Chapter 14
Wade spent the next few months clearing more land, caring for the emergent cotton, and repairing various fixtures along the landscape. With his newfound interest and knowledge of cattle, he contemplated investing some of the cotton profit in cattle. He prepared the barn and cleared some land for grazing pasture, and consulted Will on the prospects. A few head of cattle would provide necessary beef and milk, and if they were bred well, they could sell for profit. Of course the investment would be large, and although the cotton prices had risen slightly, their harvest would yield less because of Wade’s absence, and the lack of seed planted. Regardless, Wade continued to plan, and if it was necessary, he would solicit funds from his mother for his venture.
Within a few months, it was time for harvest. The work was back-breaking, but Wade was excited to be part of the process once again, feeling the cotton against his fingers, the thick dirt run through his hands, and the smell of harvest around him. They fared well that year, yielding a good crop, and selling for a decent price. By the time he had gotten accustomed to the work, and his hands had become calloused, it was over, and autumn was settling over the land, painting the trees and icing the cool breeze. He was glad to be home, surrounded by foliage and beauty, and though he missed the wide open spaces of the plains, he had no desire to return to the desolation which he remembered so well. He loved this country where the trees sang and danced as the wind passed through them, coloring their leaves and laying soft beds around their trunks. He loved the constant chatter of birds and signs of life scattering through the riverbed.
School began immediately after harvest, and Wade was irritated to find he was the oldest boy in the class. The others had dropped out after their legal obligations had been met, for they had no desire to continue their education. Wade wanted to quit too, however he was obliged to Uncle Ashley, and he maintained his character and his word. He had often considered the worth of a man, and in the end, his rationale ended with the desire to guarantee his own strength of character by keeping his word. He decided to abandon the idea of formal education in preference to creating his own curriculum which would prepare him for his studies at the University of Georgia, and he wrote to Ashley for materials he needed to get started. What he received in the mail was astounding. Wade’s great uncle Hamilton had been a lawyer in Atlanta for many years, so Ashley boxed up every law textbook and sent it, along with paper and ink, and a dictionary.
Wade began studying straight away. After working in the fields and around the plantation all day, he poured over his books until he had burned the oil from his lamp. Beginning with the book that had been packed on top, he meticulously studied every word, taking notes, writing definitions, and memorizing details until his eyes closed, and Suellen often found him sleeping at his desk in the morning, where he had fallen asleep the night before. The laws were intriguing, easy for him to understand, and he longed to live his life in a formal manner, always knowing what was expected, and immediately knowing the consequences of poor decisions. In his mind, there were no grey areas any longer, for each situation was addressed, and if it was not, it was considered a matter of social legalism, which held no merit in his opinion.
The law addressed basic issues which could easily be upheld, and if each person in society clung to these basic virtues, harmony would reign. He considered every single statute, mentally challenging its validity, and considering alternate solutions. More than anything, he appreciated the straight forward process by which humanity could be expected to live, maintaining freedom and respect for all, and yet, when he considered the injustices surrounding him, he knew there were flaws in the system he had come to respect. These blemishes presented him with an interesting challenge, which he was ready to attack, confident that further investigation and changes within the existing system could reap the results he longed to see.
He looked forward to sharing his ideas with other students interested and well versed in the subject, and as the time approached for him to go to the university, he no longer apprehended the experience but anxiously awaited the opportunity. He was eager to undertake a responsibility of such high priority as the civilization of mankind. For once in his life, he truly believed that his participation was important, and his presence would make an impact on the United States and society in general, for the world depended on the legal system for unity, safety, and civility, and he would not only be part of it, but influence the system, aiding it to become even more effective.
At times, when he and Emily had the opportunity to discuss such issues, he found that her opinion was quite different, if she had an opinion at all. There were so many responsibilities to be maintained during the week, that they often met on Saturday nights on the Fontaine’s front porch, where they would sit on the swing and drink tea, talking for hours. It was on these evenings that Wade found that Emily held little interest in social affairs, for she had concentrated her attention on immediate necessities, making issues outside of her scope of immediate contact unimportant to her. She had no concept of justice or fairness for it had never been in her schema of the world around her. She had never experienced fairness, so it held no value to her, and the idea of consequences being within her control was foreign. For years, she had experienced consequences which did not change because of her choices therefore in her understanding there was no relationship between action and consequence.
This lack of common interest bothered Wade, and it seemed as if their conversations had become shallow, inconsequential. He knew that most men would not expect as much from a discussion with a woman, but he longed to delve deeper into other people’s ideas of values, and their conversations left him feeling empty, lacking of true thought and valuable debate. He laid these thoughts aside, though, hoping that they would soon find common grounds, worthy of intriguing dialogue, issues that would keep them aligned and passionate long after they were married. He had seen the effects of differing opinions in his mother’s marriages, and he feared the long, slow, painful death of a marriage deficient of agreeable conversation.
The Christmas Season was upon them, and Wade had been contemplating his gift to Emily. He still longed to present Emily with beautiful jewels like those he had seen along the Mississippi, and yet he still lacked the funding necessary for such a fine gift. He had one of the pistols that his mother gave him for Christmas, and although Emily had kept the other, he carried his father’s pistol, as well. He took the pistol his mother had given to Jonesboro, and then on to Atlanta to sell. Within a day, he had sold the six-shooter, and purchased a stunning ring. Although the jewels were small, the ring held a fine marquis cut sapphire to match the color of Emily’s eyes, with three small round diamonds on either side. The ring was neither ostentatious nor was it vulgar, but it was simply lovely, perfect for her delicate fingers, and perfectly representative of his sentiment towards her.
On Christmas morning, after gifts had been exchanged and gifts sent from his mother had been opened, he immediately rode to the Fontaine’s. He met Emily at the door and persuaded her to walk with him though the air was chilly and the fire inside was warm. He wanted to be alone with her. They walked towards the road to be alone, and when he had reached a bend where they were surrounded by barren trees with an open sky above them, he fell to one knee and presented her with the small box. She looked at him with surprise, for she had not expected a gift from him, and she had nothing in return, and when she slowly opened the tiny box, glistening tears began to roll down her cheeks. He took the ring from the box, and held it in his fingers, turning it slowly, memorizing every detail of the gold circle.
Raising his eyes to look into hers, he took her hand, and began the speech he had prepared, “I chose this ring especially for you to match your velvety blue eyes which have held me enchanted since the moment I first saw you. You have changed my life, giving me hope for the future, love for the present, and precious memories of the past. I am on bended knee, asking you to be my wife, and I promise that the diamonds o
n this ring will replace the tears that have fallen from your eyes. I will do whatever it takes to make sure that your heart is never broken, and you have no fear or worries for the rest of your life.”
Emily fell to her knees beside him, wrapping her arms around him. He could feel her tears against his cheeks, and he tenderly kissed them away, and then slid the ring on her slender finger as she smiled warmly. “Of course I will be your wife. You may not have known, but I loved you the moment I saw you watching me wade through the water under the trees by the creek, and I have longed to hear you say those words to me.” She kissed him again, long and slow, touching his face with her fingertips and running her hands through his hair. She stared at him for a long time, searching for signs of regret, but the only feeling she saw was relief that she had accepted and a deep love in his brown eyes.
A chill began to run through them as they realized that they were still outside kneeling on the ground in December, and they quickly rose, dusting their knees and rubbing their arms to warm themselves. Emily took his hand as they walked back to the house, “My pa is not here, and Mr. Fontaine is the man of the house, so I guess you will have to ask him for my hand.” A slight look of worry crossed her face, but Wade smiled reassuringly. He had already considered that aspect of the plan, and had memorized his speech to him, as well.
When they returned, Wade found Mr. Fontaine, and asked to speak with him in private, so they retired to the library, and Mr. Fontaine poured them each a celebratory seasonal sherry. Wade refused the invitation to sit for he was too nervous, and he knew his knees would visibly shake if he were seated. After a few moments, Wade began to speak, slowly at first, then gaining speed as if he was trying to rush his words before they were forgotten or before he lost his courage to speak.
“Mr. Fontaine, I have come to ask for Emily’s hand. It may not seem like I have much to offer, but Tara will someday be mine, and I will have an education as soon as I have graduated from the University. I will make sure that she is always happy, safe, and loved, and I hope someday to give her everything her heart desires.” Wade spoke strongly, convincingly, and though he was trembling, he maintained control of his voice, and he was sure that Mr. Fontaine had no idea that he was nervous.
Mr. Fontaine turned from Wade to face the fireplace, considering Wade’s words. He had been anticipating this moment for quite some time, but he had not formulated the words he knew were necessary. He knew Scarlett very well, and he knew that she would never approve of such a match, and Emily would pay the price. Emily had become like a daughter to him, for she had been around the plantation for years, and she had been such a help with his children and Sally that he couldn’t bear for her to be so brutalized by Scarlett. Wade’s mother would make sure that Emily never felt comfortable or accepted, and the great ravine between social classes would forever be a painful experience for her. He had been searching the county for other young beaux that would be a better match for Emily, and once Wade left, it would be quite easy to find a suitable husband for her.
Mr. Fontaine turned to face Wade with all seriousness causing lines around his tightlipped expression. “Wade, I think it would be better if you waited until after you have graduated from the University. If your feelings and hers remain intact, I will give you my blessing.”
Wade turned pale, not expecting such a reply, and he could not find the words to protest, for he never thought to plan for Mr. Fontaine’s refusal of his request. He fumbled for a few moments then replied, “I did not want to wait that long, sir. I am sure I can find appropriate accommodations in Athens. I could not bear to be parted from her for long.”
Mr. Fontaine sympathized with Wade’s plight, for he could not bear to be parted from Sally, but the fact remained that the match was unsuitable, and until they had gone through a separation period, he was not sure that they could survive the obstacles that Scarlett would present. If they remained faithful during Wade’s absence, he would have to reconsider his opinion, but he could not relent. “I understand your ardent fervor, but I must remain firm. There is no need to rush such a permanent decision.” Wade studied his face and knew there would be no persuasion strong enough. He quietly shook Mr. Fontaine’s hand and retired to find Emily.
Thoughts of elopement, anger, and defiance ran through his mind as he dreaded facing Emily with such news. Although his mother’s name had not been mentioned, he knew that somehow she had something to do with this decision. How did she know about Emily? He had kept his intentions secret so that not even Will or Suellen had known about his proposal. No matter, he would have to abide by Mr. Fontaine’s wishes. He had seen the repercussions of an unblessed wedding, and he did not want Emily to feel the stress of being penniless or outcast from society. Once again, he considered the straightforward limits of the law, and because his current predicament held no legal implications, he was forced to abide by social guidelines, which seemed like shifting lines drawn in the sand, unjust, yet just as binding as a legal agreement.
When he confronted Emily with Mr. Fontaine’s request, her heart was broken, and impatience plagued her thoughts. How could she possibly wait, knowing that there would be no other, and the end of such a long hard road would yield the same results? She wanted to be married immediately, never to be separated, but Wade insisted that they follow the guidance of their elders, and because she must respect the leading of her future husband, she hesitantly obliged. However, they both knew that they could face the hardest difficulties with diligent obstinence, for they had overcome obstacles before; so Emily kept the ring on her finger, never removing it, keeping it close to her heart as a symbol of her devotion and loyalty. She had promised to marry Wade, and she was determined that no one could stand in the way of their union.
With spring came new life bursting forth, blooming magnolias, and soft, sweet rain, love songs whistled in the trees, and green leaves returning. Wade and Will had decided to wait until spring to invest in cattle for the first of breeding season, in order to save on feed. Will saved some of the profit from the cotton, and Wade had been able to salvage some of the money his mother sent monthly to buy a bull and four heifers. Wade had repaired the barn and cleared pasture for the cattle to graze, and he hoped Will could handle the added responsibilities while he was away at school.
Wade wanted to be sure that everything was manageable by the time he left in the fall for the university, so he worked all day every day completing a long list of chores. He repaired items and fixtures in the house, worked the fence to make sure the livestock would not roam beyond their borders, and helped plant as many acres of cotton as he thought Will and Big Sam could manage to harvest. Even as the days grew hotter, Wade continued. Emily began to worry for she was seeing him less and less, and when she did see him, he was strong, muscular, tan and his hair was bleaching again, giving his brown locks light highlights that curled around his face handsomely. However, he had been studying late every night and dark circles were forming under his eyes. He was exhausted with all of his work, and she worried that he would overwork himself, but he continued on. He would have to leave before harvest, and he wanted to make sure that everything was in order.
When it was finally time to leave, his mind raced wildly over lists and plans, and though he had accomplished the work of three men, he still agonized over his lack of completion, certain that he should delay his departure for another year. Will convinced Wade that he had control of the situation, and he and Big Sam could finish the few tasks that needed to be completed. Finally, Wade consented uneasily, and he began packing. He said long, agonizing good byes to Emily, wiping away tears that ran down her face like rivers, compelling her to be patient, for the year would pass quickly, and soon they would be together again. He promised that he would remain faithful to her and would write to her as often as he could. Then he hugged each member of his family before reluctantly heading to Atlanta to meet Uncle Ashley, who would take him on to Athens to begin his study at the University of Georgia.
Upon t
heir arrival at the university, Wade and Ashley began enrollment in the college of law, but they were immediately taken straight to the dean. He introduced himself as Mr. Wright and shook both of their hands before taking his seat behind his large oak desk. He looked over Wade’s enrollment papers, laid them on his desk, took off his glasses, and walked around to face them then sat on the corner of his desk with his hands crossed on his knees. He took a long, deep breath as if trying to decide how to best approach the subject, but finally he began, “Wade, it looks to me as if you are not quite ready to begin university life. You are rather young, and your schooling so far has lacked, shall we say… quality.”
Wade looked at him, slightly stunned by his comments, but belligerent just the same. “I believe I am fully prepared, sir. I have been studying independently for the past year, and I am quite familiar with legal concepts and theories, as well as important cases.”
Mr. Wright stood and walked to the window then turned suddenly, as though he felt compelled to make a decision concerning his admittance but was forced to go against his better judgment. “Your mother has made a rather large contribution to the university, and she has taken care of your tuition and living expenses.” He sighed then continued, “I must admit you, however, you must understand that your admittance is conditional.” He walked behind his desk and picked up a pen, ready to sign the documents upon Wade’s approval of the conditions. “You must maintain an appropriate grade point average. You may not fall behind on your studies, and you must make adequate progress while you are here. If at any time you fall behind, I will personally make sure that you are dismissed. Is that clear?”
Wade nodded his head in agreement, becoming angrier by the moment. He was once again being positioned in a situation that he felt he had no control. He did not want to be here in the first place and yet because of a promise to his uncle, and the manipulation of his mother, he was forced to bow to subjective regulations and whimsical assessments. Scarlett had exploited the system so that he did not have to receive entrance on his own merit, but he would have to prove himself worthy of an honor he did not want. As he had studied law on his own, he had loved the subject and longed to learn more, but he would have to pay the price by becoming a puppet. If only he had not committed to this frustrating experience, he would promptly return to Tara, where he would be with Emily, working toward harvest.
They left the office, finished their tour of the facilities, and Ashley made sure he was settled in his accommodations without speaking. Ashley understood Wade’s indignance for he had often felt it himself when he had been the object of Scarlett’s manipulation, but he hoped that the experience would benefit Wade in spite of his mother’s influence. Ashley made sure that Wade understood all of the procedures and was comfortable before leaving. Scarlett had made sure that Wade would have everything he needed including a clothing allowance and accounts at every store in Athens so he could make purchases as he saw fit. In his resentment Wade made sure that Ashley understood that he would rather starve than take any further help from his mother, and he began to immediately make plans to find work. Wade would certainly not allow his mother the opportunity to hold indebtedness over his head.
Before leaving Athens, Ashley spoke with his fellow graduates from years ago, and unbeknownst to Wade, had found him a job working in a bank, so that when Wade began hunting for a job, he had found one within a day, and he thought himself quite lucky and self-sufficient.
Classes began the very next week. Wade worked banker’s hours during the day and attended classes at night, studying until dawn, and he had to admit that very quickly, he learned to love school. He could smell the binding of a brand new book as it crackled when he opened it for the first time. He was entranced by the sheets of blank paper, unblemished by ink, and on them he meticulously copied his notes from class. He felt intrigued and challenged as he discussed important issues with his classmates that he had yearned to discuss with Emily and yet never had the chance. Now he was surrounded by like minds, willing and anticipating open discussions of disagreeable topics, debated until every detail had been discussed and either agreed upon or tabled for further discussion.
He enjoyed working at the bank, the atmosphere of serious business, and being surrounded by well-dressed men, discussing matters of importance. He worked well with numbers, and appreciated the predictable answer at the end of a long ledger, unlike farming where stable inputs could produce variable results. After class in the evening, he would sit in his small room at his desk, reading his textbooks until his eyes felt heavy, and his head began to droop. It was a dreary room with a small bed and dark curtains. There were no pictures or decorative pieces, just a small oak desk with an oil lamp and a large oak armoire. He could not stand to remain in the room unless he was working with the oil lamp throwing strange shadows in the corners, and so he visited only long enough to study and rest before resuming his daily routine.
Days, weeks, and months passed quickly as he rose to the top of his class earning the highest marks on written tasks and tests. For the first few weeks, Mr. Wright checked on Wade frequently, hoping to find him slacking, but surprisingly, Wade was quite knowledgeable about the legal system and the basic principles of law. Wade participated in discussions often, and he presented solid, logical arguments, making him the most sought after raconteur in the college. He proved himself to be intelligent, hard working, and dependable, and soon Mr. Wright found that he hardly checked on him at all. Wade was successful in every aspect of his life, aptly able to accomplish each task. He worked well at the bank and was recommended for promotion within the year, and began to work his way through the social ladder, attending functions, socials, and frequent invitations for dinner. He made friends quickly with the most respectable people in Athens, and unknowingly was considered an eligible bachelor to be sought by mothers looking for proper suitors for their daughters.
As much as Wade loved school and his life in Athens, he wanted more than anything to complete his education quickly, for he wanted to return to Tara and to Emily. He had never considered staying in a large city to practice law, for he loved farming, he loved Tara, and he wanted to make his life in the country. He longed for solitude and the peaceful life of Clayton County, and although he seemed to meet a large number of young ladies at each of the functions he attended, not one held a candle to Emily, and he missed her immensely.
He only visited Emily during the long Christmas holiday because the other breaks were spent studying or working, but when he called on Emily during Christmas, he realized he had missed her much more than he had realized, and it was almost impossible to tear himself away to return in January. He missed the touch of her hand, and he couldn’t bear to see her tears as they said goodbye. As soon as he returned, he doubled his class load and even took classes during the summer in order to finish more quickly. He had to complete his studies as he had promised Ashley, but each day he longed for the day he would return to the green fields of Tara and the open arms and big blue eyes of his darling Emily.