Noah was outside the buggy in a heartbeat. With narrowed eyes directed at Sam, he threatened, “Easy there.”
Sam stiffened next to me and rose up taller as he glared back at Noah. The two of them stood there not moving, with the sounds of the auctioneer and people talking not far away blending into the dusky evening. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Wasn’t there enough conflict in our lives already? I just wanted to be with Noah and have our families accept us together. Was that too much to ask?
“It’s okay, Noah,” I said forcefully, glancing hard at him. Then I whirled away from them both. I stalked through the cars to Sam’s truck, parked within sight. I was working hard to hold back the tears that were threatening to drop out of my eyes. Justin was already waiting in the front seat when I tried to climb in. I ordered him into the back. He scrambled over the console out of the path of my hurricane emotions.
I waited, looking straight ahead, praying inwardly that the two testosterone-filled guys didn’t come to blows. What was wrong with them anyway? I was running through the scene in my head when a minute later Sam jumped in and started the engine. Anger was emanating from him, but he wasn’t bruised or bloody. As he backed out, I warned him to go slow; there were lots of little kids around. Nodding, he exhaled loudly in agreement and drove carefully past the buggies, horses and people until we were finally free of the crowd and out on the road.
Without wasting time, I said in a sickly voice, “I don’t feel well, Sam.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me, Rose. You were perfectly fine a minute ago,” he accused.
“No, really, I haven’t felt well since dinner. Something didn’t sit well with me.” I doubted I’d win an Oscar, but for good measure, I cupped my hand over my mouth and made a gagging noise that caused Justin to start searching the backseat for a plastic bag.
“You hardly ate a thing. The food didn’t make you sick. Your boyfriend doesn’t want you to go to the party. Is that it?” He turned a sharp eye on me.
I kept up the act, though, until I felt as though I might really vomit and Sam had slammed on the breaks in front of the house. Justin jumped out and headed for the house, while I weakly opened the door and began to slide out. Before I was free of the truck, Sam grasped my arm again, which was beginning to become an annoying habit of his.
“Look, Rose, I’m not trying to be a jerk about Noah. I just don’t want you to get hurt.” He said it with seriousness that didn’t sound right coming from his mouth.
I nodded and muttered, “I know,” before pushing the door closed and walking slowly to the house. I actually got out of going to the party. Yay for me.
Sam backed around and drove back out the driveway. I couldn’t help being just a little touched by my big brother’s warped concern. But that thought disappeared quickly to be replaced by the desire to see Noah again on Wednesday.
When I’d finally find out what his parents were going to do about their son hooking up with a girl like me.
12
Noah
Discovered
THE DARK CLOUDS threatened rain, matching my mood. I quickly crossed the barn aisle to the tack room. Grabbing the saddle roughly from the rack, I hauled it on my shoulder back to Rumor, who waited patiently for me, not aware of the storm clouds on the horizon.
I couldn’t believe Wednesday was already here, and I hadn’t even had the chance to talk to Father and Mother about Rose. There were always people around. Either my littler brothers were shuffling underfoot or the girls were lurking around the corner. Whenever I even thought about starting up the discussion with Father, one of the children would pop out of nowhere, making it impossible. And then there was the unfortunate stroke of bad luck when the Bobcat broke down in the middle of bush-hogging the lower field. Father had been in such a bad mood the past few days that even if I’d somehow managed to catch him totally alone for a heart-to-heart about my future wife, it wouldn’t have been great timing.
As I was getting ready to meet Rose, I felt like a coward. What would she think? I told her that when I saw her next, I’d have news for her. Now, I had to try to explain that I never got the opportunity to even mention anything to my folks. She would probably think I was avoiding the subject on purpose. And then I worried even more that she’d get bored with where we were in our relationship. Maybe she’d begin to think there were better options. After all, she was beautiful and smart. She could have any English guy she wanted. And he’d be able to pick her up in his shiny car and take her to the movies. The only thing I could do at the moment was arrange secret meetings in cornfields and buggies, and even then there were problems.
I still bristled at the way Sam had yanked Rose’s arm, pulling her away from me. And that feeling nearly got me into a fight with her brother. I’d seen the look of fear on her face when Sam and I were sizing each other up. The last thing I wanted to do was cause her any pain. For the most part, I liked Sam. He was just trying to protect his little sister. I’d do the same for Sarah or Rachel. I was just so fed up with the entire situation with Rose. I didn’t like sneaking around and breaking my parents’ and the church’s rules, but I wasn’t going to give Rose up either. I had overreacted to Sam because of my own frustration with the lack of control I had in my life.
Leading Rumor out of the barn, I decided I’d have to apologize to Sam sometime soon. Rose and I would need all the allies we could gather in the days to come. As I swung into the saddle, I glanced up at the sky to see the clouds stacking ominously on top of each other. The wind was picking up, and it was unseasonably cool for July. I had my black knit hat on and was wearing a simple navy blue coat, so I was quite comfortable even in the stiff breeze.
I hoped Rose dressed appropriately, but I figured I’d probably end up giving her my coat to wear anyway. Hearing the clip-clops of hooves on the road, I slowed Rumor to watch two buggies go by. Arms came out of the open windows, followed by several beeps ringing into the air for me. I waved back. There was a baseball game at the schoolhouse for the youth group tonight. I would have to plan my timing carefully to avoid meeting someone on the road. Once the Yoders were well away, I took Rumor into a slow canter down the driveway, hoping to get to the hidden fields before another buggy came up the road. The community had been buzzing with activity all evening, and for over an hour bicycles and carriages had been zipping by the house, heading toward the schoolhouse.
Inwardly I cringed at having to explain to Jacob and Sarah later that I’d opted to go for a ride alone rather than meet with the others for the game. It would look very suspicious. These events were mandatory, especially now that I was supposed to be looking for a mate.
Sighing deeply, I crossed through the gap in the fence and began searching for Rose. I was a few minutes early, so I wasn’t expecting to see her, but there she was, waiting by the hedgerow for me. Surprisingly, she had a warm-looking pink jacket on. Granted, she stuck out like a sore thumb against the green vegetation around her, but at least she wouldn’t be cold.
The sudden urge to be with her was too great, causing my legs to bump Rumor’s sides, sending him into a gallop. When she saw me coming, not understanding my desire, she let her horse go and galloped up alongside me, challenging for another race. Allowing all my worries to blow away with the pounding wind, I leaned down and pushed Rumor faster. We ran side by side over the tractor path with the horses perfectly in sync. I didn’t think either horse was eager to leave the other.
When I glanced sideways at her, Rose had a big grin on her face that made my heart thump hard in my chest. It was crazy how I reacted to her. I’d only known her for a couple of weeks, and I was already in love with her. Seeing Rose happy, even for that brief instant, nearly sucked the breath out of me. We ran like that with total abandon until we came to the curve, where we both stood in our saddles, leaning back to slow the horses.
Rose’s face was flushed from the wind, and her hair blew wildly around her. At that moment she was more beautiful than I’d ever seen her. Her fa
ce was eager and expectant, but I glanced away, unable to immediately darken the moment.
“Hey, how was the rest of your weekend?” she asked casually enough, but her eyes were unusually bright when I looked back at her.
“Boring—what about you, did you put on a good act for Sam?” I examined her face closely for a possible lie, still worried that she might have gone to the party after all.
She broke out into a wide grin. “Not only did I get out of going to the party, but Justin waited on me hand and foot all evening, thinking I was really sick. It was kind of great,” she said with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.
Well, that made me feel better. I relaxed a little, preparing to tell her about my lack of opportunity to have the important discussion with my parents, when she launched right into it.
“What did your parents say?” she asked under her long eyelashes in a little voice.
Taking her hand, I brought it up to my mouth and kissed her palm, smiling down at her before I said, “I didn’t get the chance to talk to them, Rose. Father was never alone. And then he wasn’t in a very good mood.”
“I guess it would be difficult to have a private conversation in a house with eight kids.” She laughed, not seeming to be bothered by what I’d said.
She handled the news better than I expected, worrying me a tad that she didn’t seem to really understand the seriousness of the matter. As much as I’d wanted to get the conversation with Father out of the way, I was also terrified of how he and Mother would react. They would be more than unhappy about it—they’d be devastated. And the fact that Rose didn’t fully get it made me realize that even though she looked the part of a young woman ready for courtship, her mind was still childlike.
Her laugh turned into a flirtatious smile, clouding the doubts that had crept up within me. I couldn’t resist her. Bending down, I kissed her lips, with the bouncing of the horses moving our mouths for us.
Pulling out of the sweet kiss before I wanted her to, she began thinking hard with her lips pushed out and her brow tight. I wondered what she was thinking, but I humored her, waiting patiently for her next question.
“Why are there so many kids in your family?” she finally blurted out.
Hmm, this will be an interesting one to answer, especially when I was trying to be so restrained around her physically. I took my time considering the different ways I could explain, until she made a sexy growling sound in an attempt to get my attention.
Unable to avoid the suggestive smile I was sure was developing on my face, I answered her truthfully. “We don’t use birth control, Rose.” Seeing her eyes widen to plate size, I had to control myself from laughing at her.
“You’re kidding!” she gasped.
Now I was curious. “Why is that so hard for you to believe?” I was hoping her answer wasn’t going to bother me. I hated being frustrated with her during our rare times together.
She let out a loud breath and lightly shook her head. “It’s just that…well…hmm.” She stopped talking, and she held her lips tightly together. Her skin turned an appealing shade of bright red.
“What were you going to say, Rose? Come on, tell me,” I encouraged her, squeezing her hand and shaking it. “You can talk to me about anything, anything at all,” I tried to convince her gently.
When she met my eyes again, she was still red-faced but apparently resolved to speak. She picked her words carefully. “That means that a couple of healthy…and affectionate people would always be pregnant.” When I continued to stare at her and not get ruffled by her point, she arched her eyes and went on more forcefully, “The woman would be in a constant state of pregnancy. She’d get all worn-out, tired and old.” She wrinkled her cute little nose in disgust at the thought.
“I hadn’t really thought about it like that,” I said, wondering if maybe she did have a point. Mother did seem tired most of the time.
“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t mind having a few kids—maybe even four. That’s a nice number.” Pausing, she peeked at me with confused eyes, and she asked with worry, “You wouldn’t want more kids than that, would you?”
Her agitation was amusing, and I couldn’t help chuckling about it. Again I brought her hand to my mouth and kissed it. That didn’t satisfy me. So I leaned over to her neck and kissed her there, lingering long enough to breathe in her lavender scent.
“You worry too much. We haven’t even gotten to the official courting yet, and already you’re in a titter about the children.” I tried to hide my smile.
Her mouth dropped open and out came a “But—”
Cutting her off, I said, “Really, we aren’t supposed to use birth control, but I’d never want you to have more children than you could handle or wanted. I could live with four—and maybe you’d change your mind later on.”
Wanting desperately to know what she was thinking, I intently studied her for signs. Her face was scrunched up and she twisted a wad of her mare’s thick mane between her fingers—I took both as signs that she was anxious about the discussion we were having.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, very much afraid of what her answer would be. Maybe she was changing her mind about being with me.
She glanced at me and then away, saying, “This is all a lot to process at one time. I wasn’t planning to get married and have kids until I was, like, twenty-eight or something. I can hardly believe that we’re even talking about this stuff.”
The air went out of me, and I suddenly felt very tired. What was I doing with Rose in the first place? Though I wouldn’t admit it before, I worried that she would bolt from me at any moment. I couldn’t possibly hold on to such an independent girl. She was an outsider and she’d been brought up with a whole different set of rules to live by. How could I expect her to change her entire way of thinking for me?
I couldn’t.
“Look, it’s just our way, that’s all. You don’t have to agree with it,” I said.
Besides the creaking of our saddles, there was silence for a minute. I was afraid to say anything else on the subject, waiting for her instead, but when the quiet started to become uncomfortable, I opened my mouth to speak. She beat me to it, though.
“Hmm…that’s interesting how you can change the rules when you really want to.” She grinned up at me.
Her complete change of emotions threw me off and it must have shown on my face, because she quickly followed up, saying, “It’s okay, we don’t have to figure everything out today.”
Relief surged through me, invigorating my senses.
I wasn’t taking any chances of the conversation souring, though, so I stayed in what I thought was safe territory.
“Do you have your driver’s license?”
She looked mildly surprised by the change of subject. “No, I have my permit. Unfortunately, I don’t get to drive much.”
“Why not?” I was truly interested now and marveled that a girl her age was allowed to operate a car on the road.
“Well, Sam won’t let me drive his truck—says it’s too big for me—and Dad’s always working, so he doesn’t have the time to go with me. I won’t be able to drive alone until I’m seventeen.” She seemed bothered by all that, but then she added, “Up until now I’ve been lucky, because all my friends have cars and they’ve always taxied me around.”
I realized right then that I hadn’t even gotten a real glimpse of her world, and instantly wanted to know more. “What are your friends like?”
“Amanda and Britney are my best friends. They’re both a year older than me, in Sam’s grade. But since I’ve always tagged along with his friends, it was just natural for them to take me in. I’m like their little mascot.”
“Do they have boyfriends?”
“Amanda and Heath have been hot and heavy for two years now, and I think they might actually get married someday, but Britney plays the field.” She paused, laughing. “I think she’s dated just about every cute guy in her class and mine.”
“And your f
riends…do they sleep with their boyfriends?’
She glanced shyly at me before answering. “Yeah, Amanda and Heath are quite the item. Britney doesn’t sleep around or anything like that, but she isn’t a virgin either.”
The word virgin coming out of a girl’s mouth so readily heated my face. I took a long minute to think about what she had said while we ambled through the cornfields, her hand curled safely in mine.
“So, what kind of things do you do with your friends, then?” I asked carefully.
“During the summer we go to King’s Island and the ‘Beach’—that’s a big water park. We also go to all the open-air rock concerts, the movies and out to eat at the cheaper restaurants. But sometimes we just hang out at the mall and shop.”
“It must be pretty boring for you here in Meadow View,” I observed, with fear creeping through my bones that she could ever get used to living a Plain lifestyle.