“I want to welcome you all to my home,” my father said in a booming voice. “Tonight, we have the usual business to attend to, but before that, there are two matters that need to be addressed.”
There was a rolling whisper among the crowd. If the Coalition members had agreed to dissolve Slade’s pack, that would be one thing. But none of them knew about the other…
“First, I am formally announcing the termination of the courting between my daughter, Makensey Rebekah Deaton and Gavin Slade McAlister. No further action will be taken. It was agreed upon by both parties that they are not a suitable match.”
I didn’t—couldn’t—look up to face him, but I heard Slade’s heart beat faster. I heard Gavin, too. “What kind of stunt is this? You can’t—”
“Next,” my father said without missing a beat, “we must address the status of the McAlister pack.”
Gavin was suddenly as quiet as death. My heart thundered an uneven rhythm to match Slade’s. It pounded so hard my chest actually hurt. I felt his eyes on me, I felt his surprise, but I couldn’t lift my head. I still couldn’t look at him.
“It is the unanimous decision of the other coalition members that the McAlister pack is, from this moment, dissolved. All wolves—”
“This is an outrage!” Gavin jumped from his seat and stalked toward the front of the room. “You can’t do this.”
My father didn’t even blink. Two of his guards were on Gavin in seconds, dragging him from the room as he screamed.
“As I was saying,” he continued. “All wolves wishing to bind themselves to another alpha are welcome to arrange a meeting. Those who do not wish to go that route are free to leave the area. No harm is to come to any of them. We ask that they vacate the territory by midnight tomorrow.” He cleared his throat. “I trust you will relay the message, Slade?”
“Yes, sir,” Slade responded. His voice sounded strange, but I didn’t dare look up. “Thank you.”
There was an eruption of chatter, but it was all just static. Background noise that barely registered over the sound of my thumping heart. I made the mistake of lifting my head, and my gaze caught on Slade. The worst thing of all in that moment?
He looked completely indifferent.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Slade
The meeting ended, and everyone filtered into the dining room. Deaton always served the best shit after his pow-wows. I was invited to stay, even approached by several of the alphas with interest in adding me to their stable. I had no intention of sticking around. I was free of pack life. I was free of Gavin. There was nothing he could do to keep me tied here. I was getting up and walking out that front door without ever looking back.
Yet I was still sitting in the same chair, long after everyone had left the room.
“You’re still here.” Sam Deaton appeared in the doorway. He leaned against the frame and folded his arms. “I thought you would be in the next county by now.”
I’d always hated the man. Not for any real reason other than he’d always hated me. I didn’t have the energy anymore. Had my mother lived, I wondered if I would have turned out to be a different person. A different wolf. Would Gavin’s hate, his violence, have poisoned my life so completely? Would I have been good enough for Kensey? “Would you believe I’m working up to it?”
He took the seat three down from me but said nothing.
Never one for silence, I said, “Thank you. For dissolving the pack.”
“Don’t thank me. It was my daughter.” I tried to hide my surprise, but Sam was a sharp wolf. He saw right through me. “I know it was all a lie to start with. It turned into something more… But I can overlook it, because of the outcome. Tell me, have you considered speaking with one of the other alphas? I will put in a good word on your behalf if you’d like.”
“Why would you do that? You hate me.”
“Hate is a bit too strong a word. Your friendship with my daughter has always…troubled me. You have been running from who you were from almost the moment you were born. You stick up your nose at our traditions, you deny your wolf to the point where you have little control over it—and your temper. But I believe your ignorance is a result of Gavin’s lack of guidance and mistreatment. With the right pack, you could be happy.”
“Thanks, but like you said, I’ve been trying to get away from this my whole life. With all due respect, sir, I would rather die than tie myself to another alpha. Pack life isn’t for me.”
He nodded. “One of the many reasons you were never a good fit for her.”
“I know—and I don’t think it’s something you’ll ever have to worry about.”
“Yes. I suppose that would be my cue to thank you.” He stood and started for the door but paused in the entry way. “You know, I knew your mother very well. We were close when we were younger, and I will say this… You are more like her than you are Gavin. Never forget that.”
“Thank you, sir. What will happen to her?”
Sam frowned. “Nothing. I won’t make her go through with it. I’ll have a fight on my hands, as it’s our turn to share our gift, but she won’t be forced into something she doesn’t want.”
I stood and crossed to where he was and held out my hand. “Your word?”
He hesitated, then with a nod and a firm grip on my hand said, “On my word.”
With nothing more, he disappeared around the corner. If I hurried, I could pack some shit and be on a bus out of town tonight. I had no idea where I’d go or what I’d do for cash—I wanted nothing to do with Gavin or his money—but I’d be free, and that’s all that mattered. The rest I’d figure out as I went.
I made it midway across the lawn between our two houses when I felt her watching me. “Not going to say goodbye?” I asked without turning around.
“Are you?” she countered. “You really leaving?”
“No reason to stay.”
“Guess not.” There was a hint of anger in her voice. I was glad. It was easier to deal with than sadness.
“Why did you ask him to do it? After what I did, why follow through?”
One of the boards on the treehouse creaked, and I knew she’d settled on the edge, on the far corner away from the house. “Because you needed it, Slade. That’s what love is. It’s doing what’s best for the other person, even if it hurts.”
That’s what love is…
My chest was tight, and I found it hard to breathe. Still, I forced the words out. “Yeah, well that’s probably why I’ve never really loved anyone, Princess. I’m not willing to hurt myself for someone else.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kensey
My father insisted multiple times I didn’t have to go through with it. That he’d find a way to challenge the system. But I’d seen the shit the coalition gave him in the days after Slade left. It would never end. They’d unseat him and drive us out, and the truth was my father was the best thing for our community. He was strong, and he was fair. The wolves were circling the gate, but I refused to give them what they wanted.
We’d announced my intention to merge with Josh Fluza last night. I didn’t know much about him other than he was freakishly tall with a love of food. He planned to apply to the Culinary Institute of America when he graduated. We’d seen each other around school, but like the others, he ran with different crowds. I supposed now I’d have to integrate. Be more social and swallow my pride.
Now, as I sat under the tree on the edge of the PIT, I found it hard to even care. I was throwing my life away? My dreams? I’d given in to the patriarchal crap that had plagued female wolves for thousands of years?
Big freaking deal.
All I could really think about was Slade. When I’d gotten to school that next morning, everyone was talking—wolves and humans. The infamous troublemaker Slade McAlister had skipped town. He’d been seen heading east across the line after midnight.
“Are you insane?” Risa stormed across the lot and stopped about a foot away from me. She was able to st
ay, because she was in the process of interviewing for one of the packs. I didn’t know which—and I didn’t care. We hadn’t spoken since before Slade left. Her shadow towered over me, blocking out what little sun shone through the branches. “Tell me I misheard.”
“I can’t,” I replied with a shrug. “It’s true. A tarantula can really survive for more than two years without food.”
She growled and plopped down in the grass in front of me. “What the hell, Kensey? You really going to go through with it?”
“Ooooh,” I said, offering her a dramatic nod. “You mean Josh Fluza, don’t you?”
“Why?”
“Because it’s the Deaton pack’s turn.” The words left a bitter taste in my mouth, but I didn’t give myself away. I didn’t like it—didn’t want it—but I’d made peace with it.
“So that’s it, then? You’re just going to forget about Slade?”
“Last I heard he left town.” I was proud of myself for speaking evenly. For not falling apart and curling into a ball.
“I’m asking you what happened.” She was losing her patience. Her voice kept rising, and her arms were rigid at her sides. “He’s been gone almost a week. I haven’t heard from him. He didn’t even say goodbye.”
“Really?” I picked my books up and stood, brushing the dead leaves from my jeans. “Because he said goodbye to me.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Merrick said you guys broke up. I refuse to believe you two ended things mutually.”
“You’re right.” It came out soft. Just one step above a cracked whisper. It was the most emotion I’d shown over the whole thing. “It wasn’t mutual. It was his choice.”
She shook her head. “I don’t believe you.”
“Doesn’t mean it’s not true.” I’d liked Risa. She was fun and spunky and cut right to the chase. In another lifetime, I could see us being good friends. But with Slade gone, just looking at her was like taking a chainsaw to the chest. “He decided I wasn’t worth the effort. I never was.”
“Please,” Risa snapped. “This is because he’s convinced he’s not good enough for you? How could you let him walk—”
“He’s not good enough for me.” I was trying very hard to control myself. I hadn’t spoken about this with anyone. I wasn’t sure I could push the words past my lips.
“What?” Her face paled.
I took a deep breath and in my calmest voice repeated, “He’s not good enough for me. Good enough would have meant staying put and trying, even though it was hard. Good enough would have meant fighting for me—which he chose not to do.”
“Bullshit,” she said with a shake of her head.
I stood and brushed off my jeans. “If it was bullshit then he’d be here right now, wouldn’t he? He wouldn’t have run away and left me behind. Face it, Risa, Slade might not be like Gavin—but he is a McAlister. They’re not known for sticking around when the going gets tough. Hell, even his mother took the easy way out.”
Her mouth fell open, and she hit me. An open-palmed slap to the face that echoed inside my head. She could have done worse. Risa was the kind of girl you didn’t cross. And honestly? I deserved worse. What I’d said was horrible—but it had the intended outcome.
I’d made her angry enough to leave.
With any luck, that would be the last I heard from her. I didn’t need reminders of what had happened. I needed to move on.
Chapter Thirty
Slade
I downed the rest of my drink and set the glass back on the bar. I’d left home almost two weeks ago and ended up in New Jersey, at a dive called Romeo’s. The owner, Marco, had hired me off the books to clean up three mornings a week. At night, he let me drink for half price.
Tonight, my wolf was restless. The progress I’d made just a month ago had evaporated, and it was getting harder and harder to keep it contained. It was angrier, hungrier, and impossible to settle. The tricks I’d used to employ to tamp it down were useless. The thing was nonresponsive, usually causing me to spend endless hours simply running through the woods to expel the excess energy. Even then, it never calmed completely. It was like a constant itch just beneath my skin I couldn’t scratch.
“I’m out,” I said to Misaki, the bartender. She was an exchange student from Japan, and I hardly understood a word she said, but she was always nice. Always smiling. I could only take her in small doses.
Everything had been reduced to small doses. Eating, socializing, speaking… Even sleeping was a chore. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Kensey’s face. I heard her voice and felt her sadness, just as real as if I was standing right in front of her. If I managed to get more than an hour or two of shut eye, it was a miracle.
Misaki nodded and waved then went back to her customers. Several seconds later, there was a hoot and a laugh then clinking glasses and sloshing liquids.
I got outside and pulled my jacket tighter around my shoulders. We were more susceptible to cold—to anything, really—when our wolves were unsettled. Bad moods, good moods, all kinds of outside stimuli…
Three blocks from the bar, I heard footsteps behind me. Two sets. Both men. I’d been hassled a couple times since getting here. Usually some drunk guy looking for a handout. This was different. These men were steady and controlled. These men walked with a purpose.
These men were wolves.
I’d wondered how long it would be before Gavin sent someone after me. I’d crumpled his empire and gotten him dethroned and banished from his kingdom. He’d have to know I had a hand in it. Something like that wouldn’t go unpunished. He would have used up every last resource and spent the rest of his days hunting me down.
Lucky for him I hadn’t been trying to hide.
I picked up my pace and hung a left at the corner, heading into the section of road with no street lights. They wanted me? My wolf would be more than happy to oblige. Unfortunately, another two blocks, only one away from the hotel I’d been staying at, and they still hadn’t made a move.
I slowed my pace as I approached my room, fidgeting with my keys for a few moments before opening the door. They were still there, lingering in the darkness around the corner of the building. It made sense. As careless as Gavin could be at times, he’d have instructed them to do this quietly if I was living among humans. They would wait until I was inside and then make their move. That was the one rule he’d never rebelled against directly. People weren’t ready to know about us.
Always the helpful kind of guy, I left the door unlocked and went to sit on the bed.
It took less than five minutes for the doorknob to jiggle. I heard their surprise when it turned, unhindered, and felt their excitement as they entered to find their prey sitting mere feet away. Alone and unarmed.
“Took you long enough.”
The two exchanged glances. I didn’t know them, and their scent wasn’t familiar. If I’d had to guess, Gavin had already set up shop someplace else and had started recruiting.
Neither wolf made a move to leave. I sighed and stood. “Bring me back or kill me?”
“The penalty for betraying your pack is death,” the taller of the two said. He had deep-set eyes and white-blond hair that was closely shaven. He was rigid and formal, and I could tell he took no enjoyment from this mission. Just following orders.
“Fair enough.” Technically I had betrayed them. Though, in turn, Gavin had betrayed the wolf community in general on multiple occasions, so…
“Will you die honorably?” the other asked. Unlike the first wolf, this one was more Gavin’s style. Stocky stature and a gleam of cruelty in his eyes. They spoke of honor? There was nothing honorable about this wolf.
A growl rumbled in my throat, and my wolf stirred. The prospect of a fight excited it. If I was being honest, it excited me, too. I’d let Gavin’s enforcers beat on me, sometimes taking things to a point where I was sure I’d never see the next day. I’d never lifted a finger to stop them, convinced every blow was punishment from a higher power. For the things I’d done, f
or being who I was, for thinking the way I did.
Now, though, I could see that was all bullshit. The distance had given me perspective. Sam had given me perspective… He’d said under the right leadership I would have been different. I would have been happy. It was a long road, but I finally understood that he was right. It was too late, but he was right. My actions, my faults—those were on Gavin. These wolves might kill me, but this time I wasn’t going down without a fight. I was damaged in a way that could never quite be fixed, but I didn’t deserve this.
I grinned and stood. “I’ll die fighting.”
Dropping to my knees, I slipped into the change with ease—but I didn’t attack. Instead, I crouched low, my hackles rising as I continued to growl out a warning. Leave now or change and fight.
Kensey would have been proud. I was giving them a chance.
The taller one shook his head. He took a single step back. Then, another. Without a word, he slipped through the door, leaving his partner alone.
“Looks like it’s just you and me,” he said with a grin. He made a show of unbuttoning his shirt and toeing off his boots. “Gavin told me you were an easy mark. A pushover. Looks like he might have been wrong. I’m glad about that.”
I snorted as he got down on all fours. Hurry up.
He was vulnerable in the moments before, during, and just after his shift. Only a few months ago, I would have taken advantage of that fact. Both my wolf and I would have been in perfect sync and gone in for the kill while he was open to attack.
Now, I waited. My wolf side reasoned it was more sporting this way. More of a challenge. My human side knew it was because of something else.
Because of someone else.
When he finished and stood, he shook off the change and growled at me. In turn, I growled back and snapped at the air, missing him by inches. His eyes widened, and I snapped again, this time clipping his left shoulder. Not the pushover you were expecting?
His hackles rose in response, and he leaped at me. We collided, a writhing mass of fangs, fur, and claws. His teeth sank into my hindquarter. I yelped and struck back, taking a mouthful from his side. I almost had him pinned, but he panicked and thrashed around so I wouldn’t have a clear shot at his underbelly or throat. He would have been successful, too, if the scent of another wolf—a female—hadn’t distracted him.