Chapter Four
When I walked into the repo office Hector hopped up and did the kung fu kick pepper spray move thing he had done yesterday, but now he had an audience and it was even more exaggerated. Gus and Victor started slapping the sofa, whooping and hollering, clearly enjoying Hector’s performance.
“Careful, don’t pull Goldilocks’s hair because she goes crazy when you mess with her ‘do,” Hector cackled.
Luckily, I grew up with brothers and knew not to take the ribbing personally. If they didn’t like me they wouldn’t bother.
“At least I have hair,” I said looking directly at Hector’s bald head.
This made Gus and Victor laugh even harder. They pointed at Hector, whooping and giving each other high fives. He rubbed his head and said, “Girl, you don’t have to get mean and shit.”
“Oh and did I miss the memo that said there was a work uniform?”
I exaggeratedly stared at their matching baggy, khaki shorts and white wife-beater tanks. They looked at one another in shock noticing for the first time they were all wearing the same outfits.
“You know how couples who’ve been together a long time start to dress and look alike,” I said. “You never noticed before?”
“Shit, Goldie. Now you’ve got us all freaked out,” Hector said. Gus and Victor chimed in agreeing with him. Victor and Gus said something in Spanish to Hector, grabbed their paperwork and left.
I called after them, “Adios, boys.”
“Man,” Hector said shaking his head.
“What? You started it with the,” I did the kung fu chop thing. “He was pulling my hair and wouldn’t let go. What would you have done?”
“Well, for one I would have knocked the shit out of him. And two, I don’t have any hair for him to grab.”
I knew Hector was right. Those guys would have maybe cussed at him, but they would have left him alone.
“I heard about your break in last night,” he said while looking over the day’s paperwork.
“How?” I asked.
“Shit I have cop friends don’t I?”
It looked like he was trying to hide a smile.
“What’s so funny?”
“Apparently you are the talk, girlfriend,” he explained. “I had at least four guys call me up laughing their asses off about it.”
I stared at him.
“You hang out with some freaks don’t you?” he said.
“Yeah, I do,” I answered looking directly at him.
He frowned. “Okay I walked into that one.”
I didn’t really think getting almost attacked was all that funny. Maybe strange, hairy guys breaking into apartments was the norm around here.
“Does this type of thing happen to Harriet’s employees a lot?”
“No,” he said chuckling to himself. “Have to be a crazy ass motherfucker to come to my neighborhood and try that shit.”
Great.
“What about Gus and Victor?”
He shook his head.
“No. Only you.”
Maybe waitressing wasn’t so bad after all.
“Hey don’t sweat it Goldilocks,” he said. “One of us will make sure no more crazy repos follow you home.”
My phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out and saw it was Bryan again. He had already called three times this morning. I hit the ignore button. If Hector had already heard what happened I was sure Bryan must have already gotten a copy of the police report and interviewed all the officers involved. Avoidance was the best choice. There was no way I wanted to explain Fidel and Emil to him.
“Hey, where’s Harry?” Her perfume was all over the office. But considering how much she wore it could still be lingering from a week ago.
“She goes to class today,” he answered.
“What kind of class?”
“The kind that uses books.”
I was beginning to tell that Hector had a limited information policy. He didn’t ask and he didn’t tell. Most likely because he didn’t know.
“Where does she take classes?”
“How the hell do I know? Fuck you ask a lot of questions.”
“I’ve only asked two.”
“You’ve asked three and it seems like a lot more. Why the fuck do you care what classes she takes? Do you want to go with her?”
Boy, someone is grumpy. Hector should quit repo and get a job with the CIA. He really seemed to know how to keep a lid on information. I was going to see if I could get some more details about the hottie guy in the white car, but considering his reaction to my previous questions I decided to shelve them.
Hector grabbed our paperwork and we headed out to the parking lot.
He hadn’t exaggerated about his car. It was a bright magenta muscle car, with huge rims that blinded me with their brightness.
Hector looked at me and smiled. “Now you’re in for a treat. This car kills. No fucking van today.”
I smiled and got in the passenger side. Hector certainly had pride of ownership. He must polish his car every spare moment he had. It smelled like a combination of leather cleaner and Armor All. The seat was so slick I had to grip the sides from slipping forward.
When Hector started the car he revved it up and looked at me. “Now, that’s what I’m talking about.”
I nodded and made a mental note to bring ear plugs. The engine was so loud I was afraid of hearing loss. We made our way south down Highland to Pico. Hector shouted over the engine noise that today was going to be an easy one. The mark was an old lady who wasn’t making payments on her Mercedes.
My stomach tightened. An old lady? I didn’t like the sound of that.
We ended up in Cheviot Hills. It’s an older area, where the houses were traditional, fairly large and nicely maintained. It looked like suburban anywhere. Hector and his magenta muscle car had no hope of blending. When I looked at Hector he seemed oblivious that he stood out and he just tapped along to the Spanish music he had playing, enjoying the morning.
We stopped in front of a white house with black shutters and a carefully maintained rose garden out in front.
“Fuck. The old lady has the car in the garage. You’re going to have to knock on her door and con her into opening it,” he said.
He must be joking, “Yeah right.”
“Do you think she’d open it for me?” He asked like I was crazy. He was right. She’d double lock her doors if she saw Hector coming.
“I don’t want to break in. Harriet doesn’t like that sort of shit. It will be easy Goldie,” he said. “No one would suspect you. Just sweet talk her into it.”
I’ve got to lie to an old lady to take her car? I sort of enjoyed taking the hairy guy’s car. But an old lady?
“Why don’t you use a tow truck like Gus and Victor?” I asked stalling for time.
“Those punks don’t have the gift like I do.”
“Gift?”
“Yeah, from God. How else could I hot wire any car in under two minutes?”
I shrugged.
“Besides it makes it cheaper to repo cars. Keeps costs down, which gives us a bigger profit margin,” he explained obviously proud of his two minute ability.
Hector the business man.
“Is it legal though?” I asked.
He stared at me, not answering my question.
“Well is it?”
“Damn, Goldie do you have to be all technical and shit,” he said with a huff. “Man, what’s with bringing me down and all?”
Who knew? Three hundred pound tattoo guy had a sensitivity issue.
“Sorry, Hector sometimes my nosiness takes over.” I quickly back tracked, not wanting to make the big guy depressed. I glanced over the paperwork still stalling for time.
Hector nudged me out the door and said he would wait for me around the corner. I was supposed to message him when I got the woman to open up the garage door.
I walked to the front porch feeling like I should be visiting my granny, not steali
ng her car. I knocked on the door. It was obvious from the shuffling sounds she was looking out the peephole. I heard her undo the chain latch. When she opened the door she wasn’t quite what I expected. She was definitely older, maybe in her seventies, but was very attractive and well put together. Now that she opened the door I didn’t know what to say. Quick think of something.
“Mrs. Howard, I’m with the Los Angeles County Automotive Authority and I need to check on your vehicle’s registration. To make sure it matches with the intended car.”
The lies just flew off my tongue.
The lady looked confused.
“You said you were from where?”
“The Los Angeles County Automotive Authority would please open your garage door so I can check your vehicle.”
I could lie too easily. I must be a bad person.
She squinted her eyes and looked me up and down. For once I was grateful for my typical white bread look. Very non-threatening.
“Am I in trouble?” She asked.
“No, we just need to check your car.”
“Well…alright. Go to the front and I’ll open the garage.”
I felt a bit guilty, but relished the fact I had a new career as a serial liar.
I nodded and said I’d meet her. As soon as she shut the door I messaged Hector and told him what was going on. He responded with his usual guttural, drawn out, “Shit.”
I put away my phone as the guilt swept over me. I’m talking an old lady out of her car. How low could I go? As I was simmering in my damnation, the garage door opened. I saw the Mercedes that needed to be repoed. It was a new two seat silver convertible with an old white Pontiac parked next to it.
“There you are …I’m sorry, what was your name?” She asked.
Do I give her my real one or should I come up with a fake?
“I’m Stevie,” I said not sure I could handle responding to an alias.
“Oh,” she said smiling at me.
I got out my organizer out of my bag and pretended to check out her registration.
“Is everything all right?” she asked.
“Yes, it all seems to be in order, but I’m going to have to call it in to be sure.”
“This is actually my brother’s car,” she said. “He’ll kill me if anything happens to it.”
“I thought it was your car? Your name is on the registration.”
“My name is, but my brother was going through a divorce and his ex-wife was trying to take it away from him. He’s been giving me the money to make the payments on it.”
“Do you do that? I mean …does he make sure to give you the money every month?” I asked.
“Oh, yes. Jimmy is never late. It’s just that lately a friend of mine has needed money so I’ve been loaning him some. I’m not always good at making the payments on time. I’ve called the bank though and they understand.”
No, they don’t.
Out of the corner of my eye I could see Hector motioning me to get Mrs. Howard back towards the house so he could hot wire the car. The plan was for him to sneak in, get the car and I’d rush around and drive his car a couple of blocks away to change cars because he didn’t trust me with his “Baby” which was fine with me. I was afraid of driving that rocket engine around anyway.
“Well thank you for your time Mrs. Howard. Everything seems okay.” I got my phone out and pretended to make a call. “Darn. I don’t get a very good signal from here. Do you mind if we stand over there?” I motioned over to her rose garden. “I think it would be better.”
The karma kick back on this job must be a killer.
“Of course dear,” she answered.
We walked around to the side of her house. I started asking her questions about her roses to distract her from seeing Hector saunter into her garage. Within two minutes he had her car started then backed it out and drove around the corner.
“The person you loaned the money to they’re good for it right?” I asked hoping she could get the car back so she wouldn’t get in trouble.
She shifted around a bit. “I think so. You see it’s a man who I’ve been dating and he assures me he will give the money back by the end of month. He’s been having cash flow problems, but he’s got plenty of money otherwise,” she whispered looking around to make sure her neighbors couldn’t hear.
This didn’t sound good.
“Are you sure?” I questioned again.
“Oh, yes. He drives a really nice car and dresses extremely well. I’ve never seen his house, but I’ve seen pictures. It’s being renovated,” she explained.
Oh no.
“Where did you meet him?”
I was afraid to hear her answer.
“I met him on a senior dating website.”
It kept getting worse.
“I wouldn’t give him any more money until he gives you back what he owes you,” I said hoping she would listen.
“I told him yesterday that was the last thousand.”
Shit.
“How much does he owe you?”
“After yesterday…” She said stopping to think, “Fifteen thousand.”
Oh my God.
“Please don’t give him any more money. No matter what kind of story he comes up with,” I said a little too forcefully.
“I couldn’t if I wanted to,” she said. “There’s nothing left dear. My brother has me on an allowance. But I know what you’re thinking and don’t worry he is good for it. He used to be a pastor for goodness sake.”
Sure he did.
I drove Hector’s car around the corner feeling sick to my stomach. He was leaning against the side of the Mercedes looking irritated.
“What the fuck were you two doin’ exchanging frickin recipes or something?”
I told him the whole story feeling terrible we just added to the woman’s problems.
“Man…that was one expensive fuck,” he said shaking his head.
Yep. Hector pretty much summed it up.
“It would have taken me days to get that car. You did good Goldie. Looking like a fuckin’ ass sorority Barbie really works for you,” he said.
That was a compliment to remember.
“Thanks,” I said. “And looking like an escapee from a maximum security prison works for you too.”
He stared at me and I raised an eyebrow back at him.
“Damn Goldie, why do you have to always get mean and shit,” he said.
I sighed and ignored him. Eventually he’d learn.
When we got back to Harriet’s, Gus and Victor were sitting on the sofa playing video games. I hadn’t noticed the screen before, it had been hidden behind a vase of the ever present silk flowers. They were both still wearing the baggy khaki shorts and white socks pulled up to their knees, but Gus had on a grey T-shirt instead of the wife beater.
I glanced at Hector and hadn’t noticed earlier that he had mixed it up too. The bottom was the same, but he was wearing a black T-shirt instead of the usual uniform.
“Hey nice outfits,” I said trying not to smile.
They stared at me waiting.
“What?” I said.
Silence.
“What?” I asked again.
“That’s it?” Hector asked narrowing his eyes at me. “That’s all you’re going to say?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Nothing,” he answered. “I guess we were waiting for you to get all nasty and freak us out again.”
Gus and Victor looked relieved and went back to playing video games. At least Hector couldn’t get on me for my fanny pack again. I traveled light today. I only had my phone, some money and pepper spray tucked into my jeans. I made sure I wore baggy ones with a lot of pockets. Of course, I knew when I was with Hector the pepper spray wouldn’t be necessary. I’d just have to hide behind him and it would be like I was protected by a giant concrete bunker.
“Punks you should have seen Goldie today. She is a bullshit genius,” he said and then told them the whole sorry st
ory.
“Damn I’m a bargain. I’d do an old lady for a thousand,” Gus said laughing.
Victor smacked him in the stomach. “That’s someone’s abuela, dickhead. And what the hell are you talking about? You’re so hard up you’d do a goat for free.”
“Ain’t that the shit,” Hector said laughing, “And Victor’s right, you shouldn’t talk about someone’s nana that way. Fucker.”
I stared at them in all in amazement. I was suddenly let into a party I never had an invitation to before.
Gus and Victor got lucky today too. They repoed a boat from a guy who was being visited by a woman who wasn’t his wife, he was preoccupied enough not to notice them hitching the boat trailer to their truck. They even snuck up and took pictures on their phones of the guy getting serviced. From what I saw, he definitely looked distracted.
Harry’s office door flew open and a gust of perfume circled around announcing her arrival.
“How’d you shits and Goldilocks do today?”
I didn’t especially like my new name, but I took comfort that I wasn’t included in the plural “shits”.
Hector and Victor handed her their paperwork. They both seemed eager to get her approval. She glanced over it and gave them a nod.
“Good work, asswipes,” she said smiling at us. “By the way you know that Ferrari you two brought in,” she looked at Hector and me. “It got trashed last night.”
“What the hell?” Hector said.
“Don’t worry it wasn’t on our watch. I had already turned it over when it happened.”
Hector exhaled loudly. “That’s a fucking relief. That means you and I will still get paid Goldie.”
I nodded and pretended like I knew what he was talking about.
Harry was wearing what looked like a left over costume from Star Trek with her tight green dress and white high heeled boots, yet no matter how ridiculous she looked, somehow she still commanded respect.
“Hector told me you’re working out great Goldilocks,” she said, giving me a wink. “I had a good feeling about you.”
I could see why the boys wanted to please her. I had only worked for a couple days and already I felt like I didn’t want to let her down.
I looked at Hector and gave him a smile.
Aw, big tattooed sensitive guy likes me.
He ignored my sucking up and looked back at the video screen.
“Thanks,” I said. “I’ve learned a lot from Hector.”
She raised her eyebrows at me, then looked at Hector. “Hey big fuck breath, make sure you teach her the right ways. I don’t want Goldilocks getting arrested.”
Arrested?
Hector smiled. “Damn Harry you’re going to scare Goldie off talking shit like that.”
“Don’t worry sweetie he only got arrested once, but I bailed him out within a couple of hours and got it all straightened out,” she said patting me on the shoulder.
That didn’t make me feel better.
Harry yelled out some obscenities at the boys and left.
“Hey Goldie, do you know how to play?” Hector asked pointing at the game console.
I played video games all the time with my brothers. I was even better at playing Grand Theft Auto than I was at lying. My parents would be so proud.
“Yeah I know how,” I answered thankful for the delay from what was waiting for me at home. I had a feeling Bryan would be there with another round of “you need to quit your job.” Procrastinating with video games seemed like an excellent plan.
“Good. We can team up and play these two assholes,” he said.
Victor and Gus started laughing.
“What are you punks laughing at?” Hector said giving them both head smacks.
“Your wife is going to kick your ass if she finds out you hung around here again instead of going home,” Gus said.
Victor nodded in agreement.
Hector’s brown skin seemed to get a little paler.
“No one is gonna tell her are they?” He glared.
Their eyes widened and shook their heads.
“We’ll try. But Hector your wife is some scary shit,” Victor said visibly cringing even talking about her.
I couldn’t wait to meet her especially since she could make these guys practically pee in their pants at the mere mention of her.
“Don’t I fuckin’ know it,” Hector said.