Kicking my legs, I tried to throw him off, but with no luck. The position he had me in ensured I couldn’t move. I did catch Lexi screaming for him to let me go, though, and it just about killed me.
“Leave her the fuck alone!” I shouted.
Axel’s eyebrows rose in surprise, and he seemed genuinely taken aback by my reaction.
“You screwing the bitch? The fuckin’ bitch who witnessed the deal and no doubt squealed to the fuckin’ dean!”
Rearing back, I shot forward, bashing my forehead into Axel’s nose. Axel fell back, his hands cupped to his face, and I took the chance to jump to my feet. As my boots landed on the mud, my feet slipped in a puddle. My hands hit the dirty ground, and when I looked up, Gio had gotten to his feet and was marching toward Lexi, who was frozen in the doorway.
“NO!” I screamed and set to running, when Axel tackled me from behind, bringing us both to the mud.
“Gio, if you touch her, I’ll kill you!” I said as loud as I could manage under Axel’s heavy weight.
Gio glanced back at me and took his penknife from his pocket, a streak of lighting in the distance reflecting off its blade.
“No!” I tried to turn my head to Axel, but his elbow had me pinned. “Axe, get the fuck off me. He’s gonna hurt Pix!”
“Pix? What the fuck does that mean?” he spat into my ear.
“She’s my fuckin’ girl, you dick! She’s my girl! And if anything happens to her, I’ll fuckin’ put you in the ground, brother or not!” I threatened.
Axel stilled, and I could hear the rain pelting against the ground and Axel’s heavy breathing… that and the sudden screams from Lexi.
Snapping my head to face Pix, I roared out in frustration when Gio gripped her by her hair and dragged her into the flooding yard, forcing her to face my way. Tears were streaming down her face, but those tears soon dried when Gio ripped along the seam on the back of her loose sweater, pressing himself along her back, smiling in my direction. “She’s your girl, Austin? The bitch that saw my business at UA?”
I froze and, through gritted teeth, said, “So you did tell him about her, Axe? I told you I had it fuckin’ handled! I just hoped for once you wouldn’t be a bitch and tell Gio everything.” Axel didn’t say shit in response and the betrayal of my brother only seemed to fuel Gio more.
“Yeah, Aust. Axe here told me all about it. I told you if you touched me again, you’d pay for it. And it seems this ugly freak is your Achilles’ heel.” Gio threw Lexi’s shredded sweater to the floor and ran his index finger down the length of her spine, all the time with that fuckin’ creepy grin on his face.
Lexi’s face went vacant, and my heart split in two. She was in her bad place. She’d checked out… all because he was touching her fuckin’ back.
My eyes closed, and I told Axel, “You have five seconds to get off me, Axe, or no joke, we’re done.”
I caught the sharp inhale of Axel’s breath. We might not share the same ethics or moral codes in life, but I loved him. He was blood, and he got the significance of what I was saying.
“Get the hell off her!” I heard a panicked male voice shout and, opening my eyes, saw Levi standing in front of Lexi, his arms stretched out toward Gio. At first I didn’t see the gun, but as Gio held up his hands, his face like stone, I caught Levi’s shaking arm as he towered over Pix’s hunched-over body, her eyes firmly fixed on the ground. She was muttering to herself; she was listening to the voice.
“Fuck!” Axel hissed, and he was suddenly off my back and lunging for Levi. Levi saw Axel coming and flicked the gun between Gio and our brother.
As I pushed off the ground, my black shirt and jeans now pitted with mud, I approached Levi slowly.
“Lev, calm down,” I said soothingly. Levi’s gray eyes were huge with adrenaline, and he indicated with a tip of his chin for me to come to him and Pix. Exhaling a pent-up breath, I dropped to the ground and, scooping her up, lifted her in my arms, sluices of rainwater pouring off her cold skin.
With a huge gasp, Lexi’s fingers gripped onto my skin and her too-white eyes fixed on mine. “Austin…” she whispered and looked down, wriggling in my arms as if she’d just realized I was holding her in the air.
“Austin, please, I’m too heavy,” she said, embarrassed.
My heart sank as she voiced her concern, and, bringing her to my lips, I whispered, “You’re no burden to me, Pix. Your weight ain’t nothing. You’re safe in my arms, where you fuckin’ belong.”
Lexi’s lip began to wobble and her eyes filled with fresh tears.
“Axe, you need to reel in your brothers before they forget who they keep fuckin’ with.” Gio was glaring over at Axel, and for once, I saw what looked like fear in Gio’s expression. He knew without Axel, his damn crew would crumble. Axel was the heavy glue that kept the Heighter boys in check. And no matter how much Axel loved the crew, I knew, no, I prayed there was one thing he loved more: us.
“Shut the fuck up, G!” Axel snapped and slowly approached Levi. “Levi, put the gun down. I ain’t gonna touch Austin’s bitch. He’s made his choice.”
Levi stiffened. “Her name’s Lexi!”
Axel’s teeth clenched and he said, “Fine. I ain’t gonna touch… Lexi.”
Levi glanced across at me, and I nodded my head for him to drop his gun. Carefully lowering his arms, Levi tucked his gun back in the waistband of his jeans, and Axel breathed a huge damn sigh of relief.
Gio stormed past us to his Challenger as the headlights approached. “Sort your fuckin’ brothers, Axe, or I’m gonna be dealing with them myself.” Ripping open the passenger-side door, Gio got in, the screeching of wet tires spraying up the mud all over our cream trailer.
The thunder echoed in the distance as the three Carillo boys stood almost at a standoff, in a downpour, with me clutching my Pix to my chest, Axel and Levi glaring at each other in contempt.
Casting a glance at me, Axel scowled as he watched me press a kiss to Lexi’s head, and he laughed without humor. “So you’re fuckin’ the bitch that saw us dealing? The only bitch who could testify to what we’re doing on campus?”
I ground my teeth together as Lexi, who was still in my arms, began shaking from the cold. Or was it fear of Axel? Probably a combination of both.
“That ain’t none of your goddamn concern! But she is mine; make no mistake about that.”
This time Axel did laugh. “Fuck, kid. You act like this over a piece of pussy? Shit, son, what the hell’re you thinking?”
Lexi flinched as though she’d been slapped, and I turned to Levi. “Go get her purse from inside. I need her keys. I’m getting her home.”
Levi ran into the trailer without question, and just a few seconds later, he pressed the remote so the car automatically unlocked. I lowered Lexi into the passenger seat and, putting the keys in the ignition, turned on the heat to full blast. Lexi curled into the chair and her petrified eyes darted all around the lot.
I would never forgive myself for bringing here.
Shutting her in, I looked to Levi. “How’s Mamma?”
“She’s asleep,” he said and dropped his head to stare at the ground.
“Vieni qua,” I said, and Levi walked to me slowly until he was a few steps away, and gripping the back of his head with my hand, I pulled him to my chest. “Grazie, fratello.”
Levi wrapped his arms around my back and said only for my ears, “I like her. Don’t chase her away. I don’t want her to go away.”
A lump blocked my throat, and I nodded against Levi’s head. “Get inside. Lock the trailer door, all the locks, and don’t answer it for no one. I’ll have my cell with me. Call if you need me. Any time, you hear? I’d stay, but I gotta get Pix back to school. She don’t belong here. She doesn’t deserve all this shit from Gio and Axel. I’ll drop her off and come back.”
Levi pulled back and, glancing over my shoulder at Lexi, waved at her, then bolted to the trailer. I heard all five locks closing behind him. He and Mamma were safe.
“You’re
fuckin’ up, kid,” Axel said from beside me now that we were alone, and I turned to face him. He was wiping the still-pouring blood from under his nose.
Marching toward him, I pushed on his chest and snapped, “No. You’re fuckin’ up! What the hell kinda brother are you to me and Levi, huh? Wait until we’re old enough and then drop us into that crew!” I prodded at his wide chest. “So I’d say you’re the one fuckin’ up, Axe. You!”
I went to walk away, when Axel said, “I don’t give a shit what you think of me, Austin. When Pop left and Mamma got sick, I did what I had to for us to survive. I don’t expect you to understand, superstar.”
I friggin’ hated it when he called me that.
Meeting Axel’s feet with my own, I looked right into his brown eyes and said, “Lev’s out. You hear? That kid ain’t got the stomach or the heart for this life. He deserves more, more than me and you for brothers.”
Axel shook his head, but I could see by the paleness of his face that I’d gotten to him. “Lev stays in with crew, and I’m sorry, brother, but you will be coming back too. We may have beef with each other tonight, but the Kings and Mamma’s medical bills will still be piling on our heads tomorrow.”
I stared at him without saying a word, then spun on my heel and turned away.
“Aust?”
My feet ground to a halt, and I said tiredly, “What, Axe?”
“I’ll stay with the kid and Mamma tonight. I’ll protect them. No need for you to come back. I promise.”
I exhaled though my nose and commenced walking to the car. “Good. I’d prefer it if I didn’t have to bury both my mamma and my brother in the same fuckin’ year.”
A few seconds later, I heard Levi let Axel into the trailer and all five locks slam closed.
Jumping into the Prius, it didn’t take me long to skid out of the trailer park and start gunning down the highway back toward school.
The rain had begun easing off, and I looked to Lexi, who was watching me, her heavy makeup mostly gone from the heaviness of the rain.
I loved those freckles spattered on her nose. Fuck, I was beginning to just love everything about her, period.
As I clenched the steering wheel under my hand, I said, “Pix, I’m so sorry.”
Lexi didn’t say a word, and as I looked at her again, she hadn’t even changed her expression.
“Pix, please, I know you’re hurting, but I just wanna say—”
“Go to the summerhouse, Austin.”
I cast a double take at Lexi, completely confused. “I’m taking you back to your sorority hou—”
“Go to the summerhouse,” she repeated, sternly.
“Why, Pix?” I asked and held my breath, waiting for the answer.
Lexi’s tiny hand nervously stretched out over the seats and landed on my thigh. “Because I’ve never felt more safe in my life than I do with you. I want to be with you in the place you first showed me your true colors.” She looked up at me through her long lashes. “Because I’m not ready to leave you yet.”
I placed my hand down on top of hers, and she added, “Because I need you, Austin. There’s no more to it than that. I need you. That should be reason enough.”
Despite my wringing-wet clothing, the cold material sticking to my skin, all I felt was warmth as Lexi’s words flowed over my body.
“Fuck, Pix,” I said gruffly, and I gripped her fingers tighter in mine.
“Is that okay?”
“More than okay,” I said with a laugh.
“And why is that?” she asked shyly.
Bringing her fingers to my lips, I pressed a single kiss to her palm, all humor gone. “Because I damn well need you too. Too fuckin’ much to fight it anymore.”
Chapter Eighteen
Lexi
The atmosphere outside is strange after a storm, like Mother Nature takes a much-earned breather from ripping the world apart. The wind drops and the gray-black skies go completely and eerily still.
As Austin and I walked cautiously toward the summerhouse, avoiding being seen by prying eyes, there was no backing soundtrack of crickets chirping, no owls hooting; everything was calm, almost reflective in its tone. Even the voice in my head seemed to be taking a break from torturing my mind.
Looking up to the rolling twilight sky, the clouds were drifting slowly, recovering from a turbulent night. I knew how they felt. I was still reeling from Gio’s and Axel’s anger toward me, but more than that, my chest was full with respect for Austin. He’d protected me, looked after me. Chose to defend me over his older brother.
As I risked a glance at him out of the corner of my eye, I couldn’t help feeling breathless. He was staring down at our intertwined fingers with a disbelieving glint in his brown Italian eyes. Like he couldn’t believe we were here together.
Still unaware I was watching him, Austin casually lifted our joined hands to his mouth and pressed a kiss to the back of mine. Goose bumps immediately accosted my body, ones that had nothing to do with the cold breeze on my drenched skin and everything to do with being cherished and worthy enough to earn Austin’s protection.
Sighing happily, I laid my head on his thick bicep.
He made me feel so safe.
As we reached the summerhouse door, Austin checked around us to make sure no one was watching and, dropping our hands, fished the key from his sodden and muddied jean pocket and quietly opened the heavy wooden door.
When we entered, Austin held up his finger for me to wait at the entrance and quickly moved around the summerhouse’s large wall-length windows to draw the heavy curtains to a close.
I watched Austin as he turned back toward me, that same disbelieving expression on his face highlighted by the glittering sky full of stars above, shining in through the skylight.
His black T-shirt was tight and slick over his defined and muscled torso. His damp jeans weren’t faring much better. His dark, messy hair had dried into a haphazard style, bunching and sticking up in all directions, which, if possible, only made him more attractive in a wild and rugged way. His tattoos bent and flexed with each step he made toward me. It almost looked as though the Jesus on his crucifix were breathing.
My heart was like a butterfly in my chest, the rhythmic beats of blood being pumped fast through my body, so loud I could feel them thrum under my skin from my head to my toes. Something intensely sexual glittered in Austin’s dark eyes, and instinctively, I wrapped my arms around my chest as though to stop myself from the unfamiliar flushed effect of his attention.
Austin stopped right before me, his warm breath dusting across my face. I stared at the dove tattoo on his neck, trying to focus on the feather-stroke details on its spread wings, just to try and calm my frantic heart.
A finger brushed a strand of hair from my eyes and gently rolled down my cheek and along the bridge of my nose. I caught Austin’s top lip twitch and curve into a smirk.
“The rain has freed your freckles, Pix,” he said in a raspy voice.
My stomach rolled at the fact that my heavy makeup had washed away, and I began to panic at being so exposed.
“I—”
Before I could finish what I wanted to say, Austin leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the tip of my nose, shocking me into stillness. His lips continued to pepper along my cheek until they reached my ear, where he whispered, “They’re beautiful. I love seeing you without the war paint. I love seeing the real you underneath the armor.”
Forget poetry. Forget mushy sentiments, hearts and flowers, and men who know how to play a girl with words. Just hearing that Austin liked me, the real me, the broken anorexic girl underneath the layer of makeup, brought a lightness to my heart that I had never felt before.
“Austin…” I whispered back, and he reached out to take my hand with one of his, leaning forward, chest against chest, and closed the door behind him with his other hand.
It was like he could sense my apprehension at his closeness, and with a squeeze of his hand, he whispered, “Come on. We nee
d to get dried off.”
Austin gently tugged on my hand, and I fell into step beside him. We were heading to the large open fire at the end of the summerhouse, our own little place of peace as we were closed in from the drawn curtains and locked door. As we passed the sofa, Austin let go of my hand and grabbed the throw pillows and red blanket, placing them on top of the sheepskin rug on the hard wooden floor.
Austin turned to me and cupped my cheeks. “Sit down, Pix. I’ll get the fire going.”
Swallowing back my nerves, I lowered myself to the floor, taking a seat on a red pillow as Austin moved to the wood bucket and began stacking the fire one log at a time. Taking a match from the side of the fire, Austin struck it against the stone of the fireplace and ignited the piled-high logs.
Twisting to kneel before me, Austin met my eyes and asked, “You thirsty? Hungry? I think there’s water in the fridge.”
My heart flipped at the mention of water. He remembered I only drank water. Not soda. He was still trying to make me feel comfortable. He was always trying to make me feel comfortable.
Reaching up, I laid my shaking hand on his rough and stubbled cheek. “I’m good, Austin. Just… just sit with me…”
This time I caught him swallow, and warmth settled in my heart when I realized he was nervous too. Austin lowered himself to the rug beside me, raising his knees and wrapping his arms around them.
Casting his gaze forward, he stared at the rising flames of the fire, lost in his thoughts. The logs crackled and that gorgeous campfire smell that only emits from burning wood filled the entire room.
“I should never have taken you there tonight, Pix. And for that I’m so fuckin’ sorry,” Austin eventually said. I could tell by the deep timbre of his voice that he meant it.
His apologetic sentence startled me. Austin seemed so torn up, so embarrassed by the events of tonight, so lifting my hand, I ran it through his messy hair in comfort. Austin’s eyes closed at my touch, looking exhausted, and he slowly began leaning toward me, until he was lying on his back, his head resting on my leg, and from his lips, he released a tired but contented sigh. It reminded me of being back in the hospital garden of remembrance all those weeks ago.