Chapter 22
Real Feelings in a Song
As I drove over Mt. Tamapais to Strawberry Hill, I thought about the months we had come to know our Nutmeg, and how glad I was that we had found the home we did for her. We are not always so fortunate, though we try really hard to find not just a “suitable” home for our kids, but one that’s really as perfect as can be for them. The Braidons were certainly ideal parents for Katy, which is what she now wished to be called. She seemed to feel it was finally alright to give up her previously selected name, a good sign in her accepting and finally establishing her identity.
Pulling into the driveway I saw Kim and Katy practicing cartwheels and back flips on the long green lawn, with Buffy the dog running alongside of them barking joyously. Buffy noticed me and began running toward the car, now safely parked near the garage and the girls came running after him. The girls were shouting, the dog barking, and as I got out of the car I held my finger to my mouth and said “Sh, I can’t hear myself think, much less hear what either of you are saying!”
Kim spoke sternly to Buffy: “No barking -- “and Buffy sat, looking at her quizzically, but was quiet.
“Oh Miss Helen, we’re so happy to see you!” exclaimed Katy excitedly.
“And I am happy to see you both as well,” I replied.
“Let’s go in. Mom and Dad are waiting for you,” Kim interjected and led the way into the sunny kitchen where Jack and Sue were having a cool drink.
“Come join us,” they said together, as Sue poured me a tall glass of coolness.
“Thanks.” I sat down at the table with them all. “So tell me, how are things and what’s happening?”
“I’m taking dance lessons and I got an award at camp in gymnastics,” offered Katy. “And Kim got one, too. We’re both really good at gymnastics.”
“You’re better than I am,” said Kim quickly, “but I’m better at tap and even ballet.” But you’ll catch up with me, I think.”
Jack intervened: “Girls, how about you two go do something constructive and let your Mom and I have a little time with Miss Helen now? You can have her all to yourself after dinner, Katy.”
The girls looked a bit annoyed with their Dad, but took off outdoors and I soon heard them giggling together at something. They obviously enjoyed their time together.
“They’re a handful, said Sue, “but a wonderful one.”
“How are things going?” I asked. “From where I am, looks as though the girls are doing well together.”
“Oh yes, they are. They do occasionally have little spats, but I think that’s normal, and Jack and I pretty well stay out of their little arguments unless we feel something’s really not right. We do have a question about school this fall, however. We took Katy to school and they had gotten her records from Pleasant Valley. They feel she’d be in the advanced third grade here, and Kim will be in her gifted extra-curricular programs as well, since they combine third and fourth. Do you think that’s OK? We are a bit concerned about their both being in the same group. What do you think? The school can move them around a bit so they’d be in different groups.”
“That could become an issue, but I wonder if you’ve asked the girls about it, together and perhaps also individually. They may really want to be together, or one of them may have feelings about wanting to be separate. Since they will be in separate grades, they’ll each have ample time to make separate friends. They’d only be together for the hour gifted program after school. Well -- I’d suggest you ask them.” Those of us at Children’s Garden firmly believed children should have the right to make choices.
“Well, how about we do that during dinner, then?” asked Jack.
“Sounds good,” I replied. How is it day to day with two lively little girls to keep you running? I asked.
“Run is an accurate description of my days, Helen,” said Sue, “but I really love it. If I don't get gray before my time, I’ll just keep on loving it.”
We all laughed as the girls tumbled into the kitchen with Buffy following closely.
“When’s dinner?” they asked together.”We’re HUNGRY!”
“Coming up soon now. Why don’t you go change for dinner and wash your hands?” replied Sue.
“OK, but do we have to change clothes too, Mom? Why?” whined Kim.
“Because we have a guest for dinner. You know why, Kim. Now go do it, both of you!” Sue responded rather sharply.
“Awww - mom --”. They both left the room whining. How very normal was my thought.
We sat down to a feast of scrumptious wonderful food. Lucky kids, these. They got fed the best fresh food available, unlike lots of kids placed in foster homes that have to scrimp to feed large numbers of kids. And dessert was probably the best Crème Brule I’ve ever eaten.
During dinner, Sue opened the subject of the after school gifted program to the girls. They were very clear that they wanted to attend it together in the same group. It was clear from their comments that they viewed each other as both inspiration and helper and were really set on doing this together, as they were their gymnastics and dance classes. Seldom have I seen two youngsters so close in age, also so close emotionally. It was clear they sometimes were competing, but it was a healthy competition recognized by both and enjoyed, and each seem to revel in the other’s accomplishments.
“C’mon Mom and Dad, “said Kim, “You said you were getting me a sister to enjoy. And you did. So how about letting us enjoy each other and stop worrying about whether we want to be together. Of course we do!” Kim looked at Katy meaningfully, who picked up the cue immediately.
“Yeah,” Katy remarked, how come you two worry about us when we don’t?”
“Well," Jack said, “I guess we’ve been told,” as he looked at his wife with a broad grin.
After dinner, Katy took my arm and said, “Let’s go for a walk to the park, Miss Helen.”
It was still light, though the sun would be setting soon, so I said “OK.” And off we went, hand in hand like old times when Katy had been our Nutmeg at Children’s Garden.
As we walked, Katy crooned a song, singing the popular Dolly Parton song:
“My love for you is deeper than the depths of any ocean,
And as faithful as the stars that grace the night,
As constant as the sun making its journey through heavens,
and we'll always be together you and I.”
“I heard that on my radio,” she said. And I thought of you. Will we always be together , Miss Helen? Will I always be able to see you?”
“Oh Katy, of course we’ll always be together in our hearts. We both may move away physically someday. My husband and I are talking about going back east, but you’ll always be in my heart, dear, and I hope I will be in yours.” I stopped and gave her a big hug. She clung for a bit, then broke free and ran ahead, shouting, “Come on, let’s get to the ridge where we can see the sunset.” Apparently our views of the sunset in the past had made their mark, and sharing yet another was important to her.
As we watched the golden sun sink below the horizon, Katy pulled my arm and said: “Come, if we go down the hill we can watch it again!” And so we did, scrambling over the rocky path to the crest of a small hill below where we watched the sun turn golden and the sky streak with shades of rose and purple and gold. I held her in my arms and we both sighed as the nighttime came.
“I just had to share that with you,” Katy said. “My sister showed me about seeing two sunsets. Isn’t it wonderful?
“Yes, Katy, it’s wonderful, it truly is. And you seem to really like Kim and get along well with her,” I went on.
“Yeah, we decided we’re soul mates,” she said and looked at me with a face filled with radiant pleasure. “Did you know we were going to be soul mates, Miss Helen?”
“I laughed. “No, I didn’t know that, Katy, but I am surely glad to hear it. Now tell me about the rest of your family and how thin
gs are for you now, Katy.”
“I don’t know where to begin, Miss Helen. My family is just wonderful. Well, I mean as wonderful as parents can be, I think. Sometimes they get cross with us, but we usually deserve it. We get kind of loud sometimes,” she relayed rapidly. “We both love fooling around and sometimes we get Buffy to barking too much, or we play a joke on them. Sometimes they think it’s funny, but sometimes they get mad at us. But they don’t stay mad very long. We always get a hug and a kiss before bed so we figure they’re over being mad then. Sometimes we stay awake too long in each other’s rooms. We want to have a room together before school starts -- and then they get mad again, but we really can’t help it, Miss Helen. We really have so much to talk about!”
I laughed as I thought to myself: “Couldn’t be more perfect.”
“Miss Helen, do you think you could tell Mom and Dad we should have our room together?” asked Katy with winning smile.
“I giggled at Katy. “Hey missy, now don’t you start maneuvering me.” I said, remembering how easily she had manipulated at Children’s Garden. Old habits do not die easily.
“Oh I’m not, -- I wouldn’t. It’s just really, really important, Miss Helen,” she said earnestly.
“Then perhaps you and Kim had better talk to your parents together about it,” I said. “I’m sure you are both capable of doing that. You don’t need me to intervene for you. ” I replied.
“Are you sure?” she asked wistfully. “We thought it would be best if you told them first that it’d be OK with Children’s Garden.”
“Hmm, well, I think not, Katy. Your parents are the final say now, not Children’s Garden.”
She looked up at me with a puzzled expression. “But don’t I still belong to Children’s Garden?” she asked.
“Yes, until the Court finalizes your adoption, I suppose you do, but we are confident your parents are the right parents, and so we have given them all our power,” I explained.
“ALL of it?” she asked.
“Yes, Katy, all of it.”
“OK,” she sighed a very long sigh. “Then we’ll do it ourselves. Shall we go back then?”
“Sure,” I said, realizing that the purpose of the requested appointment from Katy had been to assure her that her family really was hers and that it was alright with Children’s Garden whom she had come to trust. This gave her permission to believe in and trust her new family, and perhaps to form a genuine attachment which would stand her in good stead for the rest of her life.
I learned a couple weeks later that the girls had moved together into the large playroom, making it their bedroom. According to Sue, the two girls were “simply ecstatic to be together so they could chatter half the nights away.”
As the summer came to a close, I went to visit a few times and found a happy family full of energy and joy and coping extremely well with small daily problems. Both girls had enjoyed summer camp and were eager to return to school. Both had received awards at camp: Kim had received the award for “Most helpful Camper” and Katy had earned a “First Place” ribbon for her gymnastics prowess. When I went to visit on a late August Friday afternoon, the girls proudly took me to their room and showed me their awards, now framed on their wall. As a special treat I took them both to the Pier for dinner and then to see Black Stallion, a film adaptation of Walter Farley's story for children that tells the tale of the remarkable relationship between a young boy and an Arabian stallion. Some elements of the film struck the girls as similar to their story, especially the parts about how the stallion and boy become fast friends. It was a fun evening for all of us.
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