom and Dad, Gwen,” she told the back of the couch.
“Right now, I’m about you, Ginger.”
She turned to face me. “Don’t call Mom and Dad.”
“I won’t,” I promised.
“Promise it and mean it and not like you meant it when I told you I snuck out and met Darren Petri and then you heard he had the clap so you told on me. Promise it and mean it.”
Jeez. Darren Petri was ages ago.
“Ginger, you kept sleeping with him and he had the clap,” I reminded her.
“He was cute,” she reminded me.
She was right. He was. Still, he had the freaking clap and she told me they didn’t use protection. What was I supposed to do?
Suddenly Hawk was crouched at my side. “Gwen, reunion later if you’re lucky. Go get your shit,” he ordered and then held a dishtowel with ice to Ginger’s swollen face.
I watched her eyes close when the towel gingerly hit her skin and I could tell that felt good.
“I’m staying with Ginger.”
“Go get your shit,” Hawk repeated and I looked at him.
“Baby, I need to stay with my sister,” I whispered.
“No, Gwen, you need to trust her to my care and go get your shit,” he stated and scarily went on. “My boys’ll be here in five to take you to my place and I’m takin’ care of her. I followed her here and others followed me. She needs to be gone so your friends’ll be safe and you need to be gone. Get me?”
Oh shit. I got him.
“You’ll keep her safe?” I asked.
Hawk just looked at me.
He’d keep her safe.
I didn’t know where he and I were with our relationship but still, I lifted my hand, curled my fingers around his neck and leaned in to touch my mouth to his as my show of gratitude.
“Fuck me, I’m gonna be sick,” Ginger groaned and my mouth left Hawk’s, my hand went away from his neck and I twisted to Ginger.
“Do you need a bowl?” I asked, squeezing her hand which I still held.
“No, Gwen, fuck, at you.” Her one unswollen eye not covered in an iced up dishtowel slid to Hawk. “She’s always been gushy. It’s sick. Even somethin’ stupid, like watchin’ TV, she’d curl up to me. Fuck.”
Hawk had no response.
“I thought you liked cuddling,” I stated.
“Yeah, when I was five,” Ginger replied, I sucked in breath and prepared to retort.
“Gwen,” Hawk spoke in a warning low voice and I looked at him.
“Right,” I whispered, turned back to Ginger and pulled her hand to my mouth. “Whatever happens next, honey, and whatever we left behind, I love you and I always have. You can believe me or not. I don’t care. I need to say it and tell you I mean it. It’s your choice whether you believe it.”
Then I kissed her knuckles, let her go and raced through Cam and Leo to the guest room.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Is Everything All Right?
My guards were Fang and a man named Suarez.
Suarez was a mini-commando in the sense that he was younger than the rest and not in the sense he was less scary than the rest. His body was such that they could use it in anatomy class to teach musculature, such was the definition.
When we made it to the warehouse, Fang took his position outside, Suarez took me inside then positioned himself at the door.
I asked if he wanted coffee. He said no.
That was the extent of our conversation. This was because Suarez was clearly a conversationalist of the Fang variety but also because I didn’t have conversation in me.
Then I paced. After I paced for awhile I realized I was trembling. I wasn’t trembling because I was cold; I was trembling because I was scared. So I raced up the iron steps and went to Hawk’s wardrobe. I should have gotten dressed. But being in a Do As I’m Told mood, my clothes, jacket and shoes had hastily been stuffed in a plastic grocery bags so I could carry out Hawk’s orders and I was too wired to get dressed. I searched and found a navy blue flannel shirt of Hawk’s. Then I put it on. After I put it on, I stopped trembling.
There you go. Hawk’s superhero superpowers extended to his clothes.
Good to know.
Then I walked back down the stairs and started pacing again.
After I did this for a good long while, Suarez spoke.
“Maybe you should try to sleep,” he suggested.
Yeah, like that would happen.
“I’m not thinking that’s a possibility,” I informed him then asked, “Can I watch TV?”
“Rather be able to hear,” he answered.
Right. It was probably better that, if bad guys approached, he had advance warning.
I nodded.
Then I paced some more.
Time slid by, adrenalin seeped out and exhaustion seeped in. So I lay down on Hawk’s couch, curled up and stared at the moonlight on the scrub opposite the small-river-maybe-large-creek and thought about breaking my promise to Ginger and calling my folks. Then I thought about Ginger’s face. Then I thought about how I’d never forget Ginger’s face. Then I hoped that I’d see it again when it wasn’t bleeding, mangled and swollen.
Then I fell asleep.
My body jolted awake when I heard the loud creak of the garage door going up. Sleep shot from me and I jumped from the couch, rounding it to see Suarez facing the door looking like he was standing at modified ease, feet planted wide, hands on hips which brought one closer to the gun on his gun belt.
The garage door creaked again, the inner door opened and Hawk walked
in, my heart shifted, my stomach clutched and his eyes went to Suarez.
“Relieved,” he muttered and Suarez took off, not glancing back.
Hawk walked to me. I ran to him.
I stopped and put my hands on his chest. “How is she?” I asked.
He’d stopped and he put his hands to my upper arms. Then he lifted me right up off my feet and then planted them down so I was outside touching distance. That not being enough, he let me go and took a step back himself.
I stared at him as my insides paralyzed.
There it was. My answer. He didn’t call back because he didn’t forgive me. He so didn’t forgive me, he didn’t want me touching him or even close to his space.
At that, it was my heart that clutched to protect itself from the searing pain burning through my insides.
“She’s in the hospital under guard,” Hawk replied. “She has facial fractures, a concussion and seven broken ribs. No internal damage but the injuries to her face will require plastic surgery.”
I swallowed as new pain seared through me. Then I nodded.
“Is she…” I swallowed again, “is she safe?”
“Had a deal with Lawson,” Hawk answered, crossing his arms on his chest. “I get Ginger, I give her to him only if he brokers a deal with the Feds. She testifies and goes into protective custody. We took her to my safe house, Lawson met us there and we had a chat with her while Doc looked at her. Took awhile for Lawson and me to talk her into testifying. Then it took longer because the Feds wanted to know what she knew because she isn’t a good enough witness to merit the resources they’d need to expend to put her into protective custody and then get her into the witness protection program. She’s got a rap sheet, just misdemeanors but she’s a known drug user, hasn’t kept good company, actively participated in some not very good shit and the longest time she’s held down a job was four months workin’ at a convenience store. Not exactly an ace in the hole witness, the defense attorneys would chew her up and spit her out.”
Unfortunately, this was true.
I sucked in my lips.
“The surprise was Ginger isn’t as stupid as we thought. Ginger doesn’t only know a lot, Ginger’s been playin’ it safe and gathering insurance. She told us she’s been keepin’ diaries, she stole documents, she took pictures and even sometimes wore a wire. She might not be a good witness if she only had her word against theirs but she also has physical evidence to back up her shit. Roarke and the others knew this and this was why they were rabid for her. She was trying to use it as leverage to buy her way out but they didn’t feel like payin’ when she’d fucked them over and even if she turned over the shit, she couldn’t wipe her memory and Ginger, bein’ Ginger, would always be a threat. She gave up the location of some of it but says she has more and kept that back as incentive for the deal. Lawson and the Feds went to her location, found the shit and spent about half an hour sorting through it before they offered her the deal. I handed her over and they took her to the hospital. That means, until the trials, you won’t see your sister and she’s in the wind after.”