Chapter Twelve
Liv and Darcy stood in a tiny group of people as the Navy plane that bore the body of Mike Ugarich touched down. Though it was mid-November and the skies were cloudy, the temps were mild and balmy. Liv glanced over to where Debbie stood, dressed in black and her head lowered. Though surrounded by soldiers, it didn't appear that any family members had come to support her during this time. Liv's heart wrenched within her chest, and she raised her right hand to the area and let it rest there.
The plane taxied to a stop. What if Debbie didn't want them there? Would this only make matters worse between them?
A few minutes later, the honor guard stepped in perfect synchronization as they bore the body of a fallen comrade. They stopped in front of Debbie, who reached out to place her hand on the casket. As her friend leaned her head back to scan the cloud-covered sky, her gaze met Liv's. A grateful smile tugged at sad lips that were perfectly made up, but did nothing to cover the pain her friend certainly felt.
A weight lifted from Liv's shoulders. Maybe this small act of being present for a tough time was enough to bring Debbie around.
After the flag ceremony, they all moved to a small chapel for a brief memorial service, and only afterwards did Darcy and Liv have the opportunity to speak with Debbie.
The grieving woman's red-rimmed eyes held apology. "Thank you both for being here." She clasped Liv's hands in her own gloved hands. "I'm so sorry for the way I treated you, Liv. I know you were only trying to help."
Liv tried to respond, but the lump in her throat wouldn't permit it. Then without warning, a ferocious cramp in her lower abdomen doubled her over, both hands clasping her gut. A groan she couldn't contain escaped her lips. Lord, please don't take this baby from me.
"What's wrong?" Darcy had knelt down to make eye contact. Debbie joined her and held Liv's right arm.
This was no time for secrets. "I'm pregnant. I think you need to take me to the emergency room."
* * *
"Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?" Accusation colored Debbie's tone.
"Don't feel like the Lone Ranger, Debbie. She didn't tell me either." Darcy, who was usually so easy-going, stood with arms crossed and a hurt look on her face.
"Please don't be mad at me. I haven't told anyone." Besides, did any of this really matter with the life of her baby at stake?
Debbie's eyes widened. "Not even Jeff?"
"Not even your mother?" Darcy's face also held incredulity.
"I was waiting to surprise everyone with the announcement at Christmas, then Jeff..."
Darcy gasped. "...got deployed." Compassion oozed from her eyes as she hurried over to Liv's bed and gently embraced her. "I'm so sorry, Liv. I knew you weren't quite yourself, but I couldn't figure out why."
Dr. Amy entered the room, her face unusually stern. "The baby is okay."
A collective sigh of relief sounded around the room.
The doctor glanced briefly at both Debbie and Darcy, then turned her gaze to Liv. "You're very fortunate to have been with friends when this happened. There could have been an entirely different outcome."
Liv raised a hand to her neck, lowered her head, and sent a brief prayer of thanksgiving heavenward.
"But I'm putting you on bed rest for the remainder of your pregnancy."
Her mouth gaped open. "But I have a daughter to take care of." This couldn't have come at a worse time.
"We'll help." Debbie spoke the words firmly.
"Yes," agreed Darcy.
For the first time all day, Dr. Amy smiled. "Looks like you're all taken care of."
"But my trip to Colorado--"
"--will not take place."
Immediate tears flooded Liv's eyes. No family. No birth announcement surprises. No snow. And all that on top of her deployed husband, with whom she'd had no recent contact.
"I could drive her." The offer came from Debbie.
Dr. Amy shook her head. "Sorry, it's a no go."
Liv's thoughts flew to her new business. "And I have a photo shoot in a couple of weeks."
"You'll have to cancel." Everything about Dr. Amy screamed "No!" From her stance to the stern set of her lips and the tone of her voice.
Liv laid her head back against the pillow and stared at the ceiling. Add no work and no income to her already long list of don'ts.
Later, back at the house, Debbie and Darcy took care of all her usual chores. Debbie cooked meals while Darcy picked up Chesney and her own kids. While the kids played in the backyard, Liv laid down on the couch while the other two sat nearby.
In her typical planner mode, Darcy sat with a notebook and pen. "Okay, Liv. Let's get all this ironed out for the next couple of months."
Without hesitation, Debbie jumped in first. "I'd be happy to take care of all the meals and spend the nights here."
Liv shook her head. "No. That's way too much for you to take on."
Debbie's expression stood staunchly at attention. "It will give me something to do while I try to figure out what's next for me. I insist."
"Well, if you insist." The two shared a smile, the fragile truce between them instantly becoming more pronounced.
"I can come over while the kids are in school to wash clothes and clean." Darcy didn't even look her way, but scribbled furiously in the notebook.
Liv groaned and brought a couch pillow over her face for a moment. A minute later, she uncovered her face and eyed her two friends. "I hate that I'm disrupting your lives like this."
"Puh-lease." Now Darcy's blue eyes shot fire. "You'd do the same for us, and you know it."
She nodded. Yes, she would. That's just how military wives rolled, especially while their husbands were deployed. "I have a couple of spare keys in the drawer beside the refrigerator."
Darcy and her kids left middle of the afternoon. And after dinner, Debbie made her departure as well, but only after cleaning the kitchen and making sure Chesney had her bath.
Once Chesney was finally in bed, Liv allowed herself full vent of her emotions, something she'd felt the need to do since receiving the news that the trip to Colorado wasn't going to happen. Tears fell like they hadn't in a very long time as she once more poured out her heart to God and cried herself to sleep.
Chapter Thirteen
The following morning Liv awoke in a better frame of mind. Out of sheer exhaustion, she'd slept the entire night, something that hadn't happened since before she got the news that Jeff would be deployed. From the kitchen she smelled breakfast cooking, evidence that Debbie was already here. She smiled and pulled herself to a sitting position. Maybe bed rest wouldn't be so bad after all, especially if she could look at it as being on vacation with a private chef, chauffeur, and housekeeper.
Her happy mood dissipated somewhat at the thought. If that were true, it would be much easier to accept than adding more to her friends' busy schedule. Just as quickly, she was reminded of how badly things could have turned out the previous day. She breathed out another prayer of gratitude for the baby's safety, resolved to do a better job for her and her family. Why had she been so focused on her own hurt and resentment than taking care of her family? The smells and sounds from the kitchen raised her head once more. "Hello? Debbie, is that you?"
Debbie appeared in the doorway a second later. "Well, it's about time you woke up, sleepyhead." A kind smile appeared on her face. "Looks like you rested well. Darcy has taken Chesney to school. I'm here to fix you breakfast and lunch. Darcy has lined up some ladies from church to fill in as needed. Ready for some pancakes?"
Liv didn't object, suddenly overwhelmed by the unselfishness and graciousness of so many. The miraculous change in Debbie was also a point of thanksgiving. Previously, her friend's carefree lifestyle had always seemed a little on the self-centered side, though also enviable. "I'm sorry about this, Debbie. I didn't mean to be a burden to anyone."
Debbie just smiled, but turned and left the room. A few minutes later she was back with two plates of pancakes, one of which
she handed to Liv. "About you being a burden, you're not. I don't mind at all. To be honest, I'm grateful."
Liv took a bite of the pancakes and let them melt away in her mouth. She sighed in satisfaction. "These are the best pancakes I've ever tasted. Why didn't you tell me you were such a great cook?" She took another bite. And another.
"First let me finish what I was saying. Then I'll tell you how I learned to cook." She hesitated, as though uncomfortable. "And if you don't mind, I'd also like to run a business idea past you to see what you think."
"Sure." Liv continued to eat. Man, she was going to gain weight like crazy if all Debbie's meals were this good.
"I'm grateful for this time. Helping you takes my mind off my own problems and makes me feel good. And trust me, I haven't felt that way in a very, very long time." Debbie's eyes filled with happy tears.
That was enough to make Liv stop eating the scrumptious pancakes. Against doctor's orders, she slid from the bed, stepped to where Debbie stood, and hugged her neck. "Then I will forever be grateful for the doctor ordering bed rest."
Both of them laughed as Liv crawled back into bed. Debbie launched into talk about how she'd learned to cook and her desire to open a small cafe in downtown Pensacola. Her voice grew more excited as she revealed her plan to open her own business.
"I think it sounds like a great idea." Liv kept her gaze glued on her friend. How she wanted Debbie to be encouraged and find hope. "You could also look into catering and a food truck."
Debbie's perfectly manicured brows shot upward, and she nodded. "I hadn't even thought of those two options."
From her position in bed, Liv saw Debbie's wheels start to turn. The two talked and dreamed for almost an hour before Liv eventually gave way to the drowsiness that seemed to dog her steps nowadays.
That afternoon, after lunch, Chesney burst through the bedroom door, her pink backpack flying behind her. "Guess what, Mommy?"
"What, doll?" Liv tugged her daughter into her arms and kissed her cheek.
"We're going to do a Christmas program, and I'm an angel."
Type-casting at its finest. Liv smiled. "That sounds wonderful." She latched onto Chesney's hand and swung it back and forth.
Chesney yanked her hand away, unzipped her bag, and rummaged through it. "I have a note in my bag from Miss Cindy. She said she needs volun...um, volun..."
"Volunteers?"
"Yeah, that!" Her eyes took on a pleading look. "Can you be what Miss Cindy needs?"
Discomfort rose inside Liv. How unfair that this bed rest would derive her and her daughter of this very special and precious opportunity. And how did she explain it to Chesney in a way she could understand? Another sudden thought rained down on Liv. In addition to telling Chesney, she somehow had to let her Mom know this latest turn of events, and that she and Chesney wouldn't be coming for Christmas after all. She'd put it off long enough.
Darcy entered the room. "Not sure the doctor will let your mom out of bed to volunteer, Ches, but maybe she can make decorations or invitations."
Liv smiled her appreciation. Leave it to Darcy to make them both feel better with a great way to follow doctor's orders and help with the preparations.
Later that night, Chesney snuggled up next to Liv on the couch, obviously eager for the next part of the story. Debbie sat nearby crocheting an afghan.
Liv's thoughts carried her away for a moment. Debbie had never shown any sort of craftiness in all the time they'd known one another. "You don't strike me as the crocheting type." The words popped from her mouth unexpectedly.
Thankfully, Debbie laughed at the spur-of-the-moment comment. "I haven't done it in a very long time, but I'm enjoying it. Gives me something to do with my hands and head. You know, to keep me from thinking too much on the wrong things."
A smile pulled Liv's lips apart. Pretty, talented, and smart. There was more to Debbie than just a beautiful exterior. Liv sent up a silent prayer. Lord, let Debbie hear this most special part of the big story. Let her heart be opened to receive it and You.
Liv opened her Bible. "Finally it happened, Chesney."
"The Fixer?" Her daughter's eyes held wonder.
"Yes. Just like God's promises had said it would. He sent a Fixer to take care of all the mess-ups of people who had ever lived and all the people who would live. He came to earth as a baby boy and was laid in a manger."
"What's a manger?"
An amused expression appeared on Debbie's face, but she said nothing as she continued to crochet.
Liv thought through possible answers. "Mmmm...well, it's sort of like a horse trough."
"What's that?"
"A horse eats out of it." Debbie muttered the words, but didn't look up from her work.
"The Fixer was born in a stinky old barn?" Chesney's nose wrinkled. "Why would God do that?"
Now Debbie looked up. "Great question."
Liv shifted her gaze from Debbie to Chesney. "It was part of God's plan. There were lots of things that were special and different about Jesus."
Her daughter's eyes grew big and round. "Jesus is the Fixer?"
"Yes, and He brought lots of surprises during His time on earth."
"Like what?"
"Like miracles and wonderful teaching." Liv paused, searching for the right words. "But the most special thing was that He came to die for our mess-ups."
Debbie stopped crocheting, but her eyes were fixed, as though staring at nothing in particular.
"Die?" Chesney's eyes grew bright with tears. "But if Jesus came to fix messed-up people why did He have to die?"
"I know it's hard to understand, sweetie, but remember when I told you that the lamb the people killed to escape slavery was a picture?"
Chesney nodded.
"Jesus would fix people and fix their broken relationship with God by being the Lamb. By dying, He fixed things for the people once and for all."
A solitary tear fell from one eye. Chesney quickly flicked it away. "But that's not fair."
"No, it isn't. But God knew people could never be good enough on their own. So Jesus--who was really God--chose to die for people and their sins. In this way, He fulfilled the promise to be our Prince of Peace."
"And our broken pieces."
Debbie sniffed briefly and scratched the corner of one eye, but didn't offer an explanation.
Yes, and the broken pieces. Of everyone. A verse she'd memorized years ago immediately flooded Liv's mind. All we like sheep have gone astray. We've turned, every one, to his own way. But the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. Jesus died for all the broken pieces--for all the broken people--in the world.
"So Jesus died forever and ever?"
Chesney's innocent question tugged Liv from her deep thoughts. "No, Chesney. That's one of the best parts of the story. He came back to life. Lots of people saw Him and wrote down what they saw, so we know it's a true story. They talked and walked and ate with Him before He went back to heaven."
"Amazing."
Liv had to smile. Here of late, Chesney used that word to describe just about everything. She glanced over to where Deb worked furiously with the yarn and metal hook. Even with her head lowered her frown was evident. Joy trickled throughout Liv. Debbie had heard every word of the story. She turned back to Chesney. "Yes, it was truly amazing. It was an unusual way for the Fixer to beat the snake and His lies, but it worked. Before Jesus went back to heaven, He promised that His Spirit would live in the people who trusted Him to fix their broken pieces. He also promised them something else."
"What?"
"His peace. He said this." Liv turned to the book of John. "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
"That makes me feel good on the inside." A gentle smile curved Chesney's mouth. "It makes me not be afraid so much."
"What are you afraid of?"
"Sometimes I get scared that something will happen to Daddy, and
I won't get to see him again."
The air in the room thickened with tension. Debbie stopped her furious work and sat perfectly still, her head still lowered.
The lump in Liv's throat made it impossible to speak--her own fears for Jeff's safety verbalized so perfectly. Instead, she just held her daughter closer.
And prayed for all of them.
Chapter Fourteen
Liv awakened early Sunday morning, the house still quiet and uneventful. She sat up and peered around the room. The sun was just starting to peek through the blinds, throwing slats of light across the bedspread. Being careful to take things easily--something she'd faithfully practiced since her scary visit to the emergency room--Liv made her way to the bathroom and then over to the bedroom window to peer out at the sunrise. Gorgeous streaks of orange and peach and pink painted the sky.
"Thank You, God." The words flowed, unrehearsed, from a grateful heart. He had not only given her this beautiful sunrise, but had spared the life of her unborn child and given her the opportunity to start over and do things right.
Liv moved back to the bed and pulled her Bible into her lap. The wake-up call she'd received had brought disappointing news, but even in just a few short days, it had also reinstated the sweet intimacy in her relationship with God. Now physically unable to distract herself with other things, Liv had turned to Him through His Word and prayer.
No wonder she felt so much better. Instead of focusing on her problems and pieces, she'd focused on God, not for the purpose of answers, but just because of who He was. Proclaiming His love, mercy, grace, goodness, sovereignty, and so much more had brought unfathomable peace. And to think, that peace had always been hers for the taking. It was just a matter of putting on her spiritual armor and keeping her attention focused on God, the only One able to fix her situation and her restless heart.
A sudden thought brought a heavy sigh. Although she'd called and cancelled the photography sessions and at least one week of her pottery lessons, she still hadn't gathered the courage to call her mother, with both the bad news of the broken trip plans and the good news of the baby she carried. Why had she put it off? The answer instantly appeared. She hadn't wanted to verbalize that her dream of a white Christmas with her family just wasn't going to happen. Hadn't wanted to admit that her dream of delivering the news wouldn't be realized, at least as far as her mother was concerned.