Chapter 16
I’m sitting at my vanity perfecting my makeup when there’s a knock at my door, “It’s open,” a second later Trevor bursts through the door, immediately he starts pacing behind me. I watch him through the mirror until I just can’t take it anymore, “what’s your deal?” I ask even though I already know. He looks all disheveled in sweats; his hair is all over the place looking like a hot mess. He looks like every girl’s dream—just not mine, because that’d be a little gross.
He runs a hand through his hair and stands behind me eyeing my reflection, “because I want to look good tonight to impress Kim and I don’t even know what she likes,” he says.
I roll my eyes and shake my head, “you’re crazy town crazy!” I laugh and turn to face him, “you,” I smile at him, “she likes you,” I nod at his disbelief, “it’s true. She’s already attracted to you and she will be even more so seeing you in a tux,” I smile, “every girl needs a little James Bond.”
He looks at me, gives me the eye, “you’re positive?”
I nod, “yup, I wouldn’t get your hopes up like that,” I laugh, “girls at school already go nuts over you and now that you’re single they’re all like in a frenzy,” I look down at my palette of eye shadows, “Kim would be insane not to vouch for you.”
He nods and claps his hands, his smile’s spiked with a little bit of confidence, “will you help me with my hair?”
I stop searching for the perfect color combos so I can see his face; I turn, eyes raised in disbelief, “uh yeah of course.”
“Did I just hear you ask Lex to fix your hair?” Melissa walks into the room and gives Trevor a kiss on the cheek, “ah the baby girl I always wanted,” she winks at me and then snaps a ton of pictures of me and Trevor, ignoring our protests, “I just need thousands of pictures of this monumental moment,” she sighs and then frowns, “Weird,” she shakes her head.
I look at Trevor who shrugs, “What?”
Melissa smiles and plops on my bed, “it’s just weird how things turn out,” she fidgets with a snag on my comforter, “I mean you and Kammie use to doll each other up,” she makes a face, “and here it is the end of the year formal and you’re helping Trevor with his hair instead,” she smiles softly to herself.
“Yeah things change,” I whisper to myself and then I turn to Trevor, “you better go get your hair gel,” then I turn back to my makeup and make the final selections before I apply it to my face.
Trevor returns and I hop up to give him my seat. We roll our eyes as Melissa takes more pictures. I slather some putty between my fingers and roll it all around just before I run my fingers through his hair. He looks really good at this point and he doesn’t even have his tux on. I watch him leave the room and wipe my hands off on a face wipe. Melissa stares at me through the mirror, “What?”
She licks her lips and gets off of my bed; she pauses at my door, “is he okay?”
I finish cleaning my hands and pat my hair down glancing at myself, “he’s fine, I mean he’s a little down and all but other than that he’s okay,” I smile, “I mean he’s upset about Kim.”
She nods, “which he should be,” she throws her hands in the air, “what was he thinking,” she shakes her head, “I love him I really do but I hope he realizes his actions hurt more than just him,” she gives me a pointed look, “you remember that. Think about how he’s divided you in half,” I give her a look, “you had to choose Kim over Kammie,” I look confused and she smiles, “you’ll understand once you think about what I said. Anyways, just think about your actions and how you can affect other people too.” She walks over to my door and I think she’s going to leave, but instead she grabs my dress that’s hanging on the back of my door. I watch her lift it up, and she motions for me, “I’ll help you out so you don’t screw up your hair. I nod and allow her to help me slip into the dress.
After she’s zipped it up she shakes her head, “you look gorgeous,” I give her a smile and she leaves closing the door behind her. When the door shuts; doors in my mind rip open and slam shut by different thoughts. I think about what she said. How if Trevor never cheated then me and Kammie would still be friends. But Melissa didn’t know it all; I mean Kammie played her hand in the matter too and thinking back on things Kammie use to flirt with Trevor all the time. I know Trevor wasn’t completely innocent but neither was Kammie. And I guess Kammie was right. I did choose sides. I mean my heart ached for Kim and I didn’t really try and reach out to Kammie all that much. I bite my lip. I didn’t even attempt to be there for Kammie, I was so focused on how wrong she was that I never thought about how it would feel to be in her shoes. I mean we all made mistakes. Didn’t I with Blake? All those times I kept checking him out and while I was with Evan? What’s the difference?
My eyes well up but tears never fall as I think about how I was never there for Kammie. I mean what if she wanted to be forgiven, but her guilt was so thick that she just didn’t know how to achieve it like Evan said at the diner. I mean maybe he did know things and I knew nothing at all. Kammie isn’t a bad person, why would I have been friends with her for so long if she was? My eyes water from tears begging to fall but I won’t allow them to pass; it hurts that Kammie isn’t here with me, but it hurts more that I wasn’t there for her. I close my eyes and take a few deep breathes. I look into the mirror and hold my chin up. I decided on a golden gown with sheer cut-outs down both sides of the bodice of the dress, and for the first time I feel beautiful.
My cell chimes with a text from Evan. I slip on my shoes and after reading that he was waiting outside I run and pound a fist to Trevor’s door, “Let’s go!”
“Down here,” I stop fisting his door and see that he’s waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs looking like a million bucks.
I slip my arm through Trevor’s when I see he’s cracking his knuckles like a loon, “stop making a fuss, you look fabulous!” I give him a hug and I really mean it. He looks amazing, Kim is totally going to piss herself when she sees him.
In between a thousand flashes of Melissa’s camera, Trevor opens the door for Evan; he stares at me like he can’t believe I’m real. My skin itches under his gaze, my hearts starts to get out of control, I’m getting self conscious with the way he’s looking at me. “You look good.” He says with a gulp.
I smile. Evan’s messy hair is styled like a dude in a boy band and he looks hot, his brown eyes fall into mine, and I go to tell him he’s hot, but Trevor interrupts, “Is Kim here?” he looks crazed and frantic, I’d laugh if I didn’t feel so sorry for him.
Evan rubs the back of his neck, “Look I’ve been meaning to tell you something,” Trevor’s face falls as he waits for the news of being stood up to be released, “um well Kammie is in one of my classes and she overheard me talking to Blake about us all getting a limo,” he looks at me, “and I didn’t know Blake was going to take Kammie,” he shakes his head, “I swear, I thought they were broken up.”
Trevor wipes a hand over his face, “And?” he asks eagerly.
“Well Kim is in the limo,” Trevor knocks Evan out of the way as he rushes outside to the limo, “I wanted to surprise you,” I nod and he continues, “and well when I told Blake what we were doing I didn’t know Kammie was in the picture and things are all kinds of awkward in there.” He says.
I take his hand and give it a squeeze, “it’s okay,” I assure him even though I don’t think it’s going to be. As I get in the limo I find Kammie and Blake off to a corner by themselves. Kim looks three kinds of pissed and then her face lights up when she sees me. She demands to sit next to me, which would leave Trevor to be sitting next to Kammie, but Evan saves the day and takes his seat next to Kammie. I nod at him and sit across from him and mouth a thank you.
Kammie doesn’t even look my way, she just talks wildly to Blake and once the limo rolls around we decide to cruise around town a while before making it to formal. Kammie whips out a bottle of vodka that I didn’t see and decides we should drink a little. The bott
le’s passed around and the only two who haven’t taken a drink are me and Evan. He smiles at me and I smile back at him.
Kammie shoves the bottle in my face, “take a sip,” her words are a little slurred like she’s been hitting the bottle pretty hard. Everyone else just took the one drink and was done, except for her.
I shake my head, “I’m okay,” I turn to look out the window and she shoves the bottle closer to me, hitting my cheek a little roughly with the bottle. I gasp.
Kim narrows her eyes, “she doesn’t want it.”
Kammie slumps back to her seat and turns the bottle up, “huh,” she rolls her eyes, “so what you and Evan are the real deal?” She raises a brow, “You gonna get married and have his babies?”
My face flushes and I just ignore the random comment because none of what she says makes any sense or has anything to do with the fact that I don’t want to drink. Kim calls her a bitch and I hide my grin behind my lipstick as I reapply some wicked red to my lips. I look up when the action of Blake ripping the bottle from Kammie’s hands and throwing it back catches my eye.
I stare at him, watching him chug from the bottle, Kammie snags it back after half the bottle is gone, “easy,” she rubs his chest and shoots me a wicked look.
The night passes through as normal as any other high school function. I dance with Evan for most of the night and I dance some with Kim. I have no idea where Blake and Kammie went, they got lost in the crowd as soon as we got here. What didn’t happen that should have, was Kim dancing with Trevor. He sat in the corner most of the night brooding in silence.
I walk over to him, “go ask her to dance.” He grunts in response, “if you don’t someone else will,” he glares at me. I throw my hands up when the DJ calls for last song of the night for lovers. I shake my head, “impossible,” I grab his hands and drag him on to the dance floor and don’t stop until we find Kim. She’s dancing with some cute guy. I tap him on the shoulder, he looks at me all kinds of confused and I nod my head for him to hit the road. “This is stupid,” I shove Trevor into Kim, “fight for each other or give up,”
“Excuse me?” Kim asks with hands on her hips.
I fold my arms across my chest, “Stop pining for each other,” I shake my head, “I’m sick of these stupid games. Forgive or forget,” I point at the two of them and walk off wiping my hands clean of their dilemma.
In the midst of my tirade I didn’t notice how quickly people had flooded the dance floor to tangle themselves with their sweethearts. Standing in the middle of couples dancing, I spot Blake from across the room. My mouth goes dry when I see him staring at me. He’s leaning against the wall, with his tux unbuttoned and his hair’s all a mess. He’s looking good. Too good. He gives me a smile that I return and I just stand there in the middle of the crowd swaying to the music all alone. He takes a step forward; the DJ encourages everyone to take the dance floor and dance with their partners, my heart skips a beat. There’s a spot light probing the room. It shines on Blake, my heart flutters when I realize he’s making his way over to me. My heartbeat freezes in my throat, the anticipation is killing me. He’s almost to me when a blinding light blares in my face; I close my eyes and take a step back in shock. An arm wraps around me and my heart goes all crazy; I can feel it pummeling my chest. Tingles ripple in my toes, and bubble under my skin. A smile cracks my face and I can’t control it. I open my eyes to find Evan inches from my face, “If it wasn’t for the spotlight I’d never have found you,” I blink three times and stumble into his arms in pure shock. I collapse into him as we sway to the music and dance.
Disappointment rocks me to the core. I realize, painfully, that I don’t want to be in Evan’s arms. Evan as wonderful as he is, he’s not who I want to be with. I feel so ashamed, I look up at him and he’s smiling down at me, I give him a weak smile and he pulls me closer, resting a head on my shoulder. I look over his shoulder and I see Blake staring at me while he’s twirling Kammie in a circle. Our eyes meet and our faces crumble. I know I shouldn’t but I keep looking at him, watching him dance, spinning in slow circles to the sound of the music with Kammie. He looks at me and it’s as if I can read his thoughts, because they’re echoes of my own; cat and mouse, desperation and out of time. I close my eyes and don’t open them until the lights kick on and the music turns off and someone announces that this concluded this year’s end of formal dance.